Where did your heart go? (The Heart Trilogy Book 1)

by Audrina Lane

  “Are you ok to stand as we need to clear the arena” he said.

  “I’ll help her” the deep voice said from behind me and once again I felt my whole body trembling from the sound that had not changed in all these years. I looked across to Sarah and she just looked sheepish and then smiled at me.

  “Thanks” I said, as James pulled me up and I was standing again, his body so close behind me that we were almost touching, even though he had withdrawn his grip on me.

  “I think I need some air” I said, as Sarah and Chris appeared either side of me and we started to all make our way through the seats to the exit.

  “We’ll see you in a little while” Mitchell said, as he stood with his arms around my daughter, both their faces looked pale with shock at my reaction. I nodded and then we were all heading towards the doors. Sarah motioned to the café we had stopped at earlier which had a small outside seating area and she left Chris to escort me to a seat in the evening air. At the counter Sarah ordered and then spotted James heading in my direction.

  “James, give her some space, she needs time” Sarah said “We all do”

  He nodded and turned to his parents for a quick word.

  “Would you be able to give Mitchell a lift back to the hotel if I take my Mum and Dad now?” he asked.

  “Yes that’s a good idea” Sarah said. James was about to leave when he hesitated and pulled out a piece of paper that he handed to Sarah.

  “Can you give this to Stephanie and tell her I would like to talk to her but only if she wants to” he finished.

  “Ok” Sarah said, she could plainly see the love that still burned brightly in his eyes “I will” she finished.

  From the chair I could see Pam, Peter and James heading out towards the parking area as Sarah headed over to us with some hot coffee.

  “It’s a shame the bar is not open I could do with something stronger” Chris said, as he watched them all depart as well. Sarah sat down and as she passed me the coffee she also handed me a small slip of paper.

  “It’s from James, he said he would like to talk to you when you are ready too” she finished, taking a long sip of her coffee and smiling over at Chris. I carefully opened it and once again I was sucked back into the past, his writing so familiar so remembered through the year of his letters. I could see my fingers shaking as I tried to concentrate on the words that were written there.

  “Dearest Stephanie,

  I know it’s been a long time, too long really but I need to talk to you and tell you what really happened all those years ago. I know I must have broken your heart and for that I am truly sorry but if you’ll hear me out maybe I can start to mend it again. Mitchell knows which room I am in at the hotel and I will be there all evening waiting for you till the end of time.

  Yours,

  James”

  Breathing out and in again I read it once more and then a final time as I closed my eyes and felt the panic starting to rise. My one hand reached for my wrist and I started to rub my scar as I felt my emotions spiralling out of control once more. Chris noticed and reached over to stop me.

  “I’ll tell him to leave you alone if you want me too” he said “I could kill him for what he did to you” he finished, the anger rising in his voice. Sarah reached for my other hand.

  “You must do what you feel you have too. Just remember you are not alone this time” she said, her voice choked with emotion as she watched the tears fall slowly down my cheeks.

  I excused myself and headed for the nearest rest rooms so that I could clear my tears, I needed to be alone; I needed to think about what had just happened. Leaning against the cool tiles the tears continued to run in a torrent down my face, I thought I had cried them all last night but yet they still kept coming like constant rain. Eventually they slowed and I splashed some water onto my face and looked down at the red lines on my wrists. What was I going to do? Half of me had just wanted to turn around in his arms and never let him go again. Half of me wanted to hit him for the hurt he had caused me when he had walked out of my life. I just didn’t know what the best thing to do was. It wasn’t just me now it was my daughter and his son too.

  Walking back into the foyer I heard the music coming from the hall as Charlotte and Mitchell practised their dance for tomorrow as their two worlds combined to make one. I smiled and walked back to where Sarah and Chris were sat talking. They looked up as I sat down.

  “I’m going to go and hear him out” I said “I owe it to him and as long as you are there I am strong enough now to decide” I finished, my mind made up.

  “So is it just going to be us at this fancy restaurant later” Chris said to Sarah.

  “I think so as Charlie told me that Mitch is taking her up in the London Eye this evening and I don’t think they want to hang out with us old ones” she replied.

  “Thanks guys, for everything but can I just ask did you know?”

  Sarah cleared her throat and replied.

  “When Charlotte spoke to me the other week she told me who Mitchell’s Dad was and I was so shocked and she swore me to secrecy but then at the Bar-B-Q Chris sort of guessed. Sorry I should have told you” she finished.

  “It’s alright I understand. I always thought that Mitchell reminded me of someone but I talked myself out of imagining that my thoughts could be right” I said, a small smile breaking on my lips.

  The music finally finished and after another ten minutes Charlie and Mitch appeared, their faces shining with sweat and love. I saw Charlie hesitate as she reached the table.

  “Sorry Mum” she said “I should have told you”

  “What’s done is done so let’s get going to the hotel” I replied. Mitch looked around as Sarah stood up.

  “Your Dad took your grandparents back to the hotel so we’ll give you a lift” Sarah said. We gathered up our bags and with Charlotte tucking her arm through mine we headed for the car and the short drive to the hotel. Once inside we checked in and discovered we were all on the same floor. In the lift I turned to Mitchell.

