Luke sighed. “You can’t trust anything he says.”
She shook her head. “You’re only making things worse.”
“And I mean to.” He stood and pulled her to her feet. “Go back to London with your parents. I want you, at least, to have a life again. And you will. It may take time, but you will.”
She looked up at him from under long, damp lashes. “You mean, you won’t?”
Damn his own hide for revealing too much. It wouldn’t help her to know that he’d suffer.
“Will you miss me that much, Luke Callahan, that you won’t have a life without me?” she persisted.
There was a long beat of silence while he considered what to tell her. He looked into her eyes and saw all his hope for happiness there. When she was gone, that hope would turn to dust.
How he wished she’d never inspired it in him in the first place!
“You’re afraid to say it, aren’t you?” Her voice was almost triumphant. “But it’s too late. You said it. You admitted that you’d have no life without me. You care about me that much.”
He glowered at her. He’d nothing left with which to defend himself. She’d taken it all.
All.
His entire life was in her hands, and he was suddenly angry. “I was fine before you came, do you understand?”
“I-I know, and I’m sorry—”
“You wrecked all the notions I had about how to live.” His wall was in pieces now, crumbled all around him.
“Truly, I’m sorry.”
“Do you think I can go on, knowing you’ve given yourself to a scoundrel?”
“You don’t have to.” She grabbed his arm. “You haven’t considered another option. I’ll run away with you. I don’t care about my title and wealth. I don’t care that you’re a groom and I’m a lady. Let’s run away. Let’s go now. I love you. And even though you haven’t said it outright, I know you love me.”
He pulled away from her. “We can’t do that.” It was the most ridiculous notion he’d ever heard, and it riled him that she was playing so free and easy with her life.
“Why not?” Her face was still alight with that damned hope. “Of course we can!”
“No.” He knew it down to his very bones. “No, we can’t.”
“Why not?”
Because he wasn’t worthy of her, that was why. Because he didn’t deserve the privilege of even being near such an angel, a tender young woman with so much love in her heart that she was willing to throw away the grand life she was meant to live to be with an ex-boxer, a soldier, and a stableman.
She didn’t know it, but he’d crush her. He was a man with no understanding of how to love. He didn’t know how to live among people and give them what they needed. He was a walking disaster who’d only bring her pain.
He swallowed. “You’re not going to throw away your life on me.”
“I won’t be; I’d be gaining it,” she said with such fervor it seared his soul.
“You’d be throwing it away,” he insisted. “And as such, I won’t consider running away with you. Do you understand?”
She stared at him, her face white.
Good. Let her hate him. “And I won’t let you marry Halsey,” he added roughly.
She shook her head. “You can’t stop me. I will marry him, damn you! I will!” She pushed on his chest. “If you won’t run away with me, that’s what I’ll do.”
“Janice—”
“So which will it be? You and me, together as husband and wife? Or me … the wife of the man sleeping above us right now?”
“Neither,” he said. “You’ll go back to London an unmarried lady. And you’ll wait for a husband who can treat you the way you deserve to be treated: with respect and love.”
She gave a short laugh. “You’re not that powerful, Luke. You may be able to crush my love under your feet—for that’s what it is, love—but you can’t make me do anything I don’t want to do.”
“I can talk to your father about Halsey—”
“Yes, and I’ll tell him you’re a highly unreliable source of information. You’re a groom in the stables. A disgruntled one.”
Frustration made him furious. “Listen to me,” he said, holding her tight. “Trust me when I say you’re not safe married to Halsey. Not only is he a danger to you; I plan to bring him down. And I don’t want you suffering with him.”
“Bring him down?” Janice gave a short laugh. “How do you propose to do that? And why? What has he ever done to you? Does this have anything to do with your mother and her mistreatment? Because I’m sorry to tell you—truly I am—but that diary was destroyed. The dowager gave it to the gardener to throw into the stove house oven. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t get you a message.”
It took everything in him not to react.
His mission … gone.
The nuns.
Still vulnerable.
His mother and father …
Unavenged.
Janice must have sensed his devastation. “Look,” she said softly. “Even if you did find evidence of your mother’s mistreatment in the journal, the current duke isn’t responsible.” He stared at her, unseeing. “Listen to me, Luke!”
He focused back in, reluctantly.
“The one responsible would be someone else,” Janice said, “and except for the dowager, the other members of the family are dead.” She took a deep breath. “I did learn something of interest about this family’s past. Something huge. But it appears to have nothing to do with your mother.”
“What?”
“About that drowning … the dowager said that Halsey’s father, Russell, left his brother, Everett, to die.”
Luke’s entire body was blindsided by a new wave of shock at hearing actual details of a family picture he’d been barely able to piece together.
“I get the impression Everett’s death was by neglect,” Janice said. “Russell simply walked away from the pond as his brother struggled. It was all I could get out of the dowager.”
Luke shook his head. What a family he came from. Such evil. Such cruelty. And his two parents both appeared to have been victims of it.
“I know it will be difficult to move on considering that your mother’s history here apparently wasn’t pleasant,” Janice said, “but I must remind you of a simple fact: Halsey’s a powerful duke who can’t be held responsible for what happened to her. You’re a groom with no influence whatsoever.”
