The Almost Girl – ebook edition

by The Almost Girl (retail) (epub)

  A soft knock on the door jerks me out of my chaotic thoughts.

  “Who is it?”

  “It’s Aurela.” I eject and throw the drive into the pack, sweeping a hand through my hair and tucking the freshly shorn strands behind my ear self-consciously. Maybe she won’t notice.

  “Come in,” I say. “I’ll be done in a sec.”

  She has changed into a gilded blue tunic and wide skirt. She looks feminine and delicate, two things that I can never seem to master. I’m no spring flower, that’s for sure, but then looks have never mattered to me. Survival has. Sighing, I smooth my plain tunic and leggings, and sit to pull on a worn pair of combat boots before standing to face my mother.

  She smiles gently, her eyes landing with the touch of a butterfly on the side of my head where the braid had been, but doesn’t say anything. Instead, she just nods. I can feel her approval, and for some reason, it warms me.

  “I’m sure you have questions,” she says. “Ones that Sauer or I didn’t answer earlier. I want you to be prepared before you go into that room.”

  She’s talking about the room where all the other Sector heads – the ones who had been watching my performance earlier – are waiting.

  “She told me to find you, you know,” I say softly. “Shae.”

  “Yes, I know.”

  “She knew about me.” It’s not a question, but Aurela nods, her eyes compassionate. For a long second, we stare at each other. Shae would have looked just like her the older she got, with the same features… the same eyes. There is grace in Aurela’s shoulders, but there’s hard strength, too. I swallow. She’s at the head of this whole revolution, this whole coup against the Neospes monarchy. She’s more than strong. I realize the core of steel I’m seeing in her is the very same core in myself that men have grown to fear here in Neospes. I’m more like her than I care to admit.

  Distracting my thoughts, I grab ahold of the black and gold wrap lying on a chest and tug it over my shoulders. Dress golds. It’s a plain shift with a high collar and shiny black buttons, one of the more formal items of clothing usually reserved for award ceremonies or funerals. I smile at the irony. We aren’t exactly going to either.

  “Are you going to war against the monarchy?” I ask, deftly fastening the over-garment’s ties around my waist. The soft material drapes nearly to mid-thigh.

  Aurela shoots a glacial smile in my direction. “It’s complicated, Riven. War isn’t the answer for anyone. But what Murek is planning will undermine everything we have built, not just in Neospes, but also in the Otherworld.”

  “What exactly is he planning?”

  “If my intelligence is correct, he’s building an army,” she says. “An army of Vectors to take to the Otherworld. Guardians have been assassinated. We believe that he means to make the people there into slaves and to control their vast resources. Water, to name one of the most important.”

  “He who controls water controls the world,” I murmur. It’s an old Neospes saying. Water here is traded like gold. If Murek somehow manages to control the Otherworld’s resources, he would become more than a king; he’d be a god. “But even if he were able to create a bridge, we can’t survive in their world,” I blurt. “I mean, you and the others. Your immune systems are too different. You’d die.”

  I flush, knowing that it was only because of my unique nature that I’d been able to survive, thrive even. Aurela stares at me, and for a second I see something like a flash of sympathy in her eyes.

  “That’s where you come in,” she says softly. “The next phase. It’s why your father wants you so badly. You’re the only living person who has ever adapted to the nanobes.”

  My words come out in a rush as I collapse back onto the bed. “He wants to clone me?”

  “More specifically, replicate your DNA.”

  My breath is coming in short bursts, but her words are no surprise to me. As much as I hate what I am, I know that she is right. I am the blueprint to universe domination, because the laws of natural selection do not apply to me. No wonder I stopped having any side effects in the Otherworld. My body – my nanoplasm – was forced to adapt once I stopped taking the pills.

  “Aurela, I know Cale’s not involved in any of this. Shae” – I nearly gag on her name – “said that I shouldn’t trust him, but I do. I’d been at his side every day before I left to find Caden. He is dying. Murek killed his father, and his mother left to protect her other son.”

  Aurela nods. “We will protect him if we can.” She pauses. “But Caden comes first. He is the true crown prince; do you understand that?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good, then let’s go, unless you have any more questions.” She stands and stares pointedly at me.

  “Just one more question,” I say, but my eyes drop to the ground as a rush of warmth races across and down my back. “When you and father were paired together… did you ever feel anything for him?”

  Aurela’s stare morphs into something pained. “Your father was very different when he was younger. He was smart and vibrant, and I admired him very much.” Her voice is at odds with the surge of painful emotion in her eyes. “We were friends as children and often played together. Our partnership was a natural progression of that.”

  “But did you love him?” I blurt out, and feel the heat of a thousand suns on my neck.

  “I loved you,” Aurela says gently. “And Shae.”

  I understand her restraint. How can one ever love someone who is a monster? And inside, I’m just like him. He’s made sure of that.

  Aurela moves to stand in front of me as if reading my thoughts and grasps my arms. “Your father was driven by a desire to prove himself. He had no room in his life for love. You have me in you too, and we are Artok. Our choices, our lives are based on love.”

  “I’m not Artok,” I say automatically.

  “But you are.”

