‘What the hell are you doing here?’ she said. ‘I didn’t say I wanted to see you.’
‘Well, that’s a nice greeting.’ Troy got up laconically, stretching his long limbs in a languorous sensual movement. He’d always reminded her of a predator – a lion perhaps – and she recognized that look in his eye. Bastard thought it would be a cinch. He was still so sure of his power over her.
‘Troy, I haven’t seen you in over two years,’ she said. ‘You’ve only seen your children once since they were born, and never paid me any maintenance. Why should I give you a nice greeting?’
‘Because you know, despite it all, you and me are made for each other.’
He leant over to touch her cheek, but she pushed him away, her heart pounding with a combination of anger and attraction. The knowledge that the attraction was there made her angrier than ever.
‘When did you have this revelation? The last time I saw you, I seem to remember you saying you were a free spirit, made to wander, not cut out for domestic life.’
‘Yeah, well. I may have got that a bit wrong,’ said Troy.
‘Latest floozy kicked you out?’ said Lauren. ‘Think I’ve been there before.’
‘There isn’t a latest floozy,’ said Troy. ‘I’ve just been through some stuff lately that’s got me thinking. I realize I’ve not been a good dad—’
‘You’ve not been a dad at all,’ snorted Lauren.
‘—and I’ve treated you badly. But I would like to get to know the girls properly. And you know I’ve always had feelings for you. I still do.’
‘Stop!’ said Lauren. ‘You don’t get to wander back into my life, declaring undying love and move straight back in again. You just don’t. And while I’m delighted you’re at last showing an interest in your daughters, they’re older now. I want you to have a proper relationship with them. You can’t wander in and out at will. You’ve got to be here for the duration.’
‘I can be,’ said Troy. ‘I want to be. Can I see them?’
‘They’re not here,’ said Lauren. ‘They’re at Mum’s for the night. And I have to go to work now, so please just go.’
‘Please, don’t shut me out of their lives,’ said Troy. He looked so woebegone, she softened. Damn his beautiful blue eyes. They were her Achilles’ heel. ‘I really do mean it this time.’
Lauren sighed. After her irritating morning at Joel’s, Troy was the last thing she wanted to be dealing with.
‘Why?’ she said. ‘Why are you here, after all this time? And how can I possibly trust you?’
For the first time Troy looked slightly less sure of himself.
‘There’s been some stuff going on in my personal life,’ he mumbled.
‘Stuff? What stuff?’ To Lauren’s knowledge Troy didn’t ‘do’ personal problems.
‘It’s to do with my dad,’ said Troy, in a manner that suggested every word he was saying was torture. Which for him, it probably was. Troy’s dad was among a number of subjects that Lauren had quickly discovered were taboo. For him to even mention his dad must mean something was up. Lauren took a deep breath. Perhaps she should give him a chance, but she wasn’t going to make it easy for him.
‘What about your dad?’ she said.
‘He’s – he’s been in touch,’ said Troy. ‘He’s not well at all, and wanted to meet me. I’ve been to see him, but it’s too late. He’s done nothing for me my whole life, I just don’t want to know now. And it made me realize what I’m missing. Please. I really do mean it; I would like to see the girls.’
He looked at her so plaintively she felt like slapping him. Arrogant Troy was far more attractive than this pleading version.
‘OK. I’ll think about it,’ said Lauren. ‘I would like the girls to know their dad, but if you let them down I’ll crucify you – understand?’
‘Got it,’ Troy said. ‘But this time I promise I won’t.’
Kezzie spent the afternoon poring over some of the letters and diaries that she and Joel had found. It was fascinating stuff, full of the minutiae of other people’s lives. She’d been particularly taken with the letters Edward had written Lily when he was abroad in India. Astonishing to think of the journeys they’d made in those days, and all so Edward could collect exotic plants – apparently there was at least one rhododendron at Kew named after him. Kezzie had also been excited to discover a black and white photo in one of the piles of letters. It was obviously out of place, as it was dated 1905 and pictured the original opening of the Memorial Gardens, when it was still known as Heartsease Public Gardens. Edward and Lily were standing in front of the garden’s iron gates in the middle of a group of people, looking very stiff and formal, but maybe that was just the way photographs were done in those days. All the women wore light summer dresses with high lace collars and trim waistlines, and the men were in suits. Although the print was faded, it looked as though they were all squinting, so presumably it had been a sunny day. Kezzie liked the fact that Edward had done something for his community, it made her feel connected to him in some small way. She was beginning to feel connected in Heartsease, too.
