by C. S. Moore
What if he doesn’t want to? She wondered. Why did I have to ask that? Things used to be so easy with Cole. I never had to wonder what I should or shouldn’t do or say. Now I never know what is right.
She was tired all over and her body begged for rest, but she couldn’t stop tossing and turning with worries about Madgie, Kayden, and her new found love life. One of these worries was calmed as Cole snuggled up next to her.
“Madgie drank almost the entire canteen, so stop worrying and get to sleep.” He whispered into her hair. She didn’t need anymore coercing; the steady rising and falling of his thick chest had her sent off to sleep in seconds.
Chapter 18
It was a beautiful day in Shanghi, but Nell couldn’t bring herself to enjoy it. She had strategically perched herself on a large grey rock that overlooked the border of New Hovel. The Healer’s city was nestled in the middle of Century Park. She smiled at the people walking by the border, wondering how they didn’t notice the twenty acres Shiphra had hidden from them. Everyone here thought that it was funny to go unseen in one of the most populated cities in the world. But Nell just thought it was sad that they didn’t get to enjoy New Hovel.
Century Park was long ago modeled after it; both had beautiful streams and ponds, spectacular topiary hedges clipped into all different shapes. But as beautiful as Century Park was, it had nothing on New Hovel. She had never seen anything like its green hills or cobblestone pathways. Even the sunlight seemed more concentrated, reflecting onto the water in golden pools so rich she couldn’t stop herself from jumping into the water the first time she walked by the pond.
It felt right, it felt like home, unlike the place she was brought to as a child that was could and dark. She had grown to love it, but not like New Hovel. This place made her forget the old Hovel, the only home she ever had. Unfortunately, even the beauty of this place couldn’t make her forget how much she missed Armaan.
He had kept her company the first day she arrived at New Hovel, but had gone off on some important mission. She tried to make other friends and there were plenty to be had, the children were especially friendly. She was shocked and amazed the first time she saw a small child run by, but New Hovel had them running everywhere. At her old home there were no children younger than ten. The kids followed her like a shadow through most of the day, but Armaan was just such a fun person to have around. She had never felt someone’s absence like she felt his, which confused her. She loved Amanda’s company, and Madgie’s too, but she never wallowed in their absence. So many things were changing for her, and not just location.
She never had a thought about her appearance, and now she couldn’t stop fretting about how she looked. The morning after she got to New Hovel she had sat in front of the mirror in her small bright bedroom for at least an hour scrutinizing her hair. Which, for the first time, she noticed was quite unmanageable. Then when she was finally happy with the way a side swept braid looked, she finds out Armaan wasn’t even around to see the trouble she had gone through.
He had been gone for two days now and she was frustrated at herself for keeping an eye on the clock, and frustrated at the clock for not ticking by the minutes faster. She was going crazy wondering where he was, when he’d get back, and if he was okay.
Nell stood up suddenly and scanned the horizon. A cool breeze sent her long hair into a dance. She didn’t find what she was looking for so she jumped off of the rock, stealing just one more backward glance. She ran down the grassy slope until she came to one of the cobblestone pathways that led to the city. One foot after the other she tried to out run her thoughts.
I wish Amanda was here, so I knew she was safe, and so I could talk to her. Why am I obsessing over some guy I just met when there is so much going on? I don’t even feel like myself. She thought.
She picked up her pace and hurdled the low rock wall that surrounded a deep cool pond. Running hadn’t helped her escape her thoughts so she leaped into the pond, breaking its peaceful gold surface. She hoped that the water would wash away her uncharacteristic thoughts.
Chapter 19
Grey cloaked figures surrounded the small hill that the dead tree was perched on. Amanda pressed herself against the white trunk, attempting to use its cover to get some relief from the downpour. The twisted leafless branches did little to shelter her already soaking body. She was cradling a small shaking child. Putting a hand to her face she wiped away the water cascading over her eyes and looked at the child. Kaedin looked up at her, clutching her arm desperately.
