by A. C. Wilson
The porch had been cleared as well as the short sidewalk to the yard. He grimaced as he remembered how it felt when he had found the short red barberry bushes covered completely by snow next to the porch railing. His shins still hurt from the unforgiving barbs. He was pretty sure a few of the stems had broken the skin. The throbbing was just barely numbed by the cold. Garrett sighed watching his breath puff in the swirling breeze. He wasn’t sure how long he had been outside. His fingers were nearly numb and he hadn’t felt his toes in a while. At best guess, he had probably fled the house a couple of hours ago. Garrett screwed up his face in distaste. He had never allowed a woman to get the best of him. Well, at least not since high school, he hadn’t given much of a damn what the opposite sex thought of him. One evening with Rayne Randall had him hiding outside and it didn’t wash with him.
What the heck is your problem? She’s damaged. You’re damaged. Get over it! The problem was he didn’t think he could get over it. Whatever was damaged inside of her, he wanted to fix. For the first time in ten years he wanted to save someone other than himself. All sorts of negative things filled his brain. The fact that he was hiding from his own issues only made him feel more of a coward and hypocrite. The last two hours shoveling the deep snow hadn’t given him any more clarity. Hard work and sweat usually brought answers, but he was still just as lost as when he had shut the front door.
Garrett heard a muffled curse from inside the house and he turned his head. He wasn’t about to go charging in there like a knight on a white horse. That’s how he had gotten into this mess. He grimaced.
No! You couldn’t keep it in your pants! That’s what got you into this mess! He shook his head to dispel the thought, but it was more or less true. Sex had been a coping tool. The vigorous physical side sated all his pent up energy. He steered clear of the cuddling and softer side of spending the night with a woman. Hence his reason that no woman was allowed to spend the night…ever. He had broken that rule last night as well and it was impossible to deny that he didn’t crave the intimacy more fiercely now.
You sound like a GIRL! Garrett was really starting to hate the chip on his shoulder. If it hadn’t served him so well this far, he’d seriously have to think about getting rid of it. He pushed off the porch and set out across the yard towards the barn. Perhaps there was something he could do in the old building that didn’t require much thought. Leaning the shovel up against the building, Garrett lifted the latch and pulled the wood door open. The smell of horse and straw immediately hit his nose. He drew in a deep breath of the semi-warm air. The peace that slid over his frayed nerves was indescribable. Growing up on a ranch, this was home. This was one of the most familiar smells and it swiftly overcame the annoyance and confusion of all the other things plaguing him.
“Hey, boy.” Garrett’s lowered voice met the big sorrel head stuck out over the stall door. Maverick wiggled his nose and shook his head. Ears still pointed at the stranger, the horse gave Garrett an assessing look. There was a deep respect for animals that could cause some major damage if offended. Slowly raising his hand, Garrett set his palm flat against the horse’s nose. The soft velvet against his cold hand made him smile. A quick understanding was traded between the two sets of liquid brown eyes. For the first time in hours, Garrett felt his heart rate slow and the hurricane of jumbled thoughts eased measurably.
“She’s going to drive me crazy, Mav. I wish I could blame her for that, but it’s my fault.” Garrett leaned up against the stall door and shook his head. “I can’t walk away.” His words were uttered with such resounding shock that he felt it clear to his toes. The sexual magnetism of Rayne Randall should have been to blame as well, but even that was a poor substitute for the emotional connection they shared. If he had been a betting man, he would never have seen this one coming. Maverick shook his huge head again and let out a puff of air.
“Tell me about it.” Garrett said as he looked about the barn with fresh eyes. It was so old. There was little insulation against the South Dakota winters and the size of the stalls were small for the big red horse. The end stall by the door had been used to stack hay to keep it from rotting out in the moisture. Most of the contents of the tack room were layered thickly in dust and webs, except for two saddles, bridles and blankets.
