by Wendy Vella
Leo knew only the small pieces of information that Nick had shared of Beth’s life. Her father was a good, kind man, but the mother had been a bitch. He knew the cousins had never been close, until Grace came into Nick’s life a few years ago; then everything had changed.
“My father decided to host a few friends for a weekend. Five couples, and when they arrived, one of them had brought a nephew. He was twenty-five.”
She was looking at her gloves, but Leo could feel the tension in her from across the carriage. His mind leapt ahead, trying to come up with scenarios for what she was about to tell him.
“He was a nice man. Funny, and polite... or so I believed. We became friends, Leo.”
“You’re a beautiful woman, Beth, I imagine you were the same at fifteen.”
She threw him a look before continuing.
“He stayed one more night after the other guests left, as he was to travel to London with my father the following day on business.”
She inhaled deeply, and the tension in the carriage increased. Her face was tight, almost as if the words were causing her pain. He wanted to hold her, take away the hurt, but he needed the entire story to understand what was happening. It cost him a great deal to sit still.
“I-I w-was in my room. It was close to midday. He and my father were to go hunting before leaving. He entered while I was reading. There was no knock, suddenly he was just there. I asked him what he wanted, he said me.”
“Christ.” Leo knew what was coming next. To hell with sitting still. Reaching across the carriage, he lifted her and resettled her on his lap.
“Leo! What are you doing?”
“Holding you. Now continue.”
“I-I can’t simply sit on your lap.”
“Well you are, and no one can see, so continue.”
“But it is not right.”
“Are you unhappy because you are scared of being in my arms?”
“I am not scared of you, Leo. But I have never sat like this with a man before.”
“I will never hurt you, Beth. I only wish to comfort you.”
She didn’t reply, so he simply held her until he felt her relax. When her cheek rested on his chest, he exhaled.
“Since my father passed, I have never been held by anyone.”
Her words were more a whisper, and his heart ached for the young girl who had needed holding.
“Do you feel able to continue?”
“He was too strong, I could not fight him,” she whispered.
“Beth.” Leo said the word into her hair as he tried to surround her with his body. “It’s not your fault, sweetheart.”
“H-he hurt me.”
She cried then, into his chest, and he had never felt so helpless. Her tears fell silently, and he could do nothing but offer her comfort. To have been violated at such an age…. Leo understood now so much about the woman who sat in his arms. Her dislike of waltzing, the distance she put between herself and men.
“Tell me all of it, Beth.” Leo brushed a kiss on her head. “I want to help you, but to do that I must have the entire story.”
“My father came and found me crying. He held me as you are, and I told him everything. He then said he loved me and would return soon. I never saw him again.”
Leo remembered Nick saying Beth’s father had been killed in a hunting accident.
“It wasn’t a hunting accident that killed him?”
“No, it was him, I know it was. But he disappeared, and my father was found dead. My aunt arrived soon after, and I told her. She said we must tell no one, as nothing good could come of doing so. I’m not entirely sure she believed me anyway, and didn’t put my words down to those of a grieving daughter.”
“She had no right to discard your words.” Leo fought his anger back; she did not need that from him now.
“She was kind to me, Leo, and as time went on and my grief eased, I realized she was most likely right. Who would believe me? My father appeared to have fallen on his gun, and there was no sign of him... that man.”
“But what of this man? Surely you feared he would reappear?”
“My aunt told me he had left for France, and that his sister was desolate. I was relieved he was gone, and tried to put it behind me.”
“You have lived with this until now?”
She nodded, and Leo held her close as they rolled through London.
“And you help those girls because no one helped you, and you know how they are suffering, don’t you, Beth?”
“Yes. I don’t want them to be alone.”
“Do you want me to release you?” Leo said the words as she moved. “Am I frightening you?”
She shook her head. “I’ve never been frightened of you.”
Simple words, yet the relief in hearing them was absolute. It was then he realized that what he felt for this woman was more than he’d ever felt for another.
Chapter Twenty-Two
It was the truth that she felt warm and safe in Leo’s arms. And his response to what she had told him had felt good. He did not blame her, as her aunt had said people would. In fact, Leo had believed her without hesitation.
“You are safe with me. I would never hurt you, Beth,” Leo said once more.
“I know, but it is probably best I sit on the seat now.”
“I like holding you.”
And she liked him holding her.
“Tell me the rest of the story now.”
“The day after the Tottingham ball I received a note stating that the writer knew my secrets. I then received more, with threats and blackmail. I think it is him, Leo. As only four people know what happened that day. My aunt, father, me, and this man. He wants money, and if I don’t hand it over, he will harm someone I care for. He mentioned you, Nick, and Grace. I cannot allow that to happen.”
“Nick will keep Grace safe, and I can look after myself, and you. The church,” he added, “you were delivering money?”
Beth looked up at him. “Yes.”
His body was pressed hard to hers. Warmth surrounded her, and she actually believed, sitting there like that, that he would keep her safe.
“But what can be done, Leo?”
“Plenty of things, but for now, tell me his name.”
