by Aaron Hicks
Laurilli blinked several times and sat next to him. She grabbed his hand and said, “You’re serious?” He nodded, and she continued, “I guess I just thought, what if that was my dad, or you, or Esolc, or Repus? And I realized he was someone to all those people, as if their Uktesh, or Thulmann, or Esolc, or Repus had just died.” Tears formed in her eyes again, and she took a shuddering breath, saying, “I just thought how much I would hurt if I lost any of you, and I couldn’t help but feel bad.” He put his arm around her as she cried softly into his shoulder.
Uktesh said, “I may be broken. I don’t think like that. Even the thought of losing you or Heathyr, while I would hate it doesn’t cause me to cry, or even tear up. I didn’t think it strange, it was just the way everyone was in my village. Funerals weren’t sad, they were a recounting of past deeds. You either are proud of what they’ve accomplished or you weren’t.”
Laurilli mumbled into his shirt, “That’s so cold.”
Uktesh said, “I was afraid of that. Before I met you I literally never cried out of sadness, I didn’t even cry when my dad died! When I did cry it was out of shame or embarrassment. I think you and your mom are helping me become a more emotional man. The only times I’ve cried are with you, either during our talks or when you sat with me after Myrtin’s death. I don’t think that it was sadness then that caused me to cry. I’ve thought back on it a few times, and I think I was more ashamed that my actions had led to his death than I was actually sad he’d died. I was sad that he had died, and that his potential would be unfulfilled, but I didn’t really feel his loss. And today, I’m not really sad some guy I’d never met died, because it happens all the time. Does me seeing it mean I should empathize with the family? I just don’t do that.”
Laurilli pulled back from him, put her hand to his cheek, and said, “You care, I know you do. Whether you cry or not, you care about your friends. Maybe you were ashamed, but you had to have had some sadness that a friend died; you said so yourself. I don’t think you’re broken, just stoic.”
Uktesh smiled and said, “I like that. I don’t know if you’re right, but I like your reasoning.”
Laurilli put her hands on either side of his face and pulled him into a tender kiss. “If you were broken, would you care if you were broken?”
Uktesh leaned his forehead against hers, “I love you.” He took a deep breath, stood, and helped up Laurilli, “I definitely probably will cry if you die.”
She smiled, “Definitely probably? That’s all I rank? If I die you better start pulling out nose hairs until you start crying!”
Uktesh said, “I have hair in my nose?” He put a finger to his nostril and didn’t feel anything while Laurilli burst into laughter. “You’re kidding!”
She laughed out, “No! You really do! But that was hilarious!”
Uktesh wished he knew how to Shadow Walk so he could check a mirror, but he would have to do that later. “Well come on. We should get to training before people think we’re lazing the day away.”
They got to the part of the path that was hidden by hanging moss and stepped carefully under the moss and around the bend in the cliff. Their eyes adjusted as the darkness enfolded them. After a minute they walked forward again, keeping close to the edge of the wall to avoid falling into a deep crevice. Once they reached the spiral stairs cut into the stone they were able to walk more normally, though the stairway wasn’t wide enough to allow them to walk side by side.
At the bottom of the stairs they split up to find their respective trainers, but not before a quick kiss of good luck.
Uktesh found Dayho at his usual place in the meditation room. As in each of the previous days, Uktesh sat near Dayho, straightened his spine, and tried to relax his mind into a meditative state. Dayho had explained that this was one of the ways the dragons trained for self-mastery.
There were three parts of self-mastery. The first was mastery over the mind. Dayho had explained that when you were able to master your mind, through meditation you would be able to master your body. A master of the mind could enter a state of meditation that not only replaced sleep, but also healed the body faster than it would on its own.
The second was mastery over the body, and this was achieved by having full control of each muscle in your body. A master of the body could sit in meditation and work each and every muscle in his body to the extent that exercise couldn’t duplicate.
The third part was mastery over the spirit, and this was much less clear to Uktesh then he would have liked.
