East of the Sun

by Janet Rogers

  ‘I made my first big mistake fifteen years ago. The one that lead to all the others, to all this. I should never have married Shahendra in the first place. I regret it every day.’

  Amelia said nothing, anger continuing to rise in her chest. She was only able to hear self-pity and melodrama in Ratna’s story. She said nothing, not trusting herself to say the appropriate thing, afraid that Ratna would stop talking if she showed her feelings.

  ‘Everything I’d worked for,’ Ratna continued, her voice quivering, ‘all the things I couldn’t get for Ravi or myself over the years, all of that effort was lost. There was nothing left in that account apart from the pitiful few dollars required for keeping it open.’

  Ratna sighed again, her face settling into heavy lines. ‘I was devastated. Of course I confronted Shahendra, but the money was long gone. He said he’d urgently needed the money for a business deal and swore that he would repay it, but even if he likes to fool himself into believing he’ll come to the rescue somehow, I know it will never happen. He’s too weak, too self-indulgent. I knew it was up to me to make a plan.’

  Ratna took a deep breath. ‘After the summer holidays, when I came back to Moscow, I even thought of changing jobs, of leaving the diplomatic service for something else. I was just never able to find a good alternative. So, after a few months, I gave up on the idea. I told myself I would simply have to economise more and motivate Ravi to work hard, get good grades and hope for a scholarship. But then—’ Ratna stopped abruptly.

  She sat in silence for several minutes before she continued the story.

  ‘When the Prism-Sibraz thing erupted, Robert was approached almost immediately. His reputation as a mediator was excellent and they wanted him to get involved because of his previous work in the sector. Things became very busy very quickly and, as meeting after meeting took place, some of them here at the embassy, I met some of the Prism people. A few I only got to know over the phone. One day, out of the blue, one of them called me.’

  Ratna took a deep breath and looked at Amelia. ‘It wasn’t someone I’d met in person. He suggested that I could help Robert and them. Prism, that is.’ Ratna hesitated before she added, more quietly, ‘And myself.’

  ‘An opportunity presented itself,’ Amelia said contemptuously, finishing the thought for her.

  Ratna swallowed before she explained. ‘Somehow they’d found out about my situation with Ravi’s college fund. The person who called me told me they were extremely concerned for Robert’s safety. They didn’t want to alarm him, they said, and so they asked me not to tell him about their plan or my involvement in it.’

  Ratna seemed to be struggling with the story now. ‘They asked that I . . . that I supply them with details of Robert’s movements, so that their security team could protect him unobtrusively and effectively.’

  Amelia stared at her, disbelief and anger burning in her chest.

  She spat out the question. ‘And you believed them?’ When Ratna didn’t reply, she continued. ‘I see. I guess that wasn’t the right question, was it? You gave them information in exchange for?’

  Again Ratna swallowed and looked down. ‘Payment.’

  Amelia shook her head and turned away, incapable of looking at Ratna any longer.

  ‘Initially that was all they asked for,’ Ratna continued. ‘Information about his whereabouts and movements. I thought it made sense, that it was good that they were doing this. The embassy couldn’t possibly afford that level of security, so I believed the plan was good for everyone.’

  ‘You wanted to believe!’

  ‘Maybe, yes. It was the only way to get the college fund going again.’

  ‘And then?’

  ‘They told me that the negotiations were getting even more heated and that the dangers had increased.’

  ‘And again you believed them.’ Amelia shook her head in disgust. ‘What did you have to do this time?’

  ‘They asked that I devise fairly intricate route plans for Robert and that I then let only the relevant embassy driver and their representative know. They said it was imperative for Robert’s protection that even he didn’t know.’

  ‘Let me guess, Ratna,’ Amelia said, ‘you got paid considerably more for your efforts this time, didn’t you?’

  Ratna didn’t answer. She didn’t need to.

