Sugar And Spice (Holidays: Valentine)

by Charlotte French

Pete crossed the waiting room in a few short, quick strides and caught Megan’s elbow in his hand.

  “Let’s go for a walk, Megs,” he said. “Work off some of that pent up steam.”

  “But –“

  Before she could protest any further, Pete was already steering her away. When they were out of view, Shannon sighed.

  “I deserved that,” she said.

  “Everyone’s just…tense. It’s been a long night.”

  Shannon nodded slowly and fiddled with her bracelets, clinking them together for nearly a full minute before she raised her gaze to look at Crissy.

  “He’s going to make it, right?” she said.

  “Yes,” Crissy said. “He’ll be fine.”

  Shannon let out a long, deep breath and closed her eyes. “Thank you.”

  “I know who you are,” Crissy said.

  Shannon raised her eyebrows then laughed softly. “Of course you do. Megan told you?”

  Crissy nodded. “I need to be honest because I’m exhausted and I don’t have the energy to be anything but that. The past few weeks have been hell for me and I’m an emotional wreck at the moment so I don’t have the patience to tiptoe through any games if that’s why you’re here.”

  Shannon said nothing, waiting in silence, studying her.

  “I thought I lost him today,” Crissy continued. “I have given him…” She stopped and shook her head, her voice cracking slightly as she continued. “I have given him everything. There’s nothing left. He has every piece of me in the palm of his hand. Yes, he’s in pain, and a lot of it. Yes, he has to wrestle for every single shallow breath he can get. But I can’t do anything for him right now, none of us can, and I know that will drive us all up the wall.”

  “So…what are you saying?” Shannon said slowly, cautiously.

  “He’s had enough pain already.”

  Shannon raised an eyebrow. “It almost sounds like you’re asking me to leave.”

  “Not, not necessarily. Unless you’re here for other reasons besides concern. I may not be able to ease his pain or help him breathe but I will protect him because I love him.”

  As soon as the words left her mouth, her breath stuttered and her heart lurched. She’d said it. Out loud. Without a moment of hesitation. She loved him. It seemed so simple, saying those tiny little words she had been so afraid of for so long.

  A slight smile teased at the corner of Shannon’s mouth.

  “I can see that,” she said. “Allow me to put at least one of your worries to rest. I’m here because I got a call at one o’clock in the morning that Quinn had been hospitalized with severe injuries. We might not be seeing each other anymore but Quinn used to be a big part of my life. I was concerned when I got the call and I think that’s an acceptable, reasonable reaction.”

  “Yes it is.”

  “That’s why I’m here. Nothing more. Nothing less.”

  Crissy nodded. “Thank you.”

  “It’s good, you sticking up for him. God knows I never did that. But I have to say I’m sorry.”

  “For what?”

  “I was wrong,” Shannon said. “There’s no blushing about you. Seems Quinn finally found that better half he always wanted to spend the rest of his life with.”

  ***

  Quinn was kept in intensive care for another week before he was moved out. He still needed his oxygen mask every once in a while but at least he could talk and breathe at the same time now instead of taking all of his energy to do one or the other.

  But even after he was out of intensive care, there was always someone at Quinn’s side. Amy insisted that Crissy had to go home every once in a while to get a decent meal and sleep in a real bed, not the cramped, uncomfortable naps she was getting in the waiting room or in the chair next to Quinn’s hospital bed. Crissy tried to protest but then Pete and Megan backed Amy up and Crissy knew she was fighting a losing battle.

  So Crissy traded shifts, with Pete, Stephen, Amy, Megan, and…even though it itched at her…Shannon on occasion.

  By the start of the second week, Crissy arrived at the hospital to take her shift for the day. She carried a small paper bag full of apple turnovers that she had made last night to get her mind off of everything. Even though she had seen Quinn improving from day to day, she still worried about him, still saw the small grimaces of pain he tried to hide away before anyone else noticed.

  But she noticed. She always did.

