“It’s normal to be nervous. Do you know where he’s taking you?”
“Yeah, the restaurant is called La Matrix d sover?”
I bit back a laugh. “La Maître de saveur?”
Megan’s eyes widened. “Yeah, that place.”
Not able to help it the second time around, I burst into a laugh. “It’s French for ‘The Master of Flavor.’ It’s a very nice restaurant.” I was beyond impressed with Jeremy. He never took a date to an elaborate place. That was a definite sign that he appreciated and respected Megan.
Megan clapped her hands excitedly and jumped in place as her long light brown waves bounced along with her. “Oh, I’m so excited. So you know what’s appropriate to wear for this restaurant?”
“Oh yeah, come on, we are off to search for the perfect cocktail dress.” I winked.
***
Several hours later, we found the perfect dress for Megan’s date. We went our separate ways as I went home and she went to her place, well, the place that she shared with my mother. Sara had come a long way since the day she waltzed back into my life. Our mother-daughter relationship wasn’t perfect, but we were working on it. We had made it a priority to meet up once a week, despite our busy schedules. Tomorrow, we had plans for dinner.
In the meantime, Marcus was coming over that night, so I had to prepare for our evening. It was our fourth date night. An entire week had passed since we made up. As much as I would have loved to have spent every single day with him, our hectic schedules just didn’t allow it, unless we had been living together, and that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. After a long, exhausting week for the both of us, we decided to stay in and watch movies.
I had set up the living room so that we could have an indoor picnic, with an oversized blanket and pillows spread across the floor, along with all the junk food known to man. As I stared down at my grand attempt to romanticize a regular night at home, a hint of disappointment ran through me. I hadn’t exercised in weeks, and all the junk food and late night take-outs were beginning to show—on my ass and hips. Tomorrow, I thought to myself. Tomorrow I’ll begin working out again.
“So, what do you think?”
I swirled around, and my earlier concerns about my rapidly increasing weight vanished. Jeremy looked positively handsome in a black suit, light grey shirt, and matching silk tie. His curly blond hair was well kept and blue sparkly eyes glistened.
“I take it by the huge smile on your face that you like what you see?” He raised a brow.
“Jeremy, you look amazing!” I stared at him in awe for a few seconds before padding my way toward him. Resting my hands along his chest, I ran them across his suit jacket. For some reason, I wanted to make sure every single crease or wrinkle was smoothed perfectly. I felt like a proud mom, which was an odd thought. I loved that he and Megan were becoming closer, though I hadn’t had the chance to discuss their relationship with him. “Jeremy?”
“Yes?” He whispered.
As I adjusted his tie, I quickly glimpsed up at him. He was staring down at me with a slight grin. His aqua blue eyes sparkled with humor. Nerves pricked through me, and I began to fiddle with the tie. I brought my focus back down to my fingers. Wetting my lips, I cleared my throat. “So, you and I really haven’t had time to talk.”
He shrugged. “Talk about what?”
Letting out a soft sigh, I pressed my hands along his shoulders. “Well . . . about you and Megan.” I looked up. His expression grew serious. “We don’t have to talk now. . .” I quickly added.
“What do you want to know?”
“How are you feeling? What are your intentions? Are you taking this seriously?” I blurted all out at once. His lips twitched aside. “Look. You’re my best friend, Jeremy. Hell, I see you as more of a brother than a friend. Megan’s my cousin. I just want to make sure that neither one of you gets hurt. I’ve never interfered with your relationships unless I was asked, but I feel as if I need to know what’s going on between the two of you, for my sanity.” I laughed once.
Jeremy slightly bent his head back and exhaled deeply. “It’s hard to explain what I’m feeling.” He looked back at me and pressed his lips as his brows kneaded together in confusion. “When I’m around Megan, I’m happy and nervous, both at the same time. Does that make sense?”
Nodding with a knowing smile, I said, “Perfect sense.”
