“I’m sure I’ll be able to hear it through the window,” said Hilary. All the residents of Little Herring Cove knew well that Jasper’s concertina was neither quiet nor melodious.
The gargoyle squinted up at Hilary’s notebook. “Is that what’s got your hat feathers all ruffled?” he asked. “The Buccaneers’ Code?”
Hilary sighed and set down her pen. “Yes,” she said, “if you must know, that’s exactly what it is. I’m nearly out of time, and I don’t have any idea what to say. Every time I try to write down how a pirate should behave, I end up tearing the whole page out.”
Alice picked up one of the discarded notebook pages and smoothed it out. “‘A good pirate should never be overtaken by hiccups during a duel,’” she read aloud. “I suppose it’s not exactly bad advice.”
“It’s terrible,” Hilary told her. “I believe I still have a bit to learn about leading the VNHLP.”
“You’ll learn quickly enough once you’re holding the presidential cutlass,” said the gargoyle, “and you won’t earn that unless you get out of that hammock. Come on, Alice; help me get the Terror on her feet.”
For her size, Alice proved to be remarkably strong. She took hold of Hilary with her good arm and tugged her out into the garden as the gargoyle nipped at their heels. Hilary had fully intended to keep worrying about the Buccaneers’ Code, but Mr. Flintlock handed her a glass of lemonade, Jasper struck up a tune on the concertina, and she soon found herself caught up in the cheerful throng of pirates. They were feasting and singing and dueling, and Hilary was happy to see that none of them had been overtaken by hiccups.
Hilary made her way to the edge of the crowd, where Claire was using a magic coin to light a row of lanterns before the sun set. “It’s not too difficult once you get the hang of it,” she was saying to Charlie. “I tried using a larger magic piece at first, but three of the lanterns melted. Would you like to try lighting one?”
Claire held out the coin to Charlie, who touched its edge as though it might burn him. “I’d better not,” he said hastily. “Maybe I’ll try it tomorrow. Or Tuesday—I hear Tuesdays are very good for magic.”
“Tomorrow,” said Claire firmly. “Do I have your word as Scourge of the Northlands?”
Charlie stepped backward, nearly bumping into Hilary. “Sorry about that, Terror!” he said. “It’s just that I’m not the Scourge of the Northlands—not yet, anyway. There hasn’t been a Scourge since my pa died.”
“Then it’s high time we had one again,” Claire told him. “I saw you disarm seven Mutineers in a row last summer. Isn’t that something the Scourge of the Northlands would do?”
“I—well, I suppose so,” said Charlie, “but—”
“Besides,” said Claire, “it seems to me that the only real requirement for being a Scourge is saying that you are one.”
Charlie stared at her. “I hadn’t considered that.”
“I should consider it right away if I were you.” Claire tucked away her magic coin and turned to Hilary. “What have you been up to, Terror? Were you charting our course to Queensport? Or coming up with a new trick to play on the Mutineers?”
“The Terror doesn’t need tricks,” said Charlie. “She’ll defeat them fair and square. Isn’t that right?”
Hilary swallowed. “Of course,” she said quickly. “Fair and square. It’s all part of the plan.” Truthfully, Hilary’s plan didn’t extend much further than that, but she didn’t see any reason to alarm her mates.
“I wish I felt half as confident as you do,” Claire said, gathering up as many lanterns as she could carry. “I’m sure you’ll do splendidly, Hilary, but Miss Pimm just told me that the queen herself will have her eye on me. She wants to know if my magic’s as strong as Philomena’s. Miss Pimm tried to be cheerful about it, but she looked as panicked as a fish in a bucket.”
Hilary took one of Claire’s lanterns and hung it from a tree branch. “If the queen doubts you for an instant,” she said, “the Scourge of the Northlands and I will set her straight.”
“So will I,” said the gargoyle, hopping up to them. “We gargoyles can be very persuasive.”
Jasper had finally put the concertina out of its misery, and all the pirates clapped, probably out of relief. “Thank you all,” said Jasper, bowing more times than was strictly necessary. “Now, for my encore—”
From somewhere in Little Herring Cove, there came an enormous splash that sounded very much like a cannonball landing in the shallows. Mrs. Westfield and her High Society friends gasped, a dozen pirates drew their swords, and Mr. Partridge’s nephew Godfrey—the one who didn’t care for loud noises—leaped into the air and landed hard in the vegetable patch.
