physical limitations, your beloved is a very brave girl. Foolish, but she’s brave, is she not?”
Outwardly, Nikolas remained as still as a mountain. Inwardly, he was trembling uncontrollably. He
knew Demetri could sense his distress. No matter how hard he fought against it, he couldn’t break free
from the fear gripping his heart. “She isn’t here. She isn’t weak. She has many willing to stand and fight
for her.” Lowering his brow, Nikolas frowned. “You will die for threatening my sister, Demetri.”
“Your sister?” Leaning back in his chair, Demetri stretched his arms behind his back. “I thought
you knew me better. Do you truly believe I would waste my time harming your sister to punish you for
walking in here to threaten my woman? Your sister means nothing to me. The vampire will take care of
your brother’s woman for his own reasons.” Lifting his brow, he smiled. “It isn’t your sister that I’ve
targeted, Nikolas. It isn’t your sister that’s already suffering for your ignorance. It isn’t your sister’s fear
you’re feeling right now.”
Nikolas knew there was some truth in it. He felt the presence of a female in the building. She was
reaching for him, and she didn’t even know it. It couldn’t be his mate. He didn’t have one. He would
know his mate. He sure as hell would know her before Demetri would. He was tempted to do it, but he
knew better than to extend his mind to reach for the woman. Demetri would sense it and see it as an
affirmation that he was concerned about the woman. Nikolas glanced at Mary. “Why do you defend the
murderous whore?”
Demetri laughed aloud, mocking Nikolas. “You’ve grown cold in your old age. It seems that
neglecting one’s mate is a family trait. After waiting for her for so long, I can’t believe you would rather
talk about my woman than do anything to stop your mate’s terrifying ordeal.”
Narrowing his eyes, he shook his head. “No. That isn’t it, is it? You want nothing more than to reach
for her, comfort her, protect her. What does it feel like to know she’s reaching for you, needing you, and
you must ignore her to protect her? Do you truly believe that by acting disinterested you will keep me
from harming her?” Clenching his jaw, he leaned forward and whispered, “It’s too late. She already
tastes my vengeance.”
Arriving unannounced with Mia, Joseph yanked Nikolas out of the memory. “The view from here is
just as remarkable as ever.”
“Stand here long enough and I assure you it will grow old and lose its appeal.” A little shocked that
he hadn’t even known they were on his property until they were so close, he turned to face them. “What
brings you to my home?”
“We wanted to make sure you know that we are leaving town for the weekend. Knowing our absence
would leave Brianna alone we figured you would want to be aware of it,” Joseph explained.
“We understand that even though you have decided to remain a distance from Brianna and allow her
to move on that you care about her,” Mia said. “She seems to be doing very well. We’ve all tried to keep
her busy. Even Adam did his best to distract her and get her to laugh the other night. We’ve taken her out
a few times. I think it’s good for her let loose a little, but knowing how she gets if she has too much
alcohol to drink we hate to think of what could happen if we aren’t there to watch over her.”
“If Adam…it’s nice to know she has such caring friends.” Nikolas realized she was trying to get
under his skin. He’d bet anything she had mentioned Adam and Brianna’s reaction to alcohol in the same
sentence just to get a reaction out of him. “I will stay in the city until you return.” Just in case she wasn’t
bluffing about Adam he decided to let Joseph know how he felt about it. Since I don’t believe in beating
or strangling women I want you to know that if Mia encourages Adam to touch Brianna that I will
consider you just as much my enemy as him.
I thought you might be a tad bit touchy over it. Between us guys I just want you to know that I don’t
give a rat’s ass about your lack of a functioning brain or your fucked up narcissistic emotional flare-ups.
I came here because Mia actually thinks there’s good in you. She’s wrong. But I would never allow her to
come and see you alone. You say you don’t believe in beating or strangling women and yet you ripped
your mate’s heart right out of her chest. You are a self-absorbed bully. You are the only one who
deserves to be beaten or strangled. There is no excuse for the way you discarded and hurt your mate.
“Caleb never goes far from Julie and we don’t trust him to look out for her. We would feel better if
you would agree to keep a closer eye on her while we are gone,” Mia said. “Isn’t that right, Joseph?”
Grinning, Joseph nodded. “That’s right, angel.” Having no qualms with lying his ass off about one of
his closest friends, he met Nikolas gaze. “We do not trust the sneaky bloodsucker one damn bit.”
“Not at all,” Mia agreed.
“That’s right,” Joseph continued. “Not only do we believe he is incapable of protecting her, we are
fearful he will take advantage of our absence and attempt to do all sorts of naughty, icky, wicked things to
her.”
“Why do you always have to ruin it? You were being so well behaved.” Mia smacked his arm. “Stop
being a smartass!”
