by Julia Wolf
“So, no Mrs. Will?”
He shook his head, eyes dancing with amusement. “No, Anna. There’s no Mrs. Will. I’ve never come close to having a Mrs. Will.”
My shoulders sagged with relief. I hadn’t actually thought Will would be dipping me in the middle of Baltimore or holding my hand if he was married, but the possibility had made my heart race.
The feelings I’d had for Will a decade ago had come surging back with a vengeance. Once he'd touched me, held me in his strong arms, I was a goner. I was ready to serve him my beating heart on a platter.
But that was gross and a tad intense. So I probably wouldn’t tell him that.
I set my beer down on the bar and turned my body to face him. “So tell me, what have you been up to the last ten years?”
He chuckled and turned to me so that my legs were pressing against his.
“Well, culinary school in New York. Then I moved to Venezuela for a year and worked in a bakery. Although my abuela will tell you she was the one who taught me how to make proper arepas.”
“Mmmmm…can you make me one filled with cheese, like your dad used to make?”
I had to stop my eyes from rolling back in my head when I thought of the corn cakes Will’s family had introduced me to. In the years since, I’d never been able to find any as good as the ones his dad made.
He moved his legs so they were on the outside of mine. “Absolutely. I’ll make you all the arepas you could ever want.”
“I don’t think I could ever get my fill of your arepas.”
He cocked his head. “Are you flirting with me, Ms. Rainer?”
I picked up my beer bottle and traced my finger through the beads of condensation. “Maybe. What if I was?”
“I’d say I liked it.”
Flustered and needing a moment to gather my wits, I tipped the bottle against my lips and drained my beer. Will watched me the entire time, his eyes locked on my mouth.
I licked the beer off my lips and said, “Tell me more about baking.”
He scrubbed his face with his hands. “Uh, baking. So yeah, after Venezuela, I came back to Baltimore and worked in a commercial kitchen, learning the ropes. Then a couple years ago I opened my own. We make both Korean and Latin baked goods for restaurants and stores. Five days a week I have to get up at the asscrack of dawn, but otherwise it’s pretty much my dream job.”
I clamped my hands on his knees. “Oh my god. You don’t happen to make the little doughnut balls filled with red beans they sell on the Baltimore Korean taco truck, do you?”
He laughed and nodded. “Yep, those are my balls.”
This time my eyes did roll back in my head as I thought of those doughnuts. “Will. They’re the most delicious things I’ve ever had in my mouth. And yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s what she said. I know.”
“If only I’d known the way to your heart was through my balls.”
I opened my eyes and met his gaze. “You always had my heart. You were my best friend. Your family was more my family than my own.”
He shook his head. “I know. That was a stupid, throwaway comment. Forget it.” He looked over his shoulder. “Wanna go play pinball?”
I hopped off my stool and offered him my arm. “Yes. Let’s.”
“Aren’t I supposed to offer you my arm?”
I pushed his chest. “Are we living in the nineteenth century? Please allow me to escort you to the pinball machines, kind sir.”
“Why the hell not?” He looped his arm through mine and I wove my fingers through his and away we went.
Will threw his arms in the air. “I am the pinball boss!”
I laughed and leaned against my machine. We’d been playing side by side for a while and I had to admit Will’s pinball skills far surpassed my own.
At some point he’d taken off his suit jacket and rolled up his sleeves. His arms were covered in tattoos, surprising me. And damn was he even sexier with his tie loose around his neck, his sleeves rolled up, and those tattoos on display. He was still my Will, just amplified.
I held my hands up and he high-fived me, but he didn’t let go. He brought our joined hands down to our sides and leaned his forehead on mine.
“You’re fun,” he said.
“I think it was the game you were playing that was so fun.”
He kissed my cheek with a loud smack. Then, letting go of one hand, he spun me in a circle, and pulled me back in.
“No, it’s you, Anna.”
I could have leaned in right then and kissed him. I wouldn’t have had to go far. His mouth was inches from mine, so close I felt his ragged breath on my lips. But there was too much history, too much distance between us to bridge the gap. Right now, at least.
“I could use another beer,” I said.
He nodded and let me go. “Me too. I’m feeling quite parched from my pinball victory. Why don’t you park yourself here and I’ll go grab us a couple bottles.”
I hopped up on a stool at the empty high top table next to the games, yanking down the hem of my dress. I had to get out of this stupid dress as soon as humanly possible.
A hipster-looking guy in jeans skinnier than any I’d ever worn sidled up to my table, taking a slow perusal of me. I’d noticed him eyeing me for a while, but I’d been too focused on Will to give him a second thought.
I raised my eyebrows at him. “What’s up?”
“Hey, pretty. This seat taken?” he asked.
I gave him my meanest, dead-eyed glare, the one that had been known to send grown men running with their tails between their legs. He stared back, his eyes glassy. Drunk. Alcohol had rendered him immune to my glare.
“Really, dude? You’ve been three feet away from my friend and me for the last hour. You know this seat’s taken,” I said.
“You with that guy?” he asked.
