I looked at her evenly. I wanted to take a deep breath, but didn’t want to make it obvious that her every word struck true. I had an alcoholic, abusive father. My mother abandoned me at four. And my father, well I left him a long time ago for good reasons.
“How’d I do?”
“You’ll never know,” I smiled charismatically. I was covering up my wounds. How could or would I ever share these secretes and truths about me with someone? To a woman and expect her to look at me the same?
“You’re funny, Hayden,” she said, looking at her phone. “I’m sorry, I really have to go. I wanted to stay longer but this is important. The coffee’s on me,” she beamed as she rose. “It’s been lovely knowing you, Hayden,” she said, leaning over the table to press a kiss to my forehead. “Good luck with everything.”
She practically skipped out of the room. So that is what they consider young love? I left my coffee on the table. I felt she had ripped open a very old wound. I walked to my car feeling numb, bitter, and wounded. The time it took for me to drive to work didn’t ease the pain. My mind was blank, only flashbacks of my father beating me came back. What would a woman do if she knew of my past? How could she still find me attractive?
I sat in Gregory’s office and stared at the list that held the five women’s names on it. What stupid game was I playing? How could I possibly want to settle down with one woman? Maybe there was a good reason why I covered up and settled for being by myself all these years.
I heard the click of the front door open and close. Shortly after, Amber was at the door of Gregory’s office, staring at me.
“What’s up now?” she asked. I looked at her side on, not getting up from my slouched position. She looked at the board with the names on it and gave me an inquisitive look. “What happened?” She took the seat next to me and waited for me to speak. But I didn’t want to. My mouth felt dry.
“Did one dump you?” she asked. After a long silence, she grabbed my ear and pulled me towards her, causing me pain. “Ey, don’t ignore me, what happened?”
“Yea, I guess you could call it that,” I said, looking back at the board. Amber said from the start Jenniva was too smart for me and would pull me apart. “You were right,” I sighed. Amber had even mentioned ‘Mother issues.’ I laughed at myself. How had I been so stupid?
“What about?” she gently asked. Usually it would be a smart comment like, ‘of course I was.’ Instead, she leant her head on my shoulder. “Hayden, you know you can talk to me.” She grabbed my hand and looked up at me with a smile. “Don’t take this the wrong way. But you can talk to me.”
I smiled, and, after a few seconds, decided to open up. “Apparently I have abandonment issues from my mother leaving me when I was four, and there are obvious signs that directly link to my father’s alcoholic and abusive ways. You were right, Jenniva picked me apart,” I said with a large exhale. It felt like a weight had lifted off my chest saying it out loud, and yet, I felt like it had opened up a lot inside of me that still needed to be healed. “Basically, I guess I’m just fucked up,” I said with an insincere smile.
“Well, you know what we do to Jenniva then.” Amber jumped out of her chair and walked over to the white board. She grabbed the eraser and rubbed her name out. “Makes it easier on you; her loss anyway I say,” Amber said seriously, crossing her arms over her chest. “Now perk your ass up and become that Hayden I know and hate.”
I rolled my eyes at her.
“I’m serious Hayden, you are not the man you are because of what your dysfunctional parents did to you. If that were the case we’d all be fucked up. You are Hayden Zilch, self-made. You are a magnificent role model in the real world and as you would say, ‘damn fine.’ Honestly, it is her loss. You will figure it out and if you ever need to talk you know I am here. But I won’t work with a depressed Hayden.” She grabbed both sides of my arm chair. “You are Hayden Zilch, not the boy you remember in the past. You’re a man now Hayden, someone who is thinking about settling down and starting his own family. Don’t think about the father you used to have, but think of the father you will be. Any woman is lucky to have you; you’re not dysfunctional.”
I smiled at her. “Can I kiss you?” I asked sincerely.
“Go fuck yourself, Hayden,” Amber said, her Italian accent thickening. She stepped towards the door, a smile spreading over her lips. “But seriously, you jackass, if you need anything, you know you have the best personal assistant in the world, come and talk to me.”
