“Hey,” I said to Grace, who was now clearing flowers from Luke’s float. “Thank you… for… earlier.”
“Charlie’s a stubborn ole mule,” she said, shaking her head. “I wasn’t about to let him lay a hand on Lucas.”
She looked at me for a moment and then straightened up. “About what happened at the diner—”
“I’m sorry, Grace,” I said. “I should’ve walked away, but I let my anger get the best of me. I hope you can forgive me—”
“No need for apologies, Julie,” she said. “This fight isn’t between us, sweetheart. It’s between Lucas and his father. No one blames you for what happened back there.”
“Thank you,” I said, nodding. “You have no idea how much it was weighing on my conscience—”
“How’re your shoulders?” she asked, brushing my hair aside. “Did he hurt you?”
“I’m okay,” I said, trying to pull away. But she took a firm hold on me—just like she’d done to Charlie when he went after Luke—and pulled the neckline of my sweater back to look at my arms. I took a deep breath, because I knew what she would find. When Lonnie grabbed me, he hadn’t done so gently. The bruises on my shoulders were proof enough.
“My God,” she whispered, running her fingers across the fading bruises. “Honey, why didn’t you tell me?”
“Grace,” I said, lowering my head. “He snapped because of me. It was my fault—”
“But he hurt you—”
“Who hurt you?” Luke asked, stepping up on the float and gently pushing Grace away. He pulled the back of my shirt away to see what Grace had discovered, and then looked back to me—fire burning in his eyes.
“Charlie?” he asked, bending to meet my stare, but I kept from looking at him. “Julie!”
“Let it go, Luke. It doesn’t matter,” I said. “What’s done is done—”
“Did Charlie do this to you?” he asked, ignoring me.
“No,” I said, knowing as well as he should that Charlie would never lay a finger on me. “It wasn’t Charlie.”
“Derek?” He stopped for a moment and took a deep breath. “Is that why he left? I’ll kill that sonofa—”
“Calm down, Lucas,” Grace said, putting her hand on his back.
“I’m not going to calm down until she tells me what happened,” he said, looking down at me. His face was growing redder by the second. “Julie?”
“This is why I didn’t tell you, Luke,” I said. “I knew you would overreact.”
“Overreact?” he yelled. “Someone hurt you. That’s not okay.” Luke was chivalrous, yes. Even now… all he wanted was justice. But then the anger in his eyes melted away, and that rage was replaced with sorrow. “Why… why do you trust Grace and not me?”
“I didn’t tell Grace,” I said, looking at my feet. “I didn’t tell anyone. I never planned to. The only reason she knows is because she was there when it happened.”
And I didn’t have to say another word. The realization hit him in a nanosecond. Another wave of anger swept across his face as he whipped around to look at his step-mother.
“I’ll kill him,” he said, less to her and more to himself. “I’ll kill the bastard.”
He turned away and jumped off the float without another word, no doubt on an unstoppable mission to find his father.
Grace and I shared a look of mutual worry, but there was nothing we could do.
Luke was gone.
Chapter Six
Sunday December 23
“Sorry, Julie,” Grace said, flipping the sign hanging on the door of her small floral shop to close for the day. “I haven’t seen him since yesterday, sweetheart.”
“It just doesn’t make sense,” I said, rubbing my temples to relieve my migraine. Ever since Luke stormed away, leaving me and Grace alone on the float, no one had seen or spoken to him. I called Detective Bruno this morning to see if Luke had come into the station, but he wasn’t scheduled to come in. Ever since the shooting, Luke’s hours have been hit and miss.
“Julie,” she said, glancing out the window at the heavy snow. She turned back to me. “Go home. It’s late. It’s dark. Wherever he is, I’m sure he’s fine—”
“But—”
“Julie,” she said again, her voice growing testy. “It’s almost Christmas. Don’t you think your family wants you home right now… instead of on a wild goose chase?”
I stood in the middle of the floral shop and shook my head. Christmas or not, I didn’t care. I wanted to find Luke… or at least know that he was okay.
