by Laura Ziepe
The following morning Grace stretched out in bed and yawned. It was so difficult getting up when it was wintertime, but she always left her alarm to the last minute so she had to start getting ready straightaway. She quickly checked her phone, her heart in her throat as she saw there were two text messages from Simon. She read the first one.
Look outside! x
She smiled immediately, jumping out of bed and pulling her blinds up. She was stunned not only to see a blanket of white on the grass in the back garden, but also to see two snowmen holding hands with great big smiles made from black pebbles. Had Simon really been round that morning and made them for her? He had to get up early for work anyway, but what time had he been there to create two snowmen? She laughed out loud, unable to believe what she was seeing. They made a snowman every year it snowed, but he’d never made two before; one clearly a girl and one a boy.
Grace clicked on the next message happily.
Once, we were just as happy as these snowmen. I want you to be that happy with me again, Grace. Let’s go back to the very start, even if it means just going out as friends. I’ll do anything to change into the old Simon you once loved. I can’t live without you. Please meet me Friday night. I’ve bought tickets to a Christmas show at the theatre and I’d love you to come. Simon xxx
Grace beamed. Simon cared. He was really willing to try to change for her, happy to take things slow and go back to the beginning. She had thought he didn’t have it in him to fight for her. For their relationship. She hadn’t been certain he cared enough anymore and it was a nice feeling, knowing that he did. Had this been the wakeup call he needed? Would she be making a mistake if she gave him another chance? Would things just go back to the way they were? Could people really change?
Grace wasn’t certain of anything, but she knew from the smile on her face and the warm feeling in her heart that for the first time in ages, she felt happy.
Chapter 12
Amber was on edge. It was the least comfortable she’d felt in a very long time and the thought irritated her; going to the Christmas market with Jack was something she usually couldn’t wait for. It was their little thing they did together every year. But now here she was, waiting for Jack and Natalya at the tube station, feeling as though she’d rather be anywhere in the world. She’d wondered that morning whether she should tell them she was unwell; too sick to get out of bed. It was snowing after all – a likely time for someone to come down with the flu or a virus. They would have easily believed her. But she knew what Jack was like and he’d probably have popped over with some medicine and soup or something. He was caring like that. The perfect boyfriend, and Amber had been too blind to realize until it was too late. It was so typical of her to recognize her true feelings at the wrong time. She was like that with everything. She thought back to when she’d been viewing apartments and how she’d seen her dream one straightaway. The estate agent had told her to get in quick with an offer, as it would be snapped up quickly, but Amber just assumed it was his sales spiel and continued to look at others. Of course, by the time she came to realize that the first apartment was in fact the best one, it was already sold. She did love the apartment she lived in now, but not like she had with the first one she’d viewed.
Was this what it was going to be like with men she met now? Would anyone ever compare to Jack? Was she going to get married one day (unlikely, but still) and wake up every day to a husband who she thought was nice, but not as nice as Jack? The one that got away. It was such a depressing thought. How had Amber not known that she was in love with him? Looking back, she knew she’d always loved him; she just hadn’t wanted to admit it in case she ruined their friendship. So she told herself that he was like a brother. You couldn’t fancy your brother, could you? It had been safe. The relationship they had was incredibly important to her, too special to spoil with confessions of love, so she’d simply denied it, even to herself. But now, it was all she could think about. He was the only thing on her mind, night after night, and today was going to prove incredibly difficult. It was now she understood that she loved Jack as more than a friend, she felt awkward around him. Every little touch from him made her skin tingle and heart flip over. It was so much easier when she had told herself she only loved him as a friend.
She wrapped her scarf around her neck a little tighter to shield herself from the cold. The snow had settled and the houses looked so pretty around her, everything sprinkled in white.
Amber spotted them walking towards her and tried to smile, hoping it was appearing natural and friendly. Praying it wasn’t revealing that seeing them together, her heart was breaking a little bit more.