“Thank you, Amber,” I said before she walked out. I looked back at the board. She was right. And everything she said felt like it sept into my exposed wounds, filling them like a bandage until next time they would open. I smiled to myself in delight. I am Hayden Zilch.
My phone buzzed in my pants pocket. A message from Brandy?
Want to make a sex tape with me?
My lips stretched back in a wicked smile. I wanted to say, what the fuck, but was turned on at the thought. Yea, fuck it. I am Hayden Zilch and maybe sometimes my cock speaks louder than my head. But my god, these women knew how to drive me insane. I looked back up at the list and saw it in a new light. Only four candidates left. I stood up and turned the board onto its other side so no one could see. I walked out of Gregory’s office with a smug expression. I was excited for what would come next. I had pleased a lot of women in my day and I was absolutely ecstatic to see where this mission would lead me.
The song ‘Mambo number five’ rang in my head and I sang the words out loud. I was on the journey to find that one woman who would scream for me every day, who would love me flaws and all, who wanted to spend the rest of her days with me, for better or worse, and maybe have a hip or two replaced.
Fuck yes; I want to make a sex tape with you.
Taste
Taming Himself: Book Two
Coming Soon
About The Author
Kia Carrington-Russell is a young author working on her first series: “The Three Immortal Blades”. Kia began writing at the age of fifteen in high school- finding that all her warped and strange dreams were giving her a fantastic new world- and since then she has never looked back.
Kia was born in a small town in Australia, moving around a lot at a young age until finding a stable town where she finished her schooling. Kia found herself enjoying and expressing herself through poetry, short stories and writing, photography, painting and drawing. All these mediums help Kia express the different world that she is so fond of.
In ‘Senior Art’ Kia focused on feminism and female empowerment; exposing through her work issues and concerns that many people would rather just “sweep under the rug”.
In one art installation, Kia made a bed out of Pokémon cards- the concept being that when she slept a new world would come to life and it was the only one she saw and constantly lived in.
Also Available
Awarded ‘The Best Fantasy Series of 2014’ and ‘Best Book Bad Guy of 2014’ by The Paranormal Bookshelf.
Possession Of My Soul: The Three Immortal Blades
Karla Gray is an ordinary young woman that is taken from her mundane life into a world of blood lust as she begins to struggle with a collegeque ability. Karla is a Shielder; an exceptional fighter born with the rare ability to project a Shield for protection. However, Shielders are not the only kind that possesses such a talent. The Shielders battle a war that has been raging for centuries against Starkorfs, who harvest humans and Shielders alike to obtain a near immortality.
Alongside the charming Lucas and selfless Paul, Karla must unravel the purpose of her curse and battle an unknown presence manipulating her thoughts; a mysterious woman who may be dormant for now, but has every intention of possessing Karla- mind, body, and soul.
Within this new reality that Karla faces the search for the Three Immortal Blades begins.
Possession Of My Heart: The Three Immortal Blades
After the great fight between Tyran and Misfeata, Karla’s body is recovering.
Misfeata has manipulated and possessed her body — now, she lies dormant. But for how long?
Paul and Karla continue to venture into the unknown. Karla is in pursuit of her parents, as well as a cure for her body in which Shielder blood now resides. She must find a cure for herself both physically and mentally as she struggles with the morals of this very different world.
As Karla tries to avoid the war, she inevitably drags Paul into dangerous circumstances. A rare Elemental Breather is after Karla and out for war, but why? Now, not only combating the Starkorfs, Karla must contend with the Elemental Breathers and her own fighting spirit.
In this time of hardship, Lucas comes back into her life. He is also targeted by the strange Elemental Breather, Taskatae, who calls herself ‘Mother.’ After his betrayal, Karla must learn to trust him again as he reminds her who she truly is now.
Can she survive the constant battles from not only the physical world but from within? For a while Misfeata is dormant; Karla must try to keep hidden her true feelings. Karla is in turmoil as she faces who may truly possess her heart.
