Of course, I question the future…
I wonder if this is just something temporary, and that Evan will leave or Mary Beth will leave and find us both back together. Then I have to remind myself that we work better as friends. The passion was never fireworks. The butterflies never took flight with just one look. That’s how it is with Evan. I wake thinking about him. I go to sleep dreaming about him and our future. When he kisses me or touches me, I see fireworks in the sky. When he smiles at me, my stomach flutters. That’s what I want, and I’ll do what I have to do to make sure that never changes. Evan is the one… He grounds me like no other has ever done before.
We’re all seated around the living room, passing Madison around. I watch as everyone chit chats, oohing over her. I jump a little as Zara nudges me to take her from her arms. My hand holds her head, and I comfortably lean back and gaze down into her eyes. I’m not sure if it’s a smile that I get in return, but I offer her the biggest one I can find and reserve it just for Madison. Right here in this living room another person has stolen my heart from me. I take a moment to examine her as I didn’t get to at the hospital. The need to make sure that all ten fingers and toes are front and center. I mean, I’m sure that Zara would’ve told me if something was wrong. I just need to see for myself. I take a chance to look over at Evan who’s studying me from a distance. He smiles, and I smile back. Thoughts of what he would look like holding an infant invade me. I’m pretty sure that it would cause an ovary overload for me. Picturing his strong arms engulfing a tiny human being is something that would definitely send me into overload.
I’m lucky that Brody stayed close to Hatcher and Mary Beth was in deep conversation with Natasha most of the afternoon. I overheard her talking about mergers and stuff that makes my head spin. Either way, the day went as well as expected. The room at times would stiffen, but when that happened Morgan would bring up the wedding to detour the silence. It’s a hell of a triangle that once used to be a circle.
Time passes quickly, and before I know it, it’s time to bid everyone a goodnight. We have a little guy who needs to head to bed and get ready for school tomorrow. This causes me to laugh as we say goodnight. The three of us leave hand in hand as we walk toward my house. Stopping at my driveway, Neil comes to stand in front of me.
“Will you read to me tonight?”
I look up at Evan for his approval and agree to follow them home for story time. I feel awkward at times as if I’m invading their time and space. Maybe one day it’ll just be natural. It’s more I don’t understand my role and depend on Evan to guide me through this. He’s had eight years’ experience in this department, me? About a month now, and it still feels like yesterday.
Story time ends quickly tonight as our little man was beyond tired. Seems all the activity has taken a toll on him as it has me. I plop down next to Evan who’s holding down the couch and surfing channels when I enter.
“Did he pass out on you?”
“Out like a light.”
“He’s been busy today, and he likes it when you read to him. I remember there were nights that I’d read four books before he went to sleep. Ever since you’ve been helping, he doesn’t make it through one.”
I smile at him as I lean down and place my head on his shoulder. I tuck my feet underneath me to get comfortable. We sit like this for I don’t know how long. Me against him as he finds something to watch. He lands on some old comedy show that I have no idea what it is and tosses the remote down next to him. As I go to say something, Evan grabs my hand into his and shifts his body toward me.
“Wanna talk?”
“What about?”
“Us, anything.”
“Is this where you ask me to leave and never come back?”
“Are you crazy? I think it’s more come live with us than anything,” he says and it causes me to laugh. We’ve only spent that one night together at my house so far, but I’d pack a bag right now and stay a few nights if he asked. Instead of agreeing, I decide it’s time to figure this out.
“Is Neil okay with me? I mean, I think he likes me? I just don’t want to replace someone for him. I want to be what you want me to be for him. Does that make any sense?”
“I’d say that my son loves you. According to my mother, you are all he talks about. Which, by the way, she knows everything that he knows plus some from me.” He stops to shift a little more next to me, giving him a better angle to watch my face. I’ve come to learn that when Evan wants to talk about something important, you can’t hide from his face. He wants to see all of you. “What do you want, Frankie? Tell me how you see yourself in our lives.”
