by Laura Ziepe
Her mother was driving her to London Heathrow airport. Amber had decided on Christmas Eve as she sat at home feeling sorry for herself that this year, she was going away for Christmas. She couldn’t wait another day and the thought of spending time with both Jack and Natalya made her feel sick with worry. She couldn’t, and wouldn’t, do it. She was going to Dubai and would rather spend the whole day on an aeroplane where no one would look at her in pity, like she imagined Jack would, or with daggers, like she knew Natalya would. At least she was safe and unreachable on a plane. At least she was far away and could attempt to forget her sorrows.
‘Say there isn’t a flight? You’ll have to come all the way back again. This is probably a complete wasted journey; you should have booked online. Do you want me to wait to see if you can get a ticket? That’s probably the best idea, isn’t it?’
‘My wi-fi was playing up and I couldn’t seem to get online,’ Amber explained, blinking in frustration at her mother’s negativity. ‘Besides, I’ll just wait until a ticket becomes available so really no need to wait. I don’t mind.’
‘They’ll whack the prices right up, I guarantee it.’ Her mother tutted disapprovingly. ‘And call me selfish, but I was hoping to spend Christmas Day with my only daughter; we usually have such a laugh together with Diane and the family. Please, tell me why you’re really running away? It’s to do with Jack, isn’t it?’
Her mother wasn’t stupid. She knew this was erratic behaviour. It was typical Amber behaviour to run away when things went wrong. Perhaps she was more like her father than she realized? She’d called him the night before and explained about her sudden departure saying her reasons were personal. He had promised to visit if she decided to stay in Dubai for long and wished her a Merry Christmas.
Amber ignored her mother’s question and looked out of the window, deep in thought. She wondered how Jack would take the news that she was going? Would he be relieved? She sure as hell knew that Natalya would. This would make her day.
‘Are you going to tell me why you’re going Amber, or not?’ Her mother’s tone softened. ‘Today won’t be the same without you. I’m going to miss you not just being upstairs while you’re away.’
‘Sorry Mum, I won’t be gone forever. Yes, you’re right too; it’s to do with Jack,’ she admitted. ‘Let’s just say that you were right about my feelings and let’s also just say that he wasn’t on the same page. I can’t go today, it’s just too painful. I need to clear my head and get away for a while.’
Her mother nodded understandingly. ‘If it makes any difference, I think he’s making a mistake,’ she told her gingerly.
‘Thanks Mum, but it doesn’t. Jack obviously doesn’t see it that way,’ she replied in a small voice. ‘You can’t help who you love, can you?’
As they arrived at Heathrow, her mother looked at her sadly.
‘I’m sorry things didn’t work out this time, Amber. But I still have a good feeling about the two of you; I always have done.’
Amber rolled her eyes as she hugged her mum goodbye.
‘He’s marrying Natalya, Mum. And I’m going to Dubai. I need to move on and so do you.’ She pulled away and gave her mum a loving smile. ‘Can you give these gifts to the others? I bought them a while back. I even bought Natalya something, being the good friend I am.’ She sighed, suddenly feeling nervous and alone. She didn’t mind travelling on her own as she’d done it countless times, but it felt unusual because it was Christmas Day. ‘Have a lovely Christmas, Mum. Send everyone my love, won’t you?’
Her mother blinked away the tears. ‘I will do. I wish I could change your mind, but I know better than to try. You’ve always done things the way you want, even from being a little girl. Stay safe sweetheart, and Happy Christmas.’ She gripped her into a tight hug once more and squeezed her.
‘Bye Mum,’ Amber said, feeling as though something was lodged in her throat. It wasn’t too late to change her mind. She could run after her mother and go back home with her head held high, but she knew she wouldn’t.
Amber took a deep breath, looking at the jolly faces around her. Everyone was full of Christmas spirit and Amber seemed to be the only miserable person. It just didn’t feel like Christmas today; there seemed to have been a massive build up and now Amber just felt like a deflated balloon, empty and lifeless. She walked over to one of the desks to enquire about tickets to Dubai. She knew her mother was probably right and it was going to cost a fortune seeing as she was buying at the airport, but Amber didn’t care. Whatever the cost, she was leaving.