“Am I?” He held her close. “Have I no influence over you?” She turned her face aside, but he turned her back. “You know I do.”
She said nothing, but her eyes were stormy.
“And I plan to use it,” he said. “You’re going to say yes to me right now. And later today, you’ll say no to the blackguard upstairs when he delivers his official marriage proposal. You’ll remember what I told you—that you can never be his. And it’s because you’re mine. You’ve made me admit it. Now face the consequences.”
Chapter Thirty
Luke slanted his mouth over Janice’s and kissed her fiercely.
She wanted to resist him. She did. She was furious at him. “I hate you for not running away with me,” she whispered.
“But you love this,” he said, caressing her breast. “You love what I can do to you. Admit it.”
“Never.”
It was cold in the cellar, but heat emanated from both of them. The lantern light threw the shadow of their bodies in profile on the cellar wall, and the dusky odor of earth reminded Janice how primal was her attraction to this workingman. According to society, he wasn’t fit to look her in the eye.
But he did now. And he did it as if he was not only her equal. For this moment, he was her master.
“Take off your night rail,” he told her.
He was clearly giving her no other choice.
She stared at him a long moment. His eyes held so much in their sapphire blue depths. But he refused to let her see.
“I’ll agree to your game.” She
took a step back. “But beware. I’m playing my own.” She pulled her gown over her head. “This is what you’ll be missing,” she taunted him, “as you won’t run away with me.”
The chill air hit her nakedness like a bucket of cold water, but the look in his eye made her hot with wanting him.
“Damned right I won’t run away with you,” he murmured. Slowly, he came up to her and laid a kiss on her shoulder. Then he cupped her bottom, none too gently, and rubbed his rough man’s hand over it. “Those lacy drawers … where are they?”
“I left them off,” she said, “for you.” She paused a beat. “Idiot. You could have this every night. Every day.”
“You’re the fool, young lady,” he said into her ear, “if you even consider for one second marrying that excuse for a human being upstairs.” He teased open her lips with his tongue and explored her mouth with rakish abandon, the way he had the very first day they’d met. And then he moved a hand to her breast, rolling his palm in a circle over the taut tip.
More! her body shouted.
Her back arched, bringing her bare belly into contact with his male hardness, frustratingly concealed by his breeches. When he leaned down and suckled her nipple with his supple mouth, a shot of pure pleasure raced to her feminine core like lightning. And when he put a hand between her legs, inserted two fingers inside her, and rubbed her hidden pearl with the pad of the same thumb that had wiped away one of her tears, she sucked in a breath and moaned, her pelvis rolling over his fingers again and again.
“Luke,” she whispered, “you know you have me. You can have all of me. Why are you torturing me so?”
But he wouldn’t answer. Instead, he picked her up, laid her on the blanket, and knelt before her. The ground was hard beneath her back, but she felt no pain, only an exquisite sort of agony. She’d go through anything for him.
Anything.
He tore his shirt over his head, and she basked in the sight of his muscles—they bulged enticingly on his upper arms, made armor out of his chest, and rippled over his taut belly. She reached up to touch him, but with barely the touch of his finger to her breastbone he signaled that she must lie back down again. She did, the place between her legs moist and aching for his touch. But he rolled to his feet and, with total control and confidence, undid his breeches and stepped out of them.
“Luke!” she cried. “Please. Come here, and let me touch you.”
“Talk is cheap.” His chiseled mouth tilted on one side. “Show me that you want me to.”
She was afraid. But she lifted her hand to her own breast and cupped it. “Here,” she murmured. “I want your mouth here.”
The cool air pebbled her nipple, but Luke didn’t move.
“Is that all?” He crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re very much a lady. We don’t belong together, you and I. I’m not a gentleman, and never will be. Too many nights I’ve slept outside, beneath trees, in back alleys. I’ve heard people rutting in dark corners, and I’ve seen people knifed. Pretty pretending is for people like you, people who can afford to pay off the rest of the world to conceal its ills from you. I don’t want to be a part of that world. Where I am—as lonely as it is—is real. This is who I am, my lady.” He slid his hand once up and down his erection. “A man of simple pleasures. A man who wants to take you deep into the heart of carnal pleasure, so deep you’ll lose that mask you wear when you’re afraid.”
She couldn’t look away. “But I told you I’d run away with you!”
“You want to run away with me so you can hide.”
“No.”
“But it’s why you came here. You’re not willing to stand up to the world you already know and claim your rightful place in it. I won’t have any part of hiding who you are. Ever.”
“You’re wrong,” she said. “I might have been afraid, but that was before I met you. Let me show you who I am.” She spread her legs wide and reached down a hand to touch that smooth cleft between her thighs. “I’m a woman who wants you. Who craves you inside me.” She swirled her finger over the center of her pleasure, and the small of her back lifted off the ground. “I’m not a simpering miss. I’m bold. I have a voice.”
“Let me hear it then,” he said. “Unfettered.”