“Are we getting deep tonight?” I ask and throw a hand over my mouth as I replay that sentence back in my head. “I don’t mean dirty; I just need to know if we are coming clean? We still haven’t talked about the other night, and… Well, did I scare you with my breakdown?”
“We can get dirty later, and for the record, no; you didn’t scare me. You actually made me realize I want more also. For so many years I’ve been Neil’s father. That role has taken up the last eight years of my life. Don’t get me wrong—I love my son, but I also put my happiness on hold. He needs a female in his life. I was always afraid to bring people around him, so I kept them at arm’s length. I thought I was protecting him from being hurt, from thinking about his mother. Since you’ve come along, he’s changed… I’ve changed.”
“I like being in his life. I don’t do much other than read to him, but I hope one day I can be more to him.”
“Then we take it one step at a time. Have you decided yet when you want more?”
“No, but as soon as I know, you’ll be the first to know about it.”
“Want to practice?”
“Practice what?” I ask, scrunching up my nose because I have no idea where he’s going with this. Before I can ask anything else, he jumps to his feet. I stare up at him, and in the blink of an eye Evan has thrown me over his shoulder and leads us to his bedroom. It’s when my feet hit the floor that I realize what practice meant. It doesn’t hurt to practice in my book.
Chapter 17
I called this morning to cancel all upcoming appointments with the therapist as I feel the new situation doesn’t require her services. Apparently, I’m an easy cure, which I guess is better than being an easy lay. I was told to stop running, and I did that—case closed. With a long list of questions, I’m ready for the one appointment that I moved up to today. When I called the office first thing this morning, luck was on my side since they just had a cancellation. Finally, the stars are lining up correctly for me. I’m going to see Dr. Cam and Dr. Downey before the support group meets this afternoon. I made my mind up last night that if removing the ovary is the best thing to do, then I was onboard, but they have to answer the questions that I have first. I just pray that the answers I receive are the ones I want to hear.
Deciding to send a quick text to Evan, I open my phone and type out…
Me: I moved my doctor appointment up to today, going in at one then I have a meeting afterward. What are your plans?
I’ve been so used to doing everything myself that I have to remember to let Evan in. We texted a few times this morning with the simple how did you sleep questions. He woke up late and had to rush Neil to school, so we didn’t get much time to chat. I glance down at my phone and notice that he’s read the message, but I don’t see the bubble telling me he’s texting me back. He’s probably busy working, and I go back to my research. A few minutes later, a knock on the door filters through the room. I’m not expecting anyone, so I’m a little shocked from the tapping. When I get to the door, I peek out to see who it is. In shock, I open the door. “Mary Beth, come on in,” I say and motion for her to enter. This is the last person I ever expected to see on my doorstep. This could end badly, and a part of me feels the need to send an SOS text to Evan or Hatcher—hell maybe even Brody, but he’s probably blocked my calls.
“I’m sorry for barging in on you this
morning, but I needed to come talk to you. This isn’t my place, but since I’m technically dating Brody, it is.”
“Have a seat. Can I get you some tea or coffee?”
“No thanks, I won’t stay long.”
“Okay,” I say as I stand across from her, keeping the island counter between us. I don’t know her very well, and for all I know she could be here to kill me. This is farfetched, but I’ve watched Lifetime and know that a woman with a broken or bruised heart can get a little crazy.
“Frankie, I know you and Brody have a very strange history. He’s told me a little about it, and I don’t think I’ll ever fully understand it. But I need you to know that I’ve never seen another person as crushed as he was that night. As much as it pains me to say this, I have to. If for any reason you think you’ll go back to him, you can’t. I love him, but he holds you up on a pedestal so high that even though he’s with me, he’s not fully with me. He needs time, which means you need to stay away from him. I’m not asking you to do that, I’m telling you. He needs to heal, and I plan to be the one to mend his broken heart. See, you and I have something in common. We both fell fast for someone, and I’m sure you would do the same if this was Evan we were talking about.” I hold up my hand to stop her before she continues.