“Something must be wrong,” I said, ignoring her. “Luke wouldn’t just take off and not come back.”
“Sure he would,” Lonnie said, stepping out from behind the curtain that separated the storefront from the back office.
“Stop,” I said, pointing at him. “You’re the last person I want to hear attitude from right now—”
“I’m just saying,” Lonnie said, now leaning against the counter.
“Where does he live?” I asked Grace, ignoring her husband.
“Couldn’t tell you if we wanted to,” Lonnie said. “We don’t stay in touch, remember?”
“148 Main,” Grace said, avoiding Lonnie’s stare. “It’s a two-story apartment in the historic district. Right down from Dot’s Antique Shop.”
Not sticking around to hear how Lonnie and Grace’s conversation would unfold from there, I ducked out into the snow and headed for Main. Three blocks later, my toes were frozen. My nose felt like it could break off, and I’d lost the feeling in my fingers somewhere back on York Street.
I reached Luke’s complex and rang the bell.
Nothing.
I knocked—pounded, actually—but still, no sign of him. There were no lights on inside the building. And suddenly, an eerie feeling settled in the pit of my stomach.
It all felt too familiar.
What if he left?
What if all the pressure was too much? He’d been depressed for so long about not getting back to his normal work schedule, and now that he’s back, Charlie is treating him like dirt. And then there’s all the familial pressure he’s under with Lonnie. And then… there’s me….
What if… when he added it all up… it was just too much?
Did he make like Derek and leave Oakland for good?
“Luke!” I screamed, now banging on the door. “Please Luke!”
The crunch of footsteps in the snow rounded the corner and I stopped, praying it was Luke as he returned home. But it wasn’t.
“Miss Julie,” Detective Bruno said, rounding the corner. “Still nothing?”
“Where is he?” I asked, tears welling up in my eyes. “Why isn’t he answering?”
Bruno wrapped me in his warm arms and let me cry against his chest. Before long, he pulled away, draped his arm across my shoulders, and walked me down the street to his car.
“Come on,” he said.
He didn’t say where we were going, but I knew. He was taking me home.
Five minutes later, I was sitting on the first step inside the house, listening as Detective Bruno told Charlie he’d found me wandering through the historic district, cold and frazzled—and looking for Luke.
“Thanks for bringing her home,” Charlie said, waving as Bruno let himself out.
When the door was shut, Charlie turned to me and sighed.
“What do I have to do to get through to you, Julie?” he asked, grabbing at the roots of his hair. “Stop—chasing— Luke. He’s no good for you—”
“I know you think that,” I said, pulling myself up to take a stand. “And I know you’ve thought that since the day he came here to talk to you.” A questionable look swept across his face, but he bit his tongue and let me continue. “But you know what, Charlie? I don’t care anymore. I’m not gonna keep pretending that what you’re doing is okay. You can’t keep bending over backward to keep me from seeing him. You can’t follow me around, question my every move, and lock me up in jail cells for the rest of my life.
I love him—”
“I don’t care,” he said. “As long as you’re under my roof—”
“I live by your rules,” I said. “Yeah, I know. I’ve heard it a million times.”
“You and Luke… that combination is out of the question—”
“I don’t understand why you hate him—”
“I don’t care if you understand!” he yelled. He took a deep breath to calm himself before continuing. “Luke is a damn good cop; he’s an even better person. I couldn’t ask for someone better on my force. My feelings about this situation have nothing to do with me not liking him. I love that kid like he’s my own. My problem, Julie, is that I don’t like the idea of you with him.”
“If he’s so great,” I said. “Why are you so recklessly determined to keep us apart?”
He glared at me, wearing his typically stern expression, but I refused to falter. For once in my life, I had something worth fighting for, and I was going to fight for it. Charlie must’ve sensed the determination in my stare, because he finally dropped his head.
“Because,” he said. “If you keep running after him, you’ll finally get what you want.”
“And… getting what I want is a bad thing?”
