by Anna J.
By the time I got downstairs, Joey was just closing and locking the door, so I took that opportunity to chill out on the couch and get comfortable. He wouldn’t be back for a while, so I could do what I needed to do right there and it would be cleaned up before he got home. I didn’t want to have to get back up for anything, so before I pulled anything out of my pocketbook, I went to the kitchen and made me a quick grub, so that I could fall back.
Clicking on the television and putting my food to the side, I pulled out my works from my pocketbook and spread everything out on the coffee table. I’d grabbed a fresh syringe from the job, so I was straight. My hands were almost shaking from the anticipation.
Holding the small vial of Snow White up to my nose, I sniffed it through the plastic before I broke the seal and tapped half of its contents out onto a metal spoon. My mouth started to water in anticipation as I dropped a capful of water onto the spoon and stirred it up a bit before placing the flame from my lighter under it. My eyes glazed over as the solution began to bubble, and I carefully placed a piece of a cotton ball on top to soak up the excess before pulling it up into the syringe.
Gently placing the filled syringe on the table after tapping the excess air out, I pulled my Gucci belt from the loops in my jeans in one quick motion, because I left the tourniquet I normally used at the job. Quickly wrapping the belt around my thigh, I pulled it as tight as I could, until I could see a good vein bulge in the spot in the back of my knee. I rotated legs so that it wasn’t obvious, but I knew I would have to get a better spot soon.
My hands began to shake more as I secured the belt through a punctured hole. I grabbed the syringe from the table, preparing myself for the best feeling in life.
I thought I heard keys at the door, but I chalked it up to paranoia, because I was scared that Joey would bust in. Steadying my hand, I positioned the syringe and brought it closer to my vein, ready for ecstasy. At the moment the needle punctured my skin and I begin to release the drug into my system, I looked up to see Joey standing in the doorway.
I wanted to pull the needle out, but my thumb was still pressing down in a slow motion on the top of the syringe, and I couldn’t stop it. At one point, I thought I saw two Joeys standing there, but I could only focus long enough to put the syringe back on the table and wipe my nose on the back of my hand. I knew my speech would be slurred, but I tried to talk to him anyway.
“What you doin’ back here so soon?” I thought I said, as the effect of the drugs made my body feel heavy. All I could do was lean back on the couch and try to keep my head from slumping, but I was already losing the battle. This shit that Journey gave me must not have been cut all the way, because I never felt like this before. Damn, I only used half the cap. A whole one probably would have killed my ass.
I couldn’t hear him talking over my heartbeat, but I knew he was, because through the slits of my eyes, I could see his mouth moving. He was yelling something in my face, and I was trying to at least look like I was interested in what he was saying, but I don’t think I was pulling it off well.
Closing my eyes one last time, I tried to take a deep breath so that I could get back into the game, but out of nowhere, it felt like I got hit in my eye with a ton of bricks as a bright light flashed before me. With my one good eye left, I could see Joey’s fist balled up and him coming in for another blow. I got up what strength I could to shield my face, but it felt like I was being held down, and my body started to itch all over like I had the chicken pox or something. I wanted to scream, but all I could taste was blood from the busted lip I now had, and it felt like I might be spitting out a tooth or three before this was all over.
Joey lost his damn mind up in here, beating on me like I was a stranger. I began to cry, thinking that would stop him, but it felt like he hit me harder. My tears burned my face. It felt like he was leaving fist prints all over my body. He killed my only brother years ago, even though he would never admit it, so I had no one to call to retaliate for me. I was dead wrong, though, so I just laid there and took the beating until I passed out.
I didn’t think I was out that long, but when I woke up, the house was pitch black. I felt like I had gotten hit by a train. I couldn’t open my left eye, and it gave me a headache just thinking about how I got it. It took me a minute, but I was finally able to get up off the couch and flick the light on, and that alone almost made me hit the floor.