When Kezzie had first moved in to Jo’s cottage, she’d imagined she’d be bored rigid living in the country. Flick would have laughed in her face had she known, but to her surprise, despite missing her friends in town, Kezzie was slowly getting used to village life, and being here was certainly making her feel more rational about the whole Richard situation. Yes, she’d been an idiot. He’d been right to be angry with her, she could see that now, where before she’d thought he was overreacting. But he had been cruel. When she’d tried to make it up to him, Richard had reacted in such a coldly furious way that Kezzie had felt almost as though she didn’t know him. But then she thought back to his teasing comments in their early days together about her being a ‘Greenham’ and a dropout, when she’d thought he could be quite priggish and fuddy duddy. Kezzie had always felt their differences had made their relationship stronger, but perhaps she’d been wrong about that. Maybe they were just too different, and her actions had just highlighted the fact that they should never have been together in the first place.
Kezzie sighed, and put everything away. She wasn’t so over Richard that the thought of an evening on her own in the cottage, brooding about him, was at all appealing. There wasn’t much on TV, and although she still had to respond to Jo’s last email, and had lots to do on her new website, she wasn’t in the mood for sitting at home. She decided to go down the pub. Lauren had said she was working that night, and it might do her good to get to know some other people in Heartsease.
After a quick bite to eat, Kezzie set off down the hill and made her way to the village pub. The Labourer’s Legs was near the small village green, which formed the heart of the village. It backed onto the local pond where they drowned witches in medieval times, if the books in the little ethnic shop just off the High Street were to be believed. Now it was home to some ducks, a few moor hens and a pair of very bad-tempered swans.
She walked into the pub, which was quite small and cosy with its little nooks and crannies and an oak beamed ceiling. A large fire was crackling in the far corner, and she immediately spotted Lauren behind the bar, polishing glasses.
‘Oh Lauren, am I glad to see you,’ confessed Kezzie. ‘I couldn’t face the thought of an evening at home alone, but I was a bit nervous about coming in here on my own.’
‘No need to worry,’ said Lauren, ‘the natives are quite friendly. I’ll introduce you to some. What are you having?’
‘Lager, thanks,’ said Kezzie.
Several lagers and some introductions later, Kezzie found herself in the middle of a lively group of locals, including John Townley (whom Lauren had whispered she should avoid like the plague), the eponymous Keith of the café fame, who was an ex-fashion designer and full of outrageous stories about some of the rich and famous he’d encountered in his previous line of work, and a couple of cheery builders who tried it on, but cheerfully accepted the knockback Kezzie gave
them. She’d have felt awkward being the only woman, but luckily Eileen arrived with a man called Tony. They seemed to know everyone, so Kezzie soon felt accepted into the crowd. She had a fun and raucous evening, and felt fairly sozzled by the time she left at the end of Lauren’s shift, which somehow carried on until gone midnight.
‘What time were you supposed to finish?’ Kezzie asked Lauren as they walked up the hill together.
‘Eleven,’ said Lauren, ‘but Andy and Sally are good at disappearing when I need them. They only made an appearance at the end because it got so busy.’
‘You shouldn’t put up with it,’ said Kezzie. ‘You’re far too nice. I told Joel so today. He takes advantage of you.’
‘Oh, you didn’t!’ Lauren looked mortified.
‘Well, he was out of order,’ said Kezzie. ‘I felt so embarrassed when I realized you’d made all those sandwiches for us. There was no need.’
‘Habit,’ said Lauren. ‘I was pissed off, I don’t deny it. The trouble with Joel is, he can be so hopeless sometimes it’s easy to fall into the habit of looking after him.’
‘Oh, is it now?’ said Kezzie, resolving never to do the same. ‘Well you shouldn’t; you should stick up for yourself more.’