  I ignore the tender look on her face and the gentle fingers that slide against my cheek. I’ve never felt connected to my Artok roots. The Artok do things differently than most other people in Neospes. Although they believe in the inherent value of genetic preselection, they also believe that emotions like love are important in relationships. Maybe I felt the disconnect because my mother had left, and the only love I’d ever known was from a father whose sole goal was to make me a monster.

  “Did you love Shae’s dad?”

  Aurela’s eyes grow even sadder. “Yes.”

  Shae’s father – also Artok – was killed in the Outers when Shae was barely a year old. Shae told me the story when we were children. Her father was an atmospheric field technician who never returned from an Outer mission. His entire group was attacked by Reptiles, and everyone had survived but him. Shortly after, Aurela had been reassigned to my father.

  “Did he do it?”

  “Did who do what, Riven?” Aurela’s voice is thick, and I know that she is lost in her own memories of the love she has lost… and the daughter she’s lost.

  “My father,” I spit in disgust. “Sounds just like him, so convenient. Did he arrange to have him accidentally left alone? Did the guards do it and blame it on Reptiles?”

  “It was an accident, Riven. The transport sensors were faulty, and there was nothing anyone could do.” Her voice is calm but her words are monotone as if she’s already thought through some other explanation herself and come to the same conclusion that I’d had. “Your father would never–”

  I interrupt her. “Never what? Destroy people to get what he wants? Right.” Walking toward the door, I glance over my shoulder. Aurela is watching me carefully. “The next time we meet face to face, I’m going to be the one to destroy him; that I promise you. He will pay for what he did to you, to me, and to Shae. Now let’s go plan a war.”

  The room is deathly quiet, even though it’s full of people. I stand like a shadow in the back, watching, listening, and waiting. The hood of my jacket obscures my face so that I look like half a dozen of the other soldiers dressed in
similar uniforms in the room. Caden, too, is clad the same, with his hood covering much of his face.

  I stare at my mother, who has become this dynamic, tough-jawed person at the front of the room. She looks regal but stone cold, with eyes like slivers of ice. In a few minutes, I can see why they all defer to her. She’s incredible.

  They’ve already been over the plans and strategy, and the best way into the castle. Caden is standing to the left of me, half hidden in the darkness, and Sauer is on his left. We’re all near the doors just in case things get disruptive – Caden has to be protected at all costs. But since he insisted on being present, Aurela wanted to keep him as inconspicuous as possible. I peep around the edge of my hood and Caden catches my eye.

  “You look good in dress golds,” he whispers.

  I roll my eyes at him. “Too flashy for me.” I glance at him, wearing similar colors to mine. “You look good, too. Now shut up and pay attention. You asked to be here, remember?”

  “What do you think about what they want to do?” Caden asks under his breath, but Sauer gives us both the eye of death and we fall silent.

  Truth is, I don’t know that what they’re suggesting will work. The Winter Solstice is around the corner, and it’s one of the two times in Neospes that there are any festivities. The other is during the Summer Solstice. We celebrate Winter and Summer with Games – a combination of exhibition combat, dancing, and trading – when all the Sectors come together, even the Royals.

  For the most part, each Sector operates independently, focused on its particular role. The scientists stick with scientists, the farmers with farmers, the builders with builders. The only common threads are the soldiers who are ensconced in every single Sector. It pains me to think it, but after experiencing the freedom of the Otherworld, Neospes is little more than a police state. Soldiers are everywhere, enforcing the rules – and the will – of the monarchy.

  But even despite the fact that armed guards surround the celebrations, and more recently armed Vectors, people still love them. It gives all of the people from the different Sectors a reason to come together. They compete in friendly exhibition games like sword fighting and archery. They trade animals and goods. Parades of dancers and acrobats make their way to the castle for an all-night ball in the grand courtyard. But in spite of the revelry and the communal spirit of the Games, security is always tighter than normal.

  Which makes what Aurela is suggesting so dangerous.

  She is planning to stage simultaneous attacks – one to destroy my father’s robotics facility and engage the kill switch for all the Vectors, and two to infiltrate the castle during the ball and reveal the corruption that has corroded the once-revered monarchy. I’ve added a third step – to save Cale from any fallout.

  Caden nudges me in the side, as if reading my thoughts. “I don’t get it,” he whispers. “Why would there be an actual kill code in the facility? That’s like having a computer password written in a diary next to your bed.”

  “It’s part of robotics security. During the Tech War, we couldn’t shut them down, and the rogue droids executed the programmers who had all the kill codes. When we started developing the Vector technology, the king mandated a failsafe in case the unexpected happened again.” My mouth twists in a rueful grin. “So yes, dumb but necessary.” My grin turns wider. “Plus, it’s not like it’s going to be in a bedside diary… more like in a locked triple titanium-enforced room surrounded by around a hundred Vector guards.”

  “Oh.”

  “Shhh!” Sauer’s hiss is loud, drawing the censorious stares of two people at the end of the long table. Caden and I shut up.