  Voices drifted out of Quinn’s room and Crissy heard him laugh. For the past two weeks, Quinn was barely able to stay awake for a few minutes at a time, fading in and out of sleep, struggling to keep up with any kind of conversation, his thoughts sluggish and words slow to form past his raw throat.

  But this was a true laugh, unhampered by the usual cough or wheezing intake of breath. That blossom of warmth burst in Crissy’s chest again, the way it always did when she heard him laugh. She ducked her head, smiling. He was getting better. Only a little while longer and then she could take him home…

  She stopped at the threshold of his room and her smile faltered. Shannon was perched on the edge of Quinn’s bed, her hip nearly touching his leg. She leaned over him, one hand braced on the bed for support, as they talked in low tones, whispering to each other. Quinn’s eyes were bright, his gaze studying her face.

  A stab of jealousy rocketed through Crissy’s veins despite her best attempts to tamp it down. They were old friends. That’s all. And after the hell that Quinn had been through over these past few weeks, he was smiling, that’s all she should care about.

  Still…she couldn’t quite suffocate that spark of jealousy into silence.

  Just as Crissy realized she should probably give them a little more time, Quinn’s gaze shifted over Shannon’s shoulder and he sat up a little with a slight wince.

  “Hey, Crissy,” he said. “I wasn’t expecting you for another hour.”

  “I thought I’d get here early and give Pete a rest after the night shift but…”

  She glanced questioningly in Shannon’s direction. Shannon waved her off with a little laugh and showed no intention of moving away from her seat at Quinn’s side.

  “Oh, we’ve got everything handled here,” she said. “You don’t have to stay. Pete left about twenty minutes ago. I felt like having breakfast with Quinn and I just…decided to stick around.”

  Crissy’s fingers curled into the paper bag, the turnovers suddenly feeling like a lead weight dragging her down.

  “So you’ve already eaten,” she said.

  “Yes, I picked up a few pastries for Quinn on my way here. He’s always had a sweet tooth, you know.”

  The tiny green spark of jealousy grew, snaking up around Crissy’s heart and squeezing. Her gaze slid to Quinn. He didn’t say anything but he watched her, his gaze steady and unwavering. There was still a slight haze lingering in his eyes from the pain killers but he was sharper now, following the thread of conversation just fine. And she could have sworn there was the faintest hint of apology darkening his eyes…

  A beat of silence stretched through the room, followed by another and another. The paper bag crackled like a flame as her grip grew tighter and tighter. Finally, Shannon gestured to a chair in the corner.

  “Why don’t you sit for a few minutes?” she said. “Quinn and I have been catching up. I can’t believe how much can happen in only a few short years.”

  Crissy hesitated for a moment, wondering if she should politely decline and give them space to talk alone or if she should accept the invitation and stay. Envy pulsed in her heart and she tried not to let it affect her judgment. But it was proving difficult to shake off the nagging feeling that she was getting pushed aside.

  “Actually, Shannon,” Quinn said. “Would you mind giving us some time alone?”

  Shannon looked almost ready to protest but she gathered her jacket and her purse with a nod.

  “I need to refill my coffee anyway,” she said.

  As she slid off the bed, she patted Quinn’
s arm and her fingers lingered there for a moment too long before she caught his hand and gave it a squeeze.

  “I’ll see you later,” she said. “I still haven’t told you why I moved back to Colorado. It’s a wild ride from start to finish, I promise.”

  “Knowing you, I’m sure it is,” he said.

  Shannon tipped her chin up with a pleased smile before she walked out. For several seconds, Crissy didn’t say anything, wrestling to tame the raging jealous monster in her chest. Quinn finally held his hand out to her.

  “Hey sweetheart,” he said softly. “You’re too far away over there.”

  She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth. All she wanted to do was take his hand, touch him…make him laugh again.

  When Crissy still hesitated, a shadow of concern settled over Quinn’s face and his hand dropped to the bed.

  “We need to talk,” he said.

  “About what?”

