Always Have Hope (Emerson Book 3)

by Maureen Driscoll

  That made her giggle. Perhaps she wasn’t terrible at this. “Truly? Simply from what I was doing?”

  “There was nothing simple about it. You drive me to distraction, sweetheart. But I believe you should probably end your explorations for tonight.”

  Win was disappointed. She’d enjoyed getting to know his body. He was sheer muscle, yet she’d felt no fear. He could hurt her badly if he chose to do so, but she knew he never would. And, though it was sinfully wanton of her, she wanted to make him spill his seed.

  But he didn’t want her to explore him anymore that night. And he’d already lain back down. Perhaps she should lie next to him again. But then again, maybe she shouldn’t.

  “I will end my explorations,” she said reluctantly.

  “Good. That is probably for the best.” But he didn’t sound like he thought it was good or for the best.

  “But I was wondering,” she said, “whether you might like to explore me.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  Alex couldn’t believe what was happening. He wanted to support Win any way he could. But just watching her tentatively explore him had not only touched his heart, it had made him achingly hard. He’d come close to exploding in her hand. He could only have imagined what a traumatic event that would have been for her. So he’d had to end the most pleasurable, meaningful interlude of his life to ensure they wouldn’t do anything more than she was prepared to do.

  It had been difficult to suggest they stop. But he knew it was best for Win. He was looking forward to spending the night by her side. He’d had a lifetime of lonely nights. And now he would go to sleep with the woman he loved lying next to him. It would be the first night of many. He didn’t need anything more than that.

  But then she’d shyly asked if he wanted to explore her. Of course he did. He couldn’t think of anything he’d rather do. However, how was he ever going to get to sleep after touching her beautiful body?

  Yet he wasn’t about to turn down the offer.

  Win lay down and he sat up. She was a bit stiff and he had a feeling she might be reconsidering her offer. It was up to him to show her a taste of the pleasure they could have with each other. She’d liked it when he’d kissed her neck, so he did that again. He lay to the side of her, careful to keep his weight off her. He didn’t want her to feel trapped. He kissed her neck until she was breathing quicker.

  She was so responsive. He would nurture that over the many nights ahead of them until she wanted him as much as he wanted her.

  And oh how he wanted her.

  He inched his way downward slowly, prepared to stop at any time. He could feel her trembling beneath his touch and he prayed it was passion and not fear. Judging from her dazed expression, she appeared to be enjoying herself.

  He reached the tie of her nightrail and loosened it, revealing the center of her breasts. If he untied it all the way, she’d be completely revealed to him. He looked up as if to ask permission. She blushed, but nodded.

  Inwardly he cheered.

  He spread apart the fabric to reveal the most exquisite breasts he’d ever seen. Rounded, firm. They would fit into his hands perfectly. Her nipples were a dusky rose color and he couldn’t wait to taste them – though he doubted she would allow him to go that far tonight.

  He ran a finger lightly over them and she rose up beneath him, biting her lip. He took her left breast into his hand and the sheer weight of it was his undoing.

  He slowly lowered his head, then kissed her nipple. She moaned and reached up, but stopped short of touching him.

  “Touch me, love. The last thing I want is for you to feel you must remain still with your arms at your side.”

  “Truly?”

  “Truly.”

  She did reach for him then, brushing her fingers down his arm as he lowered his mouth to her nipple again and gently began to suckle her.

  This time her groan of pleasure was unmistakable.

  He alternated between laving and suckling her, moving from one perfect breast to the other. She was pressing herself into him. Her breathing was ragged and her moans were music to his ears.

  He moved one hand to her lovely leg, slowly pulling the nightrail up inch by inch. When he finally put his hand on her bare thigh, he moaned. It was smooth and shapely and would inhabit his fantasies the rest of the night.

  He had to see it.

  He moved down her body, touching everything he could, but also looking up at her along the way. He didn’t want to press her further than she wanted to go. She looked drugged with pleasure and more than a little curious.

  He finally reached her leg and gazed at the long limb before him. Perfectly shaped. Perfectly formed for him. He tapped on her thigh, hoping she would open for him. After a moment’s hesitation, she did.

  He echoed her movement from earlier, placing himself between her legs. His cock was jutting outward, quivering at being so close to where it wanted to be.

  So close to home.

  But he relentlessly ignored his need, then leaned down to kiss her thigh. Then he kissed a bit further up. He turned his lips to the inside of her thigh, then alternated kissing first her left leg, then her right, pushing her nightrail further and further up.

  He savored the sweet scent of her. He was but inches away from the heart of her, when her hand came down to his head. She’d stopped him, but was also running her fingers through his hair.

  “What are you doing?” she asked, her voice a hoarse rasp.

  “I’d like to taste you sweetheart, but I’ll stop if you want me to.”

  “Where do you want to taste me?”

  He lightly brushed a finger through her curls. They were so wet he groaned.

  “You cannot taste me there! It isn’t done.”

  “It is. I very much want to do this, if you’ll allow it.”

  She considered the request, but looked dubious. “I cannot imagine why you would want to be there.”

  “Just trust that I do.” Keeping his eyes on her, he slowly lowered his head and licked her.