I snorted. “Yep, he’s my man.”
He waved a hand. “Too bad.”
A warm arm settled over my shoulder and a cold beer was set down on the table in front of me.
I reached up behind me and laid my hand on Will’s cheek. “My man’s back.” Will wrapped his other arm around me possessively, resting on my stomach.
Hipster-douche wandered off without another word, but Will kept his hands on me, the heat from his skin radiating through the thin fabric of my dress. When he moved his thumb back and forth over my stomach, I shivered and leaned my head back on his chest.
“I saw the look you gave that guy. You know you’re kind of scary, right?” he asked against my ear.
I nuzzled my face against his rough cheek. “Just when I want to be. I’m usually quite the charmer.”
He growled and said, “You’re charming the fuck out of me right now.”
I laughed and pressed a soft kiss to his jaw. “Come sit down, you goon. I’m not making out with you in a bar.”
He sat across from me and grinned. “Oh, did you think I wanted to kiss you? Gross.”
I kicked him under the table. “Yeah, you’ve made it abundantly clear how disgusting you find me.”
He brushed his hand up and down the air in front of me. “You’ve got the whole leggy bombshell thing going. Nobody likes that.”
I cackled. “Oh jeez, that’s the first time anyone’s called me that. You know I never wear shit like this. Luckily, I found a job where they let me wear pants and boots every day.”
He turned his beer bottle in circles on the table. “So, I filled you in on the last ten years of my life. You tell me about yours.”
I leaned back in my seat, my smile fading. “My path has not been anywhere near as straight and smooth as yours.”
He skimmed his fingertips over my knuckles. “Tell me.”
Four
Will
Anna ran her hands through her hair, puffed out her cheeks, and then blew out a long, slow breath.
“I lasted for one semester in college. It was awful. I only went to make my parents happy.”
I jerked my head back. “What? You didn’
t stay in California?”
She shook her head. “No, I didn’t. But by the time I came back to the East Coast, you were in New York, so I thought…”
“I came home all the damn time. The train ride’s only three hours. You should have told me.”
“Easy to say now. But back then, everything was still so fresh, so raw. You wouldn’t have wanted to hear from me.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “I think I would have.”
“I was such a mess, Will. My parents kicked me out, so I bummed on people’s couches for six months while I worked at a coffee shop.”
I slammed my beer bottle down on the table. “What the fuck, Anna? Your parents kicked you out?”
I knew her parents were no picnic. They went back and forth between being complete assholes and being completely absent, no in-between. But to throw their teenage daughter out of their house? I was stunned.
“Mm-hmm. When I told them I wanted to go to cosmetology school, you’d think I’d said I’d murdered someone. Barbara and Jeffrey Rainer’s only child would not lower herself to be a common hairstylist. Every Rainer attended college, no arguments. So they gave me an ultimatum and I called their bluff. And out on the street I went.”
“Damn, Anna. I’m sorry.”
She picked at the edge of the table. “I’m not. I scrounged and saved and ate a lot of ramen, but I sent myself to cosmetology school. I did it all on my own. Passing my state boards and getting my license in the mail was all the more sweet because my parents didn’t hand it to me, you know?”
I nodded. This strong, brave woman had become so much more than the girl I fell in love with. When she could have become bitter and given up, given in, she chose the hard way. And she fucking thrived.
I squeezed her hand. “I’m really proud of you, Annie.”
She looked off to the side and blinked rapidly. “That’s sweet, Will. That means a lot to me.” She sniffed and turned back to me. “I hope you can understand why I didn’t call.”
“I do. Of course I do. I wish I could have been there for you, but I get it.”
“I’ve been at the same salon for five years in a cute little town. Ever been to Tiber City?”
“I think so. Cobblestone streets, right?”
“That’s the place,” she said. “My salon’s right on Main Street. I work with some rad women and I make enough money so I can finally live in my own place without roommates. No more sharing bathrooms!” She tipped her beer at me and then took a swig.
“Livin’ the dream!” I chuckled. “Do you live in Tiber City too?”
“Yep, I have an adorable place above an antique shop. My boss used to live there, and when she moved out, I took it over. I have an actual balcony!”
I loved hearing how happy she was, what a great life she’d built from nothing. My parents annoyed the hell out of me sometimes with their overinvolvement in my life, but they were my rock-solid support. Everything I’d accomplished had been with them standing in my corner. They’d been so pissed at me for screwing things up with Anna. I couldn’t wait to tell them we were back in touch. My mom would insist she come over for dinner and I knew if I told my dad she’d missed his arepas, he’d make her a hundred of them.
That same rush of affection I’d felt earlier had only grown over the last couple hours, so much so that I was drowning in it. How could I feel this way for her? It was too soon. There was a vast expanse of years between then and now, and somehow we’d leapt over it and picked each other up, without looking back. But that vastness was still there behind us, and there was no going forward without the feel of it pressing on our backs.
Right now, though, the only thing I wanted was Annie. I wanted to look at her, make her laugh, and forget the bullshit we’d put each other through. We’d face it. There was no way we couldn’t. But this moment, with her, felt more important than any other moment of my life.
