by Irene Hannon
And yet…there was a certain indefinable sadness in his eyes, a world-weariness, that tugged at her heart. It was almost as if he’d searched the world for something, come up empty, and resigned himself to that fact.
Maggie had no idea where that insight came from, or even if it was accurate. Nor did she have a clue what it meant. Still, she knew instinctively there was a void of some sort in Jake’s life that troubled his soul.
But the state of Jake’s soul was not her concern, she reminded herself as he walked toward her. Her energies would be better focused on conducting a civil, rational conversation.
Jake smiled as he sat down across from her. “Well, that buys me an hour.”
“You have an appointment?”
“Mmm-hmm. But I wish I didn’t.”
His comment, as well as the familiar tone in his voice, startled her. She didn’t know how to respond, so she remained silent, aware that he was studying her.
“The years have been good to you, Maggie,” he said finally. “You look great.”
This wasn’t at all the polite, impersonal conversation she’d expected, and the warm, husky note in his voice rattled her. “Th-thanks. So do you.” Darn that little stutter!
“So tell me about this place.” He made an all-encompassing gesture. “Have you been doing this long?”
That was more like it. Questions like that she could handle. “Eight years. I moved to Boston about a year after…” She started to say, “after you left,” but changed her mind. The less she talked about them, the better. “…after I got the twins. I worked in a graphic design firm there for three years. By then Abby was finished with all her operations and therapy, so there was less need to stay in a big city. And I thought it would be better for the girls to grow up in a small town. We’d visited Maine on vacation once and loved it, so we came up and looked around one summer. This place happened to be on the market at a good price. It had been vacant for a while, and even though it was structurally sound, it needed lots of cosmetic help and some updating. Before I knew it, I was the proud owner of a B&B. I did freelance design work for a while to tide us over until we established a clientele, and I still sell some of my watercolors to a greeting card company.”
She paused and took a deep breath. “The early years here were a little rough, and it took a lot more hard work than I expected to get established, but I’ve never regretted the move.”
Jake eyed her. “I’m impressed. It took a lot of courage to make such a radical lifestyle change. Not many people would have risked it.”
She shrugged, but his compliment pleased her—much to her chagrin. “I did a lot of research before I made the move. This is a popular area, and the B&Bs do well. I drew up a pretty solid business plan, so it wasn’t too difficult to get a loan for the necessary improvements. And I found ways to keep the capital expenditures reasonably low.”
Jake stared at the woman across from him, struggling to reconcile the Maggie he knew with this savvy businesswoman. His Maggie wouldn’t have had a clue about business plans or capital expenditures. She’d changed even more than he suspected. But it wasn’t an unpleasant change. A faint smile tugged at his lips.
Maggie narrowed her eyes at his reaction. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. It’s just that the Maggie I remember had very little interest in business. I’m surprised, that’s all.”
“The Maggie you knew didn’t need to be interested in business. This one does.”
There was no hint of recrimination in her matter-of-fact tone, but the old, familiar guilt tugged at Jake’s conscience. If he’d honored his commitment to her, Maggie wouldn’t have had to struggle alone to build a life for herself and the twins. It couldn’t have been easy, though she’d downplayed the difficulty. Which only made him admire her more.
“You seem to have done a good job. This place appears to be very successful. And the twins seem like fine young women. Abby looks as if she’s recovered fully from the accident.”
“She has. She needed two more operations after…after I took them in, and therapy after that for three years. But she’s fine now.” She glanced toward the kitchen, her eyes softening. “They’ve been a tremendous help to me through the years. I couldn’t have made this place a success without them. And they’ve brought a great deal of joy to my life.”
Now was the perfect opening to ask the question that was most on his mind. He reached for his coffee and took a sip, trying to phrase it the right way. “Has it just been the three of you all these years, then?”
Maggie turned and looked at him directly. “If you’re asking me whether I’m married, or have ever been married, the answer is no.”
