Ruby had always loved the way Joseph’s smile was a little crooked, the way his hair picked up flecks of red when the sunlight hit it just right. She’d told him right after they met that his brown eyes reminded her of chocolate, and he’d thought it was so funny he’d brought her chocolate bars when he picked her up for their first date. Even now she couldn’t see chocolate without thinking of him.
She sighed. “After the bombing on Pearl Harbor, he joined the army. So instead of coming back to school after Christmas our sophomore year, he went off to fight. Before he left, he promised he’d come back for me. He even asked me to marry him.”
“He never made it back?” Lola asked softly.
Ruby shook her head. “No. I never saw him again.” She stood and picked up her Bible from the nightstand.
“But don’t you think he’d want you to be happy with someone else?” Lola asked. “Surely Joseph wouldn’t want you to be alone forever.”
“Do you ever think about all of those men who are never coming back?” Ruby asked softly. “I think of them a lot. Of all those lives lost on a far-off battlefield—and of the lives forever changed back home.” She sighed. “There are four war widows on my shift, and three more whose husbands are off fighting. After Joseph was killed, I realized I don’t want to risk my heart again. I don’t want to fall for someone who might not be there next week or next year.”
Lola wrinkled her forehead. “Aren’t you afraid of being lonely?”
Ruby shook her head. It was the same argument she’d had with Betty Jo last month after turning down Thomas Wilson’s date invitation. “That doesn’t matter. My mind is made up. I want to live on my own and make my own money. If I ever feel lonely, I just have to look at all those girls on my shift…or at my own cousin Lucille, who’s stuck on a pig farm raising a baby by herself while hoping and praying her husband makes it back.” Ruby shook her head again. “I will never let that be me.” She’d protect her heart and maintain her independence. It was a perfect plan.
“I think you’re making a mistake.” Lola frowned. “This fellow you’re seeing tonight may not be the right one, but there are others.”
Ruby stopped in the doorway. “I will never forget how it felt when I found out about Joseph.” She took a deep breath, steadying her voice. “The grief almost did me in. I can’t go through something like that again.” She managed a tiny smile. “Don’t worry, though. I’ll be fine on my own.” She headed toward the stairs that led to the lobby. Lola would never understand, just as Hazel and Betty Jo didn’t understand. Until you’d known the heartbreak that came from a loss like the one she’d experienced, it was impossible to know how it felt.
She stepped into the empty lobby. No sign of Cliff. Had he changed his mind?
She checked the wall clock. She’d need to leave now if she was going to make it on foot.
“You’re not planning on leaving without me, are you?” a voice asked from the doorway.
She turned to face Cliff, a smile on her face. “Of course not.”
Instead of the casual work clothes she’d seen him in before, he wore a suit and tie. It made him look like he belonged on the big screen rather than in an electrician’s office. She was touched he’d gone to such effort to look nice for church.
Cliff held the door open for her and let out a low whistle as she walked past him. “You look nice tonight. I like that dress.”
Heat flamed her face. “Thanks. It’s new.”
He opened the car door, and she climbed in.
“Well, it suits you.”
She cleared her throat. “Do you need directions to the church? It’s the one just over the railroad tracks.”
Cliff cranked the car and headed toward the gate. The guard waved them through. “I know where that is.” He slowed down as they went over the railroad tracks. “Thank you for letting me take you tonight,” he said softly.
“You’re welcome.”
Ruby couldn’t help but remember all the times she and Joseph had attended church services together. They’d sat side by side in the pew, and she’d imagined the years stretched out, a lifetime of Sundays. She’d always figured they’d finish college and he’d work at the bank like his daddy did. She’d teach school until they had kids. But the war had changed those plans and stolen those dreams. She glanced over at Cliff. He was a nice guy, she could tell. He had an air about him that told her he would take care of her. The way he opened doors and carried her suitcase. Even the way he’d refused to drop her off at the bus station or let her walk to church alone spoke to his character.
And if she were in the market for a boyfriend, he would be just the kind of guy she was looking for.
But she’d risked her heart once. And she wasn’t prepared to do it again.
Ever.
* * * * *
Cliff pulled the car into the church lot. “Wait here.” He hurried around to the passenger side and opened the door for Ruby. “Do you know many members here?” he asked as he offered a hand to help her out of the car.
“I’ve met a few.” She grinned. “But since I’ve been walking, I usually get here just as the service is starting. So there hasn’t been much time to visit.”
Cliff followed her into the stone building.
She pointed toward a wooden pew near the back. “There’s an empty spot.”
Several churchgoers introduced themselves as they made their way to the pew.
Cliff settled into the seat and looked around. Aunt Ida and Uncle Fred went to a larger congregation closer to their home. They’d asked him repeatedly to come with them, but he’d managed to put them off by claiming he had to work. The plant was open seven days a week, three shifts a day, so there was always work to be done—but he knew that wasn’t the only reason he’d stayed as far away as possible.
An older man in a suit stepped up to the podium. “Good evening,” he said. “We’re so glad you all could join us tonight.”
