by M. Sembera
Tapping on Braden's door, Liv waited for him to answer.
The door cracked open but only a few inches as he questioned, "What?"
"You busy?"
"What do you want?"
Fighting the urge to snap at him, Liv asked, "Can I come in?"
Opening the door a little more Braden repeated, "What do you want?"
"I didn't turn you away. I wanted to be alone."
Flashing a sarcastic smile, Braden said, "Oh, well I'm not telling you you can't come in," then shut the door in her face.
Blowing out a loud breath, she thought, 'gah, he's such a girl sometimes'.
Staring at his door, Liv asked herself why she was there. Why did she even care if he was mad at her? All of this was his fault anyway. He was the reason she bailed from her house in only her pajamas yesterday. The reason she told Pat no, for the twentieth time. He was who she was trying to drink off her mind, and why she wanted to be alone last night.
She could feel the buildup. It had been happening for some time now. There was hope that it wouldn't but deep down Liv knew it would eventually. Seeing him every day just happened to usher in the inevitable along a bit quicker. It didn't matter if she could blame him or not, everything changes.
As she thought about kicking his door before turning and walking away, it opened.
"You wanna ride with me to get somethin' to eat?"
Nodding, she stepped into his apartment.
"You need to learn how to pick up after yourself." Liv teased as she walked into his living room.
"Feel free to start tidying up if it bothers you."
Shooting him a dirty look, she snapped, "I get that you're mad, okay."
Mad seem like an understatement as Braden turned and looked down at her.
"You do? You get that I'm mad?"
Taking a step back, she assured, "Don't get loud with me, punk."
He took a step towards her.
"Don't get loud with you?"
Giving him a little shove, Liv spouted, "Do you have anything real to say or are you just going to keep repeating me?"
"You want me to say something real?"
Liv couldn't help finding humor in how absurd their argument was.
She was starting to wonder if he even knew why he was mad at her or if he just felt he should be because she asked him to leave. Before she could say anything her cell vibrated in her pocket loud enough for both of them to hear.
"Is that Pat?" Braden griped at her.
"How the hell am I supposed to know?" Liv replied before taunting, "I'm starting to think you have a thing for him."
Narrowing his eyes at her, he questioned, "You don't even care what kind of a person he is, do you?"
"No, I really don't," she snapped back, frustrated and honestly done with the argument.
"You'll just give it up to anybody then?"
Insulted she looked him up and down, spouting, "Clearly."
"So this is you punishing me for something I didn't know until a few days ago?"
"I'm not punishing you for anything."
"But you'll go to someone like him for that when I'm right here."
Almost choking on her words, Liv spit out, "Wait! What?"
The air between them felt thin as his statement soaked in. It didn't matter that he was the one who said it, Braden seemed just as caught off guard as she was.
Nervous curiosity swelled inside her as she stood there waiting to see what would happen next. Was he going to apologize? Would he be a man about it and make a move? Or was he just going to stand there and stare at her?
When it was obvious he had nothing else to say, Liv swallowed hard and said, "I'm gonna go."
"Okay."
"See you in the morning?" she questioned, turning to open the door.
"Okay."
Walking out of Braden's apartment, Liv thought 'what the hell just happened' before accepting a comforting, yet disappointing, realization. Nothing. Nothing happened.
M13H
On the way out to Liv's, Braden thought of different ways to ask her out. That's what Charlotte had advised in the first place and definitely what he should have done instead of suggesting she have meaningless sex with him. Not that it would be meaningful, but it could be. Maybe. That was beside the point. He knew how he felt about her, but had no idea what that meant if they started dating or went on a date. Just one date, he reminded himself, to stop getting carried away. Damn, if he didn't get a handle on himself, there's no telling what would come out of his mouth this time.
Pulling the extra key out of the cement boots by the door when she didn't answer, Braden concentrated on what he was going to say while forcing back the look she had on her face when he all but propositioned her. At first he thought 'she's going to knock my ass out' then as he watched her expression, she seemed...interested, hopeful, ready to get naked? But instead of giving her look the attention it deserved, he stood there saying 'okay' like a frickin' dumbass.
Liv wasn't in the living room, giving him one last chance to psych himself up and ask her out. With a deep breath, he called her name thinking, it couldn't go any worse than yesterday.
~
"Hey!" Liv heard Braden holler, instantly sending a nervous feeling into the pit of her stomach.
"In my room!"
Instead of waiting in the kitchen like she thought he would, his voice was right outside her door.
"You wanna go out?"
Freezing in place, she questioned, "Like to the bar?"
"No, on a date."
Stepping closer to her door, she asked, "Why?"
It took him a minute to reply, "Why not?"
"Where?"
"We could go to Fairmont's on the lake."
Blinded by outrage, Liv disregarded the fact that she was only wearing a white wife-beater undershirt, red and white boy cut underwear with red and white tube socks as she flung her door open.
He immediately started backing up as she questioned, "Why would you suggest Fairmont's?"
Braden's expression as he retreated to the living room was all the confirmation she needed.
Making her way over, she shoved her finger in his face and fussed, "You went through my stuff."