  He blew out a humorless breath and closed his eyes. “You know what, Crissy. You don’t have to pretend for my sake.”

  A rush of guilt flooded through her muscles and she pulled the chair out of the corner, sliding it in next to his bed.

  “I just…we can talk later,” she said. “You need to rest.”

  “That’s all I’ve been doing for two weeks. I’m sick of this place. I’m sick of sitting on my ass for hours, twiddling my thumbs. Just…please, Crissy. I’d like to talk to you about something…someone…that’s obviously been bothering you and me for a while. Probably should have brought it up long before now anyway.”

  Crissy sighed and set the bag of turnovers on the bedside table. He raised his eyebrows.

  “That smells good,” he said.

  “I made turnovers for you but…” She trailed off with a shrug.

  “I didn’t eat anything of what Shannon brought,” he said.

  “You…didn’t?”

  He shook his head. “A box of half-stale doughnuts? I don’t think so. I’m never going back to that when I have you to spoil me on a daily basis.”

  She smiled slightly, the stinging burn of jealousy easing a tiny bit. Quinn reached over, gritting his teeth against the movement as he stretched his arm out all the way to take her hand.

  “How much did Megan tell you?” he asked quietly. “Because I’m sure she did.”

  “She told me about California. About how you were ready to follow Shannon anywhere but Shannon wasn’t ready to commit.”

  “Wasn’t ready to commit. Those are definitely not Megan’s words.”

  Her gaze shifted away from him.

  “That’s how you put it,” he continued. “To be polite because you always want everyone to get along. You’re too nice for this world, sweetheart.”

  Crissy didn’t say anything. She didn’t feel nice, not when there was still a lingering pinprick of jealousy poking at her every once in a while.

  Quinn sighed. “As soon as Megan found out I was serious about you, she got that mother bear look in her eye again and I knew she was going to give you that speech. I should have warned you.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “No it isn’t. Not even close.”

  After nearly a minute of silence, Crissy said, “You’re right. It’s not okay and I’m confused because I don’t know how to feel about any of this.”

  “Crissy,” he whispered, tightening his hold on her hand. “I screwed up.”

  Crissy kept her gaze trained on his hand placed over hers, silent.

  “This whole thing is like some…” He stopped, shook his head. “Cruel form of payback finally catching up to me after all these years.”

  “Just please tell me,” she said, so quiet and careful in the silence. “Why is she still your emergency contact, Quinn?” As she spoke, she never took her gaze away from their entwined hands. It was easier to look at his hand, to trace over his knuckles like she had a thousand times before, memorizing him by touch.

  “Because I was going to ask her to marry me,” he replied.

  Crissy went still as a rush of ice cold rocketed through her veins. Her lungs went tight, clamped in a vise grip before she forced herself to relax. She knew how Shannon had hurt him, turned him away. And Quinn had stayed by Crissy’s side through some hellish times over the past few months. She wasn’t going to let a little jealousy get in the way of her being there for him now when he needed it. But it was hard, so, so hard.

  “She said no?” Crissy asked.

  “I never asked her. I caught her cheating on me and I just…saw red. Walked out and didn’t look back. Purged everything out of my life that reminded me of her.”

  “Except for changing your emergency contact.”

  He sighed again, heavier this time with crushing regret. “Except for that. Which I’m changing as soon as possible, by the way.”

  Crissy closed her eyes as the next question boiled to the surface in all its cruel glory and it was out before she could stop it, before she could even consider stopping it.

  “You don’t seem to have a problem with her being here now,” she whispered.

  “I do, actually,” he said.

  “But…”

  She clamped her mouth shut before she could say that she’d caught the two of them laughing together, at ease and comfortable in a way that put her on edge.

  “I’m just as confused on how to feel about this as you are, sweetheart. She was a friend before she became anything more than that.” He hesitated as his thumb skimmed back and forth over her knuckles. “I’ve asked her to leave. Several times. But she’s told me more than once that she’s only here to make sure I’m okay.”

  “She’s told me that too.”