“Yes,” he admitted, and I had to give him credit for honesty. But I still didn’t understand. “You’re beautiful, Julie. You’re so intelligent, and sure… Luke would be an idiot to ignore all that. So yes, if you go after him, he’ll fall. Hard. And maybe someday you’ll get married and have a kid of your own.”
“I’m failing to see the problem with this picture,” I nearly whispered, imagining the joy that would come with spending an eternity with Luke.
“What happens when you get that call?” he asked, his eyes welling up with tears. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Reibeck, your husband won’t be coming home. He’s dead.” He choked down a sob, and I could see him reliving his very own past. A tear escaped from his eye and he quickly wiped it away. “Then what, Julie? Then you have nothing!”
“Charlie—”
“No!” he yelled. “Why haven’t you learned? Don’t you remember what you went through the night Luke was shot? Don’t you remember the hell it put you through? Multiply that by a million and maybe you’ll understand what it would be like to fall in love with him, marry him, have a family with him… then have it all ripped away in one fell swoop.”
I bit my tongue and swallowed hard.
Matt was only three when Charlie’s wife, my Aunt Laurie, was killed in a hit and run car accident. When Charlie’s peers showed up on his doorstep, heads hanging low, and delivered the news to my uncle, his life came crashing down. He’d lost his wife, and there was nothing he could do to rectify the situation. It was completely out of his control. He was left to raise Matty alone… and... true to what I’d always believed, he’d never healed his broken heart.
“Charlie,” I said, keeping my voice low. “I know you miss Laurie… but… no matter who I choose to love, that love will come with the risk of loss. Laurie had the safest job in the world, but that didn’t keep her from meeting her inevitable fate.” Charlie continued to shake his head, practically blubbering at this point. I couldn’t be sure he was listening to a single word I said. “I don’t want to live my life in fear anymore. Getting through this past year has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I cried myself to sleep for months after we buried my parents. I struggled to fit into this town and make friends at a new school. News flash, I didn’t fit in. The only friend I had was Matt. The only reason people accepted me was because of him. But deep down, I was just that freak whose parents were slaughtered. No one wanted to be my friend. And then I met Luke…and Derek… and everything changed. People started to actually care about me for me. I finally felt like I belonged somewhere.” Tears soaked my face, running from my eyes to my mouth. I wiped them away with the back of my sleeve and shook my head. “I lost Derek. He’s gone… he’s probably never coming back. But please don’t take Luke from me. He’s all I have.” I cried harder still, almost towering over from the pain. “So please… if you know where he is….”
Charlie dropped his head. He wiped away a single tear and shrugged.
“I haven’t heard from him, Julie,” he said. “You’ll be the first person he tries to contact. And if he’s not checking in with you, maybe you should take the hint.”
I nodded and turned back for the stairs.
“As long as Luke wants me in his life,” I said, turning back to get my last word in. “I’m going to be there. I don’t care if it’s one day, two months, or a lifetime… I’m not going to run from him just because I know he could die someday. Charlie, we’re all dying. Every breath we take… we’re one step closer to the end. And I want to spend every second of my life holding on to the people I love. If you can’t respect that, fine. That just makes you one less person I don’t have to waste my time loving.”
He nodded as if he finally understood, but didn’t say a word. I followed the steps to the second floor, reaching my room, and shutting the door quietly behind me.
I spent the next hour trying to call Luke, but the calls were going straight to voicemail.
By ten o’clock, I decided to get some sleep. If I hadn’t heard from Luke by now… I probably wouldn’t. Not tonight, anyway.
I lifted my school bag off the end of the bed, cursing myself when the contents of the bag spilled on the floor. I picked up each binder and notebook, one by one, and tucked them back into their rightful place. But the final notebook on the floor had fallen open. I picked it up and sat on the bed, leaning over the pages of scribbles, doodles, and chicken scratch.
It was my notebook from the job shadowing project.