‘Can I help you?’ the kind looking red-haired lady asked her as she approached the desk.
‘Hi, I was just wondering if you had any tickets to Dubai flying out today?’
‘Today?’ the lady repeated, checking her system. There was a short pause as she perused the screen in front of her. ‘We have one seat left on our Emirates flight departing at one-thirty today…’
‘I’ll take it,’ Amber interrupted her. She didn’t care that she would have to wait. So long as there was a seat, she could go.
‘It’s £945,’ the lady explained, pulling a slight face at the high price.
Amber bit her lip hard as she thought about how long it took her to earn that kind of money. She was thankful she’d been able to save some money over the years; it wasn’t much, but it was enough to get by while she was out there until she started working.
‘Okay,’ she heard herself answer. ‘I’ll take it. I want that ticket.’
‘Amber, stop,’ she heard a voice say.
Amber squinted her eyes at the lady in front of her who was looking behind her, perplexed. Had she just imagined that voice?
‘Cancel whatever she’s booking,’ Jack said, marching over with authority. ‘She’s not going anywhere,’ he said robustly.
Amber felt herself become flustered at Jack’s sudden arrival.
‘Jack, what on earth are you doing here at the airport?’
‘I can’t let you do this, Amber,’ he said, almost angrily. ‘You can’t just run away.’
‘I’m a big girl, Jack, and I’m going,’ she told him obstinately. ‘There was really no need to come. You should be with Natalya.’ She continued to look for her credit card in her purse. She was completely shocked that Jack had turned up, but there was no way he was stopping her departure. He must have felt more sorry for her than she realized.
The red-haired lady looked uncertain. ‘Look, why don’t I give you two a few moments to talk about it,’ she said, staring at them blankly for a few seconds. ‘I really think that’s best. Now if you don’t mind stepping to one side…’ She gesticulated for Amber to move over and the couple behind her wasted no time in stepping into her place.
‘Jack, what are you doing here?’ Amber said impatiently with a theatrical sigh. ‘I don’t need your sympathy. You should be with your family today, not wasting time with me here. This isn’t what I wanted. I’m not an attention seeker and was hoping to just get away without any fuss.’
Jack looked at her intensely. ‘Merry Christmas to you too.’
Amber clicked her tongue and looked away, colouring slightly. ‘Happy Christmas, Jack. I’m sorry, I really didn’t want to spoil everyone’s day by doing this.’
‘Well, you have,’ Jack said tetchily. ‘You’ve ruined mine.’
‘I’m sure you’ll get over me not being there for just one year,’ Amber told him, feeling shaky at his presence.
Jack’s eyes narrowed. ‘Why do you have to be selfish and just run off, Amber? You didn’t even tell me you were going,’ he said resentfully. ‘I only heard first thing this morning from my mum that you were leaving.’
‘Are you kidding me?’ Amber said defensively. ‘After what I said to you, you haven’t said a word to me. You haven’t called me or texted me, so why on earth would I assume that you cared? I didn’t ask you to come all the way here, Jack. You could have just called and said goodbye…’
‘You know I care,’ he interjecte
d stubbornly, ‘and if I’d have called, you probably wouldn’t have answered anyway. I know what you’re like. It wouldn’t have made any difference.’ He stiffened and his jaw set.
‘I don’t know what you want to me to do or say. Sorry if I’ve ruined your Christmas Day, I really am. But I’m leaving for Dubai for the foreseeable future.’
He fell silent.
Amber continued, ‘Now you’d better be heading back to Natalya. I’m sure she’ll be fuming when she realizes you’re gone. She’s very likely on her way here right this very second. I’m surprised she’s not already here.’ She looked over her shoulder, half expecting Natalya to jump out from somewhere and throttle her.
‘Oh, just shut up,’ Jack closed his eyes momentarily.