“Oh, drat!” someone cried from the water. “Help!”
By the time Hilary reached the shore, a group of schoolgirls and water-ballet performers had already swum out into the cove. Now they towed a shivering and sodden young man back through the waves and dragged him onto dry land. “He’s not dressed for swimming, Terror,” one of the water-ballet performers said, “and he’s not much good at it either. We think he might be a spy.”
“Then he mustn’t be a very smart one.” Hilary glared down at the young man. Salt water dripped from his tailcoat, his cravat, and his nose. “Nicholas Feathering,” she said, “you’ve got seaweed on your head.”
Nicholas spit out a mouthful of waves and brushed off as much of the seaweed as he could. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I swear I didn’t intend for any of this to happen. I asked my magic piece to transport me here, but I wasn’t strong enough to travel all the way to land, so it dumped me into the sea instead.”
The gargoyle gave him a dubious look. “You certainly arrived with a splash.”
“And he can leave with one too, for all I care!” Alice ran down to the water’s edge, waving her sword in front of her and leaving clusters of nervous pirates in her wake. “Are you going to slice off his ears, Terror? I’ll do it if you won’t.”
Alice’s sword was shaking in her hand, but she looked perfectly serious. “Wait a moment,” said Hilary, stepping between Alice and Nicholas. “Before anyone does anything rash, I’d like to know what’s going on. Alice, you’d better put down your sword; Miss Greyson looks ready to throw a fit.”
Alice scowled. “Fine,” she said at last, placing the sword on the ground. “Will you at least let me yell at him?”
“Someone certainly should,” said Charlie. “What in the blazes is that Mutineer doing here?”
“Spying on us, I assume,” said Hilary, “and lying, and telling his traitorous friends about everything we do.”
“You’ve got it wrong!” Nicholas scrambled to his feet. He looked wet and unfortunate, and he smelled even worse than he looked. “Why haven’t you replied to my letters?”
All two hundred of Hilary’s mates had gathered around them by now; some still clutched their glasses of lemonade. “Letters?” said Alice. “What’s he talking about?”
Mrs. Westfield stepped forward. “You mustn’t be too upset, young man. My daughter has many talents, but I’m afraid correspondence isn’t among them.”
Hilary ignored her mother. “I threw your letters into the fire,” she said, “and I’m glad I did. You swore you’d help me, and then you ran home to your beloved Mutineers and told them all about my plans.”
“I didn’t!” Nicholas brushed a drop of seawater from his nose. “I had no idea Captain Blacktooth was coming here, and I certainly didn’t know he’d threaten the gargoyle. It doesn’t seem like a very sporting thing to do.”
“There’s an awful lot Nicholas doesn’t know,” said Alice. “Perhaps that explains the strange whistling noise his head makes when the wind passes through it.”
Hilary studied Nicholas’s face. “Then how did Blacktooth find out I’d been recruiting schoolgirls to be pirates?”
“Oh, my dear,” said Mrs. Westfield, “everyone in High Society knows that! Mrs. Grimshaw’s daughter Nellie wrote home to say she was prepa
ring to become a pirate, and Mrs. Grimshaw told her dear friend Mrs. Larimer, and Mrs. Larimer is no good at all at keeping secrets. If she stumbles across an item of gossip over breakfast, she’ll spread it to every soul in the kingdom by teatime.”
“The Scuttlebutt ran a few articles about you as well,” said Nicholas. “I sent you a clipping in one of my letters.”
Hilary could feel her cheeks growing warm enough to burn a year’s worth of correspondence. Miss Greyson was always reminding her to keep up with the news of the day, and she supposed this was what came of ignoring Miss Greyson’s advice. “If that’s true,” she said, “then I shouldn’t have called you a black-hearted double-crosser after all. I’m sorry.”
“I’m not,” said Alice fiercely. “He’s still a Mutineer, and he still hasn’t explained why he magicked himself here in the first place.”
“I agree,” said Charlie. “He’d better have a good reason for dripping all over Jasper’s garden.”
Nicholas lifted his chin, looking as dignified as a High Society gentleman could under the circumstances. “I told the Terror I’d bring her information about Blacktooth’s plans, and I’ve done exactly that.” He nodded at Hilary. “In exchange for your protection, of course.”
Hilary looked around at her mates. “What do you say?” she asked them. “Do you think it’s a fair trade?”