Everything was gone. The TV, my pocketbook, and my get-high—everything was gone. I turned and saw that the door was cracked open a little, and came to the conclusion that someone must have come in after Joey left, but who? Everyone knew who my man was. Would they really blatantly disrespect him like that? I wanted to call him and tell him what happened, but he just beat the shit out of me, so what difference would it make to him?
Locking the door and securing it with the dead bolt, I went upstairs to get what was left of my stash so that I could get it together. It was only a little bit left, and I wouldn’t buy anymore after this, so I would be straight. I needed to get my family back; there was nothing else I had to live for.
Pulling my stash from out of my Gucci knee boot tucked way back in the closet, I sat down on the edge of the bed and chopped the shit up with a razor on my compact mirror. I would have really rather shot the shit up, but whoever came in there took my shit, so that didn’t leave me too many options. I never snorted before, but my logic was it couldn’t be any worse than shooting the shit, so I went for it.
The shit burned the hell out of my nose, and my eyes watered up immediately. I felt lightheaded, so I lay back on the bed, hoping the room would stop spinning soon and I didn’t overdose.
Thinking back to when I first met Joey, tears streamed down my face. They were burning the shut eye like I had poured salt inside, but I couldn’t stop. Joey and Khalid were all I had, but I didn’t know if they would be enough to keep me from wanting the feeling I got from this Snow White. I mean, you only live once, right? Now was my time, but I wasn’t going to get caught up in this shit. I could stop whenever I was ready. That was my story, and I was sticking to it.
Journey Clayton
My Last First Kiss
We held hands as we walked from the trolley tunnel at Nineteenth and Market, over a block to Chestnut Street, because the movie we wanted to see wasn’t playing in University City. Khalid kept whispering in my ear, telling me how good I looked, and I was blushing all over the place and giggling like a young girl. I was so wet and anxious to give my virginity to Khalid that I couldn’t wait to get home. On the real, I wanted to skip the movie and all that, but Khalid liked coming down here, because we could walk down to the arcade on Fifteenth Street afterwards and chill in there for a while before we went home. Our favorite game was House of the Dead, and the last time we played, we almost ended it.
Between boards, he would lean over and kiss me, and that was turning me on even more. On the flip side, I had so many secrets I wanted to tell him. I just didn’t know how. I wanted to tell him that his mom came to me a few times to cop, and even though I was not supposed to be selling drugs, just bagging it up, I gave it to her because I thought Vince sent her around for it. On some real shit, did I want to know that my mom and dad were on that shit? Maybe, because I found out when it was too late, and now I was parentless.
“What you thinking about?” Khalid asked me as he hugged me closer to him. We were now leaned up against the wall outside the arcade, contemplating getting a slice from Spiro’s Pizza before we hopped on the trolley to get back down the way. He was really dragging this shit out, because I was ready to give him the business right now.
“You and me. I have a gift for you,” I said to him before I tongue-kissed him until we were both out of breath. We smiled at each other afterwards, and I was glad that he walked right past the pizza shop and went directly to the trolley stop on Fifteenth Street. I was ready to get things poppin’, and since I knew he wasn’t expecting me to break him off, it would be even better.
The trolley ride seemed much longer tonight than normal, but the 36 was right there. We just had to wait about ten minutes before it pulled off. We walked from the movies to the trolley, and at this time of night, most of the trolleys waited until they were almost full to pull off. I didn’t know if they got there too early or were just starting out or what, but that’s the way it went. All the trolleys that ran in the city stopped at Fifteenth Street; you just had to wait for your number trolley to pull up.
We sat all the way in the back of the empty trolley. I couldn’t wait to get home. I was afraid, because all I really knew and felt about sex were the horrible things that my uncle did to me. I knew with Khalid it wouldn’t be the same, but I couldn’t really pinpoint what would be different about it besides the fact that it wouldn’t be forced. I was on fire, and wished for a few seconds that the driver would skip all the stops until we got to ours.