“Yeah?” He shook his head with a rugged moan. “It’s confusing. I feel like I have to be around her all the time, and when I’m not, I think about her constantly. In the beginning, I tried to go on dates with other girls, to take away the thoughts I had of Megan. Though, every time I was on a date, I began nitpicking every little detail in my head of why that particular girl wasn’t right for me.”
“Like no elbow room?”
“Exactly, and because of you and how close we are, I didn’t want to ruin our relationship if I turned into my usual dickhead self. These feelings are new to me, Mia. I just don’t want to let her or you down.”
“Jeremy, you could never let Megan or me down. Just be your usual dickhead self, minus the prowling, and you’ll be just fine.”
His laugh echoed the room, causing me to burst into a hard laugh right along with him. “Alright, enough of this mushy, girly shit.” He pushed back, spreading his arms wide, with brows molded together. “You sure I look alright?”
“You look awesome. If I know Megan well enough, I would say she’ll probably skip dinner and go straight for the car sex.” I winked.
He laughed again, kissed my forehead, and left without another word. Sighing in contentment, I turned on my heels and headed toward my bedroom.
***
An hour after Jeremy left, I showered, brushed my teeth, and combed my hair into a ponytail. There was no need to doll up, so I threw on a pair of black leggings and my favorite University sweatshirt. Since Marcus was bringing the movies, I placed an order for pizza and wings. As I poured a glass of wine, the doorbell rang.
Perfect timing.
After swinging the door open, my smile faded as I saw the troubled expression on Marcus’s face. He shrugged his shoulders slightly, mouthed “sorry” as he tilted his head, directing my eyes downward. Elle was standing in front of him with a backpack in her hand.
“Hi, Mia!” Elle chirped.
With a smile, I bent my knees so that we were at eye level and pulled her in for a hug. “Elle, I’m so happy you’re here.”
Her lips curled into a huge grin, and then she ran into the apartment. Marcus followed in behind her. Leaning in, he landed a kiss on my forehead. “I’m sorry, babe.” He whispered. “Jimmie had a date and I—”
“Whoa, Jimmie’s on a date?”
“Yeah, he met someone at Elle’s school. Her son and Elle are in the same class. They’ve been spending quite a bit of time together. Elle doesn’t know. Jimmie doesn’t want her to know just yet.”
“Oh my God, that’s amazing that he’s dating. I’m happy for him.”
Elle ran up to us and pulled on Marcus’s jacket. “Uncle Marc, show Mia the movies we got.”
With a light groan, Marcus’s eyes widened. “Ah, yes, the movies.” The three of us walked to the living room and sank down onto the quilt. He pulled each one out of the bag. “You have a choice of three: The Little Mermaid, The Lion King, and Beauty and the Beast.” Marcus raised his brows mockingly as he held all three in both hands.
Elle glanced at me with an expression as if it were a very difficult decision to make. “So which one would you like to see, Mia?”
I pursed my lips to try and hold back my laughter as I looked over the selections in Marcus’s hand. “Well, I love all three, but if I have to choose only one, my favorite is Beauty and the Beast.”
Elle nodded. “Good choice, that’s my favorite too.” Tilting her head, she faced Marcus. “Well, Uncle Marc, Beauty and the Beast it is.”
Marcus deeply sighed as he stood and headed toward the flat screen. He placed the movie into the Bl
ue-ray player and pressed play. The previews began. “Marcus, would you like anything to drink?” I asked.
“You have anything strong?”
Laughing, I stood. “I have wine.” He nodded his head and then looked over at Elle. “Elle, would you like something to drink?”
“What do you have?” she asked, looking at me.
“Grape juice?”
“Sure!”
Smiling at her, I added, “Anything else?”
Her eyes scanned over the junk food. “Do you have any fruits or veggies?” Where was this little girl from? Planet thirteen going on thirty?
Marcus cocked a brow, “Elle, you know better than—”
“No, it’s fine, seriously. I do have fruits and veggies. I’ll bring them right over, Elle.” She smiled at me widely and then turned her head back toward the flat screen.