Dayho had explained it multiple times, and each time he said, “Your body has energy. When you think too much you become tired and slow to think. When you work too much you become tired and slow to move. Likewise, when your very spirit is used too much you become tired and unwilling to do anything. We strengthen all three through meditation, action, and deed. Have you even found yourself unwilling to do a kind deed for a friend, but after you’ve done it, even if it was physically taxing, your feel more energized then when you began? That is your spirit allowing you to do more physically than you could without it. A fully healthy man of equal strength to another man can do more than the other man can if he feels better about himself.”
Uktesh had said, “Like the power of positive thinking?”
Dayho nodded and said, “It’s similar. If you think you’re going to do well, but haven’t prepared well, you will fail. With your spirit, if you believe you’re going to win a fight, but haven’t prepared will you will lose. The difference is that with spirit, if you have prepared well you have the possibility of exceeding what your physical preparation would allow.”
Uktesh realized that thinking about this was interrupting his meditation. He cleared his mind and took three deep, full, breaths. His breathing began to flow more evenly. He visualized the darkness in front of his closed eyes. As he continued to breath he visualized a light in the distance. As he mentally travelled toward the light he saw that it was a door, with light shining around the cracks. This was the door to all his potential.
He opened the door and was engulfed in light as all his potential flooded from the door and into him. As he let his potential flow into his body he stepped through the door and into the white space beyond. He saw that the space beyond was nothing but light-filled clouds. As the clouds began to part he saw water. Upon the water he saw ships, two dozen in all. He moved in closer and realized he’d never seen ships like these before.
He watched the fleet for some time until he saw where they were heading. A volcanic mountain island rise out of the sea, and as he sped toward the island he saw a beach. Next the saw a pier, and moved over the sea toward it.
What he saw there caused him to jerk sharply out of his meditative trance. Why did I see myself?
Dayho was sitting in front of Uktesh watching him. “It appears you’ve begun to master the art of meditation. Well done.”
Uktesh calmed himself and let his breathing return to normal. “I saw a fleet of ships heading this way. I didn’t recognize them and when I saw the island I saw that I was on the pier and that everything behind me was on fire.”
Dayho said, “Meditation can bring forth what we fear the most, and if can also show us glimpses of our future. It is only up to us to know which one we see.”
Uktesh said, “I’m just a beginner! I can’t see the future, right?”
Dayho said, “It is not a matter of time, it is a matter of depth of mediation. I would judge that even though you’ve just begun to learn, that you already are on the steps to mastering meditation, but a long way away from a true vision of the future.”
Uktesh had previously thought that he had failed to mediate so badly that he would never even get the basics. Now a grand master was telling him that he was already beginning to master it. Uktesh stretched out and asked, “What are we going to learn today, grand master?”
Dayho said, “Our time is nearly over. You’ve been mediating for hours.” Uktesh felt shocked that he had meditated more than a few min
utes. “Today, with this jump in meditative awareness, I’ll explain how to heal your body while meditating.”
Uktesh had wanted to learn this since he had first heard about it. He moved back into his meditative position, legs crossed at his ankles, palms resting up on his knees, and his back straight. “I’m ready, grand master.”
Dayho used his belt knife to cut his skin, which bled down his arm as he lifted his hand to show the cut to Uktesh. He settled into a meditative position of his own, “As I breathe deeply I think about the flow of my spirit throughout my body. I envision that the spirit is gathering inside my cut. I see that it’s stopping the flow of blood, that it’s pulling together the ends of my skin along the cut.” As he spoke Uktesh saw that Dayho’s body was responding as he spoke. “I see that my spirit has healed my skin of all injury and not even a scab is left.” Uktesh nodded in awe.
Uktesh said, “That was amazing!”
Dayho said, “That is the power we have when mind, body, and spirit work together.” Dayho nodded toward Uktesh’s knife, “Now you try it, don’t cut yourself too deeply, because you won’t be able to heal yourself as I just did.”
