by Merry Jones
He was absolutely crazy. And I was quaking with the cold. I wanted to run inside, to sip hot peppermint tea and take a bath in jasmine-scented bubbles. I had to hurry and get ready for dinner with Detective Stiles. But how could I leave poor Charlie out in the car?
“Charlie. You can’t stay out in this weather. Go inside. Nobody’s going to bother you.”
“Miss, I told you I’d watch over you. There’s danger coming your way. Soon, any day now. I’m warning you, there will be terrible consequences. We may be being watched, even now.”
I was shivering so much that I had trouble hearing. My face was raw and my toes were frozen. Charlie turned away, staring into the street. His face glowed red, then green, reflecting the lights of Phillip Woods’s blinking Santa.
“... I know what’s really going on. It’s about revenge. Revenge and immortality. But it doesn’t matter why he does it, see, because it’s evil, pure and simple. Evil butchery.”
He must have heard the news about the finger. He was rambling, tying together loose random thoughts, reminding me of my Institute patients. Maybe Charlie belonged there. A car drove slowly by. Charlie ducked. “See, people think I’m just a handyman. They think I’m old and slow. Well, I’m old, but not so slow. And I can tell he’s used my tools. Downstairs. Takes my lock-boxes. My tables. The space under the floor, below. He comes and goes, moves my things. And now that he listens to my thoughts— he’ll find out that I know. He’ll find out everything. Not only that I’m onto him but that I’m standing against him. That I’m warning you. I’m protecting you. He’ll come after me now, for sure.”
Charlie stopped for a long, scraping cough. He’d lost it completely, gone over the edge. He was raving. Delusional. He needed help. I wondered if I could get someone to see him at the Institute. Of course, by law, if he wanted treatment there, he’d have to admit himself. But beyond his mental state, Charlie was physically ill. His face glowed, damp with sweat. Red, green. Red. Green.
“You’re sick, Charlie. You must have a fever. Please go in and have something hot. I can get you to a hospital—”
“No, miss. No hospitals. I’m staying right here where I need to be. But if I disappear, you’ll know what’s happened. See, he probes my mind. I feel him in my head like a hot wire. It’s his telepathy. In the day, I can fend him off, see. But when I sleep, I can’t be vigilant. So nights, see, I stay out here, where there’s engines and sirens and radio interference, and he can’t probe.”
“Charlie,” I shivered, “go inside. I’ll bring you some hot tea or coffee. Or how about some cocoa?”
“No, miss. You go inside. Don’t worry. I’m still protecting you and the child. Because otherwise, see, you’d end up in the paper. Or on the posters and milk cartons. ‘Missing.’ They’re not missing. See, they’ve been taken. He takes them. I know. He works there, inside. He takes what he wants and leaves the rest. The coroners and judges, the police—they know, but they won’t say. They don’t dare. He has them under his control, holds their minds. Reads their thoughts, too. It’s part of his plan. Returning the children to the hands of the original Mother, the Virgin—”
His words were lost in another fit of coughing so violent that he bent over, holding his abdomen.
Ice had caked my eyelashes. My jaw was numb now, not just my feet and fingers, and my cheeks burned from the cold. Wind ripped through my coat, slashing my skin.
“Charlie. You might have pneumonia. You have to call your doctor. Or tell me the number and I’ll call.”
I reached for the car door to open it and help him out.
“No!” he shouted. His eyes moved rapidly from side to side, searching the street. “Don’t touch the car. Just go into your house, miss. Go in and pretend you don’t see me.”
He coughed into a rumpled handkerchief.
I was frustrated. “Listen, Charlie. If you want me to go inside, then you have to go, too. I’m not going unless you do.” It was a bluff, but what else could I do? I couldn’t let him freeze.
He thought for a moment. “Okay, miss. I think I can. For a little while, at least until he tunes in to my head again.”
“Will you call a doctor?”
“A doctor? No, ma’am. No doctor—” A hacking cough stopped him.
“Charlie, you need a doctor. You’re sick.”
“No, miss! A doctor could be in disguise. Might make me sick.” His eyes beamed feverishly.