“Help me Amanda. I am right here, don’t leave me again!” The small quivering voice begged.
A face materialized in the wall of grey, a face she hated. She couldn’t believe the physical need she felt to watch him die, not only to watch him die but to be the one to end his life. Baal’s distorted face wore an impish grin, as if he could read her thoughts.
Only an Ancient can kill you. She thought. His deformed head nodded and his smile stretched wider, revealing row upon row of sharp yellow teeth. A shiver rippled through her body as remembered words played in her mind ‘Baal loves the sight of blood’.
“You share my enjoyment Amanda; you have blood on your hands as well. You can try to hide it but I see the spot there, out damned spot!” He quoted Shakespeare as Carter’s walking corpse appeared at his side.
“Murderer!” He screamed. An explosion of sound ripped open the silence as a bright flash of light split the dead tree down the middle, tearing Kaedin from her arms.
Amanda jerked awake, knocking heads with Cole in the process. Her heart was hammering in her chest and she sat up cursing her mind for giving her such dreams.
Was it not painful enough to leave her once? She thought bitterly, hoping that she had gotten enough rest to function. She didn’t want to attempt to sleep again; the dreams were too real to brush off. She could still feel the chill on her skin where Kaedin’s cold hand had grasped her, and pulling up her sleeve she saw the red outline of a little hand.
Sleep is over rated anyway. She told herself, though she wasn’t sure that Cole would agree. He sat up as soon as she had, heavy eyes full of confused concern.
“Are you okay?” He asked through a yawn. His eyelids looked like they weighed ten pounds each and she guessed that she had been right in assuming that he wouldn’t sleep as long as Armaan was around.
“Yeah, just another bad dream.” She said rubbing the fading red skin on her arm. “They seem so real.” Cole straightened himself fully upright and pulled her closer to him.
“Don’t worry, when all of this is over, the dreams will stop. I used to have terrible dreams but eventually they died down. Minds tend to work out all of the fears that we try to suppress once we close our eyes, playing out the most painful cinereous…” Cole’s eyes fogged over for only a second. “So the more terrible your nightmares, the more active your mind. So, we must both be geniuses!” He said giving her a squeeze. A muffled thud rang out as Armaan plopped himself on the end of the couch.
“Ouch! Couldn’t Shiphra have made better furniture?” He moaned rubbing his back. “So what was this dream about? If it was a naughty dream about me don’t say anything, just raise your eyebrows so Cole doesn’t suspect.” He paused and smiled. “Do you see how high those eyebrows are Cole, must have been a good one.”
“Shut up would you? My eyebrows are this high because I am shocked at the person Shiphra has sent to help me. Is it possible that she can dislike me this much, she hasn’t even met me yet?” She said, wishing she could let Cole work out some of his bottled up anger on Armaan’s pretty face.
“You wanted him here.” Cole said rubbing her arm soothingly.
“Okay, you. It is time that you make me glad I kept you around, when do we leave and where are we going?” She asked trying to keep her voice even.
“Well I am hoping that you have deduced from all of the bamboo that we are on the Asian continent, to be more specific we are in eastern China.” He paused and Cole interrupted.
<
br /> “She didn’t ask where we are, she asked where we are going.” He huffed impatiently.
“I think that the two questions are closely related, if you don’t know where you are, how will you know where you are going?” Armaan asked no one unparticular.
“Ever the philosopher Armaan. Come on tell us what is going on here, we need to get Madgie to a real bed.” Cole said as if he were reasoning with a child.
“Okay, Okay. We are headed to Pudong, that’s a section of Shangai. New Hovel is there, hidden in Century Park. If we can hitch a ride, we could be there in a few hours.” He promised.
Amanda didn’t know what to say, too many thoughts were rattling through her mind. We are that close? How could you hide a city of Healers in a park in one of the most populated cities in the world? What is Shiphra like?
