by C. S. Moore
“What the…Where did he go?” Bill asked. He lowered the gun to his side staring at the now empty space that its target had occupied.
“He’s with Mae now. And in answer to your question, I am Amanda. I am here to help you.” She said simply.
“Help me?” He spat. “No one can help me.” He crossed the distance between them in shaky strides. “And if you could, I wouldn’t want your help. Do you know what I did?” He cried his voice increasingly high. “Do you? You may have stopped me right now, but I remember what I did.” He sat down on the ground and put his head in his hands.
“I killed that poor boy. I shot him right between the eyes. Right here in front of his father and my poor dead Mae. I murdered him. I tried to kill myself too, but they took the gun from me before I could.” He looked up at her then with rage pouring from him. “And you want to help me? Listen, I see that you are sincere, but this is where I should be. It is Hell and I belong here.”
“No you don’t. You dedicated your life to medicine, to helping others. This was an awful mistake and if you had a clear head you never would have done it.” She said comfortingly.
“No I would have, I have relived this scene more times than I can account for. I have told myself over and over again not to do it, but every time he brings me Mae…” He let out a ragged breath. “Just leave me, whatever you are, just leave me.” Amanda shook her head.
“I wont, I am not going anywhere.” She said firmly. He turned on her then and let out a shriek that sounded part human, part animal.
“I said LEAVE ME!”
“Sorry there Bill, I have seen things a lot more terrifying than you.” She said poking him in the chest with her forefinger. She could tell from the look on his face that he was shocked and it was the most human that she had seen him yet. “I’m not going anywhere and we are the only ones here, so let’s make conversation. Tell me about your daughter.”
“I will not.” Bill said savagely.
“If you don’t want to talk, you don’t have to. I see all of the things that you have ever seen anyway.” She said. Holding up her hand she projected an image of a dancing girl with ribbons in her hair. Amanda watched it and was amazed; she had never seen a more beautiful child. It played out in front of them like an old film that had collected a little dust over the years. Bill watched in awe as his little daughter danced and laughed.
“Daddy!” She said in a musical voice.
“Take it away! Take it away.” Bill roared. He closed his eyes tightly and when he opened them the projected memory was gone. “Why did you show me that? Why would you, when I can never see her again. Never hear her laughter…” He broke off as he began to sob uncontrollably. She walked over and sat down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder, his body shook underneath her palm.
“You can see her again.” She said comfortingly. “You know that you can. Most spirits don’t know that they are reliving the past over and over, but you did. You are a smart guy Bill. If you thought that this was Hell, than you must believe in Heaven. You aren’t in Hell, just so you know.” He stopped shaking.
“I’m not?” He asked in disbelief. “Surely I have to be, I know that I…” He broke off. “What does it matter where I am? I will never see my daughter, and I don’t want to.” Amanda was speechless for a moment then regained her stride.
“What do you mean? I know your heart and I know your mind. Your daughter is everything to you.” She said.
“Of course she is, and always will be. I just don’t deserve to be where she is, and even if I was pardoned of this crime…I couldn’t face her. Not after what I did, I killed Johnny. She loved him so. She would be so ashamed of me, she would hate me.” He said with sadness in his voice.
“I haven’t ever been to heaven, but I think it is a pretty good bet to say that hate isn’t really the thing up there.” She said reassuringly.
“No. I couldn’t do it.” He said with finality. Amanda held her hand up once more and replayed Mae’s childhood.
“Daddy!” The girl exclaimed.
“If not for you, do it for her. She misses you. I am sure that it has brought her pain to watch you all of these years, never able to comfort her Daddy.” Amanda let her words hang in the air, unsure of what to do if this route failed her. She waited for what seemed like forever before hanging her head.
What now? She asked herself.
Just as she opened her mouth to speak, she tasted the sweetness in the air around her and smiled. She looked up at Bill and couldn’t believe her eyes. He looked nothing like the monster that stumbled out of the hospital, his hair was dark and shining and she saw where Mae had gotten her stunning smile.
“Daddy’s coming baby girl.” Was all he said before he vanished in an explosion of bright lights.
Good for you Bill, good for you. She thought just before the familiar tug pulled her back.
Chapter 14
Nell slowly pushed the door of her room open just a crack. It was hard to see anything in the dark hallway, but after her eyes adjusted she could see that it was empty. She closed the door quietly in disappointment.
What am I doing? She wondered. I don’t even know Armaan. And on top of being a stranger, he is a member of that horrible Guard. She had stayed up all night trying to make a decision. Stay here in the Hovel, full of sadistic strangers. Or, leave with a stranger that could be a good person.
He helped me and he seemed so kind. But his light was so dim he has the same darkness that the other Guard members have hanging around them. So what do I do? She asked herself in exasperation.
She had been running that question over and over in her mind. In the silence of her room the tick-tock of her clock invaded her ears like the drums of an approaching army. She glanced at it quickly.
Three minutes to midnight. She thought. Just three minutes to make up my mind.