"Yeah, I did."
"Didn't I tell you not to?" she asked, planting her palms firmly against his chest before shoving him back.
Falling back onto the couch, he looked up at Liv, saying, "I wanted to know more about the girl that was crushing on me, coming to every party just because I was there. The girl that gave it up to me without a second thought, the one that wrote poems and love songs about me."
Glancing up at the ceiling to take a deep breath, she blew it out as she looked down at him, assuring, "That girl's long gone just like the boy she thought she was in love with."
"I want the woman that's standing in front of me."
Shocked at how upfront he was being, Liv blurted, "Ha! You want me?"
Braden's expression grew serious as he nodded at her.
Liv's anger over his violation of her privacy turned into a curious need to see how far he was willing to take this. After all, he went from lets go to dinner to I want you far too quickly, causing her to wonder if he even meant what he was saying.
Stepping between his legs, she pressed her hands against him, pushing his shoulders back and leaning over him questioning, "Why do you want me?"
Inches from her face, he whispered, "I don't know."
His answer was just as disappointing as the fact that his hands were holding on to the sides of his own shorts and he wasn't even trying to touch her.
Aching to prove a point with him, she held onto his shoulders and slid onto his lap. Her knees forced his hands away from his shorts but instead of resting them on her thighs, he pressed his palms into the couch cushions.
"You do want me." Liv confirmed with a smirk, feeling him beneath her before saying, "But 'I don't know' isn't an answer."
His entire body tensed as he leaned his he
ad back against the wall.
Grabbing the front of his shirt pressing herself completely against him, she demanded, "Answer me."
Braden opened his mouth as if to answer but a ragged breath was all that came out.
"You're not man enough for me." Liv announced as she pushed away from him and hopped back on her feet.
Turning towards her bedroom, she slowly walked away from him, mentally claiming victory over the moment.
Closing her bedroom door behind herself she thought, 'If I had kissed him, he probably would have lost it in his pants'. Poor Braden, his relationship with Lily had stunted him. She'd messed with his mind for so many years he had no idea how to handle a real woman. Which was understandable but if he was going to come at her like he did, flat out saying that he wanted her, then he need to come at her like a man. Sadly, between both Lily and Mina, the only thing he knew was how to be was manipulated.
Throwing herself back onto her bed, she let her legs hang over the end so the toes of her socks could brush against the carpet. Climbing onto Braden's lap wasn't the best direction she could have taken with him. Now she had worked herself up along with him and was left with a cautious 'I don't know' in the other room instead of a man in her bed.
She didn't answer the knock at her bedroom door, but it opened anyway. Without feeling the need to get up, she turned her head towards Braden as he walked into her room.
~
"How was I supposed to answer something like that?" he asked, trying to make sense of what just happened.
Braden watched the bed shake as she laughed her reply.
"With honesty."
Confused, he questioned, "Are you screwing with me?"
"You could have said anything."
"I did say something."
"No, you didn't. You said I don't know and that's a damn lie."
"How is it a lie?"
"Because it isn't the truth. The truth would have been if you'd said, knowing we already did it once is messing with me, or you mean something to me, or even saying I need to get off and you're the only one here."
Looking her over, he asked, "Am I something to you?"
Tilting her head away from him, Liv focused on the ceiling as she answered, "You're a lot of things to me."
"Like what?"
"Friend, reason, virginity thief..." she replied, trailing off the moment. Braden leaned over her, bracing himself with his hands against the bed at her sides.
"You can't steal something that's willingly given to you."
Biting her bottom lip, Liv looked up at him, asking, "So why do you want me?"
Without a second thought he swore, "Because you're an incredible, badass woman, who's rockin' the sexiest red and white socks I've ever seen."
Wrapping her hands around his wrists, Liv pushed herself up, so she was sitting in front of him.
Her lips were less than an inch from his mouth as she informed, "You have ten minutes before I have to shower and head to the shop."
Taking her ultimatum seriously, Braden pushed her back on the bed, grabbed the sides of her underwear and yanked them off before he grabbed hold of her arms and jerked her off of the bed. Swinging her around, he pulled Liv against him. He wanted to take her slow but the moment he kissed her, her hands were inside his shorts.
His memory of that night in high school may have been hazy but his body sure as hell remembered her and it was all he could do to hold on as he lifted her off of her feet and took her up against her bedroom door.
M14H
'Holy hell,' Liv thought as she stepped into the shower. With basically no foreplay he had her there in less than five minutes. Her skin tingled at the thought and her thighs still felt like they were on fire. Leaning her back against the cool tiles of the shower wall, she still hadn't caught her breath. Braden was fierce, greedy and needy all at the same time. And the way he continued to kiss her after without pulling away. Shaking her head at herself as she stepped under the water, she had to laugh. She might have to come up with a new nickname for him. He was a lot of things, but definitely not a punk.
Dressed and ready to head out, she stepped into her room to see if Braden was still where she'd left him. He had taken the liberty of sitting on the end of her bed while she was in the shower.
"I didn't expect it to be so...rushed."
Liv looked over at him, sharing, "I didn't think you had it in you."