“Why not?” The indiscreet question came out before he could stop it, and warmth crept up the back of his neck. He shook his head and held up his hands. “Listen, forget I asked that, okay? It was way out of line.”
She toyed with the edge of a napkin, then gave a little shrug. “It’s all right. The simple fact is, you weren’t the only one who didn’t want to take on a ready-made family. Not to mention one with medical problems.”
He flinched. She’d scored a direct hit with that comment, whether she intended to or not. “I guess I deserved that.”
She frowned. “I didn’t mean it that way. I was just stating a fact. My situation was a lot for anyone to take on, especially in the early years. And as time went by, I lost interest in romance. I have a nice life. Why should I change it? But tell me about you.” She shifted the focus before he could pursue the subject. “What are you doing here?”
He followed her lead, grateful she hadn’t taken offense at his rash question. “I’m interviewing this afternoon at the Maine Maritime Academy.”
Her eyes widened in surprise. “For a job?”
“Yes. To make a long story short, I’m leaving the navy and Dad is coming to live with me.”
“What about your mom?”
“She died five years ago.”
“Oh.” Her face looked suddenly stricken, and he reached across and laid his hand over hers. Maggie had always gotten along well with his parents. They’d held a special place in her heart, especially after her own parents died.
“It was a shock to all of us.” Jake felt the heat of her fingers beneath his. “She had a stroke about five years ago. She lived for about six months after that, and Dad took care of her at home. That’s where she wanted to be. Mom was a great believer in families taking care of their own. In fact, before she died, she made Rob and me promise that if Dad ever got to the point where he couldn’t live alone, one of us would take him in rather than relegate him to a retirement or nursing home.”
“And he isn’t able to live alone now?”
“No. He had a heart attack about eight months ago and went down to stay with Rob and his family in Atlanta while he recovered. Except that he never did recover very well. He’s gotten pretty frail and a little forgetful, and Rob and I finally realized he couldn’t ever go home. Rob was happy to have Dad live with them—the kids love having their grandpa around—but three weeks ago he lost his job in a corporate downsizing. So Jenny, Rob’s wife, had to go back to work. With three kids and lots of uncertainties, life has been pretty stressful for them. And they can’t give Dad the attention he needs. So the younger son—that would be me—was called in to pinch-hit. That’s why I’m here.”
“You mean you’re giving up your navy career to take care of your dad?”
Jake dismissed the implied sacrifice with a shrug. “I never intended to spend my life in the service. And even though it was a good life in many ways, I have to admit I’m getting a little tired of being a nomad. The idea of settling down in one place is beginning to appeal to me. Rob may be having some career problems at the moment, but I’m starting to envy his life—the wife, the kids, the picket fence.”
“So you’ve been…alone all these years?”
“I never married, either, Maggie.”
A strange feeling of lightness swept over he
r, but she ignored it and focused on a less volatile topic. “So how does your dad feel about this move?”
Jake’s face grew troubled. “Not happy, I’m afraid. You know how independent Dad always was. He hasn’t taken kindly to having to rely on his kids to take care of him. Rob says it wasn’t too bad at first, when Dad thought he’d eventually be able to go home. But since we decided that’s not an option, he’s been pretty despondent. He knows we’re right, but that hasn’t made it any easier for him to accept. And it’s even worse now that he realizes he’ll be stuck with me instead of Rob, at least for a while.”
Jake’s last comment had been made lightly, but Maggie suspected his tone masked deeper feelings. She knew his parents hadn’t been happy when he’d walked out on her. They’d apologized on his behalf more times than she could count. But surely, after all these years, his father didn’t still hold a grudge against his son on her behalf. There had to be more to their troubled relationship than that.
“I take it you and your dad don’t get along that well.” She chose her words with care.
Jake gave a short, mirthless laugh. “You might say that. As I’m sure you know, Dad was very disappointed in me after I…after we broke up. And he didn’t hold back his feelings on the subject, either. So I made fewer trips home, which only seemed to fuel the fire. I did go home more often after Mom’s stroke, but not enough to suit Dad. He figured I’d abandoned them, too, I guess.”
