by B. P. Draper
Chapter Three
Bubby looked around at his strange surroundings. He wondered where he was and he wanted to find that out. After all, if he was indeed the person that was meant to save the Earth from the threat of evil, he probably might want to know how to get there from here.
While most normal people—and perhaps a few morons—would have figured out to look for this information on the super-computer at his disposal, Bubby had not grasped that concept quite yet. The factors of psychosis, which Tarkin had mentioned before, were starting to have an effect on Bubby’s mind. Finally, he turned and looked at the computer. He began to eye it suspiciously for what could have been considered an eternity. He got down on his hands and knees and edged his way over to the control panel. Suddenly, he jumped up and yelled, “Boo!” in such a fashion that even the bravest of men or women (we can’t be sexist, after all) would be startled by. There was no response. Bubby next tried covering his face with his hands. He pulled them away and cried, “Peek-a-boo!” quite giddily. Still, there was not the slightest reaction from the computer.
He kicked, taunted, swore at (just kidding children!), made fun of, and tried to aggravate it in every type of way. Still there was still not even the slightest response. At last, out of sheer desperation, he flipped the switch on the panel from ‘off’ to the ‘on’ position.
Bubby leapt back, frightened, when the computer gave off a few sputters and puffs of dust and smoke as it roared to life.
“Hello, may I ask your name please?” The computer spoke directly at him in a soothing female voice, not at all as if it were computer generated.
“Yes you may,” said Bubby. There was a period of extensive silence as both waited for the other to speak.
“Well give it to me then,” the computer said, obviously irritated.
“My name is Rob… err, Bubby.”
“Nice to meet you Mr. Robberbubby.”
“No. It’s just plain Bubby. B-U-B-B-Y.”
It is a pleasure to meet you, Bubby,” the computer said as a mechanical hand came from the wall and shook his. “What would be thy bidding, sire?”
“Where in the world is my home? Or maybe planet?” asked Bubby.
“Earth is approximately 5,626,159 gazillion light years away.” Bubby’s jaw dropped. “But you need not fret,” the computer reassured him, “With the powers of Bubby, your powers of thought are also enhanced. Thus, you can simply think your way to your hometown of Canyoe and appear there in mere milli-seconds.”
“Thank you. Thank you very much,” Bubby said in an Elvis impersonating voice. With that, he disappeared from the room.
