Thin Line

by Anthony Whyte

  “We’ll talk when we get out of here, son,” she said.

  I felt like I was a part of something that was known exclusively to my mother and me. She finished copying all the papers and then we walked out hand in hand. It gave me a thrill when my mother and I silently left sharing a secret.

  When we hit the streets I felt a breath of fresh air whipping around me. My mother opened the car door and I got in next to her. She put the key in the ignition and I began to think of finally going home.

  “I know you’re hungry, Shareef. How about we stop at Friendly’s restaurant, huh?” she suggested.

  “Sounds really good, mom,” I said with a smile that stretched from ear to ear.

  As mother drove along I began to feel better about my chances at proving that I was an innocent victim in all that had happened today. Mom wore a tight look of concern on her face. Maybe she was trying to sort out all the details in her mind. I was finally able to smile when she searched for parking.

  “Okay, are you ready to eat, Shareef?” she asked.

  “You bet, mom,” I answered.

  We exited the car and walked inside. The place was not crowded. Mom and I ordered burgers. Her cell phone rang.

  “Oh hi, mother,” I heard her say and knew it was my father’s mother. She always called her “Mother.”

  “Excuse me a second, Shareef,” she said, looking at me, then went back to listening to my grandmother. “He’s going to be fine. He’ll be all right. Well, what do you expect when a person acts up? You know your son. He doesn’t listen to anyone.”

  Our sodas arrived. Mother stirred and I sipped while she listened to my grandmother. The food came next. I overheard mother trying graciously to get grandmother off the phone.

  “I’m about to have something to eat with Shareef. I’ll call you back. And stop worrying, your son will be all right. They’re going to release him on a ROR. He’ll probably have to see the judge, but it shouldn’t be too bad. He has a right to sue. I’ll call you later. Shareef is fine he’s chomping down on a burger. Your grandmother says she loves you and will see you soon, Shareef. Bye, mother. Love you too.”

  My mother hung up and just as soon as she touched her burger, her phone rang again.

  “Ignore it, mom.” She looked at me, glared and picked up the phone.

  “Hello, Brenda…”

  That would be my stepfather’s ex-wife. She was the young-at-heart type and liked to be called by her first name, even by me.

  “I’m having dinner with Shareef and I really can’t speak right now but I’ll call you later and we’ll talk. I promise. Shareef, Brenda sends you hugs and kisses.”

  “Same to her,” I managed between bites.

  “Shareef sends lots of hugs and kisses to you. I’ll talk to you later Brenda, bye-bye.”

  Mother ended the call and returned to her burger. She took a bite and again her phone rang. She looked at it and immediately identified the number. “It’s your grandma.” She announced before answering. “Yes, huh-uh, I know but I can’t talk right now. Why? Because I’m having dinner with your grandson, that’s why.” I heard mother speaking emotionally and knew it was her mother. “Not now, Mommy, I’ll call you when I get home, okay. I promise.”

  I was busy eating fries when she put the phone down and took a bite of her burger. She shook her head and I knew it had not been an enjoyable day for neither of us.

  “How’s the burger, mom?”

  “If I am allowed to eat it, I could tell you,” she smiled and I knew she was making light of a bad thing.

  Mother had the ability to do so. When she and dad had argued, she had still been able to smile. Today she seemed even stronger and younger. She was like a friend sharing a private joke with me. Maybe this was a chance for us to get closer.

  “Enjoy your burger, mommy.”

  “Thank you, son,” she said.

  The look she gave me told another story. I didn’t want to ask because eventually she would share it. She looked weary now, slowly chewing the burger while quickly sinking deep into her thoughts. Mother sipped and burped. It seemed that my father’s arrest made some sense of the whole incident. My mother finished eating without saying a word. There was more to her silence than the air it gave. I breathed hard hoping to draw attention to myself. Mother threw a glance my way but seemed miles away in thought. Clearly there had been more to her day than just me getting arrested. I decided the only way to find out what else happened was to bother her and ask.

