by HJ Bellus
“No, Guy. I need you now.”
“You have me.”
“Fuck you. I need you now.”
His deep chuckle rolls over my shoulders. I reach between us with one hand fumbling for his button and zipper. He finally gives in working himself from his jeans. I plant my hand on the truck and relax into him. The head of him rubs my folds and I take action pushing back on him. When our bodies connect, all control is lost. I hold on for dear life while he drives in and out of me.
It’s the roughest we’ve ever connected. Guy’s hands dig into my side as he drives into me rough and hard. I feel the bundle of nerves work up into a greater mass before I bite down on my bottom lip and spiral out of control. A few muffled moans escape in the night air. I feel Guy grow bigger in me and then his hands nearly pinch my sides to a painful point before he releases inside of me.
His sweaty body collapses on my back pushing my chest into the side of the truck.
“So good,” I mumble with my cheek pressed against cool glass. “That girl of yours is one lucky bitch.”
I feel his smile on my neck. “Naw, I’m the lucky fucker.”
We both share a light laugh and then hear someone call out my name. I see Trig round the corner of the truck. Guy moves so swiftly he doesn’t give Trig a chance to see my bare ass. He stands in front of me while I remain pressed up against the truck. I watch the movement of Guy’s arms as he tucks himself back into his jeans not giving a shit if Trig sees all of it.
“Need something,” Guy growls.
“Looking for, uh, Molly.”
I can see Trig push his cowboy hat backwards and wipe his brow. I have my pants pulled up and am buttoning them before I can grab Guy. He steps forward grabbing Trig by his collar.
“Listen, motherfucker. She’s mine.”
Trig holds both of his hands up in the air. “Just seeing if she’s okay.”
“That’s the thing you dumb fucker. She’s mine and will always be okay.” Guy sends him onto the ground.
Trig’s ass hits the dirt hard.
“Guy,” I holler.
But my warning is lost in the night air.
“You piece of shit.” Trig bounces back up on his feet with fight in his eyes. “You don’t deserve her.”
Trig doesn’t back off, getting right up in his face. I finally quit yelling seeing as it will do no good.
“Just because you were Amos’ best friend doesn’t mean you automatically get her.” Trig pulls back an arm and sends it in Guy’s direction. He connects with his lower jaw.
“Say it again, bastard,” Guy growls.
Trig replies the same comment nose to nose with Guy. He’s baiting him. Guy is baiting him and I know it.
“Stop,” I yell one more time trying to stop the two.
“If you ever speak of Amos one more time I’ll kill you and if you ever fucking look at Molly like you want to eat her alive I’ll fucking kill you. Consider this a warning.”
Guy takes Trig to the ground. The sounds of punishing fists fill the air. Bones crack, fists fly, and Guy spirals completely out of control. He’s gone.
19
Molly
“Just sitting here wishing the worst for someone special.” -Amos
I refused to bail Guy out of jail. Something inside of me told me he needed the time to think. And part of me was at peace knowing he was somewhere he wouldn’t hurt himself. I’ve fed Royal Atlas and spent too much time staring at the horse.
The sad golden brown eyes stare back at me. It crushes my soul. I see Guy in him. Both want to heal and be accepted but they just don’t know the path to take. So much power, determination, and good to give the world if they can just break out of their personal prison.
Dad’s truck pulls up into his normal parking spot. He thought it best for him to go get Guy. I didn’t give him all the details, but I’m sure he’ll soon learn them. The harsh words from Trig still sting when I think about them. I’m certain his intentions were originally good, but he hurt Guy on purpose. Nothing excuses the reactions. Nothing.
Guy and my dad both get out of the truck and exchange a few words before parting. Dad takes off for the house while Guy strides down to the barn. I lean on Royal’s stall, cross my arms, and watch him enter the front of the barn.
He looks up to me with sadness bathing his features. I’m shocked when he walks right up to me, takes my hand, and guides me into his bedroom. I expected him to lock me out, forcing me to start all over. I honestly didn’t know if I had the energy for it all over again.
The door slams behind us causing me to jump. Guy plops down on the edge of his bed, pulling me between his legs. His head drops to my stomach while his arms pull me even closer. My hands run over his hair soothing away some of the stress. He’s in the same outfit from the night of the fight.
I reach down and grab the hem of his shirt pulling it off. My eyes flash wide when I see new ink on him. Five letters on the side of his back that was blank. “Molly.” My fingers trace each spot of ink, letting them soak into the tips of my fingers. I feel his body begin to tremble. When I try to step back and force him to look up at me he refuses.
He’s breaking down, crying, and doesn’t want me to see him in this state, but he pulled me in here. I hold him tighter to me. I’ll give him as long as he needs. It’s a step toward the right direction even though we just took three large leaps backwards.
When he finally returns to normal breathing, I step back, and push his shoulders into the mattress. I rush into the bathroom starting the shower making sure it’s as hot as it will go. When I turn to go get him, he’s standing in the doorway to the bathroom. His hands on the door frame staring holes in me.
“Guy,” I whisper.
“I’m sorry.”