I made my way toward the kitchen and into the fridge. Marcus followed behind me. He grabbed a glass and filled it with wine. I smirked at him as I began to chop up and prepare some produce for Elle.
Leaning back against the counter, he studied me. “You find all of this amusing, don’t you?”
“You have to agree it’s hilarious.” I winked.
Marcus took a gulp of wine and then made his way to me. Nestling behind me, he wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder. “I’ve missed you,” he whispered in my ear, following with feather-like kisses along the nape of my neck.
“I’ve missed you too.”
He remained in that position as he gently swayed our hips from side to side, humming to a soft beat. I continued to chop an apple, smiling and laughing under his embrace. “I’m sorry about tonight, Mia. I know it was supposed to be just the two of us. I’ll make it up to you.”
Baffled, I stopped what I was doing and turned in his arms to face him. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I ran my fingertips through the back of his hair. “Marcus, don’t ever feel sorry about bringing Elle. I love and enjoy being around her.”
Marcus leaned down and placed a kiss on the tip of my nose. “That’s one of the reasons why I love you so much.”
“Because I accept your family? Of course I do.”
“That, and because I know one day you’re going to make an amazing mother.” He reached down and planted a kiss on my lips. Those words caught me off guard. An amazing mother? Marcus and I hadn’t discussed the loss of our baby since that day in the parking lot—the day I told him about the miscarriage. Hearing him say I would make an amazing mother hit me hard. “Are you okay?”
Blinking, I focused on him again. “Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m fine.” I turned and continued prepping Elle’s healthy tray, and then we made our way back into the living room.
***
“Marcus, Elle fell asleep. Maybe you should lay her down in my bedroom. We can sleep out here.” Marcus nodded, grabbed Elle, and carried her off into my room.
We had watched two of the three movies, much to Marcus’s displeasure. As the screen played, my mind drifted off into another direction during the movie. I was there physically, sitting beside Marcus as his arm was draped around my shoulder. I even nodded a few times when Elle made a comment about a character and laughed when she did. Still, mentally my mind was engaged with thoughts that Marcus had brought back to life.
Of course, I hadn’t forgotten about the miscarriage. It was a subject that I had learned to tuck away in the back of my mind and no longer think about it: an out-of-sight, out-of-mind type of ordeal. When it had been brought back to surface, it felt as if I had been smacked head first into a concrete wall—a throbbing pain that was so brutal I couldn’t recover from it.
The miscarriage was not the only memory that flashed through my mind throughout the night. I thought about everything that had happened prior to and following the miscarriage, about the way my life had evolved within a few short months of knowing Marcus, and how a brief random meeting at Club21 started it all. If I had met him at his office instead, would we have still fallen in love? Would we have followed the same exact path that led us to where we are now? Would we have suffered with the constant arguments, the lies, the betrayal, and the heart-aching memories of losing one another? Would it all have been the same?
My mind ran back through how it had all played out: finding the file in his office with the information about my brother, the miscarriage, and the pain and confusion I dealt with for weeks from loving someone who I hated at the same time. I hated that I fell madly in love with him so quickly and when I wanted to be angry with him I couldn’t because he had a power over me that no one ever had.
You can’t help who you fall in love with. Yet I had fallen in love with a man that most women would run away from. Even after finding out about it all—his lifestyle, his involvement with the mafia, his knowledge of my brother’s death, and the constant lies—I fell in love with this man who had turned my world upside down in such a short period of time. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stay away, and I would never walk away again.
“Mia, come here.” Slightly turning my head, I stared at Marcus sitting on the sofa. I hadn’t heard him walk back into the room. Absentmindedly I stood, making my way toward him as the vision of him became a blur. The tears building up in my eyes forced me back to reality. I desperately tried to fight them from running down my face. I strained, held my breath, hell, I even focused on the collar of Marcus’s shirt, but it all failed. By the time I reached him, the tears wouldn’t stop.