Khalid got off the trolley first to make sure there were no cars trying to speed around the trolley, as if they didn’t know people would be getting off. He held my hand all the way down the block. When we got near Choice’s crib, I could see Vince eyeballing me from the porch. I acted straight like I ain’t see his ass on the walk by. He promised me when I was nine that when I turned fourteen he would be the first to bust my cherry, and that’s why it was so important for me to give it to Khalid tonight. I wouldn’t give Vince the satisfaction.
Those same guys that were outside when we left were still standing on the corner when we approached the block. They hated Khalid because he scooped me and I wouldn’t give anyone else the time of day, but them fucking with him wouldn’t make me want them more. Guys can be so stupid at times, I swear. I could feel Khalid tense up a little, so I squeezed his hand to assure him he had nothing to worry about.
“Yo, I would bend that ass right over. I know that pussy is tight,” one of the guys said when we crossed the street. Khalid simply smiled and kissed me on the lips in front of them before looking back and ushering me up the steps. I would have to talk to him about that later, because feeding into their nonsense could cause problems down the line, and I wasn’t in the mood.
When we got upstairs, I made him wait in the living room so that I could double check that my bedroom was in place for him and that Vince hadn’t gone through my stuff. I had to dig through about nine pocketbooks before I found the condoms I got from CVS a while ago, hoping I wouldn’t have to give one to Vince before Khalid. We had the same sex education class last year, so we made sure to pay extra attention and ask any questions to the teacher before school was let out. It seemed kind of odd, because it seemed like everyone was already having sex and we were behind the times, but to me, that just made it more special because I wasn’t just giving up the booty to just anyone. I was so in love with Khalid, I wouldn’t have this any other way.
He was sitting on the couch when I came out, and was looking real good to me. I made sure the door was locked, sliding over the dead bolt so that Vince couldn’t just walk in on us. I grabbed his hand and walked him into the bedroom.
He looked different in the semi-light room, the only light source being a strawberry Glade candle I had burning on the dresser. His smile matched mine as he sat down on the bed, and I used the remote to hit play on my little pink stereo in the corner. I made up a slow jams tape with about twelve songs that I knew would set the mood right. Every time I heard these songs, they made me think of making love to Khalid, and I hoped he felt the same way.
I was a little nervous when I walked up to him and stood between his legs. He had a gentle touch, and wasn’t all fumbling like I thought he would be. We promised that we would wait for each other, and it crossed my mind for four seconds that he might have gotten it already, because Lord knows everyone in the damn school was on his dick. Pushing the thought from my mind, I concentrated on the good feelings I got from his hands rubbing up and down my body.
He sucked on my hard nipples through the material of my dress. It created a cool sensation when he took his mouth off and latched on to the other one. His fingers did a slow dance across my clit at the same time, causing my knees to buckle a little from the sensation. With my eyes closed and my head thrown back, I allowed Khalid to fondle me until I felt like I was going to explode.
My uncle never made me feel like this, and my head was spinning, because I didn’t know whether to stop him or let him continue. Vince made me feel so dirty, and I tried to hide my body from him. Khalid made me feel loved, and I felt like I loved him even more.
“Khalid, I feel like I’m about to—”
“Shhh,” he said to me before I could finish my sentence. Standing up, he pulled my dress over my head, afterward laying me on the bed so that he could remove my thong. He wanted me to keep my shoes on, so I obliged, not really understanding why. I had a towel laid out on the bed, because I was expecting to bleed a little, and I didn’t want to mess up my sheets.
“You nervous, baby?” Khalid asked me as I felt his now naked body next to mine on my bed. His hardness rested on my thigh, and I could feel it pulsate in tune with our breathing. He was big to be such a young boy, and for the first time that night, I was really scared to do it.
“Yeah, a little,” I admitted to him. I was scared a lot, but I couldn’t let Vince have the satisfaction of stealing my innocence. Khalid was the love of my life, and he deserved it.