Maggie looked at him in surprise. Abandoned them, too? That was an incriminating word choice. Did it mean he regretted his decision twelve years ago to break up with her? Had guilt followed him all these years as he roamed around the world? She’d never considered that. She figured once he’d made his decision he’d gone on with his life, that eventually memories of her and their time together had faded. But his words implied otherwise.
“Anyway, like it or not, we’re stuck with each other,” Jake continued. “And I’m determined to make the best of it. In fact, to be perfectly honest, I hope we can mend the rift between us. Dad and I used to be close, and…well, I’ve missed that all these years.”
Once again, Maggie was taken aback by Jake’s admission. He’d never been the kind of man who talked much about feelings. Maybe the willingness to do so had come with maturity. Once you felt comfortable with your life and had proven your abilities, it was easier to admit other limitations without feeling threatened. Jake struck her as being a very secure man in most aspects of his life. Confident and in control. Yet he’d been unable to reestablish a good relationship with his father. And he wasn’t too proud to admit it.
“Well, the opportunity will certainly be there now.” Maggie tried to be encouraging. “I’m sure your dad will come around.”
“I’m not so sure. But I have to try at least. Rob has his hands full, and we can’t go back on our promise to Mom. Besides, Rob’s done more than his share with Dad since Mom died. It’s only right I take my turn.”
Maggie stared at Jake. The man was full of surprises. Through the years she’d convinced herself he was a self-centered, spoiled, irresponsible man who had probably grown even more so with age. But the decisions he’d made regarding his father, his acceptance of his duty, his willingness to honor the promise to his mother at the expense of his career, weren’t the actions of a selfish man. They spoke of integrity and principle and dependability. Maggie had to admit that his behavior was admirable. But it was a grudging admission, and not one she had any intention of verbalizing.
“Excuse me, but there’s a call for you, Mr. West.” Abby paused beside the table, her gaze blatantly curious as it moved from Jake to Maggie. “A man named Dennis Richards.”
Jake frowned and checked his cell. “My battery was low, I guess it gave out. I told him I was here in case it died. He must not have been able to switch the time for the first interview after all. Will you wait, Maggie? I’ll be right back.”
“Yes.”
“You can take the call on the phone in the foyer, at the desk.” Abby motioned toward the entrance.
She watched Jake leave, then turned to Maggie, her eyes shining. “Were you really engaged to him once?”
Maggie glanced in the direction Jake had disappeared and nodded. “It’s a long story, honey. And it happened a long time ago.”
“But he’s back now,” Abby pointed out eagerly. “Who knows? Maybe—”
“Maybe we should try not to let our imaginations run away with us.” Maggie cut off her niece’s fanciful speculations.
“But what’s he doing here?”
“He’s on his way to Castine. He’s considering a job at the Maritime Academy.”
“You mean he might be living less than twenty miles away?” Abby was clearly elated.
“Maybe.”
“Wow! Wait till I tell Allison!”
Before Maggie could respond, Abby turned on her heel and disappeared into the kitchen. Maggie shook her head, then propped her chin on her hand, as she considered the situation.
Jake had reappeared in her life after twelve years. “Shock” didn’t begin to describe her reaction. But somehow she’d made it through the last half hour or so. Even if it had taken every ounce of her willpower and fortitude to act as if his presence hadn’t been a jolting experience that left her reeling.
She’d succeeded, though, and congratulated herself for that. But a thirty-minute encounter was one thing. How on earth would she cope if the man lived just down the road? If she knew every time she went out that she might run into him—at the grocery store, on the street, in the park? The thought unnerved her.
What unnerved her even more, however, was the realization that the man still had the power to unnerve her. She resented that. After all, he was nothing to her anymore. Her life was full and rich as it was. She had two loving “daughters,” an artistic talent that gave her great joy and a satisfying career that continued to sustain her. What more could she ask for?
