by Sharon Lee
Her agony caught him by the throat, even shielded as he was. The next moment he had cast protection aside, spinning a line of comfort, of love . . . .
He was met by terror-desire-longing-grief-shame-love—a whipping windstorm of emotion, punishing in its intensity. He gasped, fingers clawing into the mattress as he scrambled for the line he had spun for her—he gripped it, following it back into himself by painful jerks, and finally called up the Wall.
It slammed into place with a force that drew a soft moan from Priscilla, though she did not lift her head.
"My dear friend . . . ." Slowly he unclenched his hands. "Priscilla, please look at me."
She was silent, motionless but for the constant shivering.
"Priscilla?"
"I'd rather—talk—to you. Please, Shan . . . They're going to—to kill me. I—can you stay with me? Please . . . Until they come . . ." She drew a shuddering breath. "You keep—going away . . . ."
He forced his brain to work, to consider that last. "Have I been here before, Priscilla?"
"I think—yes. I was talking to you—trying to tell you . . . I tried to—to reach athetilu, but you were closed and I tried to—to hold you and you went away and I thought I'd made you angry . . . ." She moved a fraction, tightening her arms about her waist. "Cama se mathra te ezo mi . . . ."
Sintian. He was losing her, crippled as he was, not daring to step beyond the Wall. Shaking, he extended a hand and stroked the bedraggled curls.
"Priscilla, please look at me. I grant I'm hardly a feast for the eyes, but it would spare my feelings."
She gave no sign that she had heard him. Then, slowly, almost clumsily, she unbent and sat straight, her right arm cradled in her left, her eyes bottomless ebony pits in a filthy, exhausted face.
He smiled and dropped his hand from her hair to her knee. "Thank you. Now, since I seem prone to this fading in and out—your hand, please, Priscilla."
It took a moment for her to manage the movement, but she held a quavering left hand out to him.
"Good." He tugged the master's ring from his finger and slid it onto her thumb, where it perched precariously. "If you find I've gone away again, notice that you have my ring. I'll come back for that, at least, won't I?"
She considered it. "Yes."
He sighed, holding her hand lightly. "What a brute I am! It's a wonder I'm allowed your friendship at all, Priscilla; I marvel at you. What's wrong with your arm?"
"I burned it."
"Throwing fireballs?"
She jerked. His fingers tightened on hers, and she relaxed, licking her lips. "Yes. I'm not—accustomed—to throwing fireballs."
"I'd think not. Are you well enough to walk?"
"Yes."
"Good." He stood. "Let's go."
She stared up at him, her hand moving in his. "Go where?"
"To the Passage. You're hurt and sick and tired, and I'm tired and Mr. dea'Gauss is tired and even Gordy's tired." He grinned. "The port master's tired, too, but she doesn't come with us."
She tried to pull her hand away. He did not allow it.
"I can't."
He frowned. "Can't?"
"Shan . . . ." Tears welled out of her eyes and spilled over, making streaks down her face. "Shan, I killed Dagmar."
"Yes, I know." Bending to take her other hand, he found her face close, so that he might lay his cheek against her—Priscilla, I love you . . . . He fought the emotion and found the control to address her gently. "I'm sorry, Priscilla. It should never have come to that. You should never have had the need. Forgive me, I've taken poor care of you."
"You said—"
"I said 'no murderers,' may my tongue be damned! But self-defense isn't murder—nor is protecting the life of a friend." He took a breath, cooling the sharpest of the pain. "Please, Priscilla—for the friendship we have between us—allow me to take you to the Passage. You need care, healing—a sheltered place to sleep. When you are able, I will personally escort you anywhere you choose to go. Let me aid you."
There was confusion in her face and in her eyes. She was silent.
He raised a hand to touch the platinum hoop in her right ear and stroke the curls above it. "Please, Priscilla."
"The trial . . . ."
"Has been performed. Gordy testified. The port master sat as judge. You are acquitted of murder. No one is going to come and take you away to die. Only Shan is come, to take you home."
"Home." Her hands clutched his, then relaxed. She looked into his face, her expression unreadable through the grime. "Please, Shan, take me home."
"Yes, Priscilla."