I’d been in Luke’s patrol car when I first scribbled these questions on the page. And each answer he’d given me was written next to the original question. Little hearts covered the page. Tiny notes in the margin said things like you’re not the only one suffering, Julie and find out where his scar came from. I read over the notes for ten minutes, laughing at the stupid little notes I’d left myself. And then, as if by a force I couldn’t control, my eyes gravitated to the bottom of the page. Angry cops make bad cops.
And without another breath, I suddenly realized where Luke was.
Chapter Seven
Sunday December 23
I slid on ice for the third time, using the branches along the wooded path to keep myself from falling.
There was something incredibly eerie about the Oakland woods in the middle of the night. It wasn’t nearly as serene, beautiful, or magical as I’d remembered it.
I’d only ever taken this path once before. The first time I came through here, it was daytime… and I was holding on to Luke’s hand to keep from losing my way through the trees.
After ten minutes of drudging through the snow, I finally reached the opening. The hills that were once spread with thick, luscious, green grass and beautiful wildflowers were now covered with two inches of white, mostly untouched snow. The blanket glistened in the moonlight, and now—more than ever—I could understand why Luke came out here to escape.
Sitting at the far edge of the nearest hill, Luke stared out at the rolling acres. A fire burned next to him, crackling and popping as he looked on.
I took a few loud steps toward him, still trying to keep my balance.
“Luke,” I said quietly, hoping not to scare him.
He didn’t turn to acknowledge me. He simply looked on without moving an inch.
“You’re getting good at this disappearing act,” I said, trying to break the ice with a little smile. “You’ve been MIA for quite some time now, and you never did tell me how you got out of the cell last week. What’s your secret?” Still, he didn’t look at me. “I hope you’re not mad that I came out here…. I figured you wanted to be alone, but I’ve been worried about you. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” A few quiet minutes passed. I took a seat on the snow-covered hill and stared at him from the corner of my eye. “
You’ve been ignoring me.”
“No,” he whispered, finally looking at me. His nose was red and his cheeks were burned from the wind. “I left my phone at home. It’s probably dead—”
“Have you been out here all day?” I asked. “Is this where you came yesterday after you left? Lonnie said you never showed up at the house, which we all kinda thought you would. When… when no one heard from you, I was scared that you might’ve—”
“Fled?” he asked, understanding why I’d assumed so. “I’ve been here, yes.”
“The whole time?” I asked, wrapping my coat tighter. The cold wind trumped the warmth of the fire, so it worried me that he’d spent so long in these elements.
“I didn’t sleep here, if that’s what you’re asking,” he said. “I slept at home. I came back first thing this morning.”
I nodded. “It’s cold—”
“It’s… the only place I can….” He dropped his head. “I don’t trust myself around him. I had to walk away, Julie.”
“He never meant to hurt me, Luke,” I said, for what it was worth. “I provoked him. I… hit him first, actually. He just didn’t want to believe what I was telling him. He wanted me to stop talking, but… I didn’t. It was my fault—”
“It’s never your fault when someone else hurts you, Julie,” he said. “And I’m going to take care of it. I just… have to get my head on straight before I do. I have to get rid of all this rage… and that means letting go of everything I’ve been holding on to. Because… the way I feel about you, kid… it conquers everything else. Nothing else is that big. Not me, not Charlie, not my father… and not my past. You are the most important thing in my life. And loving you means protecting you, so I’m going to make this right—”
“You know what I want, Luke?” I asked. “I want you to forgive him. If you can let go of what he did to you, you can let go of what he did to me. It wasn’t intentional. Lonnie’s a good guy at heart, you know that. He has an amazing wife, an incredible son, and a world of love to give to the people who take the time to understand him.” I took his hands and squeezed them tight. “I want to be in your life, Luke. And I want that life to include Lonnie and Grace. They’re your family. They’re the only family you have left. So, please… put this anger behind you. Stop running. Because eventually, you’re gonna get old. And do you really want to reach the end of your life and reflect… and realize that you spent so many years running from the people who loved you the most?”
Just a Little Promise Page 4