  “I know it wasn’t a good day for you and I am partly to blame for that. I am sorry, mommy.”

  She looked at me with sad eyes.

  “I’m sorry, mommy,” I repeated in my most earnest voice.

  My mother finally gazed at me instead of through me.

  “Your apology is accepted, Shareef. Please just don’t let it happen again.”

  “I swear…I mean, I promise never ever to let it happen again.”

  She held my hand as she cautioned me. “You’re a chip off the old block and sometimes you have a tendency to act out. Let today be a lesson and warning to you, Shareef. The next time it may not go down this way.”

  I nodded and walked around the table to hug my mother.

  “Is there something else bothering you, mommy?” I asked as I clutched my mother’s shoulders. She knelt down and looked me in the eyes.

  “It’s grown-up business and much too complicated for you, Shareef. But thanks for asking. It’s something that only I can work out right now. You’re too cute when you want to be, Shareef. Let’s pay and go home.”

  Minutes later we were walking hand in hand to the parking lot when I spotted a van of officers. Some wore uniforms and others didn’t. They waved at us and I felt anxiety crawling beneath my skin as they approached.

  “Hi Rita, how’re you doing?”

  “Hey guys, who’s in charge of this task force?”

  “Why?” one of the men asked.

  “I just wanna know if this break is an emergency?”

  They laughed and hugged and shook hands with mother.

  “Shareef, meet the only unit I was not qualified to be part of,” she laughed. “But my partner went instead.”

  One of the team members stepped forward. He kissed mother and reached out his hand to me.

  “Hi son, my name is Carlos Ramirez. You could call me Charlie. I’m guilty as charged,” he smiled.

  I glanced up at him, and realized that he too was sporting the same ring that the detectives, Stanley and Mr. Mozi had. He was not to be trusted. I don’t know what came over me then. I started to sweat, my head felt heavier and my feet seemed not want to go any further. I wanted to say something to my mother but the words stayed stuck in my throat.

  “What’s wrong, Shareef?” my mother asked.

  “Are you alright, boy?”

  The officers got closer and I grabbed my stomach like a lion was trapped inside. Instinctively I gripped my mother’s hand tightly. She seemed confused and shot me a look of bewilderment.

  “Shareef, you don’t feel well?” she asked.

  “You better take care of your boy, Rita.”

  “Is there something wrong?” she asked.

  Wincing, I shook my head. The officers looked on in concern. Then they smiled at my mother, looked down menacingly at me and walked away.

  “Shareef, are you okay?”

  I wanted to tell her everything I discovered in the last twenty-four hours, but my voice failed me. Not able to take my eyes off the officers, I pointed in fear as they got near. This weird feeling hit me and I couldn’t bring myself to formulate words. I felt nauseated and shivered like I was in a freezer.

  “Shareef, Shareef, are you all right? Is everything okay?” she asked. The inquiry lingered embarrassingly in the air.

  “C’mon Shareef, let’s get home,” my mother said.

  She grabbed my hand and started pulling me. Tentatively, I tried to move while keeping my butt cheeks close together to prevent further le
akage. I was petrified and moved forward unwillingly alongside my startled mother.

  CHAPTER 12

  During the ride home I was quiet. Mother’s face was all concern as she rushed me home, all the time asking questions. Her mind stayed in overdrive. I was still feeling embarrassed from the experience, and desperately wanted to block it out.

  “Are you feeling any better, Shareef?” mother asked when she caught my stare. I shook my head. “Shareef, are you ignoring me? Shareef, answer me.”

  I heard my mother’s request but was too mortified to come out of the cocoon I had wrapped myself into. We drove closer to home and I saw the yellow tape marking the crime scene of the killings.

  The Mozis’ home, once the best on the block, was now reduced to a house of haunting ghosts. I had to confess all the things I saw in that house, all the evidence stashed in my bags, the rings—everything—but would she believe me? Or maybe she would just be mad that I went poking my nose in what she called ‘grown folks’ business? My throat tightened and my breathing increased. I sank into the seat and my fist clung to the door.