  “I don’t believe her. Not for a second, but…”

  Quinn closed his eyes, his lips pressed tight. Crissy waited for a moment before she took the bag of turnovers and placed it on the bed next to him.

  “Food makes everything better,” she said.

  He opened his eyes and smiled slightly but the concern, the worry was still there, an unwelcome guest looming over them. He shifted to sit up a little straighter, never letting go of her hand.

  “I’m guessing Megan didn’t tell you this part,” he said. “But I was in a bad head space when I met Shannon.”

  Crissy raised her eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean that my father didn’t treat us well. Megan got the brunt of it which is why she’s so protective. That’s also why she never forgave Shannon and she’s still bitter about it to this day.”

  “Hate to say it, but I’m bitter about it too.”

  “Fair enough.”

  She squeezed his hand. “I’m listening. Keep going.”

  He took in a deep breath and let it out. “My family was falling apart. Then Shannon came along and she was…well, she was an escape. Always bubbly and happy and aspiring to get away, to escape responsibilities.”

  “And it sounded wonderful,” Crissy said.

  “Absolutely. My life was in pieces and she wasn’t. That was the only thing I was sure about when it looked like nothing in my life was certain.”

  “No one can fault you for that.”

  “Then I fault myself for it because I knew better. A few months after I’d met Shannon, my dad hit Megan. And that was the last straw. We had a huge fight, I kicked him out. But when I spent time with Shannon, it felt like…it felt like I could forget for a while. Like none of it had happened and everything was perfect again. So I ran away. That’s what I did, Crissy. I ran away. From all of it, my problems, my family, my job.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me any of this before?”

  “Because it was a mistake. Because it was in the past. Because I never wanted you to question that I still had feelings for her…like you are now.”

  Crissy opened her mouth to protest but he brushed his thumb over her chin and shook his head.

  “You don’t have to say it,” he said. “You’ve always worn your heart on your sleeve.”

  Her shou
lders drooped with relief and she inched her chair closer to the bed. “The past few weeks have been…so confusing. And then this…I didn’t know what to think.”

  “Well I know that when all this is over, I’m going home with you. Not her. That’s what you should be thinking of.”

  Crissy smiled and dipped her head to press a kiss to his palm.

  “I’m not running away again, Crissy,” he said softly. “Not from my family and certainly not from you. Shannon is…a piece of my past that I have to face, whether I want to or not. And what I mean when I say that is she’s not staying. She’ll leave after she gets bored which, I expect, won’t be too long now. But that’s the only reason she’s still here, because it feels like that nightmare with my father didn’t happen. I know it’s wrong – “

  Crissy shook her head. “It makes sense. I trust you, Quinn. When you say you’re coming home with me, I believe you.”

  A faint smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he toyed with her fingers. “You know when I met you, I was…horrified at how hard and fast I fell for you.”

  “Bribing you with food might have had something to do with that.”

  He laughed softly. “Probably. But I wasn’t sure I was ready to rely on anyone else outside my family ever again. Then the more I got to know you, the more I realized how you were just…there, with this quiet consistency I never thought existed.”

  “That’s a good thing, I hope.”

  He nodded. “A very good thing. Shannon taught me to run away. But you…you taught me to stay.”

  Crissy rose up from her chair and carefully placed her hands on either side of Quinn’s face as she kissed him, lingering a moment or two before she broke away and rested her forehead against his. Despite the IV strapped to his arm, despite the way he gritted his teeth against the pain any movement brought on, his hand trailed up her arm and settled at the back of her head, his thumb brushing her ear as he took in a shuddering breath.

  “Okay that’s it,” he whispered. “I’m signing myself out and taking you home.”

  “No, you’re not. You still have a few more days left.”

  “I don’t care. You can’t kiss me like that then leave me here.”

  She laughed against his mouth and kissed him a little harder, her tongue tracing his bottom lip before she pulled back. He tipped his chin up to kiss her again but she put a finger against his lips, shaking her head as she retreated to her chair.