“What if I knew the doctor? What if I took you to a friend—”
“No doctors, miss. I told you.” He was vehement.
I bit my lip. “Let’s go, Charlie.”
“You go first.”
“I’m not leaving until I see you get out of this car.”
“Okay, okay. But don’t you worry, miss. I’m on the job. Just watch the little girl.” He looked around, suddenly alarmed. “Where is she?”
“She’s visiting a friend, Charlie. She’s fine. Now, come on out.”
Slowly, bent and stiff, Charlie climbed out of the car. I took his arm, and together we shuffled across the ice to the steps of his house. His stooped body was sturdier than I’d expected, and he supported me as much as I did him. At the top of the steps, he wheezed, “Remember, Miss Zoe. People aren’t who they seem. They can disguise themselves and fool you. Don’t trust anyone.”
I backed away. “Charlie, are you going to drink something hot now?”
“I’ll have some soup, miss.”
“If you’re not better by tomorrow, either you call your doctor or I will.”
He nodded and waved, then went inside. I watched his door close, then, assuring myself that he’d be better by morning, I slid back to my house, fumbled with my key, and finally made it safely inside. I stood at the door for a moment thawing out, savoring the glorious warmth of my cozy home. Then, still shivering, fingers and toes swollen and burning from the frost, I put up the kettle and turned on the TV. The StairMaster beckoned from the corner, offering to warm me with exercise while I watched the news; I threw my coat over it. The news was just starting. Rubbing my frozen hands together, I waited to hear the latest about the missing nannies, but the smiling anchorwoman talked about the ice storm. For the first time all week, something had preempted the story of the vanished women.
Taking out a teabag, worrying about Charlie, I looked out the kitchen window at the empty Pontiac. The lights came on in Charlie’s living room. Poor Charlie was sick, and he sounded raving mad. But at least he wouldn’t freeze to death. Not tonight.
SIXTEEN
THE WIND HAD DIED DOWN, BUT THE WALK TO THE RESTAURANT was lined with ice and shadows. Why was I walking alone at night? Why hadn’t I accepted the offer of a ride in a nice heated police car? I told myself that I was fine, that this was my turf, that I would not allow somebody to terrorize me so much that I wouldn’t walk a few short blocks. But the night seemed darker than usual. And Charlie had alarmed me. I stepped over glassy patches of ice, telling myself to stay calm. Between streetlights, I anticipated cold hands grabbing my shoulders and shadowy figures lurking just outside my gaze. I looked behind me, listened for the crunch of footsteps other than my own. By the time the lights of the restaurant came into view, despite the slippery sidewalk, I’d almost broken into a run.
A steep flight of stairs separated the street entrance from the dimly lit cavern that was Ristorante La Buca. I stood at the bottom of the steps, looking through the doorway to the restaurant, exhaling, collecting myself. Detective Stiles sat alone at the bar, sipping a drink. He was tall and lean, striking in a dark suit. A man waiting for someone.
Christmas lights blinked soft reds and greens along holly-draped walls; tiers of bottles glowed amber and silver, and pyramids of glasses stood like an altar to an alcoholic god.
Something—the chilled air? my gaze?—drew his attention. He swiveled toward me on his stool, rose, and stepped forward to greet me; one arm took my hand, the other circled around to my coat collar. He smiled a lopsided greeting, emanating warmth and a
musky scent. Aftershave, or maybe tired cologne. A man at the end of a day.
“Have you been waiting long?” My question hung awkwardly unanswered as he guided me inside and handed my coat to the hostess.
“Not long,” he finally said, “But I was worried about you. In fact, I called to see if you’d changed your mind about a ride, but you’d already left. I guess you made it here okay.”
“It wasn’t easy. Walking took longer than I expected, with all the ice.”
He turned to assess me, still wearing his half smile. Oh dear. Maybe I should have worn the gray sweater instead. Or the cowlneck. Maybe the black was too dramatic, especially with the thigh-high slit in my skirt. The bones in my cheeks itched. “You look lovely, Ms. Hayes.”