She staggered when she stood, clutching his arm for support. "Are you well enough to walk, my friend? Or shall I ask the port master to provide a chair?"
"No." She straightened, face set.
"Very well." He slid his arm around her waist, turning her toward the door. "Mr. dea'Gauss," he predicted with a merriness he did not feel, "will be appalled."
If Mr. dea'Gauss was appalled, he hid it well. The bow he performed was profound. "Lady Mendoza."
She inclined her head, which was all that dizziness and Shan's arm about her waist allowed. "Mr. dea'Gauss. I'm pleased to see you."
"You are kind." He glanced at Shan. "The physician has given Master Arbuthnot a drug he feels may counteract the worst of the side effects, or at very least allow him to sleep through them. He has also provided a printout of the structure of both drugs."
"Well enough," Shan said calmly, as if it were no surprise that Gordy should be lying so white and quiet upon the bench.
"I don't—" She shifted, half intending to go to the boy. The arm tightened about her fractionally, and she turned to look into silver eyes. "He was all right! They were going to send him to the Passage."
"But he would not go without you," a new voice explained. "Afterward it became necessary that he be given the drug, that his testimony might be heard."
Priscilla blinked, clearing her vision. The tall, handsome woman in glittering evening dress smiled formally and bowed. "Ms.—Lady—Mendoza. I am Elyana Rominkoff, port master in the regent's service. Allow me to present my apologies: this should not have befallen you in the city under my care. When you are rested—at your convenience!—please contact me, that we may sit together and discuss fair recompense."
"Yes, of course," Priscilla mumbled, unable properly to attend to what the woman said to her. She was sinking into an indigo blur where the only realities were Shan's arm about her and the warm strength of his body steadying hers. Abruptly she pushed at the creeping indigo and reached out, tapping that near source of energy.
Strength flowed unstintingly from him to her, clear and bracing. She straightened as the room came back into focus and inclined her head to the woman before her. "Port Master, forgive me. I am—unwell—at the moment. I will call you, and we will talk."
"That is well, then." The woman shifted her gaze beyond Priscilla, smiling with warmth rather than mere formality. "Captain yos'Galan, remember what I have said. I am entirely at your disposal in this matter. My eyes and ears are yours to command at any hour." She bowed then and moved back, cutting off his reply with a wave of her hand. "At this hour, you have folk to care for. My car awaits you. If you allow, the precinct officer will carry the boy. Lady Mendoza, Mr. dea'Gauss holds your license and your papers."
"Thank you," Shan said gently. "You're all kindness, ma'am."
The walk to the car was blessedly short. Priscilla settled into the seat, Shan's arm still about her waist, his strength buoying her. She curled her fingers around her thumb, gripping his ring tightly. Then she reached within and turned off the tap.
The last thing she remembered was resting her head upon his shoulder.
Shipyear 65
Tripday 181
Third Shift
14.00 Hours
He poured unsteadily, brandy splashing the bar top and, incidentally, the cup. Gritting his teeth, he managed to fill the thing halfway and set the decanter dece
ntly back into the rack.
Priscilla was in sick bay, under Lina's capable eye, and Gordy was there too. Both were asleep and abed—which was where he should be, working through the exercise that would grant his pounding head relief and rest. Brandy was not the best cure for an empath in his condition.
He sipped, frowning in momentary puzzlement at the stain on his cuff. Blood.
Yes, of course. Must remember to send the port master a set of crystal. Stupid Shan. Doesn't know his own strength.
Sav Rid Olanek. Gods, to have his hands about Sav Rid Olanek's slim throat . . . .
And then? He jeered at himself, drinking again. The flaming ice of Korval rage stirred behind the barriers he had built about it. And then he would pay balance with his life! Shall he threaten lady, foster-son, ship?
Priscilla. That punishing outage of self-hate, terror, and confusion. A trace effect of the drug? Or something more permanent? Lina would know.
He stopped himself on the way to the comm. Lina would know, sooner or later. And when she knew, so would Shan yos'Galan. He would do nothing now but distract her from an essential task.
"Go to bed. Shan," he told himself.
But he tarried, sipping his drink, staring sightlessly at the tapestry above the bar.