But there was more, as Maggie well knew. Though she’d long ago reconciled herself to the fact that the single life seemed to be for her, deep in her heart she still yearned for someone to share it with. Having once loved deeply, she knew what joy love could bring. She didn’t think about it often, though. Idle wishing was fruitless. But seeing Jake again had reawakened those yearnings, made her recall the heady feeling of being in love.
Her lips curved up into a wistful smile as she thought back. It had been a wonderful time, those days of awakening emotions and eager plans for a future together, when the world stretched before them, infinite in its possibilities. How differently her life would have turned out if those plans had come to fruition. But there had been another future in store for her. And she shouldn’t complain. Her life had been rewarding in many ways.
“It looks like I’ll have to leave sooner than I wanted to.” Jake’s regretful voice interrupted her reverie.
“I understand.”
“Listen, Maggie, I’d like to continue our conversation. We barely got started. Can I call you tomorrow?”
She hesitated. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
Silence stretched between them for a moment. “You’ve been kinder to me already than I have any right to expect.” His voice was quiet. Resigned. “You probably still hate me, and I can’t say I blame you.”
“I never hated you, Jake. I was just…hurt. But I got over that a long time ago.”
He looked at her, as if he wanted to believe that was true but found it difficult to accept. “Then why won’t you talk to me?”
Because I’m scared. Because I feel like a tight-rope walker who’s about to lose her balance. And I don’t want to fall, Jake. Not again. Not ever again.
But her spoken words were different. “It’s very busy this time of year. I just don’t have the time to socialize.”
“How about a phone call, then? You can spare a few minutes for that, can’t you?”
They both knew she could. And Maggie didn’t want to give Jake the impression that she stil
l held a grudge. That would make her seem small and unforgiving.
“All right. Give me a call when you have a few minutes.”
She was rewarded with a smile so warm it felt like sunshine on a lazy summer day. “Thank you, Maggie. I appreciate it. I’ve already taken care of my bill and loaded my car, so I’ll say goodbye for now.” He stood up and held out his hand. She had no choice but to take it, trying to still the rapid beating of her heart as her fingers were engulfed in his firm, warm grip.
“I know this encounter has been unsettling for you. And I’m sorry for that. I never want to upset you again. But I’m not sorry our paths crossed. I think it happened for a reason.”
Maggie didn’t respond. She couldn’t.
Jake held her gaze a moment longer, then released it—as well as her hand. “I’ll call you soon.” With that, he turned and strode away.
Maggie sank back into her chair, his words echoing in her mind. He’d said he thought their paths had crossed for a reason. She couldn’t dispute that. It was too odd a coincidence to accept at face value. He’d also said he was glad it had happened.
On that point she disagreed.
Because now that Jake had walked back into her life, she somehow knew it would never be the same again.
Chapter Three
“Earth to Maggie, earth to Maggie. Are you with me over there?”
Maggie sent Philip an apologetic look across the table they were sharing at the outdoor café. “Sorry about that.”
“No problem. So what if you don’t find my company fascinating? Why should I be insulted?”
Maggie grinned at his good-natured teasing. “You’re a good sport, you know that?”
“So I’ve been told. What gives?”
She shifted in her seat. “What do you mean?”
“Maggie, I’ve known you for what…seven, eight years? In all that time I’ve never once seen you distracted. So I figure something’s happened—something pretty dramatic. Therefore, I repeat…what gives?”
Maggie looked down and played with her fork. She should have known she couldn’t hide her inner turmoil from Philip. He was way too perceptive. And maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to tell him about Jake. Philip had been a trusted friend and firm supporter for years. Without his encouragement, she might never have taken up serious painting again. Even now he had several of her pieces displayed in his gallery. He’d been a good sounding board through the years, too. A widower with two grown daughters, he’d offered her valuable advice about the girls on numerous occasions. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to run this situation by him, get his take on it.
