What would it have been like to be born, as he had, with almost no ability and then to suddenly develop such skill? I could imagine. Without my Sight, what would I be?
Cael frowned at me. “Your Sight doesn’t make you who you are. I wish you’d stop thinking of yourself as this… this terrible person. That’s not the man I met in Elaeavn. That’s not the man who risked himself to rescue me.” She stepped over the plate on the ground and took my hands. “Something happened when we came here, Galen.”
I took a deep breath. “I know. And I’m sorry about that. I didn’t want to force you to deal with Talia.”
“That’s not it. You don’t have to apologize for who you were and who you cared about. Knowing that you cared about her makes it easier. You suffered for so long alone in Eban.” She looked into my eyes, and I realized that I could lose myself in hers. When I stared at her, I felt the urge to be better and knew that I failed. “I’m happy to know that you were not always alone. There’s jealousy when I see you with her, and see how beautiful she is, and think of how the two of you could have been, but then I Read you,” she went on, not afraid to admit how she Read me, “and I feel how conflicted you were. And are. You wonder what could have been, and I think that’s natural. I wonder what would have been had you never been exiled in the first place. Would we ever have met? What would have been had I not lost the crystal?
“There are dozens of choices we make each day that could change our path, and most so small that it’s impossible to recognize them. Then there are the larger choices, the ones that we know will change us. Since meeting you, I know how you will choose even without Reading you. That’s why I care about you, why I choose to be with you. It’s the reason I love you, Galen.”
I swallowed back the lump in my throat. Even knowing that she could Read me, knowing how well she knew my thoughts, it was different when she shared with me. And since we’d come to Asador, there had been something of a wedge between us.
And I was that wedge.
“I thought that seeing her wouldn’t be hard, especially now that I’m with you.”
“You cared for her.”
“I met her at a time when I had no one. I’d gone to Eban seeking my own way, separating from Isander. She let me visit her tavern. It was a sanctuary of sorts. A place where I didn’t have to be the assassin. And then I did. When she was hurt, I saw how far I would go for people I care about, and found out exactly what I would do. There’s darkness within me, Cael. That’s part of the reason I was Forgotten.”
“You were Forgotten because a foolish man thought that his title and place in the city gave him more power than he deserved.”
“It doesn’t change what I did for Talia.”
“Nor should it. She’s alive because of you. That’s what she thinks about every time she sees you. Did you know that?”
I shook my head. Talia wouldn’t share that weakness with me, even if it didn’t matter. “That’s the reason she wears the scarf.”
“I know.”
“She was bleeding heavily. There was only one way to save her.”
“You could have died yourself. She knows that and she fears that’s part of the reason she cares so deeply for you, though she should not. She cared for you long before you gifted her your blood.”
I had tried to put the darkness of that time out of my mind. Nothing good would come of it. Talia lived, then she left, taken from the city by Carth.
“I fear that if something happens to you…”
Cael leaned forward and kissed me on the lips. Electricity sizzled through me, tingling through my face and down through my body. There was passion only in the kiss, and she left me with a longing.
“I know.”
“I don’t want to be that person again,” I said. “I don’t want to be the assassin anymore.”
It was the first time I had admitted that to myself.
When we ran from Eban, I had done what was needed to keep us alive. There had been killing, but not the kind that made me a monster, nothing like what I’d done after Talia had been injured. The longer that I was with Cael, the less I wanted to be that person anymore. I didn’t think that I could be Galen of Elaeavn as Carth taunted, but I could be Galen. Not the assassin. Not anything. Only Galen.
“I know that you’ll do what you have to, and only that.” She kissed me again, and all the anxiety that had been building in my chest since we’d arrived began to ease. Now that it did, I understood why I’d felt it. There was a connection to Cael that had been missing. She was my peace, the anchor which kept me from becoming the monster that so many wanted me to be. “You have never needed an anchor,” she whispered in my ear, “but I’ll be happy to hold you down if that’s what you want.”
The comment brought a smile to my lips, and I kissed her again.
20
When Raphe started to come around, I was ready. His arms were loosely bound, and he was dosed lightly with slithca. I didn’t want to risk him Sliding away until I knew whether removing the plate had made any sort of difference with him. Cael said that he had some ability before the plate had been implanted; I needed to know if any remained.
I’d spent the last day searching for signs of Rebecca and failing.
In Eban, I would have sources I could go to, people who owed favors, but I had nothing in Asador. Talia did. And everyone she asked had no different answer. It was as if Rebecca had disappeared completely. Given that she could Slide, that wasn’t a surprise.
I found no evidence of Carth. I considered questioning the children but decided against it.
I still hadn’t said anything to Talia, and I wouldn’t until Carth—if Carth—decided that she wanted Talia to know. Telling her risked Carth’s disappointment, and that was not something I wanted. It also risked her anger, which was something I feared.
But Talia now knew what I’d done to the Hjan. And she knew what we suspected about the source of their power. From the hard and angry look on her face, I suspected that she longed for the chance to find another of the Hjan.
