Where did your heart go? (The Heart Trilogy Book 1)

by Audrina Lane

  I agree with you regarding Top Gun, I had barely watched it until Charlotte chose one of our songs to dance too and asked if she could watch it with me. It was a difficult evening as you are right that certain scenes remind me of certain times in our relationship. I would love to watch it with you some day. I have had to listen to the songs as with my job I can’t refuse to play music that reminds me of us as it happens all the time. In a way I find that music has been the only constant through my life and I know without a doubt that I can’t live without it.

  Keep listening to the radio and I will keep searching.

  Love Steph x”

  Checking the house was closed I turned off the music in the kitchen and headed upstairs. I could hear faint giggles coming from Charlie’s room and I felt both happy and wistful. In my room I crossed to my jewellery box and opened the lid. I didn’t own much of value as I spied the tiny slip of white satin, pushed securely into the corner. Carefully I pulled it out and un-wrapped the St Christopher that lay inside. A symbol of the happiest moment in my life as I held it up to the light and read the small inscription that had cost me a month’s pocket money at the time. I held it tightly and crossed to my window and looked out onto the night sky. A single star caught my eye as a tiny tear slid down my cheek and the memories flooded back, so bitter sweet. Turning I returned the necklace to its home and shut the lid.

  Under the covers I slipped into sleep and this time I was back in love and everything was perfect on the soft, slightly damp grass, as James lay me down beneath him and I surrendered to his touch.

  In her bedroom Charlotte turned to Mitchell.

  “I love you” she whispered “You’re like the wind”

  “I love you too” he replied, sleepy and content in her arms “You’ve taken my heart” he finished. Then as sleep claimed them they were once again united as they danced in their dreams.

  James locked his silent house and headed upstairs. He paused and looked into the room that now belonged to Mitchell. It still held all his old memories of times with Stephanie. The time they had played with ice cubes a particular favourite or the time he had given a massage to the song “Father Figure”. It almost felt like yesterday to him as he slipped beneath the covers of a bed they had never shared. Somehow after her last email he hoped that it wouldn’t be too long before they shared more than a bed again.

  Chapter 65

  I woke early on Monday and remembered to give Charlie and Mitch a call as I passed on my way downstairs. There was a week to go before the biggest event of my life, in more ways than I could comprehend. As Paul’s cheerful voice on the radio spoke to me I turned and started to make coffee and toast as I heard the shower start upstairs.

  “Well there’s a week to go until Rock on the River and our very own secret admirer is up early this morning with his request for Stephanie. It’s the classic track ‘No more lonely nights’ by Paul McCartney”

  Listening to the lyrics of the song I couldn’t help but smile at James’ persistence as I absorbed the sentiments behind the words.

  “May I never miss the thrill of being near you

  And if it takes a couple of years

  To turn your tears to laughter

  I will do what I feel to be right”

  Grabbing my phone I called the station.

  “Morning Paul”

  “Morning Steph, are you excited yet?”

  “Oh yes, definitely but I’m here to respond to my secret admirer. Can you play ‘First Time’ by Robin Beck, I think we’ve got it on the system” I finished.

  “Yes, found it but it seems a bit of a strange choice. Are you sure you don’t know who the mystery man is?” Paul asked.

  “Maybe I do Paul but I’m enjoying the game too much” I replied, giggling.

  “See you later then” he finished, as the phone line went dead and his voice returned to the radio.

  “I’ve just been talking to Stephanie and in return she would like me to play ‘First Time’ by Robin Beck for her mystery date on Saturday”

  In his kitchen James smiled as his choice of song played, he thought the lyrics really said what he wanted to at this stage. He had spent the previous evening choosing songs for the rest of the week and now it was just a case of waiting to hear Stephanie’s responses. When the Robin Beck song came on he grinned, as he knew without a doubt that she had guessed it was him. The lyrics were great.

  “And baby when I met you

  Every feeling I had was new

  I don’t think there are words to

  Describe the sensations”

  Charlie and Mitch arrived in the kitchen to spot me smiling as the radio played the song I had chosen.

  “Morning Mum” Charlie said “This is a cool song I’ve never heard it before” she said, as I turned it up slightly. I spotted her looking over at Mitch as the lyrics meant something to her relationship too.

  “Toast” I asked.

  “Yes thanks Steph” Mitch replied, as he reached for his coffee cup.

  “So what are you up too today?” I asked Charlie.

  “Dance practice this afternoon but I thought I might start getting some prices for driving lessons and start learning the theory side so I can take the test” she replied.

  “I’d better start saving then” I said.

  “Well I could teach you” Mitch said “I’ve been driving since I was seventeen and I’ll be twenty one in a couple of months”

  “I think perhaps I’ll send Charlie for lessons, I remember my Dad teaching me and we had a few arguments over things so perhaps better for your relationship if you don’t” I said.

  “I think Mum might be right” Charlie said “Julia is learning at the moment and she says her instructor is really good” she finished.