Marcus pulled me in to sit on his lap. I positioned myself so that I was straddling him. With my head lowered, I fidgeted with my fingers. Tilting his head aside, he ducked under so that he could get a better look at me. I chanced a quick glance his way. Marcus had a worried look in his eyes, “Baby, what’s wrong?” he whispered.
“Nothing.” My throat was low and hoarse.
With the tip of his fingers, he lifted my chin to fully look at him. “Mia, why are you crying? Simba didn’t kill his father. It was his evil Uncle Scar who did.”
Laughing once, I nudged his shoulder and sniffed a few times. “I’m not crying about the movie.”
“So if you’re not crying about the movie, it has to be about something else. Tell me. What’s wrong?”
Letting out a shaky breath, I pressed my lips together before responding, “I was thinking about the last four months.” Shaking my head, I looked at him. “All of it, Marcus: my brother, our baby, and us. I thought I could lock it away in my head and not think of it again, but it’s easier said than done.”
“What are you saying exactly? Are you having doubts about us?” His eyes searched my face, trying to find meaning behind it all.
“No, I’m not at all. What you said in the kitchen about me making an amazing mother hit me hard. It brought me right back to the miscarriage, and all the pain resurfaced again. Then I began thinking about everything else, and my mind just . . .” I waved my hands in circular motions, trying to find the right words.
He grabbed my face, and with an unreadable expression, he stared at me for quite some time. “You will make an amazing mother one day. You will have a beautiful baby boy or girl that will love you and look at you as if you’re the most perfect person in the world. I know that losing our baby left a scar that you feel may never be healed, but it will, Mia. Trust me. One day you will have a child, and I hope and pray that you have that child with me.”
Swallowing the large lump in my throat, I sniffed, “You still want to have children in the future?”
Shock registered in his expression. “You’re my life, and I wouldn’t dream of a life without you being my wife and having my kids.”
“I love you, Marcus. I really do, but I don’t think . . .”
“Mia, I get it.” He caressed his thumbs along my cheeks. “You deserve better than me. I put you through so much.”
“Marcus, you’re perfect for me in every way imaginable.”
Breathing out a smile with no sign of humor, he said, “That’s crazy talk.
”
Shaken by his response, I reached for his face to get his full attention. “No, it’s not.” Leaning my forehead against his, I whispered, “Before you, my life was filled with loneliness. I struggled each day to get by. I wasn’t happy. So as crazy as this may sound to you,” I lightly shrugged, “it’s not to me. I’m completely in love with you, Marcus. Ever since I met you, I’ve found a purpose in my life that makes each day worth living.”
There was a whirlpool of emotions clouding his eyes: love, lust, pain, and desire. Gripping the back of my head, he pulled me in, crushing his lips against mine. There was so much passion behind that kiss. All of the love we had for each other poured into one magical kiss that left us breathing heavily. Our tongues twirled in soft circular motions as his hands gripped my face to pull me in closer. My arms wrapped around his neck as my fingers gripped his hair. That was the first night that we ever showed our affection for one another without the urgency of sex. He kissed and held me, allowing me to pour out all my love for him in one simple kiss.
That was the night I remembered why I fell in love with Marcus in the first place.
CHAPTER SEVEN
MARCUS
As I walked into the office, I was greeted by Stacy, the receptionist at the firm. After handing me messages from this morning, she tilted her blond head and examined me. I flipped through the messages and felt her continued heated stare. Raising a brow, I asked, “Anything else?”
“No.” Tilting her head to the opposite side, she added, “You just look different.”
“It’s probably my haircut.”
“Yes, that might be it. It looks good.”
“Thanks.” I made a move for my office until I remembered something. “Is Ms. Grant in this week?”
“I’m afraid not. She’s still not feeling well after her surgery. There was a voice message from her over the weekend that she’ll need another week.”
Shit. I had a major trial the next week. Ms. Grant had been working closely with me on this case. There was so much to wrap-up before the jury selection began on Monday. The only co-worker other than Ms. Grant that had worked closely with me on that case was Stephanie.
Cautious (Sequel to Disastrous) Page 6
