by Alex Jace
“You’re perfect,” Sebastian whispered to him. “You’re so beautiful, so obedient. I’d never let anybody hurt you.” He took Kit from behind, each thrust against Kit’s hot, stinging ass making Kit whimper. Kit came so easily, enclosed in the curve of his master’s powerful body, safe and secure.
#
“Master?”
“Hmm?”
“What are you thinking?”
Sebastian had been staring into the smouldering coals of the hearth in the library for some time, thinking about what was probably happening at Coldbrook right now. Worse, he was thinking about what he himself had done to Kit. Because he was afraid that there was not such a difference between him and Hart.
Certainly Kit had come to his bed willingly. Kit had begged to be claimed, pleaded to be allowed to serve him. Kit had wanted him badly before Sebastian ever took his body and completed the ritual that bound them. And Sebastian had never harmed Kit; he would never even contemplate hurting him. Yet nonetheless, Sebastian had had little concern for Kit’s freedom, his independence, his future. Sebastian had only cared about getting Kit in his bed as soon as possible. And every passing day Sebastian chose to pretend this was real. Anything rather than face up to the truth that Kit was only here because he had to be.
“Master?” Kit’s brow had a worried furrow.
“It’s nothing,” Sebastian lied. “Come here, kitten.” He tugged Kit down into his lap.
Once more he tried to distract himself with Kit. It was impossible to think about anything else with a little incubus squirming in his lap wanting to be fucked. “Settle down,” Sebastian said in his sternest voice. “You’ll get what you need when I’m ready.” Kit subsided, biting his lip delightfully.
Sebastian kissed him then, and Kit melted into him with a sigh of contentment. It was the work of a single whisper to make Kit tear himself away, those glorious eyes already hazy with desire. Kit slipped to his knees and took Sebastian deep into his mouth. The little sounds Kit made as he touched himself were irresistible, they only stoked Sebastian’s need. Sebastian came in his mouth to the delicious strangled sound of ecstasy Kit made as he came. Sebastian’s fingers twined tight in his hair. And for a moment, all Sebastian could think of was that he never wanted to let go.
But after they’d both finished, all Sebastian’s fears crowded back in. He wondered if it was really fair to touch Kit knowing that Kit was unable to resist him. If Kit could say yes in any meaningful way when he was forbidden to say no. If it was even possible for Kit to ever love him.
“Have I angered you?” Kit asked in a small voice. Kit was still on his knees with his cheek against Sebastian’s thigh, extremely quiet.
“What?” Sebastian looked down at him, startled. “No, of course not. You only ever please me. You make me happy. You never anger me.”
“You don’t hug me any more,” Kit said in a low voice. “You always used to hug me.”
Sebastian swallowed hard, his throat tightening. Because the times when he had most liked to tug Kit close, to hold him, praise him and soothe him, were now the times when Sebastian could not stop thinking. And the more Sebastian’s heart turned over at Kit’s sweet obedience, the harder Sebastian fell for him, the worse Sebastian felt about what he’d done.
Sebastian stroked his beloved’s cheek. “You’ve done nothing wrong. I’d never be angry with you and not tell you why.”
“You could tell me what you’re thinking about when you go quiet,” Kit said in a sad whisper. “I’d listen.”
“It’s nothing.”
“You used to be happy when I pleased you. Now you’re always sad.”
Sebastian could not look into those pleading green eyes; he had to look away. He was so afraid that he was falling in love with Kit. And that if he loved Kit, he’d let him go.
Suddenly Sebastian wanted him badly. He needed the reassurance of being buried deep inside him, knowing he was wanted. Sebastian stripped him down, got him naked and defenceless, licked and tasted him all over before sliding into his tight body. Sebastian took him slowly, coaxing him through his pleasure. Kit whimpered and clawed at him and begged Sebastian not to stop. Sebastian drew on Kit’s strange, innate power, making Kit glow with warm shimmering gold, like firelight. It made Kit even more beautiful to him.