‘I know,’ said Lauren. ‘Easier said than done, though.’
Kezzie thought back to how pathetic she’d become around Richard. ‘True,’ she said. ‘We should be women, not wimps.’
‘Yeah, right!’ said Lauren, laughing at Kezzie as she fumbled for her keys and brought out her lipstick by mistake. ‘Come on, let me help you inside.’
Kezzie giggled her head off as she and Lauren sorted out her keys. It reminded her of being out for the night with Flick. She said good night to Lauren and let herself in the cottage. For the first time since she’d been here, she didn’t feel quite so lonely.
Chapter Ten
Lauren was still smiling when she let herself in. As she absentmindedly tidied up toys in the lounge before going to bed, she thought to herself how much she had enjoyed Kezzie’s company. She realized with a jolt that apart from Eileen, she didn’t have many girlfriends. Those she’d made at uni had faded away after the twins were born, and her friends from home had all moved on. Despite the age difference between them, Claire had been a fantastic friend to her in the short time they’d known each other. It wasn’t just that they’d bonded over their children, Claire had been like the big sister Lauren had never had. But Claire was gone and had left a huge hole in Lauren’s life. No one could replace Claire of course, but Lauren hoped that she could become mates with Kezzie. It would be nice to have someone to share things with again.
Though it was late when Lauren went to bed, she felt unable to sleep. It felt strange without the twins in the house. It didn’t happen very often, but when her mum had the girls overnight Lauren missed them dreadfully. Added to which, whenever she shut her eyes a picture of Troy swam before her. To her annoyance, she realized half-forgotten desires were stirring. She’d put Troy firmly out of her mind for so long now, she’d convinced herself she was over him. But, dammit, there was a residual – who was she kidding – a strong attraction still. They had chemistry, always had. And it was that whole free-spirit nonsense that had attracted her in the first place. Of course, Lauren thought she’d be the one to tame him. And of course she’d been wrong. But maybe this time he really had changed. He did seem more grown up somehow. But then again, did the leopard change its spots?
She slept late in the morning, luxuriating in a rare opportunity to lie in, and enjoying the comfort of her double bed with its fresh linen and bright flowery bedspread. One of the luxuries of living without a man was that Lauren revelled in having a girlie bedroom, which made her feel relaxed and homely. The rest of the house was the same. Though there was the inevitable clutter that came from having small children in the house, Lauren had paid a lot of attention to having the house decorated brightly, with cheerful curtains and comfy rugs on the floors. Even though it was a rented house, and she didn’t have much money, Lauren wanted her home to be bright and homely, and for the most part she felt it was.
Lauren made herself a cup of tea, and went upstairs to have a shower. She had just turned it on, when the doorbell rang. Thinking it was her mum bringing the girls home, she threw a towel around her and leapt down the stairs.
‘Hi, Mum,’ she said, flinging the door wide open. Then, ‘Oh––’
On the doorstep stood Troy with a bunch of flowers, and closely following behind, walking up the garden path, was Joel with Sam under one arm, and another bunch of flowers under the other.
‘Blimey. You wait all your life for men to bring you bunches of flowers, then two arrive at once,’ she said weakly.
‘Who’s he?’ they said simultaneously.
‘Joel, this is Troy, the girls’ dad. Troy, this is Joel, I look after his son, Sam,’ said Lauren, feeling surreal. And then because she couldn’t think of anything else to say, added, ‘Would you both like a cup of tea?’
‘No, I’d best be off,’ said Joel, looking awkward. ‘I don’t want to disturb you when you’ve got guests.’
‘Troy’s not a guest,’ said Lauren automatically.
‘I just wanted to say sorry for being such a selfish sod yesterday. Here, take these, I hope you like them.’
Lauren leant forward to take the flowers. She was slightly staggered but pleasantly surprised that Joel had at least acknowledged he’d been a twat. As she did so, her towel came undone.
‘Oh, shit!’ she said, as she exposed herself to everyone in the Lane.
‘Nothing I haven’t seen before,’ said Troy, with a familiar look in his eye.
‘Now I really had better go,’ said Joel, looking mortified. Lauren pulled the towel tightly around herself again in confusion.
