“Well, we’d been dating, but we weren’t official or anything yet,” Jaren said, trying to talk reason into me.
“Yeah, well…I wasn’t dating anyone else, and neither were you until Tiffany decided no one else could have you,” I said, raising my voice and getting out of the car. Jaren got out as well.
I marched toward him. “And what was all that talk the other night about asking if there were any guys you had to worry about taking me away from you?” Fury boiled within me.
“I meant it. I don’t want to lose you,” Jaren said.
I started to cry because I was hurt, and he sounded sincere.
“I never told you that you couldn’t date anyone else, and I never told you that I wouldn’t, either. But that is what I’m trying to do now, if you’ll have me,” Jaren pleaded. He grabbed my hands and brought them to his chest like he hurt, too.
I slid my hands away and looked him in the eyes for emphasis.
“I don’t know. I’m pretty ticked off right now. The only thing that changes with official is that I get to change my relationship status on Facebook to ‘in a relationship.’ So…just take me home,” I said, turning toward the car and getting in. I didn’t want him to see how much pain I was in. I also didn’t want to have to see his pleading eyes, either.
Jaren stood outside for a moment, stunned that this conversation didn’t go as he had thought it would. He got in the car and turned it around, heading toward my house.
“I know this is terrible timing, but I think I’m falling in love with you,” he confessed when we were stopped at a light.
I put my hands up to my face because there was no way I could hold back the tears. The hardest part was that I felt like I loved him, too, and he had just tarnished it.
* * *
As soon as I shut the front door behind me and heard the Mustang drive away, I lost all control and the sobbing took over. I slid down the door, hurt and confused. I had never felt this strong for a guy before, so I had never been hurt in quite this way.
I went back and forth from believing Jaren was genuinely falling for me, to believing that he couldn’t be sure about anything at all if he kissed Tiffany yesterday and confessed his love for me today. I feared I should have told him how strongly I felt about him when I had the chance, and because I didn’t, he was going to run back to Tiffany to take her up on her evil offer.
I wasn’t doing any good for myself by going back and forth, so I called Kaitlynn.
“Is everything okay?” Kaitlynn asked. I could hear her concern and love for me in that one question.
“I’m not really sure. Do you think you could come over? I think I need my best friend right now,” I sniffled.
“I’m on my way. Do you want me to stop and get some double chunk chocolate ice cream?” She knew the keys to comfort oh so well.
“Please.” My lip quivered.
As soon as Kaitlynn arrived, I started to feel better about everything. She had a way of soothing me when I went in freak-out mode.
“The reason why you’re so hurt is because you care about him and want to be with him, right?” Kaitlynn asked. She brushed aside some of the mess my hair had become.
“Yeah,” I said.
“And he said he didn’t want Tiffany, but that he wanted to be with you, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So, be with him,” she said simply. She had a point. I couldn’t change the past. I didn’t like what happened, but I couldn’t do anything about it. My choices were to either be with Jaren, or not be with Jaren. Even after everything that had happened, I honestly still wanted to be with him.
Kaitlynn and I made plans for her to spend the night at my house. As we got ready for bed, I texted Jaren to tell him I would pick him up tomorrow so we could talk. He texted me back right away saying he was sorry for hurting me, and he was glad he’d get to see me tomorrow.
“I would say it’s a good sign he texted back so soon. I think he’s been waiting around to hear from you,” Kaitlynn said, fluffing her pillow and throwing back her end of the covers. She climbed in, then turned off the table lamp.
I was exhausted from all of the crying, but I felt like things were set right again. Before I passed out for the night, I had the most satisfying thought: Tiffany didn’t get the guy.
I guess I had gotten my sweet revenge after all. She wouldn’t be made a fool in front of the whole school like I would’ve been, but I knew and she knew that she had made her move to get Jaren back, or her sloppy seconds, as she’d called him, and she’d failed. I snuggled deeper into the blankets with a victorious smile on my face.