‘Hey,’ she greeted them, wondering if something was up as the pair of them didn’t look in particularly good spirits.
‘Hi Amber,’ Natalya leaned in and planted a kiss on her cheek, but her voice wasn’t as chirpy as usual. She was normally like an excitable puppy and her despondent expression appeared as though her owner had left her alone for the day.
‘You okay?’ Jack asked, giving her a hug. He smelt delicious as usual, as she took in his familiar aftershave.
‘Yes, freezing, but it’s perfect weather to go to a Christmas market I guess,’ Amber replied.
They both seemed pretty tense and Amber guessed they’d had some sort of argument before they’d met her.
‘Everything okay?’ Amber mouthed the words to Jack as they walked to the train, without Natalya seeing.
He shrugged and rolled his eyes. ‘I’ll explain later,’ he mouthed back.
It wasn’t the best of journeys into London. It became even more clear that something was up as the pair of them wouldn’t talk to each other and only seemed to answer Amber. Still, Amber was thankful they weren’t all over each other making her feel like the odd one out. She’d take an argument any day of the week, however selfish that made her.
They walked around the market together browsing the stalls and buying presents and Amber was delighted when Natalya said she wanted to go back to the entrance to buy something she’d seen when they’d first arrived.
‘We’ll wait for you in the pub, shall we?’ Amber said, turning to Jack.
Jack nodded.
‘You didn’t need to buy anything else, Amber?’ Natalya asked hopefully, clearly not wanting to go back alone.
Under any other circumstances, Amber would have told Jack to go alone and she would have gone with Natalya. But Amber wanted to speak to Jack and find out what had happened. She wanted to be alone with him. This was normally their day out after all, and she still wasn’t happy the day had been gatecrashed by Natalya.
‘I’m all shopped out,’ Amber fibbed in weary tones, looking at the cosy pub in the distance. ‘I’m sure you won’t be long. What drink do you want?’
Natalya looked a little vexed as she looked at the busy market. ‘A white wine would be lovely please.’
‘A white wine it is then,’ Amber replied cheerfully. ‘We’ll see you in a bit.’
Amber followed Jack as they made their way to the pub. ‘Right, can you please explain now what is up with you two, please? Talk about making me feel in the middle today,’ she said, pretending to feel uncomfortable when actually she was hoping they were having problems and the wedding would be called off.
Jack sighed heavily as he lent on the bar. ‘I went out last night with work. Christmas drinks,’ he said, looking up with an unreadable expression. ‘I was supposed to be seeing her but she texted me at nine telling me it was too late and I should just stay out. So I did. She wasn’t impressed. Started saying that I must be chatting up other women or something.’
Amber nodded, her brow wrinkled. ‘Well that’s just silly. Why would it mean you were chatting up other women just because you were out late? So you’ve had a bit of an argument?’
Jack nodded. ‘I adore her, I really do, but it’s hard to adapt to being in a relationship when I’m used to being single, you know? I go out a lot with work networking and building relatio
nships with clients. I don’t think she understands that. She expects me to be home at six every night to see her and I’ve told her, that’s not going to happen. I was still intending to see her last night, but the time just went before I knew it. I didn’t do it on purpose. My job means I have to work late sometimes. Not all the time, but a few times a week.’
‘Of course,’ Amber said, gazing at her friend lovingly. She would understand if she was his girlfriend. She wouldn’t kick up a fuss. ‘So what now?’ Amber wondered. A break up? She was hoping that Jack would see that clearly this wasn’t going to work. Jack needed someone less needy. He needed someone more understanding. He needed her.
‘Oh, we’ll be fine,’ he said nonchalantly. ‘We don’t argue a lot, this is one of our first ones. I guess I’ll just have to sit her down and explain that I’ll make more of an effort.’
‘But she needs to see that it’s Christmas and you’re working…’
‘Yes, but I can see where she’s coming from,’ Jack interjected, sticking up for Natalya, much to Amber’s annoyance. ‘Maybe I need to change a bit. I suppose you have to compromise when you’re in a relationship. Everyone has issues and bumps in the road. It’s not a big deal.’