Amber felt annoyed. ‘No, Jack, I won’t shut up. Like I said before, she never lets you do anything and it’s ridiculous. She’s going to turn up here, I just know it, and then you’ll really be in trouble. She’ll go absolutely ballistic. Do you know she even came to my Christmas ball to warn me away? Who does that? She’s lost the plot, I swear, she’s—’ She broke off, gasping as Jack pulled her close to him and kissed her hard on the mouth. Amber couldn’t breathe. It took her a moment to actually realize what was happening and she pulled away, breathless. ‘Jack, what are you doing?’
‘It was the only way to get you to shut up,’ he said breathlessly. ‘There is no Natalya,’ Jack looked up at her and smirked. ‘I broke up with her two nights ago. You were right about her, Amber. I think I always knew it deep down. Perhaps not at the very start, but I could see what she was like and I knew it wasn’t healthy. I guess I just ignored her strange ways, hoping they’d go away. She was my first real serious relationship and I think I didn’t want to believe it was over.’
Amber wanted to smile from ear to ear, but she was concerned about something. ‘I don’t want to be a rebound, Jack,’ she said timidly, taken aback by what had just happened.
He gazed at her in adoration, as if he’d always been waiting to tell her what he was about to. ‘You could never be a rebound, Amber. I’ve always been in love with you.’ He laughed. ‘I thought you knew that? After you turned me down that time, I promised myself I wouldn’t attempt it again. I may have acted like it wasn’t a big deal, but I could never have handled the rejection again. My sixteen-year-old ego was very bruised that night, let me tell you, and since then, I’ve never been brave enough to tell you how I really feel. Not until you ever showed me some kind of sign that you loved me back.’
‘But you never said it back to me when I told you the other day?’ Amber was confused. ‘Why didn’t you tell me all these things then?’
‘It came as a surprise and I think I was too shocked for words. That, and the fact that I was still in a relationship with Natalya who showed up moments afterwards. I had to speak to her first. I couldn’t tell you I’ve always loved you when I was still in a relationship with someone else. When I was engaged to someone else; you know I’m not like that.’
Amber couldn’t resist a grin. She felt elated by his words.
‘I’m scared, Jack,’ she admitted. ‘I’m scared we’re going to ruin what we have if it all goes wrong.’
He rested his soft hands either side of her cheeks and looked into her eyes making her feel as though she was in a dream.
‘I’m terrified too,’ he confessed in gentle tones. ‘But I’m more petrified of not giving this a go. I’m a lot more scared of losing you to Dubai. I love you, Amber. I’ve always loved you; it’s been so hard to keep it in and watch you date guy after guy when I felt this way, but I didn’t have a choice. I forced myself to move on and forget about the idea of us. I thought being with Natalya would mean my feelings were switched off, but they weren’t. My feelings are still very much the same.’ He smiled at her once more and she kissed him, her insides flipping over as she did so.
‘What did Natalya say?’ she whispered moments later, not wanting to bring her up again.
‘Well, as you can imagine, she isn’t very happy. But as luck would have it, when I told my friend from work, James, who introduced us that we’d split, he told me that Natalya had cheated on me several times anyway. She denied it at first, but eventually came clean and said she did it because she thought I must be doing the same. She’s begged for forgiveness, but at least now she may accept that we will never be getting back together. I’m sure she’ll move on.’
It didn’t surprise Amber in the slightest that Natalya had cheated on Jack; she’d been so insecure that Amber actually felt a little sorry for her. Despite everything, Amber hoped Natalya managed to find some kind of happiness one day.
‘I’m sure she’ll move on too,’ she replied hopefully. ‘Eventually.’ She rolled her eyes knowing that it was likely Natalya wouldn’t go down without a fight. She could handle it though. So long as Amber had Jack by her side then she could handle anything.
‘Right, let’s go and enjoy our Christmas Day.’ Jack held out his hand and Amber took it like it was the most natural thing in the world. She wondered why she hadn’t realized her feelings for Jack sooner. It just felt so right between them, as though they had been made for each other all along and Amber knew that this was the start of something that would last forever. She would spend the rest of her life with Jack, she was certain of it.
‘I can’t wait,’ she said happily and they practically skipped back to Jack’s car.