8
His Mouth Was Warm
Kaitlynn and I got up at ten o’clock to get showered and dressed for the day. She and David had plans and she told me to call her if Jaren and I wanted to hang out with them.
She followed me into the living room where we found my mom. My mom didn’t show houses on Sundays so here she was, wiping down the blinds.
My eyes had been red and swollen when my mom came home last night, so I ended up telling her about Tiffany trying to get Jaren back. I didn’t tell her about the part where they kissed, though. Even at that, she was concerned with how hard I’d fallen for Jaren.
“I’m going to meet up with Jaren to discuss some things,” I told my mom. She knew how much this meant to me, so I hoped she wouldn’t try to stop me.
“What time will you be home?” she asked.
“I’ll only be gone an hour. Two at the most.”
“All right,” she said. “Call me to check in after an hour.”
“’Kay.” I was willing to call her every fifteen minutes if she’d let me go.
I followed Kaitlynn out to her car. “Thanks for everything, bestie,” I said, giving her a tight squeeze that lifted her off the ground a little.
“I’m glad you’re back to your giddy self again,” Kaitlynn laughed, dropping back to the ground. She grabbed her keys out of her purse and got in her Jeep.
My boots crunched the leaves into the gravel drive as I hustled over to my car.
“Call me later,” Kaitlynn hollered out of her window as she drove away.
Jaren was waiting for me in his driveway when I pulled up. He made a motion of driving an invisible steering wheel, asking me if he could drive. I laughed and put the car in park.
I stepped out into the crisp, cold morning, and we walked to meet each other. I smiled up at him. I could see the relief on his face that we were on good terms again. My eyes dropped to his chest.
I placed my hand over his heart. His body’s heat seeped into my palm. “The reason I was hurt so badly by the Tiffany thing is because I care a lot about you.” I looked into his blue eyes. “That is also why I texted you and want to continue to see you. I want to be with you and you to be with just me,” I said, a little scared he might have changed his mind after all.
“I want the same.” Jaren grinned wider. His hand grazed my cheek. The delicate touch drew tendrils of warmth through my arms and into my gut. He studied me with his eyes and then focused on my lips as if he wanted to kiss me, but his eyes lingered.
He finally gave in by brushing his lips against mine. I smelled his fresh breath before I tasted it. His lips started out cold, but his mouth was warm. Our tongues welcomed each other, and I knew I had done the right thing by forgiving him. I would probably still hurt for a while over this, but I was willing to move forward with him now.
“It’s a good thing, too,” Jaren said, pulling away from me. “I’d already made plans for us on Thursday.”
“Right,” I said. Crap. I almost forgot his birthday with all of this Tiffany drama. “You already made all the plans?” That was fast.
“Yes. Now, if my girlfriend would kindly get in the car, we could get on with our date.”
“Hey, if my boyfriend would stop putting moves on me, I would.”
Jaren laughed, and I allowed myself to smile. Both of us were elated to be together.
�
��Now,” Jaren said, starting the car and turning around in the driveway, “what would you like to do today?”
“Well, I was thinking yesterday, as we drove up Highway 60, that I wished we were driving up there under better circumstances.”
“It is really amazing up there,” Jaren agreed. He turned onto Beech Street and followed it until he turned onto the highway. He put his hand in the center console, palm up, and looked at my hand, then his. “Huh? Huh?” he winked. I laughed and placed my hand in his. We drove in silence for a few minutes, breathing in the energized air between us.
Jaren pulled the car off to the side of the road and parked. He came around to my door. “I thought we were going for a drive?” I asked, getting out.
“I have a better idea,” he smiled. His voice vibrated with excitement. We entered through the trees, and Jaren found a trail that he must have known was there in order to find it so quick.