  ‘Who did you deal with?’ Amelia continued, unable, unwilling, to keep the scorn from her voice. ‘Was it Bruce Jennings himself?’ When Ratna remained silent, Amelia pushed her. ‘Come on, this is the least you can do after what you’ve done!’ She gasped as she finished speaking, hearing the tremors in her own voice. She couldn’t start crying now. She would never be able to stop.

  ‘I never met the person. At first, there were just phone calls. Then, later, I was given a number to dial. No one answered. Ever. It was always a voicemail and I was always required to leave a message. The person who contacted me could have been Canadian, but the contact was always so brief. I’m just not sure.’

  ‘Do you still have the number?’ Amelia asked.

  ‘Yes, but I tried it again when Robert . . .’ she wasn’t able to finish the sentence and looked down in shame. ‘And a few times since, but there is no answer. And no one has returned my calls.’

  Amelia stood up, walked the few paces to the other side of the office. She kept her back to the woman she’d once considered a friend. It was almost impossible to comprehend the things Ratna was telling her.

  Initially, she’d thought the Russians had been responsible and after the meeting with Sudakov she believed it had been the Canadians. Both were powerful business entities with their own agendas, but she’d never thought that someone so close to Robert would choose to betray him – and for a college fund!

  It was agony to go on, but she had to know everything there was to know. She had to get every last detail out of Ratna while she was willing to talk.

  ‘What happened that night?’ she asked. Behind her Ratna was silent. Amelia turned around and faced her.

  ‘Amelia, I’m not sure I can do this.’ Ratna folded and refolded a piece of paper in her hand, unable to meet Amelia’s eye.

  Amelia walked over to the desk and leaned over threateningly. ‘I don’t care what you can or can’t! You’ve sold your right to a choice. This is what you will do. You will tell me everything, because it is the only way.’ She straightened again, feeling the threatening stranglehold of imminent tears. Wordlessly she waited.

  For a moment or two Ratna wrung her hands in distress, but then continued, her eyes remaining on her hands. She spoke fast, as if she couldn’t stomach the words she was uttering.

  ‘I received a call that afternoon. He – the representative – told me that I was to instruct the driver to go past the turnoff to the embassy and residence, continue along Sivtsev Vrazhek until he reached the T-junction with Denezhniy Pereulok. He then had to circle back to the embassy via the side streets. So, that’s what I did. I planned out the route exactly, called the driver, gave him specific instructions and left a message on the voicemail after I’d done all that.’ Ratna stopped abruptly and looked up.

  ‘I didn’t know what would happen, Amelia, I swear. I heard the news the next morning and was as shocked as everybody else! I felt so terrible. I still feel terrible!’

  ‘Why didn’t you come forward? If not then, at least now?’

  ‘I couldn’t. I wanted to, but I just couldn’t. Ravi already has only one parent. What else could I do? If I’d come forward, he would have been alone with no one to look out for him. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I thought I was helping,’ Ratna pleaded.

  ‘Helping to ensure a colleague or friend’s safety doesn’t normally require payment, Ratna!’ Amelia exploded. ‘Is this how you repaid Robert for his years of kindness to you? Have you even stopped for a second to consider what you’ve done? You’ve ruined lives! That poor driver will never be normal again, and Robert? Robert is not off somewhere having a great life, Ratna. Robert is dead! Do you unders
tand? He is dead! Because of you. And Ravi has a college fund again, but I wonder if he’ll want to use the money in that fund when he finds out where it came from.’

  Ratna sat very still, her face drained of colour.

  ‘I don’t understand why you didn’t just ask for help.’

  A sudden flash of anger appeared on Ratna’s face, the same anger Amelia had seen before, but a second later it was gone. As Amelia stared at her, she finally understood Ratna’s odd behaviour since her return to Moscow. She’d been driven by a poisonous mix of guilt and envy. All the time she’d resented Amelia for having what she didn’t have, which was freedom from worry about money. And when Amelia’s presence had started to threaten her security, when she’d become afraid of being found out, her defensiveness had turned into aggression.