  One of Aurela’s commanders is showing something on a hologram that’s hanging in the middle of the room. He’s making things move and appear with his fingers, shifting diagrams and plans to either side of the screen. His fingertips hold and drag an image from the center that explodes into a hologram of the castle blueprints across the middle of the table. I hear Caden’s audible gasp and bite back a smile. Our technology, despite the ravaged world we live in, is remarkable.

  “Pretty cool, huh?” I say to Caden under my breath with an anxious glance at Sauer.

  “It’s the same tech of the suits, just way more advanced, right?” I nod and stifle a snort at Caden’s slack-jawed expression. Luckily, Sauer doesn’t hear me and instead moves to the front of the room, where he takes charge of the presentation. As Sauer launches into an advanced schematic of the castle’s security, I find my gaze wandering again, this time around the room.

  I recognize a few soldiers, although I am unable to put names to any of the faces. I’m not surprised. Soldiers don’t have a long life expectancy in Neospes. They don’t comfortably retire. The strong survive, and the weak do not. It’s that simple. Most of the others are high-ranking officials, and they, with the exception of the four Sector heads I recognized before, likely came into power after I left in search of Caden.

  My eyes collide with a pair of steely black ones. A willowy girl at the far end of the room is watching me and making no attempt to hide that she is. At first glance, she is pretty, but then I see the scars… three long, ugly scratch marks marring her face. They are nearly white against her dark skin, and not even her thick curly hair can conceal them. The girl’s face tugs at my memory. She is dressed in camouflage gray, the color of Neospes dust, and wears the stripes of a Commander. I frown, trying to place her face in my head but the memory evades me.

  As if sensing my stare, Caden nudges me in the ribs again. “Who’s that?”

  “What?”

  “The girl over there who looks like she wants to grind you into teeny tiny pieces with her eyes alone.”

  “I don’t know,” I answer automatically before glaring at him to stay quiet.

  I’m bored by the sudden political turn of the conversation, and I’m agitated by the offensive stare of the girl I can’t quite recognize. I know I’ve seen her before, but I can’t place where. Her face with her violent scars is making me edgy. And the fact that she’s a Commander makes me crazy. I’m longing to ask Sauer, but he’s still up near where Aurela is now sitting. Instead, I sink farther into the shadow of the wall and try to ignore the girl.

  What seems like hours later, Aurela finally announces the results of the vote. It is unanimous. Her plan will proceed as indicated. I’m still not convinced that they’ll be able to infiltrate the labs and the castle, but I’m a spectator… a hired gun at this point, with no say in their martial strategy. I’m going along because any distraction they create will help me with my objective – to locate and kill my father.

  I turn to leave with Caden in tow, but Aurela’s voice halts me in my tracks.

  “General Riven will require some volunteers,” she says, waving her arm in my direction. “She’s taking point on a side assault.”

  As all eyes converge upon me, the silence in the room is even worse than in the beginning. It is heavy with a dark undercurrent. They don’t trust me, not because of what I am – no one really knows the truth other than a few – but because of who I am… my reputation.

  “General Riven?” someone hisses. “We can’t trust her.”

  “Where has she been all this time? How convenient that she’s back.”

  The noise in the room escalates as pandemonium erupts. The dark-eyed girl is watching me with a smirk. My mouth curls down, and it’s all I can do to tear my eyes away.

  “Silence, please.” Aurela’s voice is quiet, but the voices recede. “Our plans do not stop at removing Murek or exposing his endgame to the people of Neospes. It also extends to reinstating the true crown prince alongside his brother.” The murmurs in the room rise again and once more regress at Aurela’s hand. “That is where General Riven has been, protecting said prince in the Otherworld.”

  “The Otherworld!” someone else gasps.

  “Still, she’s the General,” a voice argues. “Loyal to the false prince. We know who she is.”

  “Yes, she is the Gener
al,” Aurela agrees mildly. “And no, she is bound to us and to Prince Caden. I trust her, and that should be enough.”

  I feel Caden squirm next to me, at odds with all the sudden attention. But my mind is whirling at the fact that my mother and leader of the rebels has openly supported me – stating that anyone who doesn’t accept me does not accept her. I’m at a loss for words, breath even, at her complete and utter trust.

  For a brief second, I wonder whether that trust in me is misplaced.

  And in that same moment, I realize who the dark-eyed girl is. She’s been someone I trusted. Once upon a time, I would have considered her a loyal teammate. But when she went against orders with a group of insurgents led by her brother, the King called for swift justice.

  I know exactly who she is. She’s a Commander I exiled to the Outers four years ago; she is the single broken line tattooed on my neck.

  And now she is one of us.

  FATHER DEAREST

  Despite the fact that Loren, the soldier I’d exiled, was one of the volunteers, oddly enough, to be on my team, things were on track with Aurela’s wishes. I was suspicious the minute Loren voiced her desire to come with me – she obviously had a bone to pick. After all, I executed her brother and exiled her.

  But at the end of the day, I know that it doesn’t matter. I don’t trust anyone, and no one here trusts me either, for good reason. I’d been the worst of the worst, and a part of me is still that person. I was programmed to be emotionless, to obey orders, to kill without question. And because of the nanoplasm, I’m faster and fiercer than anyone else. I’m death in a girl’s body.