  “James gave me a note and said you would know which room he was in as we’re going to talk” I said.

  “He’s in Room 306 just give it a knock” he said “He still loves you” he finished. I nodded and smiled as we headed along the corridor.

  I paused at the door of my room and turned to Charlotte

  “Have fun but don’t stay out too late”

  “I will Mum but if you need me just give me a call or text on my mobile” she replied, then she stepped forward and filled my arms “I love you Mum” she whispered.

  “I love you too sweetheart” I replied and then I watched them head a little further along the corridor. Sarah and Chris were in the room next door to me and in a hurry to get ready and go out.

  “Are you sure you won’t come out and eat with us, you know make him wait” Sarah said. I shook my head.

  “I don’t think I can eat I’m too nervous and I just need to get this over with” I replied.

  “Ok” they both said and let themselves into their room. Turning the handle I entered my room and crossed the room to look out of the window.

  Pacing around I considered all the things that James might say to me. Did he really still love me? As Mitchell had said. How did I feel about him now? Did I still love him or just the memory of him? Could I forgive him? As the thoughts whirled around my mind I decided to jump in the shower and change before I took the short walk down the hallway to his room. As the water soothed me I shut my eyes and remembered all the times we had spent together under the water, right back to that very first kiss in the cool of the swimming pool. My stomach fluttered with nerves as I wrapped the towel around me and then rummaged through my bag for something to wear.

  I pulled the dress out that I had been planning to wear to the restaurant and held it up against my body. Dropping it onto the bed I let my towel fall and stood and looked at my reflection. I ran my hands down over my still slim build and hips and looked at my small breas
ts which were still in the right place, the nipples suddenly springing to life under my fingertips. It was as if my body knew where I was going and reliving all the feelings his fingers had bought to life in me when we were together. I pulled on my underwear and dress and started to do my hair and make up. Enough to hide some of my wrinkles but not too much as I didn’t want him to think I had made any special effort.

  In the end I pulled the dress back off and instead stepped into my jeans and shirt which looked a lot better. With my hair in a simple pony tail and a small amount of lip gloss on I felt as ready and I was going too. The butterflies in my stomach made me feel sick but I knew it was just nerves. Then I grabbed my bag, phone and room key and headed out of safety and into the hotel corridor. As I was in Room 342 I had a bit of a walk to find his room. In my head I listened to George Michael singing Faith as that’s what I needed to have to face this moment. I paused outside his door as I could hear my heart hammering in my chest. When I held my hand up to knock I noticed how badly it was shaking as I connected it with the wood of the door and then waited.

  James had sat in his room ever since he had returned to the hotel. He had tried to watch some television but he kept seeing Stephanie in every scene, she still looked beautiful and so young as if the years had hardly touched her since the last moment he had. He took a shower and then stared at himself in the mirror, would she come? Would she give him the chance? Would she still love him? So many questions to answer and he just had to wait and hope for a few more hours. Mitchell was taking Charlotte up in the London Eye and then out for a meal before who knew what they would be up to in their room. He knew his son, he knew from the look in his eyes the desire he felt for Charlie and he hoped the best for their future. A future which might hang in the balance depending on how things went with Stephanie today. Then he heard her hesitant knock and he turned away from the view and crossed to open the door, his heart was pounding and he felt the nervous butterflies banging against his rib cage.

  Chapter 51

  Charlotte and Mitchell said goodbye to her Mum and headed back down the corridor a little way to Room 316. Mitch held the door open and Charlie walked in and immediately dropped her bag and spun around.

  “It’s fantastic” she breathed, walking towards the window and looking out at the city lights surrounding them. She felt Mitchell standing behind her and he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her tight against him.

  “You are the best view I’ve seen in ages” he whispered as his lips brushed the back of her neck and his hands reached up to caress her breasts. She turned to face him and flung her arms around his neck as he easily picked her up and walked the short distance to the large bed. Leaning back on the cool sheets he pushed her down and lay atop of her as their mouths finally met. When they parted Charlie sat up.

  “Well, what a day that was” she exclaimed

  “You looked amazing on stage I managed to sneak back stage and watch you perform” Mitch replied, stroking his finger up and down her arm as if he was joining up all her freckles in a large dot to dot pattern.

  “I didn’t get the chance to see you but Mum said you were brilliant and she thinks our main competition is the college from London” Charlie replied, shivering under his touch.

  “Yes they are pretty formidable” Mitch replied “but we still have tomorrow to go” he finished, as he glanced at his watch “Enough chat we’d better start getting ready” He pulled her towards him and started to pull off her top and then her leggings until she was just in her underwear.

  “Shower?” he asked.

  “What with you?” she squeaked.

  “Yes I can do your back for you” he replied, the cheeky grin she loved lit up his face.

  “See you in there” she said, as she undid her bra and pulled down her knickers before heading into the bathroom. Mitch was not far behind her.