“Don’t be. I was watching this movie the other day, and it looked fairly easy. We’ll just take our time, and if it hurts too bad, I’ll stop, okay?”
“Okay.”
I was nervous, but we were able to talk each other through it, and it turned out perfect. Khalid was ready to just dip in my honey pot, but I had to show him what I learned about foreplay from the romance books I was allowed to read. We did a lot of rubbing and caressing each other, and it didn’t take much to convince him to go down on me to get me wetter than I was. I didn’t think I would be able to orgasm from insertion, so I at least wanted to before the night was out.
Khalid did a good job with orally satisfying me, paying attention to what I told him to do. Part of it was from the books I’d read, but most of it was from the feeling I got when Vince went down on me. I had him mimic what Vince did, and it felt so good. A part of me felt horrible because I knew I wasn’t supposed to like what Vince did to me, but the response my body gave from his touch was uncontrollable. I wanted to hate it but I couldn’t.
I surprised him by returning the favor, and he exploded in a short minute. I did what I had to do to get him back up so that we could do what we came here for.
“You ready to do this?” I asked him as I caressed his hard dick in between my thighs. I could feel it thumping against my clit, and I couldn’t wait to finally feel him inside of me.
“Are you?” he asked, sounding more nervous than I was.
“Yeah.”
He lay back on the bed, and I used both my hands to roll the condom down on him before we got started. He looked unsure as he rested himself in between my legs, asking me if I was sure once more before he started to put it in.
“Okay, ma. I’m going to push it in slow.”
He started to push himself inside of me, and my body tensed at the pressure I felt down there. I broke out into a sweat, and almost couldn’t breathe as he tried to work himself inside of me. He continued to kiss me softly all over my face and rubbed up and down my sides as he slowed grinded me to get himself in. A tear escaped my closed eyes and ran down the side of my face because it hurt so bad. It felt like I was full, but he seemed to have more to go.
“Damn, girl, you feel so good,” he moaned in my ear as he continued to push and pull until he was all the way inside of me. I wanted to scream because the burning and pain was too much, but I just bit my lip and hoped it would get better soon.
It felt like he was finally all the way in me, and it began to get a little easier for him to go in and out. The pain slowly subsided, and it began to feel so good, as I was finally able to push back. I moaned in hi
s ear and told him how much I loved him. He doing the same in return.
I couldn’t even hear the radio anymore; all I could hear was our breathing and the sounds my pussy made every time he pushed in deep. I knew I wasn’t ready for all the hardcore shit yet, but just thinking about doing it doggy style and riding him had me at an orgasm in no time.
Khalid held me tighter as he approached his orgasm, and I had to gently remind him to pull out before he came, just in case the condom broke. We couldn’t afford for me to get pregnant, and even with a condom, you still could if there was a small hole in it.
My legs felt wobbly, and I couldn’t move. The clock revealed that only about ten minutes had actually passed, but that was the longest ten minutes of my life. I got up from the bed to go wash up and put a pad on so that I wouldn’t bleed all over the place. Khalid had to be home by two or his mom would have a fit, so I wanted to at least be able to chill with him before he had to roll out.
On the way out of the room, his phone began to ring, so I gave him some privacy while he talked to whoever it was. I didn’t know how long I would be bleeding for, but I’d look it up on the Internet, because I wanted to do it again as soon as possible.
Looking in the mirror, I noticed a small passion mark on the side of my neck that I would have to cover up before Vince saw it. I was a woman now, and the thought made me smile. Finally I beat Vince at something, and there was no turning back now. It would be Khalid and me forever.
Khalid Street
King of the World
“Hello?” I spoke into the phone when I saw my dad’s number pop up on the screen. I was nervous because I thought it was Gina calling me with her bullshit again, and I didn’t want to have to explain to Journey how she got my number in the first place.
