Lola turned away from her reflection and faced Ruby. “Well, you’ll get no argument from me there. I know you’re bound and determined to keep your independence, but couldn’t you have waited until after tonight to tell him?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore. Cliff thinks I was just leading him on all that time. He said I made him look foolish.” She sighed. “I’m not that kind of girl.”
Lola sat down next to Ruby and patted her leg. “Anyone who ever saw the two of you together never thought that. Including Cliff, if he were honest with himself. But you can’t change what you want out of life, and if you know for sure what that is, then you have to go after it.”
Ruby didn’t want to mention that the more she thought of Cliff actually going out with another girl, maybe hugging her and laughing with her and kissing her—the less she knew about what she did or didn’t want. “I just wish…well, I wish I could have it all. I wish I could keep seeing Cliff but also keep my independence.”
Lola laughed. “Honey, it doesn’t work like that. There comes a time when you have to choose.” She stood up and grabbed her clutch. “And I guess you’ve chosen.”
Ruby watched her go and turned her attention back to her suitcase. Memories flooded back of the first time she’d seen Cliff, there on the sidewalk in front of her college dorm. The way they’d laughed and teased one another. The serious talks they’d had about their families and their faith.
She unwound the string of lights from her little cedar tree and couldn’t stop the tears that flooded her eyes. Cliff had strung these lights for her, one by one, because he knew they would make her smile each time she saw them. But now they only made her sad.
She plucked the lone ornament from the tree. Her early Christmas gift from Cliff. She held it up for a long moment, relishing the thought that Cliff had chosen it just for her. He’d gotten it as a reminder of the Christmases past that had been filled with happiness, and as a promise of happy Christmases yet to come. And she’d turned him away.
Ruby carefully wrapped the ornament in paper to keep it safe on the bus ride home. Someday, just as the green dress would be a reminder of her first paycheck, this ornament would be a reminder that she’d once had a best friend named Cliff.
She could only hope that one day, she’d be able to look at it and remember the happy times they’d shared. Because right now, she wasn’t sure if she’d ever be happy again.
* * * * *
As the faint strains of Christmas music played in the background, Cliff tried to concentrate on the story Irene was telling him. It was no use though. His eyes kept wandering to the door. This was probably a bad idea. He should’ve known not to take advice from Hazel, but she’d been so certain Ruby would come to her senses if she found out Cliff went out with another girl.
And he’d been very clear to Irene that he was only interested in being friends, so he’d figured there was no harm.
Except that he felt pretty miserable.
“Have you heard anything I just said?” Irene asked. She put a hand on the hip of her petite frame. “Or are you just pining away for Ruby and hoping she’ll show up?”
Cliff sighed. “Guilty. I’m sorry, Irene. I never should’ve come here tonight.”
She slapped him on the arm. “Nonsense. I knew when I invited you that you and Ruby were going through a rough patch. She’s a great girl.” Irene grinned. “But dates are hard to come by. I’d rather be here with someone preoccupied than not at all.”
He chuckled. “That’s a good attitude to have.”
“Besides, my Aub is somewhere in Europe right now. He wouldn’t want me to sit home alone and miss the party.” She tossed her blond hair. “So I figured you’d be a safe date and all, since we’re both wishing we were with someone else.”
The opening bars of “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy” began to play, and Irene grabbed Cliff’s arm. “You promised me a dance. I’m cashing in.”
Cliff chuckled. “I must warn you, I can dance a mean jitterbug.”
“Well, let’s see you prove it.” She led him onto the dance floor, and Cliff tried to get lost in the music and forget all about Ruby.
And the fact that she’d be leaving tomorrow.
For good.
* * * * *
“Tell me everything.” Ruby had waited up for Lola to return from the dance just so she could hear all the details. She might as well get used to the idea of Cliff with someone else, so she wanted every single move he’d made.
Lola grinned. “It was such fun. We really missed you though.”