She stared into his eyes and fondled her breast with one hand. With the other, she ran her own finger into her slick core. “See?” she said, her breath coming in shorter gasps.
He squatted next to her. “All the way,” he said. “On your own. Do you have the fierceness to stand up today against the duke?”
“Yes.” She closed her eyes and thought only of Luke and his glorious body, the epitome of male beauty.
“What about your family?” he asked her. “They want you well settled. A duke will do nicely.”
“No,” she whispered. “I want you.”
A moan came from her throat, and her pelvis lifted into the air. She was on the sweet, slow precipice of a great release when she felt his teeth graze her nipple and then gently bite it. The crude, possessive action send her crashing over the edge into wave after wave of bliss.
She whimpered when she fell back to the blanket, and Luke moved his mouth from her breast to her lips, kissing her hard and hungrily. “You were made for this. Made for me.”
She knew that was true and luxuriated in his possession of her. With him, she could let go—she could stop being the lady—and still be safe and adored. “We’re not finished,” she said. “I need you inside me.”
“No.” He ran a hand down her belly and back up again. “That can’t be.”
“I hate your stubbornness,” she said. “But I’ll have you. I’ll have you now, in my mouth. And I’ll not take no for an answer.”
“You’re a stern taskmaster yourself.” He grinned and lifted her up beneath her arms—she still felt rather like a limp rag doll—and scooted beneath her.
She was thrilled to be seated on his lap, his erection pressing against her bottom.
“I’ll allow it,” he said into her ear. “On one condition. This sensual act, while highly pleasurable, is rather unpolished. I’m not sure a lady like you will go along with it.”
“Your challenges don’t faze me,” she said. “See what you’re forsaking, Mr. Callahan?”
“I know very well, but enough of that sort of talk. Now follow along. I’m going to put you on top so you have more control.”
“Me in control? I thought you said you weren’t a gentleman.”
He lay on his back and turned her around so that her thighs were spread over his face and her mouth was above his erection, which stood at full attention.
“It’s not gentlemanly at all to put you on top,” he said, looking down at her. “It’s very self-serving, I assure you.”
“Goodness.” She giggled. “You’re upside-down. This is rather unpolished. I can’t possibly look like a lady to you from that end.”
“You’re right. You look every inch the delicious heathen.” And to encourage her along those lines, he drew her waiting, wanting feminine sheath to his mouth and twirled his tongue inside her.
“Oh!” she cried, her elbows collapsing beneath her. Her face lolled mere inches above his manhood. “How convenient,” she murmured, and, while she was wracked with her own pleasure, encircled the tip of his erection with her mouth.
Luke groaned—right over that small button of flesh that craved his touch—and sent even more luscious vibrations through her.
For several minutes, they teased each other this way. Janice was determined to bring Luke to pleasure first, but she couldn’t last—his skills as a lover were so great, she was on the brink of falling into another piece of heaven before she knew it.
Then, out of nowhere, he stopped loving her with his mouth. “Tell me you won’t marry him,” he said.
“I can’t promise,” she whispered, the juncture of her thighs throbbing with need of release. “What if he threatens to kill you otherwise?”
“I told you I can take care of myself.
Tell me now that you won’t marry him.”
“I won’t marry him,” she said, and meant it. “I’d rather live alone the rest of my life on this memory with you than marry him.”
Luke chuckled deep in his chest. “Good.” He paused a beat. “I mean the part about your not marrying him. But you shouldn’t be alone, Janice. Promise me you won’t let that happen.”
“No,” she whispered. “If I can’t have you, I want no one else. And this time, Mr. Callahan, I won’t budge. Now let’s get back to what we were doing.”
He sighed against her thigh. “You’ll change your mind about that being alone. You’ll get over me, my lady.”
“No, I won’t,” she said.
He grabbed her thighs and pulled her close, and in seconds she was climaxing against his mouth while her own tongue swirled in mad abandon about the smooth granite of his erection.
He came then, too, strong and true, and she was with him the entire way, never abandoning him once as he pulsed and bucked and groaned his satisfaction.
She rolled off him onto her back, her arms and legs like rubber and spread wide. “If that’s not proof that I’m not always a lady…”
He reached over and caressed her leg. “You’re perfection.”
Her heart soared with happiness. She was with her man like no other.
Luke.
And then her beloved sat up on his elbows. “When we go our separate ways,” he said soberly, “know this: you have my heart.”
The very words filled her like nothing else could.
“But in the world we live in, my love”—still he caressed her—“a heart is not enough. You need security. Companionship.”
“You’re wrong!” She sat upright and pulled away from him. “You’re so wrong, Luke Callahan. But it’s not your fault. You never learned about love—yes, you had the nuns, but you never learned about love close-up.”
She leapt to her feet and pulled on her night rail.
He stood, too. “I know I didn’t. Don’t you see? This is why we don’t belong together. We believe two totally different things. You believe in hope. I believe in seeing the worst-case scenario right away and preparing for it. You don’t believe me now, but the further you get away from me, you’ll realize how ill-matched we are. And when you do, you’ll look back at this moment and be glad I didn’t hold you to your plan for us to run away.”
Say Yes to the Duke Page 26