‘I’m not saying it is,’ Amber replied slightly defensively. Why was he telling her any of this if he didn’t want her opinion and was going to stick up for Natalya anyway? Why was he arguing with her if he agreed with what Natalya thought? ‘I think it’s silly that you’re not talking. When Natalya comes back, you should talk to her and sort it out. I don’t mind going off for a bit to give you some space,’ she said considerately, hoping he would tell her that her going off wasn’t necessary.
‘Would you mind?’ he asked, rubbing his stubble with an awkward gaze. ‘I feel bad that we haven’t spoken today. You’re right, it’s ridiculous. I hate arguing with her. I’m just used to being single and only ever having to think about myself.’
‘Of course I don’t mind,’ Amber replied, squeezing his hand, not wanting to let go of him.
‘You’re a good friend, you know that?’ he said fondly, staring into her eyes.
‘I know, I know,’ she said, looking away. ‘It’s freezing outside and I’m enjoying my mulled wine. Instead I have to go back out into the cold to look at all the same stalls again just so you can make up with your girlfriend.’ She rolled her eyes in mock exasperation.
‘Fiancée,’ he corrected her. ‘Though I’m certainly not in a rush to get married anytime soon.’
It was music to Amber’s ears. She’d been terrified he was going to give her a wedding date. That would make it more real. It would make Jack seem even more unobtainable than he already was. Not that Amber had any intention of ever telling him her true feelings. How could she? He seemed really keen on Natalya, upset by their silly row. Amber didn’t feel like she’d ever be able to say anything bad about her, even if she thought it; Jack had made it quite clear just a moment ago that he would be on Natalya’s side. It was just another stab in the heart. ‘I couldn’t agree more,’ Amber replied. ‘You shouldn’t be rushing into marriage. Especially after only meeting not so long ago.’
Jack took a sip of his pint. ‘That’s the thing though. She wants to get married next year. She doesn’t want to wait.’
Amber nearly spat her drink out in shock. ‘But why?’
He shrugged casually. ‘She says she knows I’m the one and doesn’t see the point in waiting. She wants children straight after the honeymoon.’
‘Wow,’ Amber said in a quiet voice. She didn’t trust herself to say anything else. She could just imagine blurting out that he needed to stop this right now. He couldn’t marry Natalya and he definitely couldn’t have children with her. She could imagine his confused expression as he asked her why and then she would grab his face like they did in films and kiss him.
That’s why.
‘I know, it’s crazy, right? I still feel too young to have kids. But my dad had two by my age.’
Amber swallowed hard. ‘You’ll make a great father.’
‘Do you really think?’ He looked ecstatic at her words, a huge grin on his face and Amber couldn’t believe that they were actually seriously talking about this. When had Jack grown up without her? Six months ago, he would have laughed about becoming a parent, but now, here he was, unable to wipe the smile off his face at the thought of it. ‘I’ve always thought I’d be a bit of a pushover as a parent. A bit like my dad I guess. I swear he used to turn a blind eye to us when we used to steal cider at Christmas. He must have known,’ he laughed.
The time when Jack had tried to kiss her flashed into Amber’s mind again. If only she’d known back then how she was going to feel at this very moment. She’d have kissed him back. To hell with how they both felt the next day. Life was about risks. It was a risk Amber had wished she’d taken. But she had only been sixteen and too young to know what she wanted in the future.
Natalya walked through the entrance to the pub at that moment, her eyes roaming the sea of faces until they landed on the pair of them. She looked truly miserable and vulnerable walking in all alone and Amber knew it was her time to leave so Jack could make amends.
‘Just call me when you’ve finished and I’ll either come back or meet you at the tube station so we can go back together,’ she told him, standing up. She looked up at Natalya who was now looking puzzled that she was leaving. ‘I’m going to quickly have another browse around,’ she said quietly. ‘Let you two talk.’