‘I knew you couldn’t resist me,’ continued Troy, as Joel walked away. ‘Is that cup of tea still on?’
‘Yes, I suppose so,’ said Lauren. ‘But I really am only offering tea.’
Joel, feeling like a total idiot after his botched attempt at apologizing to Lauren, went round to see Kezzie. She opened the door looking bleary eyed.
‘Mind if we come in?’ he said. ‘I just called on Lauren, only it seems she’s got – er – company.’
‘Who would that be, then?’ said Kezzie, frowning. ‘I saw her at the pub last night and we walked home together. She didn’t mention that anyone was coming round today. I didn’t think Lauren had a boyfriend.’
‘I don’t think she does,’ said Joel. ‘It was her ex.’
Kezzie whistled, ‘What, the one who left her in the labour ward?’
‘The very same,’ said Joel, unsure why he felt quite so uneasy about the sudden reappearance of Troy, or why the sight of Lauren’s naked body was making him feel all hot and bothered. From everything Joel had heard about Troy from Lauren, it seemed he could only be bad news, and the thought of him hurting Lauren again made Joel feel strangely uncomfortable.
‘Ouch,’ said Kezzie. ‘I hope she’s careful.’
‘Me too,’ said Joel, with feeling. ‘I went round to apologize for yesterday. You were right, I was out of order – and there he was in front of me. I could see I wasn’t wanted, so I thought I’d better scarper over here. Hope you don’t mind.’
‘No worries,’ said Kezzie. ‘I was just having breakfast. Coffee?’
‘That would be nice,’ said Joel.
He followed her into the small kitchen at the back of the house. It looked out onto a pretty garden with a patio, a small lawn and a greenhouse at the end. Though autumn was turning into winter, the pots were still overflowing with petunias, busy lizzies and pansies.
‘The garden looks great,’ he exclaimed, feeling really pleased that he’d got Kezzie involved in restoring Edward’s. ‘Your handiwork, I presume?’
‘Well, my aunt had the basics here. I’ve just had a go at making it a bit more homely. I’d take you out there, but these autumn mornings are a bit too chilly for sitting
out.’
Sam was tottering about in the kitchen, and picked up a bottle of beer.
‘Oops,’ said Kezzie. ‘My house isn’t very toddler proof, sorry.’
‘It doesn’t need to be,’ said Joel, scooping Sam up as his son made a bid for the door and the tantalizing but lethal-looking stairs. ‘Sorry, we’re not going to get much peace and quiet. Sam is a bit too much of a wrigglepot.’
As if to prove his point, Sam wriggled out of Joel’s arms and headed for the vegetable rack. He proceeded to cause chaos by throwing all Kezzie’s weekly veg on the floor. Joel picked him up and took him away and he started to howl loudly. Joel shrugged his shoulders helplessly. He felt that sometimes with toddlers it was just easier to stay at home.
‘I see what you mean,’ said Kezzie. ‘Why don’t we go out for a bit? I’d like to see the Memorial Gardens again. Eileen’s got me involved in their restoration too, and I need to have a look at them again before I get going.’
‘That sounds a great idea,’ said Joel, feeling hugely relieved. ‘I’m sorry, Sam can be a one toddler destruction machine in a small space.’
‘Don’t worry,’ said Kezzie. ‘I’m not used to being around small children, and I keep forgetting the cottage isn’t really geared up for kids.’
Joel went to his car to pick up the buggy, and they walked down the hill, chatting away about the garden and the difficulties of dealing with toddlers. It was a cold, clear day, and Heartsease, with its pretty little shops, redbrick buildings and lovely nooks and crannies, spread before them looking so attractive, Joel had a sudden shot of pleasure that he’d chosen to make this his home. When they got to the park, Joel got Sam out of his buggy and he went toddling down the paths, while Kezzie looked around at the scrubby flowers and tried to work out what would be best for the borders.
‘Dadda, Dadda,’ Sam was shouting and laughing with his arms outstretched towards Joel, who ran towards him and swung him up into his arms. His son. His gorgeous son. The best present Claire could have given him.
Summer Season Page 10