She looked at the room that had been her home for four years. It was barren now, all of her possessions in a small bag slumped on the bed. She wondered if she could say goodbye, the Hovel had been like an answer to prayer. Many of the Healers here didn’t have much like for her, because she was different and because she loved Amanda like a sister. When she had first arrived, she was thought to be a prodigy. Not many ten year olds enter Scars on a regular basis, let alone heal them. Everyone wanted to know how she did it, how she healed every Scar that she entered. But soon after her arrival Amanda ran away and she and Amanda had both shared the gift of early leaping. So ‘prodigy’ turned into ‘untrustworthy’.
Two minutes to midnight. The back of her mind told her.
She never let their whispered words bother her. And she never did answer their many questions, though she knew why she was so good. Many of the Scars held spirits that were suffering things that she had already suffered. It was easy to relate and heal when you truly understood what they were going through. She loved being a Healer; it gave her a purpose and allowed her to see that she wasn’t the only person that had a tough life.
One minute to midnight. The drumming of the clock continued. She hurried to her bed and snatched up her bag. As she walked to the door she realized that she had been running through these questions for no reason.
I was always going to leave. With that thought she ducked her head out of the door.
The hallway seemed even darker once she had left the safety of her room. She squinted down the corridor, but saw nothing. Worse than that, she felt nothing. The place was completely deserted.
It’s so strange for the Hovel to feel this empty. Even at midnight there is usually a few people coming and going. She thought.
She could hear the very faint sounds of a place inhabited, quiet foot steps, whispered words, and the heavy breathings of sleep. More familiar than those were the creaking and groaning noises made by the large old factory. Though they may have felt haunting to some people, they didn’t frighten her at all. She had always been comforted by these sounds. After all, they were the noises of home. Realizing that she
didn’t know when she would hear the hushed sighing of her old home again, she listened closer. The white noise calmed her nerves; she had been beginning to worry about the time.
It has to be midnight by now. She thought. She strained her ears, trying to hear. All of the noises seemed to be growing more and more quiet. What the heck. She thought as all sound faded away. There was nothing to hear now, nothing but thick silence. She raised a hand to her ear and slapped at it. Nothing.
Am I deaf? She wondered full of fear. She opened her mouth to whisper something, anything to reassure herself that there was nothing wrong.
“Hello.” She said, but she didn’t hear it. She could feel the word leave her lips, but it never reached her ears. She stumbled back to her door frightened, not hearing her footsteps or the loud ‘bang’ that she must have made as she slammed into her door gripping for the handle.
Get back inside! She told herself. Just as her fingers touched the cool metal of the knob, a hand wrapped around her arm. Her scream was automatic and very powerful. She felt a little dizzy by the time all of the air was out of her lungs. But even that, she couldn’t hear. She whipped herself around to face her assailant and wasn’t all that surprised to see the angelic face of Armaan looking at her. Although he looked very surprised by her, his face was full of concern.
“What’s wrong?” He mouthed. She felt like slapping him, for looking so concerned and deafening her at the same time. She knew it had to be something that he was doing, so she pulled her arm out of his grasp and began a pretty spectacular verbal assault. After a few seconds he smiled and put a hand to his ear, indicating that he couldn’t hear a word she was saying.
He can’t hear either? She thought, taken back. They stood in the empty hall awkwardly before he fetched a notepad from his pocket. He scribbled on it so quickly that she doubted she would be able to read the chicken scratch, but when he handed it to her it was perfectly legible.
Hey Nell! Sorry I didn’t give you a heads up; we had a lot of ears listening to us at the time. I put a silent spell around us, so that no one could hear us leave. I know it feels a little weird like pudding in your ears or something, just trust me. It is easier to make a daring escape when you don’t have to worry about noise.
Nell was surprised at how much she could hear his voice in the note. She turned her eyes away from the paper and looked up at him. He was giving her two thumbs up and what was supposed to be a reassuring smile, but she thought that it just looked super cheesy. She shrugged her shoulders and grabbed a pen out of her pocket. It felt like she took much more time writing her note than he did his, though it was much shorter.
So, where are we going?
After a few scribbles he handed her back the pad and looked around cautiously. He wants to get moving. She thought, seeing the worry in his eyes as they darted around.
We have a few more to pick up, and then we are out. But we need to leave right now if you want to come, and I really hope that you do. I don’t think it’s safe for you here Nell. Everyone knows how close you are to Amanda. It’s your choice, but make it. Others are waiting.
Others are waiting. Who? She wondered. This is no time for indecision. She thought. She handed him back the pad and nodded her head. Much to her delight a smile stretched across his face. He’s happy that I am going. She thought not understanding why this fact gave her such joy, but it did.
She followed closely behind him until they reached the first fork. He held up a hand and she stopped behind him. He looked to his right and moved back quickly. He turned to face her and mouthed one word.
“Guards.” She sucked in a breath and was surprised at how frightened she was by them. He shook his head and then looked again. He turned to her and quickly spun her in his arms to the other side of the hallway. For a moment it felt like they were dancing, but the hammering of her heart reminded her that they were in danger. She turned around as he continued down the hallway, but no one was giving chase.