The surge of emotion Sebastian felt as he came inside Kit’s clenching body took his breath away. It was too intense.
Sebastian buried his face in Kit’s shoulder afterward and just held him tight. Because he couldn’t deny it a single second longer even to himself. He was totally, undeniably, one hundred percent in love with Kit.
#
In the end, Sebastian left his kitten fast asleep in the rumpled covers of their warm bed, dressed and headed out.
The stars wheeled above him as he slipped through the silent night. He was perfectly calm now that he had made his decision; he could not live with himself until he did this. He passed into the heart of Coldbrook, accompanied by the silver murmur of its namesake river, and invited himself into Hart’s house by the simple expedient of kicking in the front door.
For a sorcerer, an incubus was a source of power. Sebastian believed in providing for a rainy day, so for the last few months, every time he took Kit to bed, he’d drawn fresh power from him and stored it. Which was how Sebastian effortlessly crushed the extremely surprised Hart.
“What the hell are you doing?” Hart sputtered as his power failed him.
“What I should have done months ago. You’re done here.”
“You don’t—”
It felt good to hit him. Sebastian really put his shoulder into it. The force of the blow staggered Hart back; he touched his mouth and stared unbelieving at the blood on his fingertips.
Having seen Ari’s bruises, Sebastian had no sympathy whatsoever. “Not as much fun when you’re the one on the receiving end, is it?” Sebastian shook out his stinging hand. “Nothing personal, but while I’d normally just throw you out of the country, I can’t leave Ari at your mercy. So I’m going to have to kill you.” Sebastian smiled, slow and cold. “Shame.”
“Wait!” Hart took a sharp step back with his hands up to ward Sebastian off. “I could free him.”
“How? The bond is unbreakable.”
“For them, yes. They were meant to be enslaved. Not for us sorcerers. It’s as simple as letting them go. Like throwing out yesterday’s scraps.”
Sebastian’s hands flexed with the rising urge to kill, but Sebastian pushed it down. He was not in the business of vengeance. This was simply about solving a problem. “You never come back here. Ever. If I see you within a hundred miles of Summerhall I will kill you.”
“You’re really very tetchy,” Hart said.
Sebastian threw him out of Coldbrook without another word. If they were lucky Hart might fall into a river in the dark and drown.
The little house with the tiled roof stood silent around Sebastian after its master had gone. The floorboards creaked protest beneath Sebastian’s steps. Sebastian searched the house systematically from bottom to top, checking every shadow where a scared person might possibly hide, until Sebastian finally found the incubus hiding at the foot of a rumpled bed.
Ari sat with his knees drawn up and his arms wrapped tight around himself. Scrunched up, he looked so small. His face was still bruised and there were fresh finger marks on his arms. He watched Sebastian mutely from behind his knees, his eyes a luminous gold that glowed in the dark, beautiful and inhuman.
It took Sebastian a moment to realise that Ari must have been made to sleep on the floor. Sebastian’s heart turned over. It could so easily have been Kit. There would be nothing more heartbreaking for Kit than to be rejected by the one person he most wanted to please. It was needlessly cruel.
Ari flinched when Sebastian’s shadow fell across him, so Sebastian did not come any closer. Sebastian went down on one knee, making himself less threatening.
“You’re safe,” Sebastian told him in a low voice, the
way he would soothe a frightened kitten. “It’s all right. I’ve got you now. You’re safe.”
It took him a long time to coax Ari out of his hiding place, but Sebastian did not mind. He just kept his voice gentle and his hands down. And when Ari finally crept out, Sebastian thought only of his beloved.
#
“I have a question,” said Kit, his voice trembling only slightly.
They were both staring at the sight before them: an incubus asleep in the depths of a four-poster bed. Ari slept restlessly, curled around a pillow, the duvet clutched around him like it could protect him. He kept biting his lip in his sleep, his brow furrowed. Kit wanted to smooth out those lines of pain and stress with his fingers. Make everything better.
“Just one question?” Sebastian leaned against the door frame, his expression in shadow. His arms were folded across his chest.