“That,” said Jasper, “depends entirely on what he’s got to tell us.”
“I don’t mind helping Sir Nicholas,” Claire said after a few moments. “Anyone who’s betrothed to Philomena needs all the help he can scrape together.”
“Aye,” said Cannonball Jack. “If yer not givin’ up yer life, yer limb, or yer gunpowder, ’tis a better trade than most pirates are likely to get.”
Alice scuffed her boots in the dirt, sending a cloud of dust over the hem of her party dress. “I’m not sure I want to help him,” she said at last, “but if you think we should, Terror, I’ll do my best not to slice off his ears.”
Nicholas looked so pleased by this that Hilary worried he would try to embrace them all on the spot. “Very well,” she said before his sentiments had a chance to overwhelm him. “If you tell us what you’ve learned, we won’t toss you back into the sea.”
“Thank you,” said Nicholas. “I’ll begin at once.” He reached into the pocket of his coat and pulled out a folded sheet of paper so soggy that it threatened to dissolve entirely. “About two weeks ago, Captain Blacktooth and Admiral Westfield both sailed up to the Northlands to make plans with Mrs. Tilbury. Philomena and I weren’t allowed to join the meeting; we were supposed to take a stroll with that tiresome Oliver person.”
“You don’t like Oliver either?” the gargoyle asked. “Hmm. Maybe there’s more than wind between your ears after all.”
“I knew I wouldn’t get a chance to overhear Captain Blacktooth discussing his plans if I was on a forced march around the mansion. At first I thought I’d pretend to be ill, but Mrs. Tilbury simply wrapped a scarf around my neck and pushed me out the door. She said there was no better cure for a fever than a bracing gust of cold air.” Nicholas shivered a little just speaking about it. “Before I knew it, I was trapped outside with Oliver and Philomena. They’re both very fond of long, wintry walks—or at least they claim to be. Truthfully, I think Philomena is too frightened of her mother to disobey her.”
“I can’t believe Philomena is frightened of anything,” said Claire.
“Just be glad you’re not a Tilbury,” Nicholas told her. “I walked nearly two miles through Nordholm, trying to come up with a plan. The others still thought I was ill, so they didn’t seem to mind that I was lagging behind. I was just about to make a run for it when the postal courier hurried up behind us and gave me a letter—a furious one from Pirate Westfield, as a matter of fact.”
Hilary bit her lip. “I apologize for that.”
“Anyway,” said Nicholas, “I told Philomena that the letter was from Alice. I said she’d changed her mind about fighting the Mutineers, and she’d agreed to pass information about the Terror’s plans to us instead.”
“I’d rather eat slugs!” said Alice. “Why would you say such a thing? They couldn’t have believed you.”
Nicholas shrugged. “They seemed to,” he said. “I told them you’d sent me some news that I had to share with Captain Blacktooth immediately, and I ran back to the house as quickly as I could. The Mutineers were meeting in the drawing room, and I tried to listen at the door, but I couldn’t make out most of the words. I’m fairly sure Queen Adelaide was mentioned more than once, though.”
“Please tell me you heard more than that,” said Jasper, “or I’ll be tempted to throw my concertina at your head.”
“Sorry.” Nicholas gave the concertina a nervous sort of look. “The eavesdropping wasn’t going as well as I’d hoped, so I summoned my courage and went into the drawing room. Captain Blacktooth was saying something about a new ship he was building in Summerstead, but I’m afraid he stopped talking as soon as he noticed me. I don’t think anyone was terribly pleased to see me, and I still had to pretend I was delivering news from Alice.”
Hilary crossed her arms. “What did you tell them?”
“Well,” said Nicholas slowly, “I had to make something up, so I said that the Terror of the Southlands had ordered some fancy long-range cannons from the next kingdom over.” He hesitated. “And Captain Blacktooth decided to order some fancy long-range cannons himself in response.”
“Of course he did.” Hilary sighed. “Now he’ll be even more difficult to defeat.”
“Mr. Feathering may have good intentions,” Miss Pimm said from the crowd, “but he’s the worst spy I’ve ever met.”