“I was only trying to help Nikolas understand the depths of our concern for her welfare.”
“Like hell you were.” She rolled her eyes. “I warned you before we left, didn’t I?”
“I don’t remember any warning, but I do recall you threatening to beat my ass if I did not do
everything in my power to make sure Nikolas was aware of Julie’s need for his protection from her m…”
“Don’t you dare say it,” she cut him off.
“I would never say such a thing. If you had allowed me finish you would have heard me say from her
malevolent shadow. I was not going to refer to Caleb as Julie’s mate.”
She straightened her stance and squared her shoulders. “You are mocking me.”
“Not at all.”
“I am not going anywhere with you. I won’t leave her alone with that disgusting creep. Since you
have such fond feelings for him you can go find him and take him on the romantic getaway.”
“I am thankful for the time you spent coming up with it, but I am going to have to decline your
suggestion. In all honesty I confess that the thought of going on a lover’s retreat with Caleb does not
appeal to me as much as going with you.”
“Too bad. He is your best option. I am not going.”
Nikolas did not feel sorry Joseph. If truth be told, he was slightly amused by the way he taunted Mia,
but not enough to have any desire to listen to their banter any longer. Joseph was right. There was no
excuse for what he had done to Brianna, but it was for the best. “Do not worry about a thing, Mia. I
understand and share your concern,” he lied to win her trust in hopes of getting rid of them. “I will watch
over Julie during your absence.” He would see to the woman’s wellbeing because Brianna had a deep
love for her.
As Nikolas watched them walk away Joseph’s harsh but true words replayed in his mind. He knew
that for Joseph to say anything he must have been moved by Brianna’s pain. He reached out with his
mind to secretly sneak a quick look at wha
t Brianna was doing just to make sure she was okay.
“I don’t blame you for hating him. Who could? He treated you like crap. He didn’t have a right to
use your body and toss you away. You deserve to have a man who treats you like you are the most
important person in the entire world,” Julie said.
“I don’t hate him. It’s too strong of an emotion. I still can’t believe he accused me of betraying him. I
will never forget the disgust in his eyes when he stared at me. The thought of allowing him touch my
body makes me feel so dirty. I can’t scrub hard enough to feel clean. I know that it was never love.”
“What about that guy Mia and Joseph set you up with a while ago? Mia said you ran into him. You
should go out with him.”
“Adam?”
“Yeah. He’s hot.”
“He is nice. He actually helped me connect with him so I could see for the evening. I had a good
time talking to him and dancing with him, but I can’t I go out with him or any man right now. Plus, he
isn’t interested in anything more than having a good time.”
“You have no reason to feel any form guilt for moving on. Nikolas dumped you. He turned out to be
a huge asshole. Forget about him.”
“I can’t”
“Why? You have no reason to give a damn about him. He used you. Live your life. Check out your
options,” Julie said.
Brianna sighed. “I would rip my heart out and toss it into a fire if I still cared about him. I don’t care
about him. I really don’t. I have no desire to be with him or ever see him again. He did more than break
my heart. I feel so ashamed of myself for ever wanting him to touch me. I feel so disgusted every time I
remember wanting to be with him. I know you are right about living my life, but I am just not ready yet. I
need time to find myself.”
“I understand. I think it is so important is to find yourself once you’ve lost yourself,” Julie said.
“What bothers me the most is that I just gave myself to him. I didn’t hold anything back. Why would
I make myself so vulnerable and dependent on any man? He claimed to love me, but offered me nothing
except one excuse after another.”
“I’m so sorry, Brianna.”
“Don’t be. I’ve never learned a more valuable lesson. I am glad he blew up and let me know how he
really feels about me. Can you imagine what it would have been like if he acted as if it never happened
and continued making excuses for why he couldn’t be with me? I would have been a serious wreck before
I got smart and realized that he was no good. It would have been worse than this that’s for sure. He has
spent more time listing off all the reasons we couldn’t be together than anything else. Whenever I said
differently he went on and on with all the reasons I was wrong and he was right. I swear he truly believed
I was stupid so he felt obligated to say the same things over and over again until I managed to
comprehend them.”
“You are not stupid, Brianna.”
“I know. He just believed I was because I viewed things differently than he did. He should have just
blown up and told me what he really thought of me a long time ago.”
“Maybe one day you’ll get a chance to rip into him.”
“There wouldn’t be any point. He is right. I am wrong. The end. Besides, I never want to breathe the
same air he does.”
“What did Mia come up with?”
“Nothing. She claimed that there is no way for me to remain hidden from him. Apparently since I am
his mate he can track me down no matter how far I go. Besides, I think going to her was a mistake. I
doubt she would tell me if there was a way to do it.”
“Why?”