Chapter 34
Rachel listened to what her mother was saying in shock. It was hard to take her seriously with her flashing Christmas jumper and hat, but what her mother was telling her wasn’t as amusing as her outfit.
‘So they’ve split up, can you believe it? Mark has left Bianca even though she’s pregnant. Honestly, what a complete mess. Thank goodness you’re out of the equation. Imagine getting a girl pregnant after having an affair and then walking out on her when it’s not quite as exciting as before?’ her mother said, showing her distaste.
‘How do you know?’ Rachel asked.
‘I bumped into Mary Harper in the supermarket, remember her? She’s best friends with Bianca’s mother,’ she explained as she dried up another plate. ‘Bianca isn’t that bothered by all accounts. She said it wasn’t working out and she’d rather bring the baby up alone than with him. She doesn’t know what she’s let herself in for, let me tell you that now. Babies, as cute as they are, are hard work. Especially alone.’
‘I can’t believe it,’ Rachel said, stupefied. ‘He said he was leaving her because the excitement had gone?’
‘Well, Mary didn’t exactly say that, but I guess that’s the reason, don’t you? Never happy, that man; always after something else. He’ll end up alone, you mark my words.’
‘It could be for a number of reasons,’ Rachel said thoughtfully. ‘I knew they weren’t compatible, but I really thought that they’d last somehow, especially seeing as a baby is involved.’
Her mother was right; it was all one big mess. Rachel wished she didn’t feel sorry for Bianca, but she couldn’t help it. She guessed because she no longer cared about them being together, because she’d finally accepted it, she couldn’t hate her any longer. In fact, she didn’t even feel angry about it anymore. Not entirely. All her thoughts were taken up with Nick and what could happen between them. She constantly found herself daydreaming and fantasizing about him. Rachel just pitied Bianca’s situation; it wasn’t easy for any woman to bring up a child alone when it was unplanned. She wondered how Bianca would cope. Mark’s mother would be absolutely livid with her son for walking away, she knew that much.
‘Well, it’s nothing for you to worry about now, is it?’ her mother said protectively. ‘I think you handled yourself marvellously, and now look how happy you are meeting that lovely new man.’
Rachel felt a slight colour coming to her cheeks. ‘It’s really early days, Mum. I want to take things nice and slow. I’m not rushing into anything this time.’
After the Christmas ball, Nick had stayed at Gr
ace’s place for the night with her and the following day they’d gone to Rachel’s parents for breakfast because he’d wanted to meet them. It felt amazing to get their approval after they told her what a lovely man they thought he was. Normally if a man had wanted to meet her parents so soon it would have put Rachel off; after all, who usually wanted to meet the parents? But with Nick it was different. She wanted her parents to know that she’d met someone. Someone pretty special too.
The loud, buzzing sound of the doorbell startled both Rachel and her mother and they glanced at each other in wonderment at who could be visiting them on Christmas Day.
‘I’m not expecting anyone, are you?’ Rachel’s mother questioned in puzzlement, her brow furrowed as she put down the tea towel that she was holding.
Rachel listened out to who it was at the door as she sat drinking her tea, surprised when her mother called her name out.
Her heart leapt as she spotted Nick standing at the door and her mother looking delighted with a beautiful bunch of flowers he’d obviously just given her.
‘It’s Nick, darling,’ she beamed brightly. ‘Look at these stunning flowers he’s bought me, aren’t they lovely?’ she gushed, smelling them with a huge grin.
‘Nick, Happy Christmas,’ Rachel said, unable to resist smiling widely at him. She leant forward and kissed him. ‘Do you want to come in? I didn’t realize you were going to come over.’
He flapped his hand. ‘No, thanks for the offer but I can’t stop. I just wanted to give you your present and to be honest, I couldn’t bear the thought of not seeing you today; even if it’s quickly.’
Rachel took the gift, feeling on top of the world. How wonderful it was to hear words like that when Nick had been all she’d been able to think of all day.
‘Thanks so much. Have you seen Noah?’ she asked.
‘I’ve just dropped him home to Claire. I’m off to see my family now as they’re waiting for me. I told them I had to quickly pop over to see my girlfriend and I’d be straight over,’ he said casually.