“Can I drive you home?” I asked.
She paused, beer in mid-air. “Yeah, you can, Will. I’d love that.”
“Do you want to finish your beer?”
She set it down with a clunk and held her hand out. “Let’s get outta here.”
My car was back at the hotel, so we backtracked, still hand in hand. The streets had gotten quieter, but every so often someone would open a door and we’d be blasted with a cacophony of bar sounds and halos of light on the sidewalk.
“When this night started, I never would have imagined I’d be taking you back to my little town,” she said.
“Honestly, me neither. I didn’t think things would be so easy between us.”
“Maybe ten years was long enough for both of us to get over it all.”
“Are you over it?” I asked.
She bit her lip. “I’m over myself more than anything.”
I lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles. “That makes one of us.”
She turned her head sharply toward me. “You’re not over me?”
“Do I seem over you, Annie?”
“I—I don’t know.”
“We don’t have to rush anything. I’m not going anywhere.”
She sighed. “We still haven’t really talked about it. About everything that happened.”
“We will.”
On the twenty-minute drive from Baltimore to Tiber City, Anna stayed quiet, drawing patterns on the window with her fingertips.
Ten years ago, my best friend broke my heart. She shut me down and shut me out, closed the door to both our friendship and the more that I wanted. And she did it all five minutes after I was inside her for the first time. After we’d lost our virginities to each other.
I spent years being angry with her. But in all that time, I never stopped wanting her. And now all I wanted was to protect her, to hold her safe, to love her. She’d proven she didn’t need saving. She could do this on her own. I wanted her all the more for it.
Five
Anna
My life had been a true shitshow for a few years there. I grew up rich, never knowing what it was like to really have to work for what I wanted. That ended the day I left my parents’ house. I worked myself to the damn bone just to survive.
But I’d done it. I’d survived it. And I ended up in a pretty awesome place when I finally came out the other side.
Now, maybe I’d get to have Will back.
The way he'd looked at me when I told him what I went through stood out in stark contrast from my memory of the way he’d looked at me ten years ago. I’d been a heartless, ruthless bitch. My own worst enemy. Tromper of feelings and breaker of the only heart I’d ever really cared about.
The bumps of Will’s tires on cobblestone brought me out of my reverie. We’d made it to Tiber City.
“Where’s your place?” he asked.
I directed him halfway down the hill and pointed out my salon as we passed. The smoky purple paint on the building never failed to make me grin.
After Will pulled his car into the narrow driveway, we climbed out and met at the bumper, and he grabbed my hand immediately. It was just after midnight and Main Street was quiet, everything closed up tight for the night. Will and I stood cocooned in the darkness, our breathing and the distant murmur of the highway the only sounds.
“Um, so do you want to come up?” I asked.
He stepped closer to me. “Of course I do.”
I led him up the metal steps on the side of my building to my apartment. I had to let go of his hand to unlock my door, but I felt him behind me, the front of his body barely skimming my back. I fumbled with my keys, my mind distracted by the urge to lean back into him, but I finally opened the door and stepped inside.
Will kicked off his dress shoes just inside the door and then kneeled down in front of me and started untying my boot.
“What are you doing?” I asked in a whisper.
He looked up and my knees weakened at the sight of him. “Helping you out of your shoes. I remember it used to take you forever to unlace these things.”
&
nbsp; As he worked on my laces, I tentatively stroked my fingers through his silky black hair. When he leaned into my hand, I dove into his thick hair, pulling gently as I let it slip through my fingers.
“What are you doing?” he asked gruffly.
“I always loved your hair.”
He pulled my first boot off and laid it next to him. “I remember that too,” he said.
I played with the hair around his ear, just starting to get shaggy. I wonder if he’d let me give him a trim sometime.
Will pulled off my other boot but made no move to get up. He leaned his forehead against my thigh as I stroked his hair with both hands.
“That feels so good, Anna.”
The heat from his words trailed up my thighs and settled in my core. He had me ready to kneel on the floor next to him and stay down there for days, if only he’d keep letting me touch him like this. But then my stomach let out a loud growl and we both laughed.
Will spread his hand on my belly and looked up at me. “You smuggling a monster in there?”
I grabbed his hand and pulled him up to standing. “Maybe, so you better watch it! I’ll let her loose.”
“We’d better feed the monster then, so she doesn’t get too hangry.”
He sauntered off to my galley kitchen, making himself right at home, like he’d been here a million times before. When I joined him, he already had a stack of food in his arms.
“How about midnight pancakes?” he asked.
I leaned my hip on the marble counter. “How are they different from regular pancakes?”
He set the ingredients on the counters and tapped my nose. “They’re made at midnight, silly. Oh, and chocolate chips.”
I giggled. “I should have known.” I watched him sift flour and baking powder—I’d never sifted anything in my life and hadn’t realized I owned a sifter until that moment. “I can’t believe you’re cooking for me. I feel privileged!”
He grinned over his shoulder. “Keep me around and it’ll be a regular occurrence.”