“Did Cliff ask about me? Did he look like he was having a good time?” She gripped her pillow. “Did you see him kiss her or anything?”
Lola sat down on her bed and took off her shoes. “I didn’t get to talk to Cliff. Harold did, but he didn’t mention what they talked about. And I didn’t see him kiss her, but it did look like they were having a good time.” She rubbed her foot. “They did a jitterbug that was pretty entertaining. He’s a good dancer and seemed to really enjoy it when the crowd cheered for him.”
“I’ll bet he turned on the charm when he realized everyone was watching, didn’t he?” Ruby had seen it happen. He had a flair for the dramatic and could always play to the crowd.
Lola smiled. “Kind of. He has kind of a star quality. People are just naturally drawn to him.” She took a pin out of her hair and tossed it on the nightstand. “But you do too. I’ve always thought that was what made y’all so perfect together.”
“Do you think I’m making a mistake by walking away from him?”
Lola sighed. “I can’t answer that for you. If you really think you’re never going to be ready for marriage and all, then I guess it was the right decision. No one knows what’s in your heart but you.”
“But Cliff looked happy tonight? With Irene?”
Lola nodded. “From what I could tell.”
Ruby leaned back against her pillow and pulled the sheet up to her chin. Maybe that was all she needed to know. Cliff was happy. Wasn’t that what she wanted for him? To be happy. To heal from the guilt of losing Charlie. To find a place to call home.
Lord, help me to move on. Show me the path that will keep me closest to You and allow me to have the most happiness possible.
Chapter Seventeen
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December 23, 1943
Dear Hazel,
I’m trying to get this in the mail before my bus leaves, so please excuse the poor penmanship. It was so nice to see you and Troy at Thanksgiving. And I’m still in shock over your news. You’ll be such a terrific mother.
Hazel, I thought I’d better drop you a note of explanation just in case Cliff ever mentions anything about me to you. Your cousin is truly the best man I’ve ever met, and these past six months wouldn’t have been the same without him. I never knew it was possible to be such close friends with a guy.
Now that I’m about to get on the bus and leave here for good, I can confess that my feelings for Cliff grew by leaps and bounds over the months. And he did some awfully sweet things for me. The Christmas lights he strung for me were so pretty, and a week ago he gave me a beautiful ornament that he knew I’d admired. He said it was my early Christmas gift.
Then we had a big fight and honestly, I’m not sure what it was even about. He seemed awfully upset about something, but he wouldn’t come out and tell me what it was. Please don’t tell him I said this, but if he’d have come out and told me how he felt, it might’ve made a difference. We’ve talked about everything under the sun, but he’s never expressed his feelings. So we parted ways, and last night he went with another girl to the Christmas dance.
It’s okay though. I’m still considering moving out of state once I finish my degree. Now that I have some real work experience, I can try and find a job somewhere glamorous like Washington, DC.
Okay, the bus should be here any minute. I’ll stay in Searcy tonight with one of my college suitemates, and then Wade is going to
pick me up there tomorrow. It’s hard to believe I’ll be seeing my family so soon. I can’t help but feel a little sad that Cliff and I didn’t even say a proper good-bye. If you hear from him, please give him my best.
Much love and Merry Christmas,
Ruby Jean
* * * * *
When Cliff had agreed to go visit his friend Owen Sanders over Christmas, he hadn’t realized how far of a trip it would be. The directions Owen had sent via telegram had taken Cliff as far as a gas station in a little town called McCrory. Owen was supposed to meet him there and lead him the rest of the way.
Cliff pulled in to the station and spotted Owen standing beside an old farm truck. He raised an arm in greeting. “Owen,” he called.
Owen’s face broke out into a wide grin. “I’m glad you could come. My aunt and uncle are really excited too. Their house has been quiet, especially these past years. So when I mentioned inviting you, Aunt Sallye thought it was a wonderful idea.”