“Our conversation ended with her making excuses for him and encouraging me to give him more
time before I do anything to permanently cut ties with him. Not that it’s ever going to be a possibility.
The man I thought I loved never believed I was woman enough to handle being loved by him.”
“But you know better, right? The way a man treats a woman is a reflection of what he is.”
“Absolutely. I know what he isn’t and what he is and...”
Nikolas knew the instant she said that he didn’t believe she was woman enough to handle being
loved by him that he screwed up. He was so shocked over her belief that he felt that way, that it caused
emotions to explode in him. It caused her to immediately sense his presence, but withdrawing would
confirm it to her.
I know you’re in my head. Get out!
He stayed absolutely silent and still in hopes that she would come to the conclusion that she hadn’t
really felt him.
“Oh no. He was listening, wasn’t he?” Julie asked. “He’s such an asshole.”
I cannot understand why you would spend any time secretly listening in on any conversation I have
with another person. You never wanted to listen to what I had to say to you. You made your feelings about
me crystal clear. I thank you for not continuing to beat around the bush with excuses any longer. Leave
me alone.
“No. He is not an asshole. Nikolas Drake is the worst mistake I have ever made, and the teacher of
the most valuable lesson I have ever learned. Never give more of yourself to another than they are willing
to give you.”
“That’s right.”
Still trying to determine whether or not he was in her mind he knew Brianna held her hand up and
shook her head to silence Julie.
Feeling her search for him tore him up. He struggled against the urge to say something. It was a
shock to hear what she felt about him. It was no wonder Joseph had been angry enough to meddle.
***
After adding his newest and most prized photo to the elaborate collage he had spent the past five years
creating on his bedroom wall, Carl took a few steps back to study it. After moving his position several
times to examine it from different angles he started to become aggravated because it was all wrong.
Nothing about it spoke to him. His mother’s shrill mocking laughter filled his head. “No! Shut up!”
He leaned against the wall and banged his forehead against it over and over again in an attempt to force
her out of his mind, but she just continued to laugh at him.
Crushed by her cruelty and hatred, once again he fell to his knees and gripped his head as he rocked
back and forth. It was not fair. He had done nothing to deserve her constant condemnation. Unable to stop
sobbing he continued to rock back and forth until he collapsed and curled up into a tight ball and covered
his ears with his hands, though he knew doing so was useless. It would not silence her. He sobbed and
begged her to leave him alone, but she continued to poke fun of him.
All of the sudden he remembered what had pleased her when he was a boy. It had been years since
he had recited the books of the Bible in order from memory. He did not know whether or not he should
take a crack at it, but at same time he realized that he had no other choice if he wanted to gain her
approval. He just had to be careful, for if he got the order wrong it would infuriate her. She would attack
him in a blind rage with whatever was in her reach and beat him half to death.
Faith was the key to mustering enough courage to do it. He had to believe that God would help him
recollect what he had spent countless hours memorizing while locked in the closet beneath the basement
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steps to fast and pray for forgiveness of his sins as a child. He got up on his knees and brought his hands
together. He closed his eyes and bowed his head in reverence as he began to recite the books of the Bible.
He started at Genesis and encouraged by the fact that his mother’s scornful laughter faded a little more
with each book until it completely stopped, he slowly made his way to Revelation.
He smiled. Not because he believed his mother had chosen to accept or love him. He had learned the
hard way that even pretending either one or both might happen was a waste of time. He smiled because
God had chosen to bless him with His presence, to help him, to work through him for the purpose of
putting her in her place and shutting her up. Sooner or later she would return to torment and condemn
him, but he was convinced that she would not dare to challenge him again for a while.
Taking a deep breath he stood up and opened his eyes. It was the precise moment he knew his life
would never be the same. It was miracle he had waited for so long to receive. In disbelief or perhaps
shock he blinked at few times to clear his vision just in case he was wrong. After all the years that had
gone by had God finally blessed him?
He tilted his head to the right and then to the left then stared at his collection of pictures for several
moments. Yes! It was true! God had indeed seen fit to sanctify him. Finally receiving the victory allowed
him to feel the dizzying sense of euphoria he had ached to experience again since the day he came home
and discovered his mother’s nude, lifeless body in the bathtub. No one, not even the self-righteous ghost
of his mother, could dispute what was right there on his wall for everyone to see. It was his most recent
picture, a perfectly captured image of a woman, whose beauty surpassed all the others that he had brought
to his home. It had completed his collage and transformed it into a magnificent piece of art.
He shifted his gaze to the image of the previous woman he had brought home. The vivid memory of
her battered, torn and bloodied body, which was sprawled out on his bedroom floor threatening to steal
his sense of joy and victory, but he would not allow it to take anything away from him. He had worked
too hard to earn his redemption. His previous failures with women meant nothing now that God had
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