Now I needed Raphe to awaken so I could question him.
The damned man seemed like he wanted nothing more than to take his time in this. And after what we’d put him through, I couldn’t blame him.
He startled awake and kicked his legs as soon as he saw me.
“What did you do?” he growled.
I sat down in front of him, crossing my legs. I placed a long knife atop my lap, the same knife that I’d used to help me remove the plate. “You might not know it, but I was once a skilled healer. Oh, not as skilled as some, but I learned the way to mix herbs and medicines, to bind wounds with poultices, and even some basic surgery.”
That last hung in the air for a moment.
He tried to move his hands, but I had left him bound for now. Eventually, I would have to choose whether to release him or kill him and what he said over the next few minutes would make that decision for me.
“What did you do?” he repeated. This time there was less intensity in the question. Now there was fear.
“Your grandfather was exiled,” I said, watching Raphe’s face.
He glared at me, the corners of his eyes twitching and telling me that it was true. Not that I needed confirmation. Cael had already Read him, but I needed to know what he would do now.
“How many of the Hjan are descended from the exiles?” I asked.
He looked around, his dark eyes narrowing as he tried to see where Cael sat, but she crouched in the shadows, far removed from where his gaze could reach her. In that, she had agreed with me. “Where is your Reader? She’s here, isn’t she? That’s how you know.”
“Let me guess the answer to that: all of them. There must be some power for your other tricks to work. That’s why you resent the Elvraeth, isn’t it?”
A hint of his confidence returned, enough that I wondered if he would ever do what we needed to find the child. “I’d call it a little more than resentment. I thought that Galen of Elaeavn would understand.
The exiled assassin. But you’re nothing more than a lapdog for the Elvraeth now, aren’t you?”
“A lapdog still gets treats,” I said.
“And still wears the collar and leash.”
I lifted the plate and tapped it on the ground. “You’d do anything to gain the power those born within the city possess, wouldn’t you?”
His eyes drifted to the plate, hot and angry.
I flicked the plate toward the fire. I didn’t know if the flames were hot enough to consume the metal, and I didn’t care. Lorst would know, I suspected, but then, Lorst would probably have used the plate to kill the Hjan. In that way, maybe I wasn’t the man I had always believed myself to be.
“There’s something about being born in the city that makes a difference,” I said. “And considering the way that you sought the crystal, I’m guessing that’s the secret.”
“You have no idea what you’re doing, do you?”
“None.”
“You’ve sealed your fate, assassin. You won’t survive—”
“You will tell Galen where to find the child,” Cael said, stepping forward.
Raphe tried to keep his mouth from opening, fighting Cael and the Compelling that she’d used on him, but he could no more fight the rush of the river. “The child lives in the city. We know she’s here, but we have not found her.”
“You’ve found others,” Cael said. Anger dripped from her, rage concentrated in a way that I’d never seen from her before.
“We recruit in many places, Reader.”
“You steal children,” Cael snapped.
“Steal? Is it stealing when they’re unwanted, when they’re allowed to wander the streets? Is it stealing when we give them a home, a place where they’re wanted? We teach them, yes, but the decision to join is theirs, as it must be.”
Cael looked as if she wanted to jump at the man. “Tell him why this one is important.”
“Ah, that is why you care. Do not worry—”
“Tell him.”
Raphe glanced at me. “We would trade her for the crystal. The exile possesses it.”
“Rebecca?” I asked. “She didn’t have the crystal.”
He stared at me. “You won’t get the answers you want from me. Besides, you’re running out of time.”
“Galen—” Cael started.
The edge in her voice forced me to my feet. I grabbed a handful of darts and quickly tipped them as I swung my gaze around the room. “What is it?”
“I’m not sure. It felt like… like him.”
Hjan.
Raphe smiled.
“Why smile? You’re no longer one of them,” I said.
“You can’t understand. You might have been exiled, but you never cared about the return. There are those who do and have taken steps to do all that we can to return. That time comes soon, assassin, and there can be none who will stop it.”
The shimmer of light indicating the Slide was so fast and so subtle that I almost missed it. A figure appeared, and I flicked three darts, using a combination of coxberry and terad. It wouldn’t matter if they killed, but I feared the Hjan having immunity to one of my poisons. Better to attack with more than one.
I almost missed the second Slider.
It came behind me, near Cael.
She cried out, though her voice was muffled. Somehow, I felt her fear, as if she let me Read her.
Slipping my hand into my pocket, I grabbed for a pair of knives and dropped to the ground, rolling away as I threw.
Cael jerked herself down.
The first knife missed. The second struck somewhere, but there was another flicker and then it was gone. Whoever I’d hit was gone.
Looking around the room, the other Hjan was gone as well, and Raphe was dead, his throat cut and his eyes rolled back in his head.
Two of my darts were missing.
“Come on,” I said to Cael.
“They came to kill him?”