I step closer to him, running my hands up and down his chest. “Don’t be. I love you.”
“I saw red. I couldn’t help myself.”
“I understand. It’s something we need to work on.”
“Nobody will ever fucking talk about Amos.”
“I get that and love you for it.”
“I don’t like losing control, but it feels so damn good. It’s addictive.”
That admission hurts. Hurts like a bitch, but it’s his reality. He wants and needs to be back in the line of war protecting his brothers and fighting for his country.
“We need you, Guy. Do you think you can hold onto that?”
He nods weakly. One day he will believe it. I take his hand and help him out of his clothes. I open the shower door for him to step in. He does with one foot, but wraps an arm low at the base of my spine and with the other he begins to strip my clothes from me. We stand under the streaming hot water. I take care of him, lathering up soap, and washing him.
We both climb into bed not worrying about dinner. I’m thankful my momma doesn’t interrupt us.
“I should’ve stayed away,” he finally whispers.
I prop up on an elbow, peering down at him with a questioning look.
“I’m just going to hurt you. I hate this. I need to find peace.”
There’s only one-way to answer him. I climb my naked body up onto his while clutching his hands in mine. I sink down onto him and begin to slowly roll my hips while biting down on my bottom lip.
“Thank you, Molly,” he growls.
The sensation of being on top of him is overwhelming making it hard to take it slow. My hips are greedy with need.
“Guy,” I begin chanting his name over and over again before I implode seeing stars.
He flips me over, pressing my back into the mattress. He continues to move in and out of me slowly. It’s his turn to make love to me. It takes him only a few minutes before he’s growling and releasing into me. My hands clutch to his ass refusing to let him move.
The man has a glorious ass. Besides his beard, his ass is my favorite part of his body. I could survive on his ass only needing nothing else.
He grunts a few times before rolling off me, pulling me
to his side. I study his face as he stares up at the celling not saying a word. My fingers tangle in his beard.
“You need to get help, Guy.” I squeeze my eyes shut with trepidation.
He remains silent, so I continue.
“You’re trying and I give you that. I’m so proud of you and more in love with you than I ever have been, but Guy, you need help.”
He finally nods.
“I’ll be there with you the whole time if you need me. You’ve come so far with Royal Atlas but you need more.”
“Okay,” he finally whispers.
“You deserve to heal, baby.” I climb over the top of him and make my way to the bathroom to clean up.
By the time I get back to the bed, Guy’s light snores fill the small room. He’s so peaceful lost in slumber. It’s the one wish I have for him. I’m glad he’s going to finally accept professional help. It’s the first night I lay my head down on the pillow with a light heart.
20
Molly
“Peeing outside is awesome.” -Amos
It’s the first rodeo Guy has attended since the night he went to jail. He’s made good on his promise and made an appointment with a local counselor that specializes in PTSD. He still has good days and God-awful days. There’s no in between and I’m coming to terms with that. It’s the scar he’ll have to bare the rest of his life.
Broker paws the ground underneath me excited to get in the arena. Rodeo, working horses, and loving Guy have been my therapy to surviving and life is simply sweet once again.
“Molly.”
I look over to Trig who is also on horseback.
“Hey.” My gut twists seeing the man. I know deep-down in my heart Guy was wrong, oh so wrong. But the words he spoke about Amos still make me sick.
“I can’t believe you’re still with him.”
“Trig, don’t.”
“He’s dangerous and I’m worried about you.”
“Thanks, but he’s not dangerous and I’d appreciate it if you’d stay away from us.”
He shakes his head. “I can’t believe you’re throwing everything away for that animal.”
“Trig, you need to stop. You know better. I’m not sure what the hell is wrong with you.”
He lets an evil laugh out. “You wouldn’t. You never saw how much I wanted you.”
“My heart has always belonged to Guy. He’s one of a kind and the best man I know.”
I turn Broker away from him and face the arena. I’m thankful when I hear his horse trot off. Trig? Had no idea about that one, but can simply chalk it up to being hopelessly in love with Guy my entire life. Cowboy and Princess, baby.
My name is announced, I check Broker at the gate, and let him run. We’re free when we run barrels. He takes every single one of them tight and clean. It’s a fast run. I pat his neck, give Grandpa a wink, and head for the trailer. The win should be sweet, but it’s my first birthday without Amos. It sucks and my family and the ranch is still in the “I’m not ready to live mode”.
Momma didn’t make me my favorite cupcakes for my birthday breakfast. My daddy didn’t wake me up singing to me and Grandpa hasn’t mentioned a thing. It’s like they’re not ready to move on. I haven’t been too critical on Guy about my special day since it seems we’re still walking on a thin sheet of glass. And I’m okay with that.
The little brat inside me may protest, but it’s a good day all in all.
“Nice run, babe.”
I turn to see Guy standing near the trailer with his hands tucked in his pockets, ballcap twisted backwards, and aviators on…he’s sexier than the word sexy. His V-neck white shirt hugs his body perfectly with his ink peeking out from the sleeves. I love the fact that he was basically raised on the ranch, but doesn’t dress the part of a cowboy. He’s just him, always.