Phantom Wolf
Sia is a Phantom Wolf. Neither dead nor alive—and rotting from the inside—she is on the edge of her curse. Once a Phantom Wolf has been created, they hunt their blood pack and slaughter all their loved ones. Except for Sia, who woke years after her death to find herself rampaging through the land on a lonely path. She continues to run from the rival pack that hunts her because she is a Phantom Wolf.
Attracted to a scent, Sia finds her old best friend, who is now a grown woman. Having once saved Keeley, Sia takes the role of protector yet again, despite Keeley’s involvement with the mysterious Alpha, Kiba, and his kin brother, Saith. An ambush separates the pack and the four of them blindly fight the new warriors that attack them: desperately needing to find out where the attacks are coming from, as Sia has vowed to protect Keeley. But at what cost?
Now being chased, Sia finds herself conflicted by the mortal and spirit world while trying to protect her kin. Sia must confront her fears, as well as the human lover who killed her many years before. It is not only survival Sia contends with, but her own façade that must be broken so that she may find peace within herself once more.
Sia
Eighteen years have now passed since the Phantom Wolf, Sia, faced her greatest challenge when she was forced to kill her lover, Kiba—the rightful heir to the throne. Sia murdered the dishonorable King Taleb for his transgressions before resting in peace among her Spirit Pack.
Saith and Keeley now rule over the Kingdom, endeavoring to restore peace and allegiance throughout the land. Their actions are clouded in secrecy so that their daughter—whom they named Sia—should remain protected and unaware. But what are they preparing for?
Sia, now almost eighteen years of age, must face her own journey to discover the mysteries her world has to offer. In order to uncover her true potential, Sia must confront her feelings for Trim. When her name is called, she sees him cringe as he remembers the love he once held for the Great Phantom Wolf before her.
Mistrust and lies decay the Kingdom’s solidarity. Sia’s curiosity is piqued by the fear that shadows all wolves: the threat of the humans. So what happens when she comes across one?
Token Huntress
The sun’s light dimmed many centuries before; now in the year of 2,341 rampant vampires now stalk their victims in a half-lit world. Humanity has been overtaken by a new society: one comprised of vampires, the supernatural beings that hunt them, and the remaining humans they fight over. The laws and rules that once bound our world have long since been lost. Now, the Hunter Guild struggle to stay one step ahead of the Vampire Council.
Esmore, Token Huntress, has exceeded all expectations at only 18 years of age. She is fearless leader to her team, and she is relentless in her pursuit of the enemy. There is only one problem: Esmore is struggling to repress the growing darkness that seduces her from within. Esmore takes another step into the darkness when she encounters a teasing, tantalizing -- utterly collegegnorable -- vampire.
The lines between right and wrong are blurred further as Esmore gives into her temptation, and her reality becomes deliciously tainted both with evil and with lust.
My Escort
Clover is personal assistant to Debra Coorman, the merciless boss of Candice fashion magazine. The bright lights of New York are dim for Clover, who is tormented by a work schedule like no other. Debra is relentless in her determination to demean Clover.
For once, Clover dares to play Debra’s games, and intends to prove her wrong at the next glittering event. With mixed emotions, Clover contacts a male escort, Damon. If his velvet voice over the phone is anything to go by, Clover knows her money will be well spent.
My Exception
It has now been nine months since Damon and Clover first found each other, and their attraction still burns just as deep. Little do they realise, however, that much is about to change in their careers, lifestyle, and relationship.
A newcomer’s eyes trail Clover’s movement. Hayden Zilch is a self-made entrepreneur and the new sports columnist for Be True magazine. He is an old friend of Clover’s from college whose eyes once set on Clover and stayed there.
They must now re-define their relationship in an ever-changing, ever-challenging environment. An adventure of love, trials, pleasure, and sexual tension pushes Damon and Clover to understand the true meaning of love and lust in the busy world of Manhattan.
Aroused (Taming Himself Book 1) Page 10