When the annunciator chimed, he jumped.
"Come!" he called.
Mr. dea'Gauss entered, papers rustling in hand, face full of import. It was indicative of his weariness or the value of his news that he broke at once into speech, neglecting even his bow.
"Your Lordship, I have received the report of Ms. Veltrad, whom you sent to Sintia on the matter of Lady Mendoza. It is—"
"No!"
Mr. dea'Gauss blinked. "I beg your lordship's pardon?"
"I said," Shan explained, voice thin with strain, "no. No, I do not wish to hear Ximena's report. No, I do not wish to hear the name of the crime Priscilla is supposed to have committed. No, I do not wish to find the report on my screen next on-shift. No, I do not want Ximena to call or visit so that she may tell me in her own voice what she has reported. No."
Mr. dea'Gauss took stock. Shan stood near the center of the room, holding a quarter-full glass in his bandaged hand, the blood-stained ruff falling gracefully about taut knuckles. The stark brown face might have been hewn from strellwood, and there was a slightly mad look around the silver eyes.
"The report from Sintia," he began again, "indicates that—"
"No!" Shan was across the room in a blur, was towering over Mr. dea'Gauss, his face set in cold fury, the syllables of the High Tongue crackling. "I do not hear you! Go."
Mr. dea'Gauss gave no ground. He had seen this before—from Er Thom yos'Galan. The proper answer had never included giving ground.
He drew himself up and took a firmer grip on his papers. "Will you hear it from me? Or from your First Speaker? It is a matter of ship's debt. The captain's attention is required."
For perhaps a heartbeat Shan was utterly still. He turned, went to his desk and sat, placing the glass precisely aside.
"yos'Galan hears," he said in the High Tongue, Thodelm-to- Hireling.
Mr. dea'Gauss walked forward. He was not waved carelessly to a chair. Shan's face was expressionless, waiting. Mr. dea'Gauss bowed.
"Thodelm, it becomes my knowledge through the words of Ximena Veltrad, who was offered coin in return for verified truth, that Priscilla Delacroix y Mendoza was ostracized from her world for the crime called 'blasphemy' ten Standard Years gone by. The details of this crime are covered most fully by Ms. Veltrad's report. I wished only to assure you at this present that Sintia's melant'i suffers greatly by the reported incident. Lady Mendoza's actions were, as always, above reproach."
"And yet someone reproached her. Strongly." The High Tongue exuded no warmth. "You will explain this paradox."
"Yes, Thodelm. I am not conversant with the depth of the situation reported by Ms. Veltrad. My understanding is that Lady Mendoza, as an apprentice in Circle House—what is called there a 'Maiden' or novice priestess—called recriminations upon herself for an act of heroism. I confess that I do not understand why the saving of three lives should have caused these recriminations. Ms. Veltrad's report indicates doctrinal, rather than rational, causes. In any wise, Lady Mendoza was called before the masters of the craft and offered a chance to disown her act and be properly chastised. Lady Mendoza refused to recant. She was then stripped of her goods and her title, and banned from the craft. In order to keep face, her House cast her forth as well." Mr. dea'Gauss paused, considering the icy eyes. "Politics, Thodelm. Not Balance."
"So." Shan drank the rest of the brandy slowly, then replaced the glass. "yos'Galan has heard. You will leave the report with me. Have you anything else that I must hear at this present?"
"No, Thodelm."
"Good. You are dismissed."
Korval's man of business bowed, then turned away.
"Mr. dea'Gauss."
He turned back. "Thodelm?"
Shan smiled wearily, his bandaged hand resting on Ximena's report. "Sleep well, sir. And thank you."
Mr. dea'Gauss felt absurd relief as his lips bent in reply. "Sleep well, your lordship. You are quite welcome."
Shipyear 65
Tripday 181
Third Shift
16.00 Hours
Shan lifted his head, groping after the sound. Surely . . . Ah. The door chime.
"Come."
The door parted, and she entered, slight and small, her face Liaden gold. "Old friend."