“Hey, sexy.” I smile widely hopping off Broker and walking his way.
When he smiles these days, it makes my world complete. Guy opens his arms wide for me to leap into and I do just that. I inhale his scent and cling to him.
“You’re so fucking sexy when you ride,” he mumbles into my neck.
“I love you.”
“Mmmm, can we get home, so I can show you just how much I love you?”
I pull back and peer into his eyes. They’re happy for a change. “Show?”
“I’m much better at showing then telling.”
“By all means, big guy.” I pat his chest and back away before we get out of control.
I don’t miss the chatter of fellow cowboys and cowgirls lingering around us. It doesn’t affect me that I’m not a part of it. I have my whole future right here with Guy and my family.
Momma, Dad, and Grandpa head out before I have the trailer loaded and ready. Guy relaxes back in the passenger seat with his long legs spread wide. If I were a betting woman, I’d bet he was tempting my ass, but I keep my attention on the job at hand.
“Are you hungry?” I wrap my hat hair up into a messy pony on the top of my head before starting the truck.
“For you.” He slowly rotates his neck to look at me.
“I’m serious.” I try my mean face on him that always results in a damn cheeky grin.
“Legs spread wide on my bed.” He looks forward again, spreading his legs further apart while resting his hand on his crotch right over his magic wand. “Me slowly bending over, my nose running over you, and then tasting you, Molly. I could dine for days.”
I’m pretty sure I’m panting while listening to him. Hell, I may even feel drool running down my chin right now. He clutches his dick through his jeans until his knuckles turn white.
Who the hell needs a birthday cake when a man talks to you like that? Jesus, I think I just got the best gift of my life. I could eat a damn cow right now, but with those words you bet your ass I’ll be flying home. Hold on, Broker.
I keep my bottom lip clutched under my teeth as I fight to focus on the road as I drive home. I curse the fact that the damn rodeo is twenty minutes from my hometown and then the fact the ranch is another good fifteen minutes from town. I try to study the new Kenny Chesney song on the radio and not the throb between my legs or the fact of my birthday being missed.
“Babe.”
It’s the first word he’s spoken since his request for dinner.
“Yeah?”
“I need to stop at the bar in town.”
I slam the truck to a stop at a four stop. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“No.”
“Guy, for fucking real?”
“Chill on the fucks, babe.”
“After what you did and now this? A girl can only handle so damn much.”
I shut up before I spill about my birthday. I don’t want to add anymore guilt on Guy’s shoulders, but please, a horny girl who should be celebrating the day she slid into this Earth can only take so much.
He chuckles, grips his dick, and then sends me a smile. Those smiles are so far and few between I wouldn’t deny him anything.
“It will only take a few seconds. I need to talk to Tack about a tattoo.”
“He hangs out at the bar?”
Guy stirs in his seat. “Molly, please no more questions.”
I mimic his words back to him like a little, bratty girl because that’s just how I’m feeling. When I pull into the bar, it’s packed, and I’m not impressed. He opens his door and then looks over to me with an expecting eye.
“I’ll wait here.”
“Come with.” He holds a hand out.
“God, you’re impossible and bratty and annoying.”
He laughs again. “Please.”
“Fine. Seeing it’s national Guy Pain In The Ass day. Jesus.”
I kill the engine with irritation morphing into a full out fit. He takes my hand and I decide in this moment he will be buying me birthday shots even if he doesn’t realize it’s my actual birthday.
“This is going to cost you,” I say as we near the bar. There’s loud thumping music coming from the
bar.
“Yeah?”
“Yes, I’m pissed off at you.”
“What’s it going to cost me?” He stops and pulls me into his chest.
“Whatever I want.”
“I’d give you the world, Molly.” He cups my face in his hands letting his lips linger on mine. The bristles from his beard tickle my face.
“Let’s get the hell in here and the hell out because I need to feed you, Guy.”
“Yes, you do, baby.”
21
Guy
“The more you weigh the harder you are to kidnap. Stay Safe. Eat Tacos. Chin up, Butterball.” -Amos
I have to bite down on the inside of my cheek to keep from telling her the truth. My little cowgirl is unbelievably pissed off right now and has every right to be so. Her whole family has acted like it’s just another day on the ranch along with me. I’ve been planning this party for some time.
I knew I wanted to do something grand for her birthday, but didn’t know what. I was no way in hell going to give her a horse like that dumb fuck, Trig. I had to do something to show Molly just how much she’s done for me.
I don’t like crowds, socializing in society, or anything much beside Molly. My counselor has told me repeatedly it’s not healthy to be so obsessed with her, but she’s healing me. I see life when I look into her eyes and now it’s time to give back.
I give her hand a gentle squeeze when we walk up the rickety steps to the local bar. I managed to send a text to her mom, which consisted of one letter. We all knew Molly would be on high alert and we’d have to be on our best game. My whole eating her for dinner backfired on me in the truck because I’m still fucking hard as can be.
It took everything inside of me not to spread her across the front seat and lick her until she was screaming my name over and over again. The image of her mom, dad, and grandpa waiting on us at the bar killed that thought and softened my boner. Some.