  “Why are you acting this way, Shareef?”

  “What do you mean? I don’t know, mom.”

  “Shareef, earlier outside Friendly’s you seemed, alright until…” Her voice trailed and then she shrugged. “I don’t know what is wrong, Shareef.”

  “Mom, I’ve got something to tell you, but I don’t know if you are going to believe me.”

  “Shareef, I’m your mother. You know you can talk to me.”

  “Last night after the funeral, I went to the Mozi house.”

  “You did what? Shareef…!”

  “Mom, please just hear me out. Before you get all upset just listen.”

  “Okay, Shareef. You have my attention.”

  “Last night when I went to the house—at first, I just really wanted to get a picture of Lolo and say goodbye. But while I was there some men arrived. They were searching for something. So today, I cut class and went back to see what I could find.” I reached for my backpack and pulled out everything I had collected from the house. I pulled out the ring.

  “Mom, this ring—all the guys involved in Lolo’s murder have it. Mozi, the two detectives who interrogated me, your friend Charlie, and even Stanley…”

  “What? It’s just a ring, Shareef. You are acting as if there is some major conspiracy. Do you hear what you are saying? Sneaking out at night, cutting school—now you want to tell these wild stories and lie about my partner and my husband!”

  “Mom, please. You have got to believe me. Something is not right and it is pointing to Stanley. The detectives who questioned me today were asking me if Stanley was ‘cooperating with the police.’ They picked me up only to see what we knew and if Stanley was a snitch.”

  “Nonsense Shareef! I don’t want to hear anymore of this. You go to your room.”

  “But mom, please Just look at this stuff. Look at it. You are a cop. This is evidence. Just look at it, please.”

  “I said go to your room now, Shareef! I’m going to make an appointment with the psychiatrist for you, boy. Who do you think you are, Sherlock Holmes or something? That boy es loco,” she whistled.

  I wasn’t going to stick around because that look in her eyes yold me all I needed to hear. She was not listening. She could not hear me over the blue uniforms, the marriage license, and the bond between her and her partner. My mom was loyal and would not be won over with evidence from the likes of me, her kid who had snuck out, and cut class.

  The phone rang and she turned her back to get it. My mother began speaking and quickly I realized the coast was clear. I scuttled off to my room.

  “Hello Brenda,” I heard my mother saying as I jumped into my pajamas and dashed into bed. My stepfather’s ex was calling again.

  The place was awfully quiet without Stanley around. My breathing and the voice of my mother on the phone were the only things I could hear.

  “He’s being held as a potential witness. They had to provide him with protective custody. I’ll let him know you’ll be going to your mother’s in Charlotte. Huh-uh, its precautionary measures they’re taking because Mr. Mozi was ambushed and killed after he decided to cooperate with the investigation…. Yes they’re holding him in safekeeping. Brenda, I have to go. Good night.”

  That night, I was on my back in bed staring at the ceiling fan, and thinking about what to do next. I would have to quit the investigation before it got me into any more trouble. My mother and I may never know the truth. She could end up staying with Stanley and losing her life because of who and what he was caught up with. I decided to keep everything in my backpack and carry it with me at all times no matter where I went. Soon, it would all be revealed somehow. My thoughts would not be denied, and my eyes would not close.

  CHAPTER 13

  The next morning my mother took me to my grandma’s place. She felt it best I stay there so someone could watch me twenty-four-seven. Stanley’s legal situation really had her preoccupied. She seemed really on edge.

  My cousin, Tito was there with aunt Lila. She was my mother’s older sister and had been recently divorced. They were living with grandma until my aunt could find her own apartment. It worked out well even though I was suspended from school. During the day when everyone was gone, I was alone with my grandma. I would do homework until it was time for her to watch the soaps on TV and didn’t want to be bothered.

  “Now Shareef, you go play with your video games and after that we’ll continue doing your school work,” she said dismissing me.