Rayne’s father. Rodriguez, the ranch foreman. For a ranch this size, Old Man Randall should have kept several hands to do the daily work. Surely two men of considerable age couldn’t do all that needed to be done. He looked about him again and pressed his lips together. Clearly they hadn’t been up to it if that were the case. All of this bugged him. So many questions bombarded him that he didn’t know where to start seeking the answers.
Where was the second horse? Where were the cattle? What did Scott Valentine have to do with all of this? Why was Rayne simply going to sell out and move back to Kansas? Ok, the last question wasn’t really a question at all. He understood that something terrible had happened to estrange a father from a daughter, but there was more than that. Garrett closed his eyes. It physically made his head hurt. He took off his cowboy hat and hung it up on a nail. Scanning the small interior, he saw a pitch fork and a wheelbarrow. It looked like more work was in order.
Another couple of hours spent in the barn saw Garrett covered in not only melting snow, but muck and dust. The fine silt had him sneezing as he hefted the saddles and organized the tack. There were random buckets filled with odds and ends. He had rigged a couple more shelves out of loose lumber beside the hay. The brushes and combs were now housed on those shelves. Nothing was left on the dirt floor except a stack of plastic five gallon buckets. He had also found a package of mouse traps and decided those might not go amiss if he were to use them. It wouldn’t totally knock out the rodent population, but it might knock down the numbers. Their chewing and droppings would become a hazard if they were not properly controlled.
The other used stall had been shoveled out and he’d used fresh straw to bed it. Maverick had seemed more than happy to move to the more comfortable room. Garrett had started on the last stall. It was almost second nature to him. He’d been cleaning out barns since he was strong enough to move a wheelbarrow. Now that didn’t mean to say that he hadn’t knocked it over plenty of times and been punished for the swear words that accompanied the wheelbarrow and its spilled contents. He grinned at the thought. He had been quite a handful. He supposed his parents still thought so. Maybe even more so now and in that last few years since high school. Garrett suspected his brother, Matt, often ratted on him. Nora and he had come to an understanding about such things. There were secrets he knew of his older sister’s that the others would hound him about if they even had an inkling that it were so.
Nora had a six year old son, Drew that she had gotten pregnant with one wild summer. She had always been the wild child. Born to raise hell and ask questions later. Well, she never answered the most often asked question. Who was Drew’s father? No one knew; not even Garrett. She’d straightened herself out. She’d finished nursing school and took a job at the veteran’s hospital in Hot Springs. She’d diligently reworked her life to fit a child into it. Just last year she had married Randy White, who also was the Crossing Pines ranch foreman. Randy had been in love with Nora for longer than anyone could count and she’d finally succumbed to his pursuit. It hurt Garrett to know that Nora wasn’t happy in her marriage. She wasn’t happy with herself for that matter.
Then there was his little brother, Matt. The soft-hearted, kindred soul that had happened to find his wife, Andy and her infant daughter sitting in the hallway of an apartment building. Andy and Harper had found a special place in all of their hearts, but Matt was enamored from the moment they met. How many times had he heard the story? Garrett thought of Harper as his niece and Andy was the little sister he had never had. Her goodness and genuineness was endearing. Matt knew how lucky he was and Garrett was a little bit jealous of that fact. The couple had created the foundation of an equine therapy center that helped injured and distr
essed soldiers returning from war. It was quite the pride of their hometown of Hot Springs.
Garrett stowed the wheelbarrow and the pitch fork. He closed the door to the tack room and took up his coat. He couldn’t help but think that his siblings were figuring their futures out. He wondered why he couldn’t. He wondered why everything he touched seemed to disintegrate on impact.
Gosh, it has only been just over a decade since I thought I knew what I wanted. Had it been that long? What did he have to show for the years? A thriving, lucrative housing business. A beautiful house he co-owned with Matt in Rapid City. A sizeable nest egg. A different girl every night of the week if he wanted her. Buddies to meet him at the bar any night of the week too.