Uktesh scratched himself with his knife, and sat in a meditative position and thought about gathering his spirit to his cut and it healing him. As he sat there he could only feel his injury. Dayho said, “Remember your breathing. Don’t try to heal yourself until your body is ready to heal you.” Uktesh took three deep breaths before his breathing normalized. He thought about his spirit just flowing through his body, and he envisioned the cut on his arm like a red damaged area of his body, and envisioned his spirit flowing to the injury on its own as a defense against the injury itself. He thought about his spirit and body working together to close the gap of skin. When he blinked open his eyes he saw that Laurilli had joined Dayho. Uktesh looked at his arm and saw that he had a small scab. He couldn’t remember how big a line he’d cut, but he though the sab looked smaller than the original cut.
Uktesh held the sandwich and glas of berry juice that Dayho handed him. “Did I do it?”
Dayho smiled and said, “Eat and drink. Do you think you did anything?”
Uktesh took a bite, then four more as he realized that he was famished. He swallowed half the glass of berry juice and when he had drunk it all he said, “I don’t know. How long was I meditating?”
Dayho said, “Two hours.”
Uktesh looked at his cut and said, “With that much time, it would’ve scabbed over on its own.” He shook his head and took another bite. “Maybe I did a little bit, but I don’t think much.”
Dayho said, “For a first attempt any bit is a big accomplishment. That is it for today. Take your lovely young lady and get something to eat. I have a feeling that you’re going to be hungry.”
Uktesh frowned and said, “I know I’ve accomplished a lot today, but I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished anything. After lunch is it okay if I come back and spar?”
Dayho said, “I believe with today’s improvements that should you wish to, you can train with us the whole day.”
Uktesh and Laurilli looked at each other with surprise. They’d been forbidden from doing more than a few hours of training until they were able to handle the strain. “Thank you!”
Dayho said, “I did nothing. You’ve earned it.”
Uktesh and Laurilli walked back up the spiral stairs to the surface and she said, “That’s amazing! Two of my teachers aren’t allowed to train all day, and they’ve been doing this for years.”
Uktesh smiled, and said, “I can’t believe they’re letting me do this so soon. You need to work on your meditation. I guess it’s a bigger deal than fighting well.”
Laurilli said, “Sure, you can say that. You’re the one that fought and defeated five dragons.”
Uktesh thought about it and said, “I guess you’re right, I’ve already got the fighting down, so they probably needed to see that I could meditate before I could progress.”
As they exited the hidden cave and blinked in the sudden sunlight Laurilli said, “I beat Yuros today. He was not happy, but he couldn’t really take it out on me. It wasn’t a fluke. I’m actually getting better a lot quicker than they expected. Ryth said that tomorrow I’d get five new trainers. Oh, and I found out that they do expect us to get the dragon tattoos once we’re at that level.”
Uktesh said, “Even the girls?” He had a sudden vision of a dragon wrapped around Laurill’s full torso and couldn’t help but grin.”
Laurilli punched his arm and said, “You know Ryth has one. On this island everyone knows who is and who is not a dragon.”
Uktesh said, “Does that mean that we just haven’t seen many of them?”
Laurilli said, “Or there are fewer true dragons than we’d thought.”
While Uktesh thought about that he felt Laurilli’s hand reach for his and he held hers while they walked. “I wonder if they’re always training. I mean the few that we’ve seen aside from Pamfilo’s dad and at the play were in the place where dragon’s train.”
Laurilli said, “With how much respect the dragons get on this island I would think that they all continue training. Maybe even more now that some punk kid keeps beating them up.”
Uktesh smiled at her sarcasm and said, “Or it’s because a little girl is already better than some of their trainees.”
Laurilli let go of his hand and jumped on his back, “I’ll show you ‘little girl,’ when I beat you to the ground.” She used her right hand to hit the top of his head a few times before she leaned forward and hugged him. He bent and lifted with his legs so that she moved up to a better position and tucked his arms under her legs. “Do you think I’ll look stupid with a giant dragon tattooed around my chest?”