“But I haven’t told you about my triumph!” said Nicholas. He held up the soggy square of folded paper; it didn’t look much like a triumph to Hilary. “While Blacktooth was talking about the cannons he wanted to order, I got a look at the plans for the ship he’s having built. I don’t understand it myself, but I know he thinks it’s his secret weapon—the thing that’s going to ensure his victory in battle. I memorized as much as I could and drew up a copy of the plans as soon as I’d left the room.” Nicholas grinned and unfolded the paper, which was already tearing at the creases. “This,” he said, laying the sketch on the grass, “is Captain Blacktooth’s secret weapon.”
Charlie fetched a lantern, and everyone gathered around to study the paper.
“Is it a fearsome galleon?” asked Twigget from the back of the crowd. “Has it got masts as tall as a thousand men, and a gun deck as vast as the southern sea?”
The gargoyle hopped over to Hilary’s side and examined the drawing. “It doesn’t look all that fearsome,” he reported. “It only has one cannon, and—well, what do you know? Blacktooth’s put a Gargoyle’s Nest on the front.”
“That’s odd.” Hilary looked from the ship’s plans to Jasper and back again. “I may be mistaken, but . . .”
“You’re not,” said Jasper. “Are you sure this is the design you saw, Mr. Feathering?”
“Entirely sure. Is something the matter?”
“Not exactly,” said Hilary. “I don’t understand why this ship is Blacktooth’s secret weapon, though.” She looked around at her mates. “This ship is the Pigeon.”
* * *
KINGDOM OF AUGUSTA
OFFICE OF THE ROYAL RECORDS KEEPER
FORM 118M: INTENTION TO SET SAIL
INSTRUCTIONS: Please write legibly in ink. Forms completed in blood will be rejected upon receipt.
All questions are mandatory.
NAME OF CAPTAIN: Hilary Westfield, Terror of the Southlands
NAME OF VESSEL: The Pigeon
TYPE OF VESSEL: Pirate ship (small)
HOME PORT: Wimbly-on-the-Marsh, The Southlands
DESTINATION: Queensport, The Southlands
GENERAL PURPOSE OF VOYAGE
(please check one):
BUSINESS PLEASURE PIRACY
If PIRACY is checked,
the Kingdom of Augusta reserves the right to send the Royal Navy to attack your vessel if necessary. Do you accept these terms?
As I expect to be attacked by an entire army of pirates, I’m sure it won’t be necessary for the Royal Navy to attack me as well.
NUMBER OF CREW MEMBERS: There are two hundred pirates in our fleet.
NAMES OF CREW MEMBERS (please list):
Various freelance pirates, schoolgirls, governesses, gargoyles, Enchantresses, tradespeople, water-ballet performers, reformed villains, High Society ladies, parrots, and mothers—far too many to list here.
PRIMARY OBJECTIVE OF VOYAGE: To defeat Captain Blacktooth in battle and win the presidency of the Very Nearly Honorable League of Pirates
NUMBER OF FLOTATION DEVICES ON BOARD:
Fewer than I’d like
NUMBER OF WEAPONS ON BOARD:
Fewer than we’ll need
If you PERISH AT SEA, would you like a MEMORIAL PLAQUE installed in your honor at the Royal Palace?
YES NO
If it’s not too much trouble, however, my gargoyle would like someone to dedicate an ornamental fountain in his memory.
Thank you for complying with the rules and regulations of the Kingdom of Augusta, and enjoy your voyage!
* * *
* * *
From
The Illustrated Queensport Gazette
YOUR GATEWAY TO THE CIVILIZED WORLD!
PIRATES AND ONLOOKERS
GATHER FOR THRILLING BATTLE
QUEENSPORT, AUGUSTA—With only one day remaining until the High Seas confrontation between Captain Rupert Blacktooth and Pirate Hilary Westfield, swashbucklers and spectators alike are making their way toward Queensport Harbor. Taverns and groggeries are stuffed to the seams with pirates from across the kingdom, and guesthouses are filled with holidaymakers, many of whom have traveled for days to witness the battle.
“I came all the way from Otterpool to cheer for the Terror of the Southlands,” said farmer Peter Scattergood. “She and her mates gave me a magic piece of my own last summer, and I’m grateful for it.” Though the queen has vowed to remain neutral during the battle, it is rumored that she hopes the Terror will emerge with the victory. Others, however, will be rooting for the Terror’s opponent to win the contest. “I wouldn’t want to say a word against Captain Blacktooth,” said Cecil Theodore, manager of the Ornery Clam boardinghouse. “All of my guests support him, and their swords are frightfully convincing.”
The Buccaneers' Code Page 16