It really is an empty existence. Funny he hadn’t thought so until he’d had that fight about the ranch with his father and when he had met Rayne. Ok, maybe not so funny, but it seemed to be a strange coincidence. He brushed off the loose dirt from his jeans and lifted his hat from the nail. As he began to walk towards the door, the light bulb in the barn came on.
Power’s back on. Oh boy, that was a relief! He was starting to wonder just how bad the storm had affected the roads as well as the power lines. Since the electricity had been restored, at least for now, that would mean his family would come looking for him. Reality would come intruding before he wanted it too. He did hope it meant at least one more night with Rayne before she clammed up for good. Wondering what he was going to find once he entered the house, Garrett headed across the yard and up the stairs to the porch. It was well into the afternoon and his stomach was growling. As he took a deep breath at the doorknob, he wondered whether it was food or Rayne he was hungrier for.
~~~
Rayne almost cried with relief when the power came back on inside the house. Sanity was starting to take a backseat to the more predictable thoughts of being trapped in her childhood home with a handsome, but aggravating cowboy, who wanted to know all of her secrets. She wasn’t sure how long it would be before she cracked. It wouldn’t have been pretty. It would have been messy and painful. The baggage she carried would be too much for Garrett to handle and he would have run screaming for the hills.
That’s a whole lot of ‘would haves’. She mumbled under her breath about how terrifying this other realm could be. She hobbled from the kitchen to the living room where some semblance of order had been obtained. The bucket that was once hot and full of soap suds was now a hazy mess of dirt and webbing. The white rag was no longer recognizable as ever being that color. The room did smell better and that was a plus. She bent over to toss a couple of ragged couch pillows back onto the sagging piece of furniture. She sucked a sharp breath through her teeth forming a hissing sound. Her ankle throbbed like the very devil. Gritting her teeth, Rayne continued to plod on through the pain. The only piece of furniture still out in the open was the bookcase Garrett had shoved out before he left.
She regarded it with restraint. Any other time she would have thrown herself into the project and gotten it done. Now she wondered if she shouldn’t wait for Garrett to come back inside. Snidely the voice in her head reminded her that he had been outside for several hours now and it was likely he was hiding out. Probably wishing he had some means of escape other than riding horseback over a frozen tundra. Quietly she giggled thinking of his Wrangler clad backside frozen to the saddle.
“I haven’t needed a guy in a while. I don’t need one now.” Her flippant remark made her feel a bit better and bolstered her determination to do everything she normally might despite her ankle. Assessing the six-foot tall, solid wood bookcase, Rayne placed her hands on it; one gripping the corner and the other flat against the shelving. Steadying herself, she took a deep breath and began to apply pressure. It wouldn’t budge.
Come on, you stupid thing! She shook her head and began to push harder. It barely slid half an inch across the wood floor. She definitely didn’t think it was this heavy. It was only half full of books anyway.
“Ok, this is ridiculous!” She exclaimed in disbelief and grunted as she threw her body against the shelf, pushing as hard as she could. She wasn’t a weakling so it might have worked had she not underestimated what her bum ankle had been telling her. The bookshelf went over with a thud and Rayne landed hard on top of it.
“Oh my God.” Her breathless voice uttered as she felt her whole body jarred with the impact. She didn’t hear the front door close, but she did hear boots ringing on the floor. Garrett came running into the living room and slid as he tried to slow down.
“What the hell, Rayne? Are you trying to kill yourself?” There was care underneath the anger, but she responded to the anger first. She pressed her lips together as she tried to push herself up. It was awkward as she was sprawled over the bookshelf. He tried to help her by gripping her upper arm to steady her. As soon as she put weight on her ankle, she crumpled to the floor.
“Ow!” Her painful cry had him sweeping her up into his arms He was still cold from being outside for such a long time, but that hardly registered with her. A war broke out inside her! Boiling hot at being chastised like a child and melting into a puddle with the sheer lust that sped through her veins. It was a heady combination to be sure, but it was hardly healthy.