Uktesh said, “I don’t think you could ever look stupid, but with or without a tattoo I think you’ll look perfect to the man who loves you.”
She sighed wistfully into his ear and said, “I wonder when I’ll meet him?” She leaned forward and kissed his cheek to make it clear she was kidding. Uktesh turned and started walking down the main path to the dining area.
Uktesh said, “You keep joking like that and I’m going to start looking for a younger wife to replace you.”
Laurilli said, “Not even married yet, and you’re already planning my replacement?”
Uktesh said, “I’ll wait ten years or so, and then marry someone five or ten years younger than you. She’ll have to be blond with blue eyes, just enough like you that you’ll know she’s a replacement.”
Laurilli laughed and said, “As if you’d find someone to replace me! I’m that best thing that’s ever happened to you. Plus if you do that, I’ll marry Larut.”
Uktesh felt his jaw drop in shock. Does she have a crush on Larut? For real? He ignored his thoughts, though, and said, “Or really? Please enlighten me as to why?”
Laurilli was barely able to say her sentence before she burst out laughing, “Because of his magical belt buckle!” Uktesh laughed with her.
Uktesh said, “I still can’t believe you did that to him, or that he believed it was working!”
Laurilli hugged him closer and said, “Yeah, he’s silly. You’re the only one for me.”
He turned his head to kiss her and after she broke it off he said, “Yup, you’re the only one for me too. What do you think you’ll do after lunch now that I’m going to be sparring with Dayho?”
She said, “I don’t know, probably spar with Esolc or Repus. Maybe I’ll go shopping with Mom or just relax with her at the beach or pool. Or maybe I’ll see if I can convince Leilani or Pamfilo to teach me the Mjura now that I’ve perfected the Raqs Sharqi and the Raqs Baladi, as I demonstrated the other night.”
Uktesh could feel his face heat at the memory of her dance for him. He’d needed to take a long cold shower after that. I can’t wait to get married! “So this whole waiting-a-year thing? How firm do you think your mom is about that?”
As the turned off the main path toward the di
ning area Laurilli laughed, nibbled his ear, and said, “Why? Is there something you would like to do that we’re not allowed to do until we’re married?”
Uktesh had to swallow, to wet his suddenly dry throat before he said, “I think there’s something we both would like to do, but can’t until we’re married.”
Laurilli said huskily, “I can’t deny that, but just you wait until I learn the Mujra. Then you’ll be mine forever!”
Uktesh put her down and kissed her like he had for the play. When he pulled away he said, “I’m already yours forever.”
She blinked a few times, hugged herself against his arm, and said, “Good. Because I am going to be yours forever too. No substitutes allowed.”
“Hey get a room you two!”
Uktesh turned to see that not only were they in view of Repus, Esolc, Pamifilo, Leilani, and Heathyr, but that the rest of those in the dining area had stopped eating and were staring at the young couple. Uktesh felt his already hot face burn more fiercely. He turned to see that Laurilli was similarly affected by their sudden popularity. He grabbed her hand and they walked past their table to get some food. By the time they’d made their selections and they were both back to a normal skin color. Together they put their plates on the table and went back for drinks.
When they sat down Uktesh broke the tension by asking, “So, Heathyr. That whole waiting-a-year thing? How serious are you about that?”
Heathyr glared at him with a grin she couldn’t force away, “Very serious!”
Uktesh nodded and said, “I’ve been thinking about that. I’ve known Laurilli for almost ten months and we did sorta get engaged that first night I met her. So if you think about it that way we could get married here, about two weeks before we leave.” Uktesh shoveled food into his mouth and carefully avoided looking at Heathyr.
Laurilli, however, was beyond excited when she said, “That’s right! We did say something about that! Please Mom! Please? You already know we’re perfect for each other! I’d much rather get married here on this beautiful island than in Manori.”