  She bucked so hard beneath him that he had to laugh. “Do I take it you like that?”

  “I cannot talk about that, other than to say yes. Very much so.”

  That was all the permission he needed to indulge himself fully. He hovered over her, smelling her sweet essence and leisurely tasting her. Her hands were decidedly not at her sides, as she caressed his head, urging him closer to her.

  He gladly obliged. He spread her legs a bit more and she allowed them to part as wide as he wished. He put his hands under her luscious bottom, raising her up to his feasting mouth. He let his tongue explore the velvety treasure open before him. And when he dipped inside her she groaned.

  “Alex. Oh, Alex.”

  Since that was neither a question nor a command to stop, he felt perfectly at ease continuing his ministrations. Slowly increasing his movements. Her hips began to move with him. Faster and faster and more insistent. He was harder than he could ever remember being. And while there was nothing he’d love better than to plunge into her, now was not the time. He didn’t want to interrupt her, as he led her to the climax she was destined for.

  She was writhing and couldn’t get enough. For the moment, she had no more reservations about her behavior. No more fears. She was simply giving in to her need. She was giving herself to him and his safe keeping.

  The way it should be.

  He plunged his tongue inside her three times and she went over the edge to ecstasy. She screamed his name so loudly he was thankful they were in the remote guest wing.

  He had never been happier or more sexually sated, despite the ache in his cock.

  She was on her back, not quite conscious, wearing the most glorious smile. But he wasn’t done yet. Not by a long shot.

  He rolled her over, intent on getting to know every inch of her, but then he saw them.

  She must have sensed the moment he did, for she tensed. The afterglow of her climax halted because of the secrets she co
ncealed on her back.

  She quickly rolled onto her back and he hated her look of panic and shame. And he was having none of it, for he rolled her over again, determined to study what he’d only glimpsed.

  “No, please,” she said. “I don’t want to spoil it. Or to…”

  “To what?”

  “Give you an abhorrence of me.”

  That was the last straw.

  He gently turned her on her back. “I want you to promise you’ll never say such a ridiculous thing to me again. An abhorrence of you? How could you ever get that foolish idea?”

  “They’re so ugly. And I….let it happen.”

  “No, my love. You did not ‘let it happen.’ You survived it. You stayed strong, you protected your family and now we’re together. I would kill that bastard with my own hands if I could. Words cannot express how sorry I am you went through that.” His voice cracked and he realized he was about to cry in front of her.

  She looked horrified. “Please do not cry. I couldn’t abide that.”

  “You couldn’t abide it! That bastard burned you with what looked like a cigar. I feel powerless that I cannot rid you of the memories of how much it must have hurt.”

  “The scars are so ugly,” she said. “There are five of them. It was how he commemorated our anniversary.”

  “Nothing about you could ever be ugly,” he said, as he lay back and took her in his arms again. “And it is not just because of your physical beauty. It is because of who you are and what you have endured. I wish I could have prevented what he did. I wish I could wipe it from your memory. But all I can do is promise to give you a life filled with love. You will never have cause to fear me – or anyone. For I will move heaven and earth to keep you safe and happy.”

  He kissed her and wiped away both their tears.

  “I love you, dear, sweet Alex. And I promise you a lifetime of love and happiness. But I do have one request of you tonight.”

  “Anything, dearest.”

  “Can you join with me as husband and wife?”

  His heart skipped a beat for he never dreamed she would be ready for that momentous step. Not this soon. “We can wait, love. We have a lifetime ahead of us.”

  “Mayhap you can wait,” she said with a wicked smile. “But I cannot. After what you did earlier…” She couldn’t put it into words, but her blush said all he needed to know. “I would like to see what it’s like to make love with you.”

  “If you are certain…”

  “I am.”

  He needed no further convincing, though he cautioned himself that he would need to be ready to stop if it was too much for her. His body, of course, hoped it would be unnecessary.

  As he began to move over her, she tensed. “We should stop, sweetheart,” he said, as he began to move off her.

  “No, please,” she said, clutching his back, holding him to her.

  He wasn’t sure if he should listen to her. But she seemed intent on keeping him there. He kissed her and as she eagerly matched him, he gradually lowered himself onto her, letting her get used to his weight.

  The kiss was passionate. She was running her hands over him to everywhere she could reach. He was slowly getting into position, lying on top of her but still shielding her from his entire weight.

  She was no longer tense. Or, at least she was no longer tense from fear. He could feel her letting passion take over. He gently parted her legs with his. He lightly caressed her curls with his hand, pressing first one finger into her then the other. She was so wet and hot he had to groan.

  Yet he was still prepared to stop.

  “Alex,” she whispered. “Please. Now.”

  The words he’d been waiting for.

  He slowly pressed into her. She was tight, but welcoming. The heat enveloped him and he wanted to weep with pleasure. This was the woman he would call wife. The lady he’d spend the rest of his life with.

  He eased in, inch by inch. He felt her welcome him into her heat. And she began kissing him as he merged with her body.

  It was just as well, since he’d already welcomed her into his soul.