“Mary Beth, first, I appreciate you coming to me, but I need to make this clear before you say another word. What happened at the hospital shouldn’t have happened the way it did. For the record, you have no idea about mine and Brody’s past. The connection that we share is more than two lovers could ever dream of. Do I still love him, yes I do… Do I want to break you two apart? No, I’m in love with Evan, and that’s where my heart is. Brody will have the time he needs to heal without me interfering, but you can’t keep one of my best friends from me. In a week, a month, or a year, just know that you’ll see me hug my friend again. You will see him be a part of my life, that I can promise you. Brody is unique and special in more ways than you have witnessed yet. I hope you two work out, but you can’t push him. He’ll do what is right, always has and always will. Now, if you’ll excuse yourself out of my house, I have an appointment to get ready for.”
I watch as Mary Beth stands and heads toward the door. I’m furious and happy all at the same time with this conversation. A part of me wanted to slap her silly, while the other side of me wanted to hug her. We don’t know much about Mary Beth, but the simple fact that she had enough guts to come here and stand up to me and fight for him—she just won a star in my book. Brody will heal in time, and I know with everything in me that we will once again become the friends we were before we let it shift to new desires.
I shake it off and gather my things so I can head to the city. I have enough time that I can swing by the bakery and grab a cupcake before my appointment. The need for frosting is fierce, and it’ll control the other craving that I’m currently fighting—Evan.
I let out a yell as I open the door to leave. Standing before me is Evan in cargo shorts and a button-down shirt. I totally didn’t need to see him right now. All I’ve thought about since leaving him last night is how I missed the way his body feels against mine. It must show in my features, because I don’t even remember licking my lips when I eye him up and down until he says something. “You keep staring like that, and we will be late.”
“Late? Huh… Where are we going?”
He steps up, wrapping his arm around my waist to pull me closer. Leaning down inches from my face, he says, “We have an appointment to go to, then a meeting. Mom has Neil after school.”
“You don’t have to go; I can do this alone.”
“I know, but I want to be there for you. This will allow me to understand more and be able to offer support.”
“That’s sweet,” I say with a smile and gentle laugh.
“Also, I saw Mary Beth leaving; you okay?”
“I am; she was staking her claim on Brody. Everything will be right again soon.”
“Can I stake claim on my girl yet, or is she still waiting?”
“Depends on what you’re claiming.”
“I want it all… Her love, her body, and that amazing smile she has.”
“Oh, I need to meet this girl; sounds like I have competition.”
“Nope, that person just so happens to be wrapped in my arms at the moment,” he says which causes me to look around searching for the person. I know he’s talking about me, but I like playing with him. It’s one of the things that I’ve come to love about our relationship. We can be sweet, playful, hot, and even heated when the timing is right.
“Come on, I’ll drive. Oh, and for the record, I think you’re pretty awesome yourself.”
Traffic is nuts as we make our way to the city, and because of this, we have to pass on going to the bakery first. Instead, we head for the medical center. With a deep breath, I take Evan’s hand into mine and don’t let go until we reach the sign-in desk. Checked in, we find a seat and wait for the nurse to call me back. It feels odd that he’s here with me. It’s not that I’m not used to another person coming with me, I’m just not used to it being Evan. If Brody didn’t go, sometimes one of the girls would come, or I’d brave it alone.
“You nervous?”
“No, why?”
“Your leg is bouncing so fast that I think you might take off soon.”
“Oh, sorry. Okay, maybe a little.”
“If you want me to stay out here, I will. This is all up to you.”
“No, it’s fine, and you’re welcome to join me. I’m just not used to someone new coming, and I’m a little scared of what they might say.”
“Remember, it’ll be okay. If they advise against it, then we’ll figure out other options. I meant what I said last night. I’ll give you the world, and nothing they can say or do will detour me from that.”