I looked lovely? “Thank you,” I blushed. My face felt as red as the Christmas lights. The maitre d’ appeared with Stiles’s half-finished Manhattan. “Your table is ready, sir.”
He led the way. As we walked through the restaurant, Detective Stiles held my arm. My elbow tingled. I told it to settle down. This was a police detective, not a prom date. We were here to work. The maitre d’ seated me and handed us menus.
“One of these for the lady, please.”
“Yes, sir.”
I looked up, surprised. What made him think that I’d have a cocktail? Let alone what he was drinking, whatever it was. A Manhattan? But he greeted my eyes with a sheepish half smile.
“Is a Manhattan all right? If you don’t want it, I’ll have it. Order what you want.”
I shrugged. Red wine was what I would have chosen, but I didn’t want to make an issue out of it.
“A Manhattan’s fine.” I’d never had one, didn’t even know what was in it.
He leaned forward, resting on his elbows. I was still on edge from my walk, still getting oriented. Relax, I told myself. Make small talk and get acquainted. “Do you always wear black?” he asked.
“What?” I thought I’d heard him wrong. He couldn’t be talking about my clothes.
“Both times I’ve seen you, you’ve been in black.”
I bit my lip. He remembered what I’d worn? Even I didn’t remember what I’d worn. Well, I shouldn’t be surprised; he was a cop. An observer of details. “It’s comfortable. Hides the flaws.”
“Come on, Ms. Hayes. You don’t have to worry about flaws. You’re a stunning woman.”
Stunning again? Twice in one day? First Susan, now Stiles. But wait; I shouldn’t be so easily flattered. Maybe this was a test. Cops did that, tested people, said stuff to see how you’d react. Was he watching? Assessing my character? I hid behind the menu, avoiding his eyes. The waiter’s hands appeared, placing a Manhattan in front of me. I cleared my throat and waited for the hands to leave, ready to steer the conversation to more comfortable ground.
“Detective Stiles—”
“Call me Nick.”
Nick?
“Then call me Zoe.”
It’s okay, I told myself. There’s nothing wrong with first names between consenting adults.
Half his mouth grinned, pleased. My eyes darted away.
“Look, it was nice of you to ask me to dinner—”
“I’m glad you were able to join me. I usually grab a burger or a slice of pizza on the run. Alone. I’m still new around here, and my place is all the way out in Chester County. It’s beautiful, but isolated. So I don’t have much social life. Or much time for one, the way we’re working.”
He did look tired. Maybe even lonely. “Well, I appreciate your invitation. I don’t go out to dinner much, either.” I hadn’t planned to say that. “I mean, because of my little girl.” Or that.
“How old is she?”
“Almost six.”
“Six. First grade?”
“Kindergarten.”
He nodded. “You must be a great mom.”
Lord, I hated small talk. “She makes it easy; she’s a great kid.”
He tilted his head thoughtfully, pausing. Thank God, he was changing the subject. “So,” he began, “have you thought about what we discussed?”
I hesitated; he continued before I could answer.
“I understand if you’re worried about repercussions. Hey, I work in a bureaucracy, too; I know all about in-house politics. But don’t worry about that. Beverly and I have discussed your involvement.”
Dr. Gardener was “Beverly” now?
“She admires you quite a bit.”
“Really?” I hadn’t been aware that Beverly Gardener even knew who I was.
“Oh yes. She praised your work, said you were bright and talented. She went on about you at some length.”
I was uncomfortable, didn’t know what to say. I’d never exchanged as much as “Good morning” with the woman. When we’d passed at the Institute, she’d been intent on her own thoughts, never even made eye contact. How was it that she’d been able to go on about me at length?
“Beverly agrees that your input might prove valuable. So don’t worry about bureaucracy. You won’t be overstepping.” Overstepping? What was he talking about? Politics? Professional protocol? Would it be a problem for an Institute art therapist to help police unofficially on a case in which a hotshot Institute psychiatrist/profiler was officially consulting? Actually, I’d never considered the repercussions of that. I wasn’t sure I’d care about them, even if I had.