Cliff willed himself to concentrate and to keep an open mind. Ever since Charlie’s death a year ago, he’d avoided God, avoided church, avoided prayer. He was angry with himself for what had happened in that foxhole, but he was even angrier with the Lord.
His resolve to keep an open mind faltered as the preacher began to emphasize the importance of forgiveness.
“In Colossians 3:12, we are told to forgive as Christ has forgiven,” the preacher said, reminding his congregants that although Christ has every reason to be angry with us, He forgives us instead. “When we harbor bitterness and anger,” the preacher continued, “we are preventing ourselves from having happy, productive lives.”
Cliff considered his own situation. He’d not been able to forgive himself after Charlie’s death, nor had he believed his parents could ever forgive him. He knew he was angry and bitter. Was that preventing him from having a productive life?
But how could he possibly forgive or accept forgiveness? Any way he looked at the situation, he knew Charlie’s death had been his own fault. If he’d just reacted differently, Charlie would still be alive.
As they stood to sing a hymn at the end of the sermon, Cliff glanced over at Ruby. She had no way of knowing how hard it had been for him to step foot in the church building tonight.
“Thanks for letting me come with you,” he said as they walked to the car after the service was over.
Ruby smiled. “Thanks for driving me.” She looked up at him. “And you’re welcome to go with me again if you’d like.”
He nodded. Tonight’s sermon had bothered him, but strangely, he’d felt a glimmer of hope during the closing prayer. “I just might do that.” Though he was not yet ready to forgive himself, and though he was still angry at God for letting his little brother die right in front of him like that, he felt that tonight might be the first step in a new direction.
They climbed in the car. “Are you hungry?” Cliff asked.
“I’m starved.”
He grinned and started the engine. “I think I know just the place.
” He drove toward a diner not too far from the AOP. “How about burgers and fries?”
She nodded. “That sounds perfect.”
Cliff turned the volume knob on the radio, and Jimmy Dorsey’s “Amapola” filled the car. “Do you like this song?”
Ruby nodded. “I do. And it’s nice to hear music again.” She sighed. “My radio is on the blink.”
“Oh no.” Cliff looked over at her and grinned. “Not your prized possession. Also known as the cause of my poor aching back.”
She giggled. “It wasn’t that bad. I had a lot of shoes in that bag too.”
“Would you like for me to try and fix the radio for you? I’m pretty handy with things like that.” Cliff pulled into the parking lot at the diner and stopped the car.
Ruby smiled. “That would be wonderful. Do you really think you can fix it?”
If it made her smile at him like that again, he’d sure try. “I think so.”
They went inside and placed their orders at the counter.
“Here you go, two Coca-Colas.” The teenage boy working the cash register put two drinks on the counter. “The rest of your order will be right out.”
Cliff led the way to a table for two. “So tell me more about yourself.” He liked the way her green eyes matched her dress.
Ruby took a sip of her drink. “Well, I’m from a very small town in northeast Arkansas. So small it’s not even on a map.” She grinned. “Papa is a farmer and my brothers and I grew up working on the farm.”
“I guess that was fun.”
She nodded. “I used to complain about being the only girl in the family, but to tell you the truth, I kind of liked it. Besides, my cousin Lucille lived just down the road. How about you?”
Cliff shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “There’s not much to tell. I grew up near Ozark, in a little town called River Bend. My parents still live there.” He stirred his Coca-Cola with his straw. “I played football in high school and college. I went to Arkansas A&M down in Monticello. I haven’t finished my degree yet though.” He wanted to stop talking about himself and his past as soon as possible. “What else should I know about you?” he asked.
“Well…I played basketball when I was in high school. I like to roller skate. I love to bake, especially when I’m making up recipes.” She grinned. “You’ve already heard about my famous molasses cookies.”
“I’m still hoping to taste them someday.” A smart, funny, thoughtful girl who could bake. Cliff might’ve found the perfect woman.
Ruby grinned mischievously. “I’ll see what I can do about that.” She raised an eyebrow. “If you’re good.”
He chuckled. “I’ll do my best.” He glanced up at the counter. “Looks like our order is up. I’ll be right back.” A minute later, he placed two heaping platters of burgers and fries on the table.
“This looks yummy.”
He nodded. “It sure does. I’ll say a prayer before we eat if that’s okay.”
“I’d like that.”
Cliff bowed his head. He hadn’t talked to God much lately, but considering their first date had been to church, he felt that it was only appropriate. “Lord, please bless this food we’re about to eat. Thank You for giving me and Ruby this time to spend together. Please be with all of the boys in the military, and give our leaders wisdom to know what is best for our country. Watch over us, Lord, and keep us all safe.” Once he said “amen,” he raised his head and caught Ruby’s eye. “Are you enjoying your time in Jacksonville, or do you miss home?”
She bit down on a french fry. “I really like working. I was a little nervous in the beginning, just because it was all so new. I’m not used to having to wear a badge or safety shoes and all. I’m used to being on the farm or sitting in classes.” She popped the rest of the fry into her mouth. “But I’ve adjusted pretty well.”
“That’s great. I was a little worried about you at first, especially when you found out Hazel was getting married and leaving.” He took a bite of his burger.