I nod, and as soon as I want to say something else, the nurse calls my name. I put on a brave face for Evan, but inside I’m dying a little as I’m scared of what the answer will be. We fly through the weight, blood pressure, and general questions before I’m asked to wait for the doctors to come see me. It seems like an hour has passed when they enter the room dressed in their scrubs and pure white jackets.
“Hi, Frankie, you remember Dr. Cam,” Doctor Downey says as he shakes my hand before Dr. Cam comes around to follow his lead.
“Hi, and yes I do. This is Evan, my boyfriend,” I say, gesturing over to the chair where Evan is sitting. They exchange small talk as Dr. Downey looks over my chart and takes a seat on the stool before me. Dr. Cam leans against the counter and waits for his turn.
“Alright, tell me why you wanted to move your date up? Are your symptoms back?”
“No, I’ve actually been feeling great for some strange reason. I’ve had some discomfort, but nothing like it was.”
“That’s good news. It could be the change of your birth control. The new one has a much lower dose of estrogen. Which if you remember, that’s not your friend most days, but it’s enough to help protect against pregnancy and keep your hormones in control.”
“True, but I wanted to talk to you about the surgery and my fertility. I never wanted to try in the past as you know, but I… I mean, we want to know our options.”
“You’ve never tried in the past, correct? I don’t see anything in your chart about miscarriages or anything.”
“Correct, never thought to try. I just figured since they said it could cause infertility and how bad it was that it couldn’t happen.”
“It’s always possible that it won’t, but since you haven’t tried to conceive, I think you might have a good chance. But I highly suggest we take that ovary out before you try. The chances will rise, and then we’ll know after that if you need to seek fertility options or not.”
“So, let me get this right. We take the dead ovary, and then I can try? How long before we give up on the natural way and go to a specialist?”
“I’d give it six months to a year. You have to give your body time to adjust to t
he changes, and you’ve been on some form of contraceptive for some time now. Your body will know what to do. It’s a gamble, Frankie, as I’m sure you already know this. I can’t promise that it’ll happen quick or at all, but we have other options. You’re healthy, young, and know your body better than we do. If this is something you’re wanting to do, then we need to do this sooner rather than later.”
“I want to do this; take it out, and let’s see what happens.”
“Dr. Cam and I will both perform the operation. While we have you under, we’ll do a clean out. This will ensure that your body can perform at its best. If you want to go ahead and come off your pills now, you can. The sooner you get it out of your system, the better for when you recover from surgery. I’ll tell you both to be careful, be smart, as we need to do this before you start trying without protection.”
“Got it,” I say and look over at Evan who has now turned a brighter shade of red than I’ve witnessed on any other human being.
“If you don’t have any other questions, I’ll send you over to scheduling.”
“Nope, I think I’m good to go. Oh, wait, how long will I be out of commission for?”
“No lifting anything over five pounds for at least four weeks, rest for the first few days like your other surgeries, and no intercourse for four weeks. There isn’t much of a difference from the ones performed in the past, but we want things to heal before you adventure to the next step.”
“We can handle that, can’t we, Evan?”
“Yes, I think we can.”
Evan and I follow them out toward another room where the nurse is waiting for us. After giving her all my information, she calls over to the hospital. Before I know it, we’re leaving with a date. Reaching the elevator doors, my eyes travel down to the card I’m holding. In two days, I’m going to lose a part of me that’s been in me since the day I was born. I thought I was ready, but now fear takes over. Everything from the appointment floods my thoughts. Here I am making life-changing plans for us when we have only danced around reality. We step in, and I lean against the steel wall with my eyes staring straight at the doors. Panic is setting in… Fear of the unknown… What happens if something doesn’t go right? What happens if I just decided to do this for nothing? Does Evan truly want to start a family with me in the future? Yes, we’ve said we both want more. Were they just words or will our actions outweigh them?
Heated Sweets (A Taste of Love Book 3) Page 15
