She tried to pick up her cellphone, but it passed through her fingers. Her state was now so advanced that there was only one thing that could save her, something that part of her—her pride, or her fear, or both—had stopped her from doing before. For three years she’d been unable to make herself do it. And even now, even though she knew that making this call was her only chance, she was still hesitant to do it.
56
The cloud thief
As Aby swam down towards the Prairie Embassy Hotel, she tried to justify what she had seen—it was the rust reacting with something in the air, or a mirage, or a trick of her tired eyes. She could not bring herself to believe the most obvious explanation: the first sign that a koma upplifa has passed is a flash of blue light. But Aby knew that once a koma upplifa enters a cloud, it absorbs the cloud entirely, using the cloud’s strength to travel to the next world. Although there was some debate about how long it took a soul to fuse with a cloud, it was generally believed to be just under two hours.
When Aby reached the hotel, she swam through open doors and out windows, into rooms and back outside. She delighted in her renewed ability to go up when she wanted to and down when she wanted to. She swam up all five flights of stairs, then dove straight down through the middle. She made loop-de-loops in the lobby. When she was sure that at least two hours had gone by, Aby swam back up to the surface.
Hovering just below the water, she kept her eyes closed; she could not bring herself to look. She reached her hand out of the water. She felt no rain on her skin. Opening her eyes, she gave a tiny kick and pushed her head above the surface. The rain had stopped. She did not see lightning or hear thunder. She looked at the sky and saw that the cloud was shrinking.
“Well, I’ll be damned,” Aby said, although for the first time in her life she knew she wasn’t. She dove under the surface and began swimming, although she hadn’t yet decided where she would go.
57
A sailboat at Portage and Main
With the wind pushing the sailboat at just under forty knots, Stewart and the rainmakers arrived in Winnipeg in just under two hours. The water continued to rise. They travelled into the city on the Red River, and then began sailing through streets as if they were tributaries.
Stewart stayed at the rudder as they navigated between office towers and through the intersection of Portage and Main. Anderson and Kenneth took turns leaning over the side and plucking survivors from the water. They rescued people clinging to lampposts and temporary rafts made of doors and debris. Survivors jumped from the roofs of buildings to swim up to the boat. There were more than forty people aboard when Anderson spotted a man treading water, his exhaustion evident. When he was pulled over the side of the boat, he began to thank everyone aboard. It was some time before he worked his way to the stern and recognized the man at the rudder.
“Stewart?” Lewis asked, his voice full of disbelief.
“Lewis?” Stewart replied, just as bemused. He wanted to say how sorry he was about Lisa. He wanted to marvel at this uncanny reunion. But he knew they had no time. “Later. We’ll get into it later,” he said. “Just get down to the cabin and bail.”
Lewis obeyed. He joined the long line of people passing bucket after bucket back and forth. Although they had to keep bailing at a furious pace, the boat did not sink. The people on deck continued plucking survivors from the water. Even when the deck had no more room, more and more people were pulled on board.
Stewart had no idea how much time passed, but just as the rain stopped, his cellphone rang. It was Rebecca’s number.
58
Repressing nothing
Rebecca waited for her hand to become firm again, picked up her phone, and then dialled Stewart’s number.
“Stewart?” she said. She couldn’t place where he was, but a considerable crowd seemed to be very happy about something.
“Rebecca! Hello! It stopped raining. The rain has stopped!”
“I just. I wanted to ask you …”
“Speak up! I can hardly hear you.”
“This is hard for me.”
“That means it’s important. So just say it, Rebecca. Just say it out loud.”
“I want you to come home,” she said.
Stewart did not immediately answer, but through the line she heard many people rejoicing.
“Soon,” Stewart said. “I’ll be there very, very soon.”
The phone no longer felt soft in her hand. In front of her was a man walking his dog. Feeling Rebecca’s joy, he turned and stared, but Rebecca did not care. She didn’t care that the teenagers on the other side of the park could feel what she was feeling. Or that everyone driving past could feel it. Or that people in their living rooms three blocks away could feel it. Rebecca did not care that anyone and everyone could feel what she felt and she knew that she would never care again.
Acknowledgements
The following people contributed to this book more than they will ever know: Anne, Angelika and Sam. Zach, Suzanne, Ian and the Impostors and Rosemary. Andy and Mary. Chris and Rob. Stephanie, Alana, Rebecca, Michele. Rolly, Shirley, Liz, Karen and Barry, Marlo, Phoenix and Frida.
I’d also like to gratefully acknowledge the financial support of The Canada Council for the Arts, the Ontario Arts Council and Lamport/Sheppard Productions.
Copyright © 2010 Andrew Kaufman
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review. Published in 2010 by Random House Canada, a division of Random House of Canada Limited, Toronto. Distributed in Canada by Random House of Canada Limited.
www.randomhouse.ca
Random House Canada and colophon are registered trademarks.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication
Kaufman, Andrew, 1968–
The waterproof bible / Andrew Kaufman.
eISBN: 978-0-307-37388-5
I. Title.
PS8571.A892W38 2010 C813′.6 C2009-905006-4
v3.0
The Waterproof Bible Page 19