Beth wasn’t sure why she hesitated; perhaps it was the thought of speaking his name out loud. For so long just thinking the words had struck fear into her.
“Mr. Lloyd... Jason,” Beth added with a shudder.
“It’s all right now.” Leo held her close. “He won’t hurt you again.”
“For so long I slept with my father’s pistol under my bed. I only stopped a few years ago. I wanted to kill him for what he’d done to me, not just to my body, but taking away my father and leaving me alone. I even planned how, if he came back to England.”
“I’ll kill him for you.”
The words were spoken calmly, as if he was requesting milk in his tea.
“You cannot do that, Leo. I will not be responsible for losing you also because of that man.”
“You won’t lose me, and I will kill him if I find him, and no one will know I have done so.”
“I-I can’t believe you are speaking of killing someone so calmly.” She looked up at him. His jaw was clenched, face set in anger, and saw the ruthless man he could be when provoked.
“He deserves to die for hurting you. No other justice will suffice.” He ran a thumb over her cheek. “I’m sorry he caused you pain, Beth. Sorrier than I can say. And for him to take your father’s life at a time when you needed him the most, was yet another blow.”
“Thank you for believing me, Leo.”
He touched her again. “Did you think I wouldn’t?”
“Yes, that was one of the main reasons I never spoke up. Who would believe me, as my aunt said? She also believed my reputation would be ruined if it came to my word against his, and no man would want me afterward. Of course that suited me, as I never wished to marry.”
“She was wrong, a man w
ould be a fool not to want you.”
Their eyes caught, and held. She read the compassion and tenderness in his, and knowing it was for her made warmth flood through her.
“Beth.” His whisper was ragged.
She braced a hand on his chest and closed the distance. Touching her lips to his, she kissed him softly and waited for the fear. It never came. “Leo,” she breathed. Beth had never instigated contact with another, but she wanted that now... wanted that with Leo.
His hands held her waist, easing her closer still, so her breasts were pressed to his chest. Then he took control of the kiss. Deeper… in seconds Beth was completely under his spell. Her body felt hot, and she wanted more... wanted to crawl into him and have him chase every thought from her head but one... him.
“Stop me,” he said into her neck. “I have no control where you are concerned.”
“Don’t stop, Leo.”
“I don’t want to scare you... not now, after what you have told me.”
That he would say those words meant so much to her. He would stop if she asked him.
“I am not scared, Leo, I have no wish for you to stop. Your touch makes me feel alive for the first time in my life. When you hold me like this, I forget everything but what you make me feel.”
He pulled the satin ribbon of her bonnet and removed it, throwing it across the carriage. Opening her cloak, he eased it from her.
“Just kisses, sweetheart. I have no wish to frighten you.”
Beth lifted her chin, and he kissed his way around the front to her chest. “I am not frightened, Leo.”
The feel of his lips on her skin was wonderful, the sensations he was creating inside her, bliss. Beth didn’t know where this was taking them, or if they had a future, only that right now at this moment she needed this. He touched her above the neckline of her dress, tracing a finger around the edge, making her shiver. More, she thought... much more.
She shuddered as his fingers slipped beneath the fabric and caressed her, tracing the swells of her breasts. She arched closer.
“I have only so much restraint, Beth.”
His jaw was clenched, the muscles bunching, and she knew he wanted her as she did him.
“Please, Leo. For so long I have abhorred a man’s touch. Shuddered when they were too near. For some reason that is not the case with you, so I wish now to get closer; please don’t stop.”
“I don’t want to frighten you.” He cupped a cheek. “It would cause me a great deal of pain to see fear in your eyes when you look at me.”
“You won’t.” She turned her mouth into his hand and placed a kiss on the palm. “I will tell you if I feel fear, Leo.”
He looked at her for long, heated seconds, and then kissed her softly, so soft she felt it to her soul.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Leo wanted Beth with a ferocity that should scare him. After Harriet, he’d vowed to never allow another woman to make him vulnerable, but somehow this one had slipped under his guard and done just that.
“I want you, Beth. Very much.” He bent to kiss the full flesh above her bodice; her answer was to shiver. “You must promise to tell me if anything I do scares you.”
“I will.”
There would be no going back from this point, Leo realized as he brushed his lips over hers. She was his now, as he was hers. Surprisingly, these thoughts gave him only pleasure.
Easing her bodice lower, he touched his lips to the sweet-smelling slope of one breast. Her fingers went to his nape, and just that small contact had his body tightening. Tugging the bodice lower, Leo bared her lush breasts.
“Are you all right?” He made himself drag his eyes from what he had exposed to look at her.
“Oh yes,” she whispered. “Don’t stop, Leo.”
He licked his way down one slope and up the other, until he felt her arch again; only then did he take her nipple into his mouth.
“Leo.” Just one deep, throaty word. The name he’d used since birth, but the sensual tone Beth used made his head spin.
He continued to torment her breasts until her breathing grew rapid; only then did Leo slide a hand under her skirts. Stroking her leg through her stocking, he raised the hem as his fingers climbed higher.