"Lina." Memory returned with a force that shuddered pain through his misused head, and he was half out of the chair. "Priscilla—"
"Resting. And well." Her small hands flickered, soothing. He sank back as she came around the desk. "More—she is herself. We spoke. She is rational; she knows what has transpired; she knows that necessity existed and that she acted as best she might." Lina sighed. "Much of the confusion you reported must be counted an effect of the drug—and of despair. Life has taught her to expect neither rescue from trouble nor surcease from pain. Healing had gone far, but that lesson is not easy to unlearn."
Shan had closed his eyes. Now he opened them, and Lina felt shock at the depth of weariness there. "She'll be all right," he murmured, his beautiful voice blurred and uneven. "Thank you, Lina, for coming to tell me. This is your rest shift, isn't it?"
"And yours, as well," she said briskly. "Priscilla sent me to make sure you slept. You were angry, she said, and hurt."
He rubbed his forehead absently. "Stupid. Trying to scan the whole planet . . . ." He tapped a sheaf of papers. "Had to read Ximena's report. Mr. dea'Gauss . . . An act of heroism. She'll have to stop that, Lina. Get herself hurt. Saves three lives, using some sort of thing she wasn't taught yet. But she said the old soul—give 'em old souls, the Initiates, with the old names attached. Priscilla's soul was named Moonhawk. Very powerful lady. Much respected. Said the old soul had done it, for the glory of the Goddess and—and . . . who knows? Long and short, she gets thrown out. All very well and good to have a tame dramliza on your hands, but when she starts demanding her due, that's dangerous."
Lina frowned, noting the empty glass by his hand. "Is Priscilla a wizard, Shan?"
"Very good chance. Should see her—no, I hope you don't see her. Does things above and beyond us mere Healers. Got a definite flair . . . ." He rubbed at his face again. "Gods, gods, she's strong."
She leaned forward and stroked the warm, thick hair. "Shan. Come to bed."
He blinked at her. "Bed?"
"You are tired. You must rest, let yourself heal. How much brandy have you had?"
"Half a beakful," he muttered, and then grinned. "But it's quite a beak, eh?"
She laughed, between frustration and relief. "Come to bed, denubia." She grabbed the unbandaged hand and tugged. "Shan, have pity! I have promised my cha'leket to see you resting. Would you have me turn my face from her need?"
"Cha'leket?"
"Priscilla herself named me sister
. I find my heart agrees. Will you come to bed?"
"Since you ask so nicely. Not likely to do you much good though, my precious." He wobbled to his feet but would not lean his weight upon her. Unsteadily, he laid his hand against the inner door.
She coaxed him to lie flat, unsealed the tight dress shirt, then sat stroking his hair and murmuring, weaving a net of warm comfort and loading it with the desire to sleep deeply and long.
After a time his eyes closed, his breathing lengthened.
Lina continued her weaving and stroking until she sensed that he had reached the first depths, where prime healing begins. She slid from the bed and spread the coverlet gently over him, dimmed the lights, and disarmed the alarm. Kayzin had agreed that the captain's rest should not be interrupted untimely.
Affairs ordered to her satisfaction, Lina bent and stroked his cheek. "Sleep well, old friend." And then she was gone.
Crown City Theopholis
Judge's Hour
The cab pulled to the edge of the pedstrip and stopped. The driver looked over his shoulder and said something in a barbaric garble. Sav Rid stared at him coldly.
"The vehicle can go no farther," the driver announced in abrupt Trade. "Pedestrian traffic only inside the port. The fare's fivebit."
Sav Rid extended the proper coin silently and exited the cab. Behind him the driver spat between his teeth and muttered, "Louse!" But the action was beneath Sav Rid's notice, the single word in Terran.
He walked cautiously through the crowded port, intensely aware of his lack of guard. Dagmar Collier had not been at the rendezvous point this morning. He wondered what might have happened to the creature, then put the thought away with an impatient shrug. Who, after all, really cared? If Dagmar Collier chose to jump ship before the run was through, that was certainly its own affair. Daxflan would make good use of the unclaimed wages.
A man was coming purposefully toward him down the pedstrip: older with more gray than black in his thinning hair. Sav Rid froze.
His Delm continued briskly forward, then stopped at the proper distance and inclined his head. "Kinsman. I give you good day."