“Wow! This is beautiful,” I said, stepping over a large rock and onto the trail. The trees flattered the trail with leaves of crimson, burnt orange, and citrine. Japanese ivy climbed in and out of limbs, covering the branches with violet. The sun filtered through, its rays highlighting rocks and fallen mossy logs.
“This isn’t even the best part,” Jaren said, building my anticipation. He held my hand as we walked along the trail. I squeezed his, then he squeezed mine, and we laughed.
We turned around a sharp bend and what my eyes beheld sucked the breath out of me. Water glistened as it tumbled from a small waterfall into a pond surrounded by smaller trees and blankets of ivy. The pond flowed into a shallow river that twisted in and out of the trees, to be forgotten beyond this spot of paradise.
“This is amazing! How did you find it?” I let go of his hand to wander closer to the pond and twirled around in an overload of titillated senses.
“My dad and I used to come fishing here before the divorce. I’ve never brought anybody here. Before you, that is.”
I dropped my eyes from the brilliance of this place and focused on the sincerity in Jaren’s. The fact that he brought me to such a special spot, one that held only the best memories for him, swelled something warm and delicate within my heart.
I stepped away from the pond and took the few paces needed to touch my toes to Jaren’s. My eyes held his for fear that breaking contact would evaporate this feeling that caressed my soul.
Jaren touched my face, and I nuzzled my cheek against the delicate cradle of his palm. “I meant what I said yesterday. I love you, Brooke.” I didn’t think the warmth within me could burrow its roots any deeper, but that’s what happened.
“I love you,” I whispered.
Jaren crushed his lips to mine. I felt connected to him in a way that I had only read about. I finally felt what true love meant. I let it embrace me, and I could understand why it was powerful enough to start wars and destroy lives. It was something worth fighting for and something that you didn’t realize you would miss as deeply or as painfully as you could until it was there and you couldn’t bear to be without it.
* * *
I woke to Jaren’s ring tone. I squinted up at the clock, surprised he was calling me at six thirty in the morning.
“Happy birthday,” I said, hoping I was the first one to wish him a happy eighteenth.
“Thanks,” Jaren whispered. Uh-oh. He didn’t sound excited about it.
“Hey, what’s going on?” I asked, sitting up in bed, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.
“My dad left for a business trip. When he woke me up this morning, I allowed myself to believe it was to wish me a happy birthday before he left.” I could hear the bitterness in his voice.
“Oh, no. What did he say?” I knew it had to be really bad for him to not wait until we were at school to tell me.
“He told me I had until the end of the weekend to find my own place, and then threw a couple thousand dollars down on my bed. He kicked me out. On my birthday!”
“Man. I’m so sorry.” I ached for him. “That was a really evil thing for him to do, but we’ll go after school and look at some apartments. At least he gave you some money to help you get started, right?”
“No. He gave me the money so he wouldn’t look like a complete jerk,” Jaren said, voice shaking. I’d never heard him like this. I knew his dad was cold, but I never thought he could be this mean and heartless.
I tried to stay optimistic for Jaren’s sake. “Regardless of why, you do have the money, and you’ll need it to get a place. If you want, we can skip school to start looking this morning.”
“Yeah, I want to get out of here as soon as I can. He obviously doesn’t want me living here. I tried so hard to stay out of his way, too. I never asked him for money or anything.” He sounded vexed.
“’Kay, let me shower. I’ll come pick you up, and then we’ll make some calls.” This was going to be a rough day for Jaren. He was already sensitive about his dad, and this was only going to make it worse. I couldn’t understand how a father could do that to his own son.
“Thanks. It means a lot to me that you’re here for me like this.” Jaren’s sincerity broke my heart.
“Of course I’m here for you. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
* * *
When I pulled into Jaren’s driveway, he was sprawled out on the lawn with a vase of pink lilies propped up against him. He saw me and dragged himself up with a grim twist to his mouth. He walked over to get in the passenger side. He really was in a bad mood if he didn’t want to drive. He always wanted to drive. That was another thing about his dad. He had the means to buy Jaren a car as owner one of the manufacturing plants in town. But he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t give Jaren any spending money, either. That was why Jaren worked after school instead of joining another sports team.