Ruby tossed her dark hair. “It would’ve been easy for me to be upset about that, but I figured there was no point. I’m happy Hazel is happy.” She smiled. “And I really do believe this is the best place for me right now.”
“Me too.” He winked. “You’ve certainly livened things up. I think two of the old boys in the cafeteria on Friday had to be resuscitated just because you walked past.”
She tossed a french fry at him. “You don’t say? Well, I could say the same thing about you. The girl behind me in line was practically swooning while you were breaking up that argument. You should’ve heard her go on about how gallant you were.”
Cliff laughed. “And what did you say?” He enjoyed the way their sparring brought color to her cheeks. “It made you jealous, didn’t it?”
She rolled her eyes. “So jealous I gave her your number.”
He frowned. “Did you really?”
Now it was her turn to laugh. “Of course not.” She raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know your number.” She giggled again. “But if you want to write it down, I’ll be glad to pass it along the next time I see her.”
He grinned. She was quite a girl, this one. He liked the way she teased him back. It must be because she’d grown up with brothers.
Or maybe it was because she liked him.
Cliff quickly pushed the thought away. She’d be headed back to college in a month, and then they might as well live in different worlds.
But they could have a lot of fun for the rest of the summer. “How about a movie later this week?” he asked before he lost his nerve.
“That sounds like fun.” Ruby smiled.
Cliff returned her smile. He hadn’t even taken her back to her dorm yet, and he was already looking forward to getting together with her again.
Chapter Six
.................................
July 25, 1943
Dear Lucille,
I hope this letter finds you well. Mama’s last letter said your family had been hit by the summertime flu. I pray that everyone is well by now. I can’t wait to see sweet Annie Sue in person. She probably won’t even remember me. Have you heard from Donald lately? He’s in my prayers every night, just as Jack and Raymond are. I will be glad when this terrible war is over and the three of them are safely home.
The weeks are flying by so fast I can’t even believe it. I know you think I’m silly for wanting to live in the city and have a job, but I sure am enjoying being on my own.
I have a couple of pieces of exciting news. I will officially start a new position as line inspector on August 1st. I’ll tell you a secret, and I trust you’ll keep it between us because I don’t want to worry Mama and Papa. I’m thinking about staying here for a few more months. Of course I’ll go back and finish my teaching degree eventually, but surely postponing for a semester will be okay. I haven’t decided for sure yet, but I’ll keep you posted.
I’ve been spending time with Hazel’s cousin Cliff. He’s a neat guy, and we have a lot of fun together. Now, I know what you’re thinking, but I assure you we’re only friends. You know I’m not interested in a relationship.
Cliff and I have a lot of laughs together, and I like how easygoing he is. He’s invited me to go with him to a Razorback football game in the fall, which sounds really fun. Of course, he has no idea I’m considering staying on at the AOP, so he thinks I’ll be back at school by the time football season is here. I don’t want to tell him what I’m considering, because I want to make the decision on my own, and I know he’ll try to help.
My roommate and I are getting along really well, except that there’s a guy she wants to introduce me to. I’ve tried to explain to her that I’m not interested, but she doesn’t want to believe me. Some girls just can’t understand why I’d want to stay single.
Even though I work long hours, there’s still time for fun. I go bowling or roller skating with some of the girls from my shift. It makes me think of my freshman year in college when Hazel and I le
arned how to roller skate on the tennis courts. We got in so much trouble when we got caught—but it’s still one of my fondest memories.
The only thing I don’t like about my job is the safety shoes I have to wear when I’m working the line. They are so tight, my feet go numb after a few minutes. Sometimes I sneak in with my sandals on just so I can work in comfort. You know I don’t usually break the rules, so that tells you how bad it is. I fear my feet will never be the same and in twenty years if I’m walking with a limp, you’ll know why!
Overall, I’m happy here. It’s been a bit of an adjustment, learning to live with people who are so different from me. Until now, all my time away from home has been spent at a Christian college around people who have the same values as me. I’m surprised at how “worldly” some of the girls are here. I haven’t mentioned it in any of my letters to Mama, because I don’t want her to worry. I’m still the same girl I always was. And Cliff has been going with me to a church that’s near the facility here. I didn’t expect him to go with me every Sunday, but he does.
I think I’ve rambled on enough. I can’t wait to hear from you and I’m already looking forward to Christmas when I’m hoping to come home for a few days. Show Annie Sue my picture and tell her that “Aunt” Ruby will see her soon.
Much love to you and your little family,
Ruby Jean
* * * * *
Cliff had been dreading the third day of August something fierce, and it wasn’t just because of the humidity. It would have been Charlie’s birthday, and this was the first year without him around to celebrate it. Cliff knew that if he was having a hard time with the occasion, his parents must be awfully sad.
Aunt Ida had encouraged him to send them a letter, but he’d declined and instead just passed on his love through her correspondence.
It was strange, though. Ever since he’d been going to church with Ruby, he’d started to wonder if perhaps forgiveness was possible. Last Sunday, the lesson had been about the prodigal son, and Cliff couldn’t help but wonder if it wasn’t divine intervention.
Love Finds You at Home for Christmas Page 4