  Once he was fully seated, he waited for her to catch her breath. It was better than he ever could have dreamed. He began to move slowly. Languid strokes in and out. And he rose up enough to watch her. They looked into each other’s eyes and for the first time the act of love was just that. Love.

  She reached up to pull his head to hers and they kissed until the motion became too fast to be contained. Breathing rapidly, they continued to ride until Alex could feel Win rise up beneath him. She pulled him to her as she crested. She was barely there when he finally let go, filling her with his seed. Giving her a physical promise of his love.

  He collapsed onto her. Too spent to even hold himself up. Belatedly remembering his manners, he moved to the side, pulling her with him. She lay on top of him while he was still inside.

  For long moments they lay there saying nothing. Just caressing each other and trading kisses.

  Finally, she spoke. “I did not dream it could be that way.”

  “It has never been that way for me, until now.”

  And it was true. No one had ever come close. He’d spent much of his life looking for a family to call his own. Now he had Win and, God willing, they would have children. He had everything he wanted in his arms.

  It was no wonder that the two of them drifted off to a sated, blissful sleep.

  For they had both come home.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  Win couldn’t remember being as happy as she was right now. Lying next to Alex with her head nestled on his chest. Their night of lovemaking was replaying in her mind. He’d awakened her twice in the night – and she’d awakened him once – to revel in each other. She had no idea lovemaking could be this pleasurable.

  As she lay there half-awake she wondered what he would think if she woke him with a kiss. She knew she must return to her room before she was discovered, but one more time wasn’t too much to ask, was it?

  She raised her head to look at him, only to find him smiling back at her. “Good morning,” he said.

  “It is a very good morning.”

  The moment was unfortunately interrupted by an urgent knock at the door. They both looked at it with alarm.

  There was another knock, then a frantic whisper from the other side of the door. “Mr. Lewis?” asked Rose from the hall. “Mr. Lewis, I regret disturbing you, but is Win there, by any chance?”

  Win could all but see Rose’s blush from the other side of the door. How did her sister know she was there? And why was she coming to them so early in the morning? Was something wrong?

  Win and Alex quickly donned their dressing gowns.

  “Do you want me to answer?” Alex asked Win quietly. “You could hide in the dressing room.”

  “I cannot lie to Rose. She apparently knows I’m not in my bedchamber. She might as well know the truth, since we’re to be married, anyway. Unless…you haven’t changed your mind, have you?”

  “Of course not,” he said, as he kissed her. “And I’m quite relieved you haven’t, either. Perhaps you should answer the door and I’ll remain back here.”

  “Excellent idea,” said Win, as she pulled her dressing gown closed. But it wasn’t until she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror that she realized how wanton she looked. Her hair was loose and looked like it had been styled by rats. Her skin had a glow she’d never seen before. And she couldn’t keep the smile from her face. It was a good sign that Alex couldn’t, either. She wasn’t certain her younger sister should be a witness to this. But then, if Rose had come looking for her in Alex’s room, Win supposed there was no use pretending she’d only been there to borrow a book.

  Win opened the door to find a fully-dressed Rose and a hallway full of light. “What time is it?”

  “Half past eleven,” said Rose, as she entered the room, then pulled the door shut behind her. She looked up to see Alex and quickly looked away again, blushing p
rofusely.

  “It can’t be that late,” said Win in a panic. “It’s still dark in here.”

  “Yes, well, I expect that illusion owes a great deal to the quality of Rosalind’s curtains. Colin took it upon himself to go to your room at eleven of the clock, only to find you weren’t there. Ava and I tried to convince him you were only out for a walk. But then he, Nick and James became so concerned for your safety that they were about to go out and search for you.”

  “Oh, dear!” This wasn’t the way she wanted her brothers to find out about her betrothal. “Do they know where I am?”

  Rose looked most uncomfortable. “I’m afraid they do. When they realized Jane had purposely not checked on Mr. Lewis this morning, they put two and two together and now they’re waiting in the formal sitting room on the first floor to speak to Mr. Lewis. Oh, Win, I’m so sorry about this.”

  “Nonsense,” said Win, as she squeezed her sister’s hand. “I just regret that my actions have placed you in this awkward position. You shouldn’t have to see your future brother-in-law in conditions such as this.”

  “Future brother-in-law!” said Rose with a grin as she hugged her sister. “I knew it!” Then she turned to Alex. “I am so happy you’re joining the family, disreputable lot though we are.”

  “I’m excited by the prospect,” he said. “Though it remains to be seen whether your brothers will allow me the pleasure.”

  “Oh, they will,” said Rose. “They love Win too much to deny her happiness.” Then with another hug for Win and a curtsy for Alex, she left.

  Win turned to her dear future husband. “Are you ready for this?”

  “It depends. Is the formal sitting room where his grace keeps his extra pistols? I could be in trouble if it is.”

  “Nonsense,” she said as she kissed him. “We’ll get dressed and face them together.”

  “But it will still be me they want to shoot.”

  *

  Alex couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this nervous. Perhaps the first time he’d tried a case. But that was different. He was very good at his profession – his former profession – and excellent preparation was the best way to keep nerves at bay.