‘Thanks Amber,’ Natalya replied.
It was thirty minutes later when Amber’s mobile rang. Amber was bored stiff and ready to leave, so was pleased they’d finally sorted things out.
The journey back was completely different to the way there. Gone were the awkward silences and icy stares between them. It was exactly how Amber had feared as she watched the couple all over each other, stealing kisses and touching hands whenever they could. Amber could tell that Natalya was insecure though. There were a few times that she felt Natalya was kissing him just to show the world that Jack was hers and she even caught her telling him off for looking at another woman on the train for too long. Jack seemed genuinely confused by Natalya’s sulky expression, denying he’d been looking, and Amber felt sorry for him. She had to bite her tongue to stay out of it and not get involved. She didn’t want to be the interfering, jealous friend, but she couldn’t see why Natalya was acting so anxious about what Jack was doing. Jack wasn’t that kind of guy. He wasn’t the creepy man eyeing up girls on trains. If anything, he was the guy helping out the woman on the train being hit on by someone sleazy. Jack was a gentleman. He could be trusted. How didn’t Natalya see this?
‘Thanks so much for letting me come along today, Amber,’ Natalya smiled, leaning on Jack’s shoulder on the train. ‘I’m all tired now.’
‘Don’t be silly. You’re more than welcome,’ Amber replied, wondering if she’d asked to go along because of her insecurity. Was she worried about their friendship? Amber wasn’t sure. She was so friendly towards her, but she was now starting to wonder if it was a case of her keeping her enemies close. The more she watched Natalya, the more she questioned whether this was the case. ‘Anyway guys, this is my stop,’ Amber said, standing up. Jack stood up and hugged her quickly and Natalya copied.
‘Lovely to see you as always,’ Jack told her. ‘We’ll have to meet up soon and go to that new Italian restaurant in Manor Street.’
‘Definitely,’ Amber replied, her stomach growling at the thought.
She waved goodbye to them, watching as Natalya cuddled up to Jack and closed her eyes, exhausted. Was she trying to show Amber that he was hers now? Or was Amber imagining it? Not that Amber would ever say a word. There was no way she’d want to upset Jack and lose him as a friend entirely. But if there was one thing Amber would lay money on, it was that all was certainly not well in paradise.
Chapter 13
Rachel exhaled sharply when she saw Nick calling her, but she clicked on the butt
on to accept the call. She was already late to work and really didn’t have time to chat. The sooner this was over with the better.
‘Hello?’
‘Hi Amber, it’s Nick Cunningham,’ came the sharp tones down the phone, ‘about the car.’
‘Oh hi, Nick. Sorry again about what happened,’ she apologized, a little breathlessly as she raced to Tidemans.
He ignored the apology. ‘I’ve had the car looked at and it’s going to cost around £200 to repair,’ he said hurriedly.
Rachel sighed inwardly. A £200 bill was really not what she needed now, given that she was paying Grace rent and had also spent so much money on presents and clothes. Talk about coming at the worst time possible. But she’d manage somehow; she always did. ‘Okay. How did you want me to pay you?’
‘What about bank transfer?’ came his formal response.
‘Yes I could do. I seem to have lost the fob though that allows me to transfer money online. I can go into my bank when I get a chance and see if they can…’
‘Where do you work?’ he interrupted brusquely.
Rachel hated the way he was talking to her. Fair enough, she’d stupidly driven into his car, but Nick was so rude he was making her feel angry. There was no need to be like this. She’d said sorry and she was going to pay, so what was his problem?
She cleared her throat. ‘I work at Tidemans, in the make-up department. Pop Cosmetics.’
‘Right, Tidemans,’ he repeated. ‘I’ll come by this afternoon after two. Does that work for you?’
Rachel dreaded to think what he’d say if she said it didn’t. He was so terse and uptight it was shocking. ‘Yes that should be fine.’
