by B. P. Draper
* * *
“Do you have a name, computer?” Bubby asked when he arrived in his secret chambers.
“Yes, my name is Data.”
“May I call you Dat for short?” Bubby inquired in a sexy voice.
“Whatever makes you happy, baby,” Dat said in an equally sensual voice.
As they thought how there was some sort of amazing chemistry between them, Bubby walked closer. He stepped over the chemistry set that had appeared on the floor as he thought of it and pressed his lips toward the screen. Suddenly he stopped, embarrassed and red in the face. Dat, who had been hoping for a sweet little peck on her monitor, regained her composure as well.
“This is so very wrong. We shouldn’t be doing this, at least not without proper adult chaperones nearby to help prevent us from giving in to certain urges.”
“I totally agree,” said Dat. “We should only have a professional relationship anyway. Just imagine what the children would look like. How could we ever explain it to them?”
“Well, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, would you mind explaining what has gotten in to people lately?”
“You might find this interesting. There is an article by Mitch Albom in this issue. Shall I read it for you?”
“No, I don’t mean People, the magazine; I mean the people of Canyoe—as in its citizens.”
“Hmm. It appears that they are under a powerful spell. A hideous monster has done this to them, and in simple terms, you kind of have to defeat it.” A three-dimensional picture appeared in the middle of the room. Bubby decided Dat was right; the monster was definitely hideous. Warts covered his dark skin and there was a fire in his eyes that would frighten the bravest of souls. He wore armor on his arms, legs, and other body areas. “Its name is Franco. He speaks French but can understand all languages spoke by the human tongue. He has provided a person to interpret what he says into English for you.”
“That seems awfully polite of him.”
A chart of additional information appeared on Dat’s screen:
Name: Franco Micromind.
Height: 8’3”
Strength: Annoying, wacky, intelligent, and extremely powerful.
Weakness: Highly emotional freak.
Capable of: Making people very curious and wary, not to mention the ability to make one mean ham and cheese omelet.
Occupation: Monster that terrorizes cities.
Creator: ?
Favorite Food: He’s a monster. What are you going to do? Cook for him?
“How do you reckon that I dispose of this menace?”
A sword, in its scabbard, shot out of the slot in the wall and into Bubby’s hand. Its handle was of polished gold, and its sleek, steel blade came to a dangerously sharp point.
“This should help enable you to defeat Franco. The original Bubby and many after him have used this sword. May it serve you well in battle.”
Bubby fastened the sword to his belt and returned to Canyoe, being careful to avoid the highway this time.