  Leaving them in the kitchen I headed upstairs to get dressed ready for work. The songs from earlier were filling my head with optimism and happiness as I pulled on my jeans and t-shirt. I knew that this week was going to be fun. Back downstairs I spotted Mitch already dressed in his leathers ready for the ride home.

  “I’m off now” I said “See you at the weekend Mitchell” I finished.

  “Yes, hope this week goes ok with the setting up” he said.

  “Mitch is coming down on Thursday afternoon” Charlie said “Would we be able to go and see the dance floor that evening?”

  “Yes, it should be almost set up by the end of the day Thursday so they just have Friday to make any slight changes. I’ll take you both down when I go and check”

  I left them in the hallway together as I jumped in my car and headed off to work. In my mirror I could see them lingering together on the doorstep before I turned the corner.

  The rest of Monday passed as usual and apart from the odd text from James we kept things light and he still hadn’t replied to my email yet. As the sunshine re-appeared on Tuesday morning I knew that James was on early shift so I wasn’t expecting any requests until later. Sure enough it was as I was driving home that Ian spoke to me through the radio.

  “Our Mystery man is later today but here is the song for Stephanie today it’s ‘Sign your name across my heart’ by Terence Trent D’arby.”

  Pulling over into a nearby lay-by I found my phone in the bag and dropped Ian a text as the smooth voice of Terence sang to me.

  “Fortunately you have

  Someone who relies on you

  We started out as friends

  But the thought of you just caves me in

  The symptoms are so deep

  It is much too late to turn away”

  James had certainly chosen another good song which spoke of our relationship. Racking my brain quickly I sent the message.

  “Stephanie has just sent me a text and her response to today’s song is a romantic one from Whitney Houston ‘Where do broken hearts go’, hope you enjoy it”

  Pulling back onto the road I turned my stereo up and sang along to the words that were so apt with regards to our break up. It was almost as i
f I had written them myself.

  “I know it’s been some time

  But there’s something on my mind

  You see I haven’t been the same

  Since that cold November day”

  James turned the radio up to listen to the words as Whitney sang. He realised that Stephanie had really considered this with the poignant mention of the month they split up. He had to hand it to her she really knew her music and lyrics that touched his heart completely. He needed no further encouragement that during this week she was slowly coming around to their relationship beginning again. At home I turned on the tablet pc to initially check on the plans for Wednesday as I needed to be down at the river by eight in the morning. Blinking in my inbox were two messages so I opened the first one which was from Sarah.

  “Hi Steph, sorry haven’t been in touch recently have been busy with the campaign to Save Herefordshire Libraries and have also managed to catch a cold. Thankfully it’s clearing up now so when are you free for a catch up coffee before Saturday?

  Also I have been listening to the song requests from yesterday and today – is there something going on that I should know about? Have you guessed who your secret admirer is then? Give me a call later.

  Please also sign the petition attached and send it on to anyone else who you think will sign it!!

  Love Sarah x”

  As I nursed my coffee and signed the petition, making sure I sent it to everyone else on my list of contacts. I decided to give Sarah a call later in the evening and tell her the situation. Meanwhile I clicked on the second email which was from James.

  “Dear Steph,

  Your last letter was another honest one from you and it breaks my heart that the events I was forced to impose upon you changed the person you were so drastically. I hope that with time and love I can help you find the girl I knew and loved all those years ago. I sense she is still there just beneath the surface. I guess I must have changed in some way but I have yet to discover this!!

  With regards to your question about Felicity and her involvement now in mine and the boys lives. Basically when she eventually left me and them I tried to keep things on a friendly basis as they were only young (Darren – 4, Mitchell – 2) and she used to have them for a day or two during the week but this seemed to dwindle as her new relationship heated up and eventually she would make time for them at Christmas and their birthdays only. Now they are older and able to make the decision to see her I believe that they rarely do, but I have left that up to them. My parents were a god send and pretty much they helped a lot with bringing them up as I struggled to work and look after them. It was a hard period but for me but a relief that she was finally out of my life as much as she could be. I hope that answers your question enough to help with your decision. I guess she loves them but I have to admit that looking back they were just pawns in her control of us, which is an awful thing to admit. Believe me what I say that if I do ever happen to see her again then I will not be responsible for my actions after the pain she caused you.

  Anyway, enough of the past unless it’s remembering the good times of which there were many. Do you realise that we hardly had an argument in the time we were together – that must be some sort of record!!!

  Really looking forward to seeing you on Saturday and seeing you control the crowds which undoubtedly you will. After all I remember when you took the reins at my 21st Birthday party.

  Till Saturday

  Love James x”

  I read it back through for a final time as I considered my reply. Hearing the front door shut Charlie appeared, sweaty and warm from her practice.

  “Hi Mum” she said, crossing the room to grab a bottle of water from the fridge.