“Do you want more, Beth?”
“Yessss!”
The word was a demand, her eyes clear of fear, but filled with sensual heat.
He circled her thigh and moved inward to touch the soft curls between her legs. Stroking them, he moved down, and caressed the soft, damp petals.
“Kiss me, Beth.”
She did. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she took everything he gave her and more. Their kisses grew heated as he felt her body tense. Pushing a finger slowly inside her wet heat, he was rewarded with another shudder. He continued to thrust in and out, then used his thumb to rub the small, hard bud between her thighs, and she came apart in his arms.
Leo kissed her until the last shudder had eased, and then simply held her against him while she recovered.
“Leo?”
“Sssh, it’s all right, Beth.” He kissed her softly.
“I-I have never wanted to touch a man before you.” Her finger stroked his cheek, and began to map his features. “But now, I dearly wish to touch you.”
His body reacted to her words, but he did not follow through with the urge.
“Now is not the time for that. Now was for you.”
She sat upright on his thighs, her lovely bottom pressing into his groin and causing him a great deal of discomfort. Her hair had come down, and her exquisite breasts were exposed, nipples hard from his touch. She looked like a bloody siren, and nothing like the uptight society woman he had once believed he knew.
“But what about you? Surely you need release? Even one as inexperienced as I knows that.”
“No, that can’t happen.” He pulled up her bodice, then lifted her off him and attempted to lower her onto the opposite seat. She, however, had other ideas, and lifted her skirts, and climbed right back on, making his eyes cross, as now she was straddling his thighs. “I have experienced it before,” he added. Of course he knew right then and there that with Beth it would be different.
“I understand you are concerned for me, Leo, and that after what I told you, you believe me fragile. For so long I was, but lately, with you, I’ve realized I am different now. I allowed him to instill fear in me for too long. Allowed him to force me into hiding. But no more. What we just did was beyond words. Is it wrong to want more, and for you to experience that also?”
She touched his lips with a finger, tracing the tight line he had them pressed into.
“Surely you can see I am all right. In fact, I believe I am better than all right.” She gave him a small smile, which to his mind was just a touch wicked. “I wish to experience it all.”
“No!” Hell no. He tried to remove her, but she simply wrapped her arms around his neck and held on. “Beth, let go, this... we can’t do that.”
“Why? I am an adult of twenty-seven years. I know what I want, Leo, and surprisingly that is you.” She smiled again. “I really want to be close to you, and that is a joy to me, after the years of fearing I would never feel this. I will likely never get such an opportunity again.”
“But we cannot do that.” His words finished on a groan as she moved closer, so he could feel her body pressed to his. “Christ!”
As if realizing she was inciting him further, she inched closer still.
“You’re innocent,” he tried again. “I have no wish to frighten you.”
Her hands pushed his jacket aside, and she started on his buttons, opening his waistcoat. Beth then worked on the buttons of his shirt, and he let her, because the thought of her hands on his body was an experience he wanted, and he would surely go to hell for it.
“I do not touch people, usually.”
Leo watched as she focused on his chest, and then the tips of her fingers were on his skin, and he could do nothing to stop the shudder that roc
ked through him.
“But I want to touch you, Leo, so very much.”
“You are emotional.” He tried to reason with her... and himself. “What we have discussed, and what you have suffered—”
“Yes, I know I should feel like that, but here with you, right now, I feel neither fear or regret. I want you, Leo.”
She placed her palms on his chest, and ran both hands up his body. Leo lost all rational thought.
“So be it.” Cupping the back of her head, he took her lips in a deep, hungry kiss. He lowered her bodice again. Cupping a breast, he ran his thumb over the nipple. She shivered in response.
He opened his breeches, and took one of her hands in his. “Feel me, Beth.”
She did as he asked, and he bit back a moan as she traced a finger up and down the length of him, then wrapped them around him.
“So warm,” she whispered. “So hard.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he gritted out.
“You won’t.”
He touched her again, stroking the bud between her thighs until her breathing was faster, like his.
“Take me inside you, sweetheart. Get on your knees, and lower yourself onto me. The control is yours.” Leo held himself still as she did as he asked. He watched her face as she rose, her lip clamped between her teeth in concentration.
“I-I will need your help, Leo.”
Gripping her hips, he helped her down, felt her body slowly take his. She was tight, as he’d expected, but he did not feel her stiffen, although he was prepared to end this if she did. The first sign of fear, and he would stop, even if the action would cost him a great deal.
“Easy, Beth. There is no hurry, take time to adjust.”
He cupped her face, forcing her to look at him, watching every expression as it came and went. The small flinch, then wonder as he slid deeper inside her. He closed the last few inches by raising his hips to meet her.
“Do you feel all right, Beth?”
Leo wanted to move, wanted to grip her hips and take her hard; the need was great, but he fought it.
“I feel no fear.” She whispered the words against his lips. “You are not holding me down, I am in control as you said. Oh, Leo, it is quite wonderful.”