I swallowed some Manhattan. It wasn’t a bad drink, once you got past the initial sweetness. The cherry in my glass peered back at me like a bloodshot eyeball. Detective Stiles sat silently in the maddening manner of a detective waiting for a suspect to spill his guts. Finally, I began.
“Actually, Detective—”
“Nick,” he corrected.
“Nick. I’m not concerned about what Dr. Gardener or anyone at the Institute thinks about what I do. I make my own choices.”
“Good. Still, it’s better not to step on bureaucratic toes. Trust me.”
Trust him? Was he crazy? With those eyes? They looked at me but took in everything, the whole room, even the part behind his back. How could anyone trust a man with eyes like that? Or that crooked half smirk that somehow made him look both tough and vulnerable at the same time? I sipped my drink, unable to recall what I’d started to say—what was it again?
Nick continued. “Look, all I ask is that you review the profile Beverly’s created. She’s very insightful; I think you’ll be impressed. And her thoughts might stimulate yours. Just see what it brings to mind.”
I nodded. My lips had begun to ache, an effect of the cocktail. It was stronger than I’d expected. I shouldn’t be drinking while working, even unofficially. I bit on them to stop the throbbing.
“Are you nervous?”
“No. Why?”
“You’re biting your lip.”
“So?”
“So, it’s normal to be nervous. Getting involved in something like this can be tough. Even scary.”
I looked up. Was I ‘getting involved’? Had he intended a double meaning? Or was he still testing my reactions? Or was I drinking too much? “I’m not nervous. Actually, I can’t wait to read the profile.”
His half smile appeared again.
“So, when can you talk to Beverly?” He watched me, waiting for my response.
Talk to Beverly? “I didn’t realize I had to—”
“Well, it would be best if she went over it with you personally. Filled you in. And you should dialogue. You’re colleagues, after all.”
Beverly Gardener was hardly a colleague. She was a phenomenon. A presence, a supposed genius endowed with perfect legs and startling green eyes. “Any time. First thing Monday morning?”
And with that, we were done with business. Not even past cocktails, and done. I searched for casual conversation unrelated to the missing women, but the cocktail was having an effect. My mind drifted, distracted by Stiles’s shoulders, his thick neck. I began comparing his Adam’s apple to the cherry in my drink, which was magically full again. I frowned, searching for
a topic.
“Well,” I began. Good start. Keep going. “How do you like living in Philadel—” “You look upset.” “I do?”
“What’s on your mind?”
His bare chest, to be honest. Stop it, I scolded myself. There’s more at stake here than your starving libido. I thought of Tamara and felt ashamed of myself. “What’s on anyone’s mind, these days? The nannies. Everyone’s upset.”
He uncrossed his legs and straightened his back. “Of course.”
“One of the missing girls,” I went on. “I know her.”
He sighed. “A disappearance can be tougher to deal with than a death.”
I pictured Tamara’s shining eyes, recalled her musical laughter. I took another sip, felt the liquor slide, sear my throat.
“But—damn, there’s no easy way to say this. Zoe, you need to be prepared for the worst, here. Chances are slim to nothing that your missing friend—or any of those women—is still alive.”
Tamara’s eyes lost their shine; her laughter choked to a stop. I felt the stab of my teeth jabbing my lip.
Stiles leaned forward, his voice almost a whisper. “If it’s any consolation, I think we’ll solve this one. Soon.”
“Why do you say that?”
His eyes darkened. “Because he wants us to solve it.” He took a drink. “Sonofabitch might not know it, but he wants us to.” “He wants to be caught?”
“I think so. At least, part of him does. He’s getting bolder. More brazen. Leaving evidence. Daring us to find him.” He paused. “Do you think that finger was left on your walk by accident?”
“What?” I gripped my glass, needing something to hold on to. What was he saying? That the finger had been dropped in front of my house on purpose? “You mean it wasn’t?”
“Let me ask you.” He leaned forward so his face was close, his voice low. “You’re a therapist. You know Freud’s theory that there is no such thing as an accident.”