“Well, I appreciate it more than you know.” The closer it got to Christmas, the more Cliff wished he’d tried one more time to tell Ruby how he felt. Maybe he should’ve just said the words out loud instead of trying to be clever. He kept trying to push her out of his mind, but it seemed like her memory had set up a permanent address. “This has been a tough year, and I’m thankful for a few days off to relax.”
“This is a great place to do that. My aunt and uncle’s farm is really peaceful. Uncle Earl will put you to work if you want him to, or if you’d rather just relax and explore or whatever, that will be fine too.” Owen motioned toward the truck. “Just follow me. It’s not too far, but I’ll warn you, once we get out of town, the roads might be a little rough.”
Cliff chuckled. “Dirt doesn’t scare me.” He climbed back in his car and followed Owen out of the parking lot. He wondered again about Ruby. She’d probably be on a bus headed home by now. He’d asked her once the name of her town, and she’d just laughed and said it was so small it wasn’t even on the map. Still, she’d mentioned living in the northeast part of the state. He wondered if she was close by.
What he wouldn’t give to be able to show up at her door, take her in his arms, and tell her how he felt. Except that she’d seemed pretty certain that she wasn’t interested in a life with him—or with anyone.
That independent streak he’d so admired from the day they met had turned out to be the thing they couldn’t get past.
Thirty minutes and three dirt roads later, he parked his car next to Owen. “This is a nice place,” he said, getting out of the vehicle. “Nice, flat land.” River Bend had more hills than this, that was for sure.
“Makes for good farming.” Owen gestured toward Cliff’s sedan. “Do you need help with your bag?”
The unspoken question came through loud and clear. Cliff circled his right arm around a few times. “I’m much better than the last time you saw me. Still gives me some pain sometimes, but nothing I can’t handle.” He grinned. “Thanks, though.”
Owen shrugged. “Come on inside then. I’m sure Aunt Sallye has fixed something good to eat.”
Cliff followed Owen into the large farmhouse.
A striking woman in a flowered dress met them at the door. Despite her graying hair and lined face weathered from years in the outdoors, she still held on to the beauty of her youth. “Come in, come in.” She smiled at Cliff.
“This is my aunt Sallye,” Owen said. “She and Uncle Earl have been kind enough to take me in and give me a job for a few months.”
“Our house is much too empty these days, and Earl can use all the help he can get,” she said. “So we’ve been happy to have him here.” She turned her gaze on Cliff. “And we’re happy to have you here too.” She motioned down a hallway. “You can stay in one of the boys’ rooms.”
Cliff followed her down the hallway adorned with family photos. He gave them a cursory glance as he walked past. One in particular caught his eye. He paused to look closer.
The girl in the picture was beautiful.
And also very familiar.
“Who is this?” he asked, already knowing the answer.
Owen walked up behind him and glanced over his shoulder. “That’s my cousin R.J. I asked you if you knew her. She’s been working at the ordnance plant for the past few months.”
Cliff’s bag fell to the floor with a clatter. “You asked if I knew an R.J.” He shook his head. “You never said R.J. was a girl.”
Owen chuckled. “Yeah, I guess we’re not supposed to call her that anymore. She’s just Ruby Jean now.” He peered at Cliff. “Why? Do you know her or somethin’?”
Cliff nodded. “I do,” he whispered. “I sure do.”
Mrs. McFadden raised her eyebrows. “Ruby will be here before long. Why don’t we get you settled in Raymond’s room and give you a chance to relax a bit?”
Cliff picked up his bag and numbly followed her into a small bedroom. He set his bag on the bed and looked around. It reminded him a lot of Charlie’s room back home. “Thank you.”
“It won’t be a problem that you and Ruby know one other, will it?” Mrs. McFadden asked softly.
He shook his head. “No, ma’am. I’ll be glad to see her.”
She smiled. “And I’m sure the feeling will be mutual.”
Cliff wasn’t so sure, but he didn’t think it appropriate to say so. On the drive over, he’d been wishing he could show up at Ruby’s house and surprise her. It looked like he was going to get his wish.