“When do you think we should get moving?” Cole asked Armaan standing up and stretching out.
“Well, we’ll want to make it to the roads as the morning commuters start into the city. Almost no one in China owned a car ten years ago, lucky for us that’s changed.” Armaan responded. Cole walked over to Madgie and studied her closely.
“Who is going to pull over and give us a ride? We are foreigners carrying an unconscious woman.” Cole asked thoughtfully.
“Oh people around here are super polite and we will just look like tourist hikers that got lost and injured. I’m sure we won’t have a problem. And if we run into one you can smack em’ with a confusion orb. You were always good at those.” Armaan said with a smile.
“I have never been good at those; you just accused me of hitting you with one every time you were confused. I’m not talented, you’re just stupid.” Cole said with a slight smile dancing at the corner of his mouth. Amanda was pleasantly surprised by how much tension had faded since last night. Cole wasn’t completely at ease, but she could feel that his doubts which had been so concrete yesterday seemed a little unsure.
“I know it was you Cole, you didn’t want me to be better looking than you and smarter. I understand. I would have done the same thing in your shoes.” He laughed.
After they had eaten a terrible breakfast of bitter mushrooms and berries Cole and Armaan went outside to scout the best way to the roads. Cole didn’t seem to mind being alone with Armaan himself, but he wasn’t ready to trust him alone with her. She had a sneaking feeling that Armaan was going to have a shadow everywhere he went until they reached New Hovel, but he seemed to enjoy Cole’s company too much to be annoyed.
After she gathered their belongings she made herself comfortable next to Madgie.
She looks better than she did last night. She thought noticing that color had returned to her cheeks. But she still won’t wake up! She knew that Madgie’s body just needed to rest and recover, but it was hard to be patient when Madgie seemed to know what was going on with her.
She was about to tell me why I have this mark on my hand, and why I have fluffy over there following me around. Her wolf’s head turned sideways in confusion from where he lay across the room. Not sure about fluffy, huh? She asked. He shrugged his shoulders and laid his head back down, a gesture so human it made her smile.
If Madgie knows what is happening to me then this can’t just be a one time occurrence. Someone else out there has to be walking around with this mark and an invisible furry friend, how else would she know what was happening with me? Maybe this isn’t any more abnormal then the rest of the Healer world. There is so much that I don’t know about my own kind. She thought, hating herself again for abandoning her studies for two precious years.
Although I did start a rebel movement against the Ancients. She thought, grateful that Armaan had given her that bit of self justification.
There wasn’t much to do in a cave with an unconscious woman. She tried meditating, but was too agitated. Jumping to her feet she started pacing around the room. She had thought that they would be headed for New Hovel already and the waiting had her antsy. Walking was too slow and she really wanted to get rid of some of her excess energy, it was making her twitchy. So she started running steady laps around the place to keep herself from going crazy.
“Trying to make the varsity track team this year?” A voice asked from behind her. She leapt into the air, almost tripping herself, and turned to face the voice. Cole and Armaan stood at the entrance of the cave with curious smiles on their faces.
“No, she isn’t the sporty type. She just has A.D.H.D.” Cole replied coolly. “I think ten minutes alone in here is worse than prison to Amanda. Do you know why the caged bird sings now?” He asked her sarcastically.
“No, but I know why fifty percent of marriages end in divorce.” She huffed too glad that they would be leaving to be embarrassed.
“Wow! You two move fast, married and divorced before you even tell me that you’re a couple?” Armaan teased.
“Oh shut up already, can we leave now?” She asked in a rush. Armaan looked at Cole who shrugged his shoulders.
“See what I mean, A.D.H.D.” Cole said making Armaan laugh and her last nerve break.
“Impatient is not the same as having A.D.H.D. And I am serious, our situation is serious, we need to leave!” Armaan stopped laughing and Cole looked apologetic. “What’s with you two being chummy all of the sudden anyway?” She asked, half wishing that Cole was still giving Armaan the cold shoulder.