  Under the water their hands explored each other’s bodies and Charlotte wished they weren’t going out now as the desire bubbled inside her as the soap bubbles ran down over her skin. As they dried off Mitch hurried her along.

  “I’ve got the taxi booked for six thirty and our trip on The Eye is booked for seven and I don’t want us to be late” he said, even though they kept stopping to kiss, as they danced around each other pulling on clothes. Charlie was pleased she had packed her long black sundress and silver heels as she dried her hair and fastened it up. She twirled around for Mitchell and he didn’t say a word, just smiled and pulled her close.

  In the foyer the receptionist told them that their taxi was waiting and Charlotte felt honoured to be holding Mitchell’s hand as they strolled out of the hotel. The receptionist admired his frame and wondered who the lucky girl at his side was. As the sights and sounds of London passed the cab windows Charlie couldn’t stop smiling and looking over at Mitchell, who looked so smart in his shirt and trousers.

  “So where are we going after the London Eye?” she asked.

  “That’s a surprise” he said, as he put his arm around her shoulders and dropped a kiss onto her cheek. Stepping out in front of the big wheel Charlie looked up and realised it was much bigger than she imagined as they handed over their tickets and stepped into the large glass capsule. It was quiet and it meant they didn’t have to share the space as they slowly ascended into the darkening sky above the capital.

  Looking over London was a spectacle and they both spent much of the ascent looking from different points at all the places they had both only seen on the television. When they reached the top Mitchell pulled her close and tipped her chin up to him so that their lips could meet in a kiss that far eclipsed the view, as she closed her eyes and surrendered to his touch. When they eventually parted they were on the way down as they stood and watched the ground coming up to meet them. As they alighted at the bottom Mitch hailed another cab and whispered to the driver their surprise destination. Then they drove into the West End and were dropped off outside a theatre showing ‘Rock You’ the musical based around the music of Queen.

  “This is amazing Mitchell, how did you afford all this?” Charlie exclaimed as they headed inside and found their seats.

  “I borrowed some money off Dad, I’ll pay him back so don’t worry” Mitch replied “You are worth it” he finished, picking up her hand and holding it tightly in his as the lights went down. It was a fantastic show and after standing for the final song and singing and dancing along they agreed it was a wonderful evening.

  “They are always holding auditions for dancers to these shows and I thought I might try out later in the year” Mitch said, as they walked out into the street and looked for somewhere to grab a bite to eat.

  “Wow, that would be amazing I’m not sure Mum will let me” Charlie replied.

  “Well, you won’t know if you don’t ask her, maybe she will?” Mitch replied, ever the optimist.

  They ended up grabbing a burger before Mitch hailed another cab and they headed back to the hotel. As they walked along the corridor to their room they both wondered how their parents were getting on. They opened the door to their room as suddenly there were more important things on their mind. Crossing the room to each other they paused, just a few millimetres apart.

  “So is this special enough” Mitch breathed, as he reached out and pushed a loose tendril of her hair from her face. She shivered just from the slightest touch of his fingertip as she moved into his embrace and nodded.

  “I love you so much Charlotte Eden” Mitch said, kissing her forehead and brushing his lips ever closer to hers.

  “I love you too Mitchell Cooke” she replied, before their lips collided in a kiss that blew her away.

  Slowly he removed her dress and drank in the sight of her body in just under wear; she was truly beautiful in his eyes as she started to remove his shirt. He helped her with the buckle on his trousers as he noticed that her hands were shaking so much that they kept slipping. Then he led her to the bed and they fell upon the cool covers as the moonlight poured in through th
e gap in the curtains. As they kissed and caressed each other’s skin they gently removed the final barriers between their bodies. Mitchell immediately trailed kisses down over her hot, smooth skin and then to the place that bought her the most pleasure, intending to get her almost to the point of orgasm before he entered her for the very first time.

  He gently kissed, licked and nibbled his way around her and felt her body arch and respond under his touch as she wiggled beneath him and then her hands tugged him to come back up and reclaim her lips.

  “Are you ready” he whispered, as he kissed her cheek and neck.

  “Yes I think so” she softy replied.

  He reached for a condom and then started to nudge his way inside of her. She felt full of him as she started to move in rhythm with his body. It felt like they were dancing on a different plane as the stars filled the room above them and she disappeared under the wings of passion that lifted them both.

  When they finally floated back down to earth, they were bathed in sweat and clinging to each other, unable to move. Charlie looked into Mitchell’s bright green eyes and he looked straight back at her as love passed between them as bright as the city lights. He leaned over and turned the lights out and then they eventually closed their eyes and went to sleep, each dreaming of the other and of course their dance tomorrow.

  Sarah and Chris returned from the restaurant after a rather tense evening.

  “What do you think is happening?” Sarah asked, as they headed along the corridor to their room.

  “I’m not sure, do you want to knock Stephanie’s door in case she is in her room?” Chris said, as they slowed outside the door next to theirs.

  “Ok” Sarah said, raising her hand. She knocked and waited and then knocked again. As the hallway was empty she leaned her head against the wood to see if there were any sounds from within, but it was silent.