I didn’t know how to answer. I couldn’t understand why they would have attacked him like that unless he knew more than he had shared. But if he knew more, Cael had already Read him. If only we could understand what would be so important to the Hjan for them to come here not to rescue but to kill one of their own.
They wanted the child because they believed Rebecca had the crystal. Carth protected a child because she thought the same. With all the rumors in the city, the damn thing had to be here, but where?
Rebecca was the one thing that joined them together, but why? How?
The streets were awash with activity this close to the harbor. Lights bobbed out on the water from dozens of boats. People jostled past us, none paying us any attention. The full moon hung fat and full in the sky, and a few stars twinkled softly.
I could almost imagine myself back in Eban.
I paused for a moment, and Cael squeezed my hand, dragging me from those thoughts. It wasn’t that I wanted to return to Eban. It was the familiarity had there, and the understanding of the different forces I faced. I knew Orly and knew what he wanted of Eban. The Great Watcher knew I had been there to help some of it. But here in Asador, with all these different interests lining up on various sides, I felt out of my element.
“Why not change that?” Cael asked. When I frowned, she added, “What would you have done in Eban?”
“Gone to Orly by this point.”
“I doubt you would have gone to him.”
“Most of the time, I worked for him. The last few years, he’d consolidated the power in the city, pushing the other thief-masters out…”
I frowned.
“Is that what this is?” I asked softly, and mostly to myself.
Could this be an attempt to consolidate power, only on a grander scale? Not for control of the city, but for control of much more?
I started up the street, away from the harbor, trying to puzzle through this.
“Where are we going?” Cael asked.
“You didn’t Read me?”
“I’m searching for Rebecca.”
That was good. She was a part of it somehow. “Two of my darts struck the Hjan. He might have Slid away from us, but he won’t have gotten far.”
“Which two?”
“One of coxberry, and one of terad.”
“Terad is fatal.”
“Not to them.”
We pushed through the crowd and had neared a small rise on the hill when I caught sight of him. He moved slowly, the additive effect of the two drugs slowing him, but he still managed to drift in and out of shadows along the street.
Once we found him, I had a different problem to solve: If this was a consolidation of power like I’d experienced in Eban, who was the equivalent of Orly?
21
The Hjan barely turned when I pressed my knife into his back.
“Assassin. Have it over if you intend to do it in the street.”
“You killed Raphe,” I said.
“He served the cause and his time was done.”
“What does that mean?” I asked, pushing harder with my knife, forcing him to step into one of the nearby alleys, and away from Cael and I. The shadows that drifted across created a blanket over us, shielding us from the people on the street. There weren’t many willing to go into a darkened alley at night in any city.
“You’re outside your home, assassin. Return and serve as you have.”
“Serve. Is that what you think I’ve been doing?”
He turned his head to the side and offered a hint of a smile. “You’ve served well enough.”
“What were you afraid he’d share?”
The Hjan closed his eyes. “Others are coming, assassin. Choose whether you die now or later.”
“How about I perform the same surgery on you as I did on Raphe?” I asked him.
“If you must. I am prepared for such sacrifice. But are you?” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “You who have been so willing to die for so many years, now there’s a reason to live, isn’t there? Such reasons
make it harder to serve as you had.” He smiled sadly and shook his head. “Go now so that you can live. Remaining here will only lead to more sadness for you, assassin.”
He was Reading me.
And he could Slide.
What else could he do?
More than a single ability usually meant Elvraeth, but this was one of the Hjan.
“Cael?” I said.
“It’s possible,” she said.
I had to make a decision. Power was consolidating around me, and I would need to choose which side to support, if any. In Eban, I had allowed Orly to take over, choosing not to get involved. Orly had been better than some, but I always knew that I could have made a different choice, one that would have helped more people, had I only been willing to step forward and out of the shadows. I was skilled enough.
But I had not.
Now I had a chance to do the same, only this time, the stakes were larger. I didn’t know enough about what I was dealing with, but if I acted now, I wouldn’t be doing it for a job, or to protect only those closest to me. I’d be doing it for reasons beyond me.
Cael watched me as if understanding my struggle. The Hjan’s body tensed, and I detected that he would act soon.
I considered what I could do with him, but leaving him here, letting him live… there was too much danger there. I’d seen what the Hjan wanted and what they were willing to do to achieve their goals.
I might not understand all that I faced, but I knew enough to recognize the Hjan couldn’t be a part of it.
As the man started to spin, I jammed my knife into his back, pulling up with as much force as I could. He managed to turn, pulling the knife free from my hand. Blood burbled from his lips. “A mistake, assassin. You’ve chosen, and now you’ll be hunted, too. What are you against what is coming?”
What was I? I was a man willing to do what I could. Not because I wanted to, or because I wanted power, but because the alternatives were worse. That had to be enough.
He lunged, but I was ready for it and stepped to the side.
As he fell forward, I grabbed the knife from his back and stabbed him a second time. He stopped moving.
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