  ‘I was desperate,’ Ratna said. ‘So desperate that I lost my sense of judgement. It would have been terrible to admit that I’d been duped by Shahendra.’

  Amelia shook her head in disbelief. ‘More terrible than causing Robert’s death?’

  As Amelia spoke the harsh truth, something seemed to break in Ratna. She bent over, leaned her head on the edge of the desk and started keening, her body rocking back and forth. ‘I didn’t kill him! I didn’t kill him! I’m so sorry . . .’

  Amelia stared at Ratna’s crumbling figure. Her wailing was growing in intensity, as if she’d lost all control, as if the truth of what she had done, was finally hitting her. This was someone Robert had trusted, someone he’d been kind to. For money, Ratna had decided to betray him and further the agenda of Prism and Bruce Jennings.

  The picture was clear. Amelia finally understood.

  Without needing to know more, she turned her back on the crying figure and left the room.

  The door swung outwards as she reached to push it open.

  ‘Amelia?’ It was Patrick, on his way into the building. He laughed nervously, grabbed his chest, and panted with surprise. ‘You gave me a fright!’ He stood back and looked at her, but then his smile faded.

  ‘Hey, are you all right? What are you still doing here?’ She could hear the alarm in his voice and realised too late that her face must betray the turmoil she was experiencing.

  Somehow she found the energy to wave his concern away, pretending to search for something in her bag. She needed to get away from this place. She knew she wouldn’t be able to maintain her control for much longer. If she allowed herself to respond to his concern now, she would fall apart. She needed to be alone first.

  ‘Just a little tired. I’m on my way now.’

  He studied her face, hesitated, then seemed to change his mind. ‘Actually, it’s good that I ran into you. Cathy and I would like you to come to lunch tomorrow. We’ve still not had a proper visit with you.’

  ‘Oh, yes, all right. Thank you,’ Amelia added, struggling to find an appropriate response, her mind still reeling from what she’d heard inside. She started to move away, but Patrick stopped her again.

  ‘In truth, I need a favour. It’s about the situation between Cathy and me again.’

  Amelia nodded vaguely as he continued. ‘I’d really appreciate it if I could talk to you about things a little more. Would you mind? We didn’t have enough time the other day in the shopping centre and I really feel you’re a mutual friend whose insight could help.’

  ‘All right, yes, I understand,’ Amelia mumbled, just wanting to escape the building and what had happened inside.

  ‘I was thinking,’ Patrick said, ‘that I could pick you up and drive us out to our place again. I have to come into town anyway, so we can talk on the way?’

  Finding a little more composure, Amelia replied. ‘That sounds fine. Thank you for the invitation.’

  ‘Where will you be? You’re staying at The National, right? Can I pick you up there?’

  ‘Eh, how about I meet you here?’ Amelia stepped away.

  ‘All right, that sounds great,’ he said. ‘See you tomorrow then. Say eleven?’

  Patrick still looked concerned, but raising her hand in a last wave goodbye, Amelia took a few steps away and looked up at the building that had once been a beloved, safe place.

  Everything had changed. How wrong she’d been about so much. All along the danger had been inside the building and not only on the outside as she had thought. She thought of Robert, turned around and headed back to the apartment where Nick would be waiting.

  28

  ‘Nick?’ Amelia called out as she stepped through the door.

  No answer came. The apartment was quiet.

  ‘Nick, where are you?’

  She walked into the small lounge and saw immediately that it was empty. Beyond it she could see that he wasn’t in the bedroom either. The bed was neatly made, all signs gone that they’d shared it the previous night.

  ‘Nick,’ she called out hopefully, ‘are you here?’ but knew before she asked the question that there would be no answer. Disappointment engulfed her. She’d started depending on him and now he wasn’t here.