“Why didn’t you wait for me? Damn it, Rayne, you can’t be doing things like that!” Garrett raised his voice and his narrowed eyes spoke eloquently of his annoyance. She tried to remember that it was coming from a place of duty and responsibility, but it did little to lessen the angry defensiveness that bolted free of her grasp.
“Who the hell made you my keeper?” Rayne fairly spat out as he leaned to put her down on the couch. As soon as her ankle touched the flowered fabric, she winced and jerked her foot up. It throbbed as if a hundred bees had stung it. Tears hid in the corner of her eyes, but she wasn’t sure if it was the pain or the anger or a combination of both.
Probably both. Her chest heaved with her attempt to get a full breath.
Son of a bitch. Things were starting to spiral out of control again. It seemed the tighter she pulled on the reins, the less control she had. Garrett turned his back and shrugged out of his coat. His hat fell on top of the chair.
“Rayne, you’ve only made it worse. What possessed you to clean this whole room besides moving all the furniture back into place?” His rough voice softened in tone as he came back to her. He was struggling to leash his temper as well. She wondered just how volatile they would be together.
Stupid girl. There are no strings attached. You both agreed. The realization that she was thinking there could ever be more only made wounds smart more fiercely.
“I did what was necessary. I can’t sit still in here all alone. It was that or go crazy.” She growled, glancing up into his face and wishing she hadn’t. He read more in that one moment than she ever could have told him in words. His body stilled. The hand he had reached out to touch her with didn’t move any closer. The anger and lust simmered between them. There wasn’t any point in denying that it existed. It crackled and sparked with a beautiful fury.
Garrett closed his eyes and shook his head. His heavy chest still heaved in his exertion. Resolutely his brown eyes swept her face and he kneeled down beside the couch. She scooted back as far as she reasonably could, but he still came to her. With each leg on either side of him, he removed her sock and rolled her pant leg up from her injured ankle. All the fight was instantly gone. The flesh was really swollen and was starting to bruise. He cupped her heel in his palm and slid the other up her slender leg to push her jeans still further. She saw his lips move tentatively, but didn’t hear the words. She closed her eyes and nearly melted as those same lips met the angry flesh of her ankle. Involuntarily she started to shake at the intimacy of the gesture and then she shook with anticipation as he continued to kiss up her leg.
Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. The sound of a phone ringing in the silence of the room was almost deafening. Each of them were startled by the intrusion. Garrett sighed. Rayne winced.
“Looks like the phone lines are open.” Garrett said as he got to his feet and made his way towards the old corded, rotary phone. She was sure it was his family looking for him. Her heart fell the rest of the way to her stomach. She closed her eyes and rested her head back against the couch cushion.
How is it that when I am with him I either remember everything or remember nothing?
“Hello?” Garrett’s heavy voice spoke into the receiver and she waited for whatever else he had to say. “Yeah, Dad, I know what you meant. I’m fine. We’re fine. I’m going to be staying here at the Randall Ranch.” Garrett’s voice was sure, but she wondered if he weren’t hiding out here with her instead of facing the argument he had had with his father. It must have meant something to drive him from the house in such a fury when there was a snow storm forecasted.
“There was a mishap when Miss Randall came to find me. She’ll be fine but she won’t be getting around too well for a bit.” His tone had almost become terse and it brought her head around to look at him. His broad shoulders were straight and his head was tilted back as he looked at the ceiling. Nothing in his stance spoke of anything good. She could see the muscle ticking in his neck.
“No. Just have Randy pull the truck out and then come over here to dig us out.” Garrett pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to get a word in edgewise, but that must have been impossible. He glanced once at her before he shook his head. “Yes, Mom, I know. We’re fine. I’m sure Miss Randall would rather stay here. She isn’t into all the fuss.” He winked at Rayne when he said it. She was pretty sure his mother was trying to talk them back onto the Crossing Pines.
Good luck. It wasn’t the place for her and she really didn’t like being fussed over. Garrett could go back if he wanted. Her stomach rolled. If she were honest, it wasn’t an idea she favored.