"Maybe you brought it out of me."
Giving him a wink, she turned to leave the room.
Leaning back into the doorway, Liv snapped her fingers and pointed at Braden as she blurted, "Thanks for the hot sex."
As he flashed a wide smile at her, she almost stepped back into the room and kissed him.
~
Sitting on the end of Liv's bed, Braden had gone over what happened so many times now in his mind. While she slid away as he was kissing her, watching her walk into the bathroom, when she was in the shower, as she left for the shop, and still he had no idea how it happened. He had a purpose. To ask her out and see how everything played out from there. He knew himself well. Sure he was impulsive, but in the fun let's go skinny dipping or shoot to the next town and get a burger at four in the morning way. Not have furious unprotected sex with his cousin's widow up against the door like a frickin' mad man, impulsive.
Trying to be rational, he thought on the one hand the way he acted with her was not how he normally treated a woman. Then, on the other hand, she told him he wasn't man enough for her and something deep inside him needed to prove her wrong. Either way, there was no coming back from what they'd done. Not for him.
~
Snapping her fingers as she paced back and forth in front of Kieran's grave, Liv worked up the courage to tell him what she'd done.
Everything was great, bordering on perfect when 'Got You' from The Flys came on the radio. The memory of Auggie laughing saying he didn't think Kieran had a chance in hell but Kieran kept saying, 'nah, I got her just where I want her' flickered through her mind. Then guilt swelled in her chest until she turned off at the intersection and headed to the cemetery, instead of Legacy Ink.
Finally, she blew out a loud breath and blurted, "I got down with Braden this morning."
Half expecting more than silence she taunted him.
"It was good and I'll probably let him do me again. If you don't like it you can come back and haunt me or whatever."
When he didn't rise up out of the grave and say something to her, Liv admitted, "I know you're not here."
Staring at his gravestone, she fussed, "If you hadn't been an asshole and died on me, it never would have happened."
Liv let out a loud sigh as she shared, "I'm not mad at you anymore. That's not what this is about. I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't been here when you left me."
Taking a deep breath she finished by saying, "I know what you're thinking and you're wrong. This happened because I wanted it to. Not because of a stupid tattoo. I'm not going to forget about you. I swear. It's just...sex. You can understand that, right?"
Nodding at Kieran's silent grave Liv turned to walk back to her car.
~
Catching himself humming when he stepped out of the shower and again while brushing his teeth, Braden couldn't help but smile. It was rare that things turned out as good as they were in his head. Although he never let his thoughts of Liv go as far as they went today, the realness in the way her kiss tasted against his mouth and how her body felt moving with his was better than anything he could have imagined.
Braden stretched out on his bed. Debating on whether to call her, his phone rang.
"What's up, Pen-Pen?"
His sister's voice sounded concerned as she asked, "Have you talked to Liv today?"
"I was there this mornin', why?"
"I don't know she seemed, off today."
Feeling a concern of his own grow, he questioned, "Off how?"
"Like she couldn't concentrate, I guess."
He could
n't help smile as he shared, "She was good when she left the house."
There was a long pause before Penny said, "You know Kieran's birthday is next week."
"Yeah..." Braden acknowledged, feeling his smile fade.
"Do you remember last year? She took a baseball bat to their porch swing and then set it on fire in the front yard."
He hated being reminded that Liv missed his cousin's sorry ass.
"So?"
"So... I was thinking we could all go out of town, the six of us. Just for a few days and maybe it won't be so hard on her. Uncle Brennen has that cabin that no one ever uses."
Braden wasn't mad at his sister, but his irritation over the subject started to grow anyway.
"Has she said anything about his birthday?"
Sounding confused, Penny replied, "Well no, but..."
"Then why do you want to bring it up. Maybe she's over him."
"Braden!"
"Because he was such a great husband, that's not possible?"
Penny's tone was short as she fussed, "What is your problem?"
Taking a deep breath, Braden reminded himself that to keep Liv from the added pain of finding out Kieran was a cheating bastard when he died, they agreed not to tell Penny or Charlotte either.
"Look, Pen, all I'm sayin' is eventually it's going to be just another day for her and the sooner everyone stops making it an event, the easier it will be on her."
"Okay, geez. Sorry for askin'," she griped before hanging up on him.
~
Rolling over in bed, Liv blinked a few times before picking up her cell phone that was vibrating against the top of the night stand. She rubbed her eyes, trying to focus on the text message that woke her.
B: You up?
L: No
B: You're not?
L: I'm asleep.
B: See you in the morning.
L: Sure thing.
B: 'Night.
L: 'Night.
A light smile formed as Liv shook her head into her pillow before drifting back to sleep.
M15H
Seated on a barstool in her kitchen, Liv poured herself a bowl of cereal as her front door swung open. Repressing a smile, her back straightened and her shoulders tensed. Focusing on eating her cereal, she knew he was in a good mood without having to look at him. It was the way his shoes sounded against her hardwood floor. They made a clomping sound, almost like he was stomping. When he was upset, it was always a slow heel to toe step that created a dragging swoosh.