“Are you okay? And what are the flowers for?” I asked, grabbing his hand. I had to wiggle my fingers against the tight fist he must have been holding since his dad dropped the bomb. Jaren’s hand relaxed, as did some of the anger on his face.
He handed me the vase with his other hand. “I got these for you as part of the plan for today, I didn’t want to leave them here. They’re yours and you should have them.”
Lilies were my favorite flowers. “Aww, thanks. I’m so sorry your dad did this to you.”
Jaren looked at me with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I wanted to break everything in the house as a little reminder that he could’ve had it so much worse.”
“You didn’t though, did you?” His dad was the type of man who would call the sheriff and demand charges be brought against him. His own son.
“No, but it felt good to imagine it.” Now the smile reached his eyes, but it was a bitter one devoid of happiness.
I gave the vase back and turned the car around to get us out of there before Jaren decided property damage was indeed appropriate. “I figured we could go back to my house to find some places that are renting, and then we could go check some of ’em out.”
“That works,” Jaren said. “It sucks I’ll probably have to use some of my college money for things that are not for college.”
“I thought you were getting a scholarship?” Jaren was supposed to play lacrosse for William and Lee University next season.
“I did, but it doesn’t cover housing or books.”
“Well, I’m sure it’ll all work out.” I had to believe it would. Jaren deserved so much more than his dad had given him.
I pulled into my driveway and shut the car off. I was glad my mom was already gone. I didn’t want her hovering the whole time. Plus, she wouldn’t be too happy that I was missing school, either.
I set the vase of lilies on the counter and turned on my laptop. “Do you want anything to eat or drink?” I asked Jaren.
“Nah, I’m not really hungry, but I’ll take a Coke if you have one?” I handed him his drink and opened my Web browser. I searched for places to rent in Buena Vista.
“What about this one?” It was clos
e to his work and it was the same price as an apartment, but it was a quaint little duplex.
“I could probably swing that,” Jaren said with some interest.
He pulled out his phone and called Trish, the lady listed as the contact. “Hello, Trish? This is Jaren Matthews. Would it be possible for me to look at your duplex on Iring?” There was a pause as Trish responded. “That works. We’ll be there at ten.”
We found a couple of other places that Jaren could “swing” and then set out on a mission to find him a new place to live.
The first apartment we looked at was in his price range, but it reeked of stale cat urine. We didn’t have to go very far into that place to know it was a dud.
We drove to Trish’s duplex next. The house rested on a well-manicured yard with red and violet Japanese ivy climbing up the planks of gray siding.
Trish, a sweet, middle-aged woman with back problems said she hired out the yard care to the Taylor boys. “I’ll give you a discount on the rent if you do the yard yourself,” Trish said, unlocking the front door. “Mr. Brackens next door is too old for any kind of yard work, and his eyes and hearing are shot.”
We were welcomed inside to a brightly lit yellow room. Light streamed in from the curtains to flutter against the back wall. The place looked dated with the wallpaper and the yellow Formica counter tops in the kitchen, but at least the house had been updated as recently as the ’80s. The floors creaked underfoot, but they looked clean and well maintained.
The bedroom had been updated most recently. The wallpaper was gone, replaced by a fresh coat of eggshell paint. New, plush carpet had been laid and the soft brown tones complemented the paint. It felt cozy in here.
“I like it,” I said to Jaren. I could tell he liked it, too, by the way he kept opening up the drawers and closets.
“You know, I think this is the one.” Jaren showed the first sign of a true smile all day.
9
Catalyst
Kaitlynn, David, Jaren, and I had been moving Jaren into his new place all weekend. David couldn’t get over how cool it was that Jaren had his own bachelor pad, and I think some of his excitement rubbed off on Jaren.
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