  “Okay, grandma.”

  I went in the room where my cousin stayed and wild out on the video games. Tito and I were a year apart. He had the same games I did, and much more. Hours later, I was so involved that I didn’t even hear when grandmother called me.

  “Shareef, boy, come and get something to eat. Your mom will be here soon.”

  The doorbell rang, and grandma went to get it. It was Tito getting home from school. That meant it was time to have fun on the video game again. Mother and Aunty Lila, I called her Tita Lila, arrived about an hour later.

  “Shareef, let’s go,” she said, foregoing her usual greeting of a hug. Mother was rushing me out, when grandma interceded.

  “Rita, why don’t you let Shareef eat? That boy has not let up since I gave him breakfast. What is it about these games?”

  “Okay, but Shareef should know better. And you mommy, letting him do what he wants to do, that just ain’t gonna work.”

  “Shareef and Tito go and eat the food I made you. Lila warm up the rice and beans for Shareef and Tito,” my grandma shouted.

  “Come on and get it boys,” Aunty Lila said.

  Tito and I walked to the kitchen. I saw the frown on mother’s face.

  “I can’t wait for him to go back to school,” she said.

  “That’ll happen next week,” grandma said, sitting down. “Tell me, what’s really eating you?”

  “It’s really nothing, Ma. You’re soo nosey,” my mother laughed.

  “Now, you’re my daughter—you best believe I can tell when something is bothering you, girl,” grandma said.

  I joined my cousin and aunt in the kitchen and ate.

  “C’mon Shareef, you better get some of this before Tito eats it all,” my aunt said, ushering me into a chair.

  “Mommy, I can’t eat all this food grandma cooked. There’s enough for all of us.”

  “Stop the chatter, bow your head, say your grace and dig in,” Aunt Lila smiled.

  We chow down on beans and rice with chicken. After that, Tito and I walked in on the adults. They were lost in deep discussion sitting in the living room.

  “Mommy, can we play video games until I’m ready to do my homework?” Tito asked.

  “No, you’ve got school tomorrow and…”

  “Lila, don’t be so hard on the boy. Let him and Shareef play their game for a few more minutes,” grandma said objecting.

  “All right, but
you heard your grandma—just for a few minutes. Not all night,”

  “Now tell me what that therapist is saying. My grandson isn’t crazy. You know I saw Dr. Santiago the other day…”

  “That man is handsome, mommy! You should’ve married that man,” Aunt Lila said. My grandmother, aunt and mother all laughed.

  “Speaking of handsome, Lenny called earlier today. He was released and was inquiring about Shareef. He wanted to spend time with him, he said.”

  “Lenny can forget about me ever leaving my son with him unsupervised again.”

  “Yeah mommy, he should swap some of his good looks, and become a more responsible father. Kids go in the room, please,” Aunt Lila said.

  Tito and I went back to his room and we started a new round of video games.

  The weekend came and my dad called twice trying to reach mother. Both times it felt good for some reason to let him know she was unavailable. I never mentioned this to Grandma or Mother. Monday approached with the quickness. It was my first day back to school and mother seemed relieved as she rushed me off.

  “Shareef, let’s go,” she said.

  I ran down the stairs, grabbed my book bag and joined her in the car.

  “Buckle up,” she ordered.

  I did, and she took off driving past the Mozis’. There was always a police officer or two on guard. My stomach did loops, but I couldn’t really tell if it was caused by seeing them, or anticipating what would happen at school.

  “Please do not get into any type of trouble whatsoever, Shareef. There are times when you should know when to fight or not to. Those school people are waiting for you to mess up. Please do not give them the satisfaction, okay, Shareef?”

  “Yes mom,” I said, keeping my head straight.

  “Look at me, Shareef. Promise Mommy you will be a good boy,” she said as the car rolled to a stop outside the school.

  “I promise, mommy.”

  “Okay, let’s go.”

  Mother walked with me to the office and waited until I was sent off to join my class.