  She hung up her coat and walked into the deserted kitchen. All that awaited her was a note propped up against a coffee mug. His handwriting was strong, with long, pointed letters:

  Amelia, I have a few things to take care of today. Not sure when I’ll be back, but don’t worry if it gets late, I may be a while. Nick

  The apartment felt alien without him there. She was too restless to savour the time alone to consider and digest all that Ratna had confessed to. The instinct to keep things to herself, to handle them on her own, had changed so drastically from those first days back in Moscow. Now she felt adrift, unable to summon the single-mindedness with which she’d arrived.

  What should she do next? Call Nick? No. Much as she wanted to, she wouldn’t call. She didn’t want to seem needy.

  After the kettle had boiled, she nursed cup after cup of tea, hoping in vain for his return. Eventually the hardness of the chair drove her to the sofa where she fell asleep and into a tangle of dreams filled with images of winding streets, snow globes and a handful of roubles scattered on pristine snow.

  She woke up to a grey morning and a text message from Henry Gunn on her phone.

  Don’t know what ure looking for, but nothing of interest re. Ross. Good rep. Solid record. Are u ok?

  She sighed. Even though the e-mail between Robert and Chris Ross continued to niggle at her, it seemed irrelevant now that she knew what happened. She didn’t believe that Robert would have done anything questionable. His moral compass had always been infallible.

  Still there was no sign of Nick. Where was he? And why hadn’t he contacted her? The previous night she hadn’t wanted to pester him, but now worry overcame her reservations and she dialled his number. The call went straight to voicemail. Either his phone was switched off or it had run out of battery and she knew of no other way to get hold of him. Unease about the thin lines of communication between them lingered as she showered and dressed, all the while hopeful that she would hear a key in the lock. The building, however, remained silent.

  As the minutes passed, she couldn’t bring herself to pick up her bag and coat to leave for her lunch date with Patrick and Cathy. She knew she was going to run late, but was reluctant to go before she’d seen Nick or at least spoken to him about Ratna’s terrible revelations.

  One more time she hesitated, thinking of the night they’d spent together, the comfort of his body next to hers. Did he regret that closeness now, however innocent it had been? Was he hesitant to return because of that, fearful that he’d given too much of himself or that she would expect something from him now?

  There was so much that made sense after her conversation with Ratna; so much she wanted to tell him, but she couldn’t help but wonder if the events of the past few days had taken their toll and she’d become a burden to him. Could he be avoiding her? She sighed, ignoring the small shard of rejection she felt.

  Irritated with herself, she shook off the doubts. He’d done enough, far more than she
’d expected, and she had finally learnt the truth, and even if it was painful, she was glad that she did. She glanced at the note she’d left for him on the small kitchen table where they’d spent the previous number of evenings analysing the details of Robert’s disappearance. She’d kept it brief.

  Mystery solved. Will tell all later.

  Gone to lunch at Patrick & Cathy’s,

  A.

  She hoped it would be enough.

  Her watch told her she could no longer delay her departure. Resolutely she left the apartment. Half an hour later, as she rounded the corner from Sivtsev Vrazhek onto Starokonyushenny Pereulok, she saw that Patrick’s car was already waiting in front of the embassy. Worse, he was sitting inside, his fingers drumming on the steering wheel, an irritated look on his face. She hurried forward.

  ‘Sorry,’ she said as she opened the passenger door, giving him an apologetic look. ‘Did I keep you waiting long?’

  ‘It’s nothing,’ he replied, fastening his seatbelt after he offered her the briefest of smiles.

  ‘I’m really sorry,’ she said again, ‘I just couldn’t get myself together this morning.’

  Patrick shook his head in response, and appeared to also attempt to shake off his mood. ‘Don’t worry about it. I’m just grumpy, that’s all.’ He pulled a face and smiled wryly.

  ‘Everything all right? I mean at home?’

  He shrugged slightly. ‘Oh, I’d say things are about the same.’

  He didn’t elaborate, but focused on getting his car out of its parking space. For several minutes they drove in silence. Amelia watched as he made his way from one back street to another without hesitation. After years in Moscow, he seemed to know all the routes that would help him avoid the traffic on the straighter route to the main highway.