  “Hi Charlie, everything ok” I asked.

  “Great Mum, the new dance is fantastic both of the others are just a case of continuing to practice them. How long until tea as I want to practise my part in Mitch’s new dance” she finished.

  “Come down when you’re ready, I’m just about to put the frozen lasagne in the oven so I’ll throw some chips in when you appear” I finished. As she disappeared to her room and I heard the music start up I turned back to the email and wondered how to reply.

  Leaving the screen open I grabbed the phone and tapped in Sarah’s number, perhaps a chat with my best friend would help.

  “Hello, who is this?” a deep voice answered.

  “Hi Chris, how are you?”

  “Hi Steph, fine thanks and you”

  “Good thanks is your wonderful wife around”

  “Yes, she just smiling at me now and asking who I’m talking too” he grinned “I’ll pass you over and look forward to seeing you on Saturday for the event of the century for our small town”

  “I know, I just hope Rick’s driver can find us” I replied. Chris laughed “Here’s the other member of the Rick Astley appreciation society”

  “Hi Steph” Sarah said, giggling at her husbands last comment.

  “Hi Sarah, how’s the cold”

  “Better thanks and thanks for signing the petition, the numbers are rising so quickly it really warms your heart to know how much the people of Herefordshire value their Library service when it is threatened with closure”

  “Will your job be ok” I asked.

  “I really don’t know at this stage I am just keeping everything crossed” she said. I could hear the worry in her voice, despite her light hearted tone.

  “Lets cut to the chase then, who is he?”

  “Oh you mean my Mystery man” I replied, coyly.

  “Yes, damn it I’m your best friend I have a right to know”

  “I believe that it’s James. He sent me the song ‘Valerie’ last week and suggested substituting the name with mine and it was the line ‘I’m the same boy I used to be’ that got me thinking. Since then the couple of songs this week have only confirmed my suspicions” I said.

  “So, what will you do on Saturday then?”

  “Probably try and act surprised, but I think James may also have guessed that I know it’s him”

  “Have you decided whether to take things further yet” Sarah asked.

  “Almost, we have been exchanging some very frank emails about the subject but deep down I am still scared”

  “Well, you know where I am if you need to talk further before Saturday” she finished.

  “Thanks and if I need too I will”

  “In the meantime I’ll keep my radio on as if the rest of the listeners are as entranced by this flirting as I am you have a captive audience” Sarah giggled.

  “I’d better go, I think the music has finished upstairs which means Charlie will be down for food shortly” I replied.

  “Take care Steph and how about a coffee on Friday?

  “I’ll let you know, depends how things are moving with the event if I have time”

  “Ok, speak soon” she replied.

  “Bye Sarah” I finished, hanging up the phone.

  I could hear the shower running upstairs so I quickly checked the lasagne and threw some chips into a tray. As Charlie wandered in, I started to pull some plates out and sort some salad too.

  “Hungry?”

  “Starving Mum” she replied, as she poured us both a glass of orange juice and sat down, phone in hand.

  “So how are things going with Mitchell” I asked.

  “Great thanks Mum; when he gets his exam results he’s going to open his own dance school. He even said I would make a good teacher” she replied.

  “Well, I guess it’s something you can look at when you finish your current course” I said.

  “Definitely” she replied. Her phone beeped and she was momentarily distracted.

  “So Mum, what about you and James” she asked.

  “I am still thinking about it all” I replied. I smiled as I stood up and started to plate up our tea.

  “So it’s not a definite no then” she pushed.

  “No, it’s a definite maybe at the moment” I fi
nished, as we tucked into the food.

  Chapter 66

  Wednesday morning dawned with a grey sky and drizzle but I was full of excitement as I was off to get the contractors started on the stage build. Hurrying downstairs I made a quick cup of coffee and scribbled a note for Charlie, in case she had forgotten where I was heading for this early. As it was easier to walk I pulled on my rain coat and headed out the door. I decided to cut through the car park for the swimming pool and as the sun started to poke through the dark clouds I let my mind wander back to 1988. How many times had I walked this route as an excited sixteen year old? All my hopes and fears jumbled up in a knot of emotions that rolled around my stomach. Remembering it all I started to feel the knot once more. Frayed at the edges but still moving inside of me.

  I took a look at the now tired frontage of the Pool as I walked past it, apart from age and the new steps and ramp at the front it had largely remained unaltered by time. An extension on the side housed a gym and I knew that the diving board had long since been removed from the pool area. Such happy memoires as I continued through to the river meadow. Ahead I could already see the various vehicles and groups of guys hanging around and enjoying the respite from the earlier rain. The foreman recognised me from Saturday and headed over.

  “Morning Mrs Eden” he said, reaching out to shake my hand.

  “Call me Stephanie” I replied in response “Do you have the plans?”

  “Yes” he replied, unfurling the various different sheets of paper. A gust of wind tried to remove them from his finger tips but his grip was sure and strong.