Except that he had no idea what to say to her and was pretty sure she didn’t care to see him.
* * * * *
“Ruby Jean McFadden. What exactly do you have in this suitcase?” Wade groaned as he lifted her bag out of the car.
Ruby giggled. It sure was nice to be home. “Don’t poke fun. I’ve been gone for six months.” She followed Wade up the path that led to her childhood home. Even though the place wasn’t fancy, there was something comforting about its familiarity.
Mama met her at the door and pulled her into a hug. “I’m so glad you’re home.”
“Me too.”
Mama stepped back and looked at her. “You look beautiful and so grown up.”
“I am grown up.” Ruby grinned. “I might be the baby of the family, but I’m an adult now.”
Mama laughed. “You may think that, but you’ll always be my baby.” She winked. “Just wait until you have children of your own, and then you’ll understand.”
Ruby frowned. She’d told her mother time and again that she had no plans to ever settle down. Even though she’d been rethinking that decision lately, Mama didn’t know it. “Is there anything to eat? I’m starving.”
Wade poked her from behind. “There’s always something to eat. You know that. Now move out of the way before I collapse from holding this suitcase for so long.”
“Come on in the kitchen. There’s a surprise waiting.” Mama’s eyes sparkled.
A surprise in the kitchen could only mean one thing—her favorite food. “Did you bake a pecan pie?” Ruby’s mouth watered. She’d been so upset over Cliff for the past week, she’d barely had any appetite. But just the thought of her mama’s cooking was enough to make her stomach start growling.
Mama laughed. “I think this surprise is even better than pie.” She winked.
Ruby rounded the corner to the kitchen and her mouth dropped open.
There, at the wooden table where Ruby had eaten countless meals with her family, sat Cliff. A slow grin spread over his handsome face, and his blue eyes twinkled like they always did when he teased her. He stood up as she came into the room.
Ruby’s feet felt stuck to the kitchen floor. Nothing had ever seemed more out of place than Cliff did sitting in her family’s kitchen talking to Papa. Acting like he belonged there. Acting like he was part of her family and part of her life.
“Ruby,” he started.
She shook her head. “I don’t understand. How did you find me?” She couldn’t help but feel a litt
le flattered that he’d tracked her down like this. After the way things had ended between them, she’d been sure she’d never see him again.
Owen chuckled. “Oh, R.J., he didn’t come to see you. He came to visit me.”
Ruby’s face flamed. “What?”
“We were in the same regiment.” Cliff wore an uneasy expression. “Owen sent me a telegram inviting me for Christmas. I didn’t know it was your house I was coming to until I got here and saw your picture.”
“Well, that’s nice.” She forced a smile. “How’s Irene? I hope she’s doing well.”
Cliff frowned. “Fine.”
She could tell he wanted to say more, but not in front of her family. That suited her. The less they said to one another, the better.
There had been a moment when she’d first walked in and seen him sitting there that she’d actually imagined he was there to tell her he loved her. To say that he couldn’t live without her. And in that moment, her desire to keep her independence had flown out the window. But now that she knew he hadn’t come for her, she felt foolish for having those thoughts in the first place.
Chapter Eighteen
.................................
Cliff wished the floor would open up and swallow him. When Ruby had walked into the kitchen and seen him at the table, her face had lit up just like it used to when she’d spotted him across the cafeteria or seen him waiting for her in the lobby.
But now she was looking at him like she barely knew him. “It’s nice that you were able to come visit Owen for Christmas,” Ruby said. “I’m sure y’all have a lot of catching up to do.” She turned her attention away from him and to her family.
Cliff stood awkwardly next to the table as Ruby made the rounds to hug Owen and Mr. McFadden.
“Cliff, can I get you a slice of pecan pie?” Mrs. McFadden asked kindly. “It’s Ruby’s favorite.”
Love Finds You at Home for Christmas Page 11