Armaan stealthily guided them through passages that the Guard seemed to have abandoned. He paused in some areas glancing at his watch, sometimes stopping for five or ten minutes. Nell wasn’t sure what he was waiting for, but she knew that he had guided them through areas that the Guard should have been watching. Within an hour and a half well over a dozen people had joined the two of them. She had been a little embarrassed that none of the other Healers were screaming in fear at the loss of their hearing.
Maybe he gave THEM a heads up. She thought trying to comfort herself. It’s still eerie to be traveling with this many people and not hear a sound…even though I know that no sound means safety. She thought.
She glanced at the faces in the group around her. There was young and old, male and female. I wonder why he chose these people. I don’t recognize half of them and none of them have a link to Amanda. She remembered his scribbled words. “I don’t think that it is safe for you here. Everyone knows how close you are to Amanda.”
She shrugged her shoulders. They must just want out of here, maybe not because they are individually targeted, maybe just because their home is turning into a prison. She was pulled out of her thoughts as she collided with the person in front of her. The group had stopped without her noticing; luckily the person she banged into just gave her a reassuring smile. They were gathered around Armaan, who was scribbling on his notepad while looking at his watch. He held up the note for all to see, and after some wiggling Nell could read the words.
Okay, we have everyone that is coming with us. Our next stop is out of here. We don’t have much time left so please try to hurry. And remember, there is nothing to fear we will be safe soon. Stay together.
When Armaan was sure that everyone had read it, he took one last look at his watch and opened his mouth. Nell was sure that if she was able to hear the words coming from him they would have contained four letters. He turned around and drove quickly down the hallway. He didn’t move so fast that they couldn’t keep up, though she was certain that he could have. His body lurched forward with incredible athleticism. He even had doors pried open before the group could pause.
It was at a door that he finally halted. She stared up at the towering thing. Its twisted metal had strange patterns hammered into it; they looked so familiar to her. After a moment she realized that they were nothing more than an intricately scrawled mathematical symbol, the sign for infinity. She met eyes with Armaan who had a hand on the latch. As the door opened a fraction her mind was assaulted with questions.
How can he open such a heavy door? Why is this door so big? Why would it need to be? Where have I seen that symbol? And her final question she had answered before it fully materialized. What’s on the other side…The Ancients. He led us to the Ancients! She brought up her memory of the Ancients and studied their odd skin. Scattered across them like duplicate birthmarks was the strange infinity sign. She backed up a step as the doors flew open.
The room behind the doors was huge, squinting upward; she could barely make out the domed ceiling. It must be six stories above my head. She thought. From the cavern-like walls hung fine drapery from around the world. Encompassing the room in a half circle stood 6 gigantic wooden chairs. The chair’s legs were thick roots, and growing out of them were the most intricately carved scenes that she had ever seen. Plants and animals, Healers and spirits. All were depicted in perfect beauty.
Being in awe of the rooms grandeur, it took her a moment for her terrified mind to process the fact that the chairs stood empty.
They aren’t here. The Ancients are not here. He did not lead us to them. She drew in the breath that she had been holding, before she noticed the room’s sole occupant. He was an older man, but it was hard for her to guess his age-as it was with most healers. He was tall and the width of his shoulders suggested that he was also quite muscular. She overlooked his dazzling smile, her eyes locking on the glimmering badge on his coat.
Oh God it is a member of the Guard, not just a member, a captain. She thought. She found Armaan’s
face in the crowd and it was smiling, smiling! He isn’t surprised to see him, he looks happy. He must have known that he would be here. I shouldn’t have trusted him. She thought full of anger.
Armaan moved forward quickly, but paused when no one was following. He turned around slowly to face the crowd.
“What are you all waiting for? Come on, let’s get going.” They stood in shock for a moment having heard what he said.
He’s dropped the silence spell. She thought. He waved them on. Still no one moved to step through the door way.
“Who is that?” An older woman asked bluntly.
“Come on, no time to waste. If you don’t want to come please turn and leave now. We can not have you in the hall, in front of that door for any amount of time.” He stood tall and authoritative, but his eyes were locked on hers pleading.
Nell wished that she had more time to decide, and she wished that she didn’t trust Armaan so much. But she had no time and she did trust him, so she took a step forward. The Healers began to flow in behind her as she crossed the room and stood next to Armaan.
“Thanks.” He said to her quietly. “Now everyone move to the center of the room.” He gestured at his fellow Guard member. “The Ancients have a portal set up here at all times. We will be taking it out of here.” She saw a bright speck of light shining like a little star suspended above a table next to the Guard Captain. Armaan glanced at his watch again and she couldn’t help but wonder if it was some kind of tic. “And we need to hurry.”
Now that the spell was dropped she could hear the institute and the roaring laughter of Guard members. That sounds so close. She thought and doubled her pace. As the last Healer stepped into the center of the room Armaan grabbed a hold of her hand and they were whipped through space.