“He just explained some things to me last night, I didn’t want to trust him, but what he says makes sense. I don’t know I guess I…I believe him.” He said, then turning to Armaan he continued. “Of course I will be watching you and won’t really trust you until you deliver Amanda to Shiphra safely, but until then…” Cole pointed to his eyes and then at Armaan.
“Well I am used to having people’s eyes on me so I will barley notice.” Armaan said through a fake yawn.
“Okay, I just want to know when we are leaving. Can one of you just give me that small bit of information?” She asked rubbing her temples.
Why is it that when you get two men together they act half their age? The math just doesn’t seem right. She thought feeling sorry for Mothers that had more than one son.
“We can leave whenever you’re ready.” Cole said. “Armaan, can you check on Madgie real quick?” Armaan crossed the room and Cole spoke in a whisper.
“I know that you are in a hurry to get to New Hovel and I understand that. But we can try to keep our moods light when we have the chance. It makes things easier between me and Armaan, most of the time. When he and I are joking I can pretend he is the same person that I knew, although he has changed. Right now, in this cave, no one can get to us. When we step out of these walls it isn’t going to be that way, we aren’t exactly safe out there. Don’t think that I don’t take this seriously; your safety is everything to me. There isn’t anything that I take more seriously.” Cole whispered making her feel guilty.
“I know that, I’m sorry if I made you feel like I didn’t. It’s just that I want to get to New Hovel, I want to make sure that Madgie gets the care she needs, I want to see Nell so that I know she is safe, I want to meet Shiphra so she can tell me what’s happening to me, and I want to find Kayden before it’s too late.”
“I guess I didn’t think of how stressed out you must be feeling, I’ve been so worried about keeping you safe. I haven’t thought to…talk, curse of the gender you know. And based on that small tirade, you’ve been needing to talk.” He said with a smile.
She hadn’t thought about how much she really did need to talk to someone. She was so used to repressing her thoughts and feelings, as they usually just got her into trouble back at the Hovel. She wondered if things would be different at the New Hovel, or if it would be the same old thing with a different label.
“You can talk to me about anything, you know that right?” He asked.
“Of course, you have always been the person that I talked to. I guess I am still in the habit of keeping my thoughts to myself.”
“I know what you mean; there is
something that I have been keeping to myself for a long time. I’m sure that you already know, but I have wanted to tell you for as long as I can remember…” He stopped talking and rubbed the back of his neck. He averted his eyes and a blush kissed his cheek.
He’s nervous? Cole is never nervous. She thought but was only clueless for a moment before his emotions overwhelmed her.
“I, I lo…”
“Can we leave now?” Armaan’s impatient voice asked from across the room.
“Yeah sure.” Cole said jumping up. “I’ll carry Madgie so that you can lead the way.”
Cole hurried off towards Madgie awkwardly and Amanda was left sitting next to an invisible wolf wishing that he had finished his sentence, and wishing that there was a club handy to beat Armaan with. When she first realized what he was about to say she was nervous. Not knowing what she would say back and not sure of how it would change their relationship. If there was one thing she learned as a Healer it was how badly I love you could end. But now that it had gone unsaid she was full of hollow disappointment.
Stupid Armaan! She thought, glad she never had a little brother. Could you nip his ankle for me, you know just a little? She asked scratching the Animal between the ears. She wasn’t sure, but she thought that he seemed pleased by the idea.
By the time she exited the cave, Cole and Armaan were at the edge of the clearing heads bent together talking in hushed voices. She didn’t understand why the discretion was necessary until she was a foot away from them. Beyond the clearing was deathly quiet not even the rustling sound of the wind moving through branches that she had grown so accustomed to hearing the past few days. Not a single woodland creature seemed to be on the move today, but other more sinister creatures were.
She looked up as soon as she felt their presence and noticed that Cole’s big arms cradling Madgie were shaking.
“You did this.” Cole whispered. “You lead them to us?”