One that mattered most. “Why did you go back for him?”
“I kept thinking of you.” Sebastian did not take his eyes off the sleeping incubus. “I pictured you hurt like this. Scared like this. So I had to protect him.”
Kit swallowed hard. “What will you do with him? Now that you’ve freed him?” Kit could not imagine being freed; it must be like dying. Losing the centre of his world, the light in his life. Even if his master was cruel, being freed would be as much punishment as relief.
“Protect him.” Sebastian made it sound so simple. “I think my friend Dane would like him, but it’s early days. He can stay here and heal. You can make friends with him. You’d like that.”
“You don’t want him for your own?” Kit was not sure whether to be jealous. Kit could only have one master, but there was no rule saying that Sebastian could only have one incubus.
Sebastian finally lifted his eyes to Kit. Kit was struck again by that fierce blue. “Ever since I met you,” Sebastian said, “I’ve only wanted you.”
Oh. Kit hadn’t realised. Kit could not help smiling.
“Come with me.” Sebastian stepped away, and Kit went to his side immediately. He belonged in his master’s shadow.
They walked through the echoing silence of the house, crossed the moonlight that spilled in through silvered windows, and finally came out into the sweet-scented gardens outside. Kit turned toward his master then, following that deep urge to always be focused on him. Nothing else mattered in the world.
Sebastian looked different in the moonlight, at once beautiful and remote, his face carved from ivory. Kit wanted to trace his beloved face with his fingertips, breathe in his scent.
“I freed him,” Sebastian said. “I could do the same for you.”
“What?” Kit took a step back so fast he stumbled. “What?”
“I could free you. For good.” Sebastian dropped each word like a bomb.
The distance between them was at once too much and not enough. Kit could not hear anything but the ringing in his ears. He seemed to be made of ice, hollow inside; one tap would crack him completely. “You want to unbind me?”
“If I did, would you be happier?”
“Happier?” The ringing was so huge now that it drowned out thought.
“Yes,” Sebastian said, not looking at him. “You might like to be free.”
Kit just stared at him. Then he stepped up to Sebastian and shoved him. Hard. With both hands.
It was like shoving a wall; Sebastian never blinked. “Kitten—”
“No! No, I don’t want to be freed. Of course not. How can you even ask that? Why would I ever want that?”
“That’s—”
“I said no!” Kit raised his voice louder to get this through his master’s thick skull. “No. Absolutely, emphatically no. Don’t even think about it.”
Sebastian was beginning to look very strained. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Kit nearly shouted. “For not listening to a word I say?”
“Sorry that I can’t take your word for it. You’re saying this because you’re compelled to. Because you were forced to love me.”
“I’m saying that because I’m not an idiot!” Kit’s voice cracked into despair. “I’m saying that because I love you. Because waking up with you makes every day brighter for me. Because when you hug me you make everything better. I don’t care whether you think it’s real. I only care about you.”
“And I only care about you. That’s why I have to do this.” Sebastian seemed heartbreakingly determined to ruin Kit’s life.
It hit Kit with a stab that maybe this wasn’t about what Kit wanted at all. Maybe Sebastian just didn’t want him any more. The sudden fear shook Kit to his foundations. Sebastian had promised to keep him forever; Kit had put his entire faith in him. But Kit’s feelings were permanent, while Sebastian might lose interest as promptly as he had found it.
“What did I do?” There was a betraying waver in Kit’s voice. “I thought you liked me. I thought you wanted me. I thought I was making you happy.” Kit had served Sebastian’s every pleasure willingly, had allowed Sebastian to do all kinds of scary, exciting, delightful things to him, had told Sebastian that he loved him. Wasn’t that enough?
“Kit—”
“Whatever I did, I can fix it. I can do better, I can do whatever you want. Anything.” Just as long as Sebastian didn’t rip his heart out and leave him bleeding.
“Kit!” Sebastian rarely raised his voice, but he did so now. Kit jumped.
“I’m sorry,” Kit said in great terror that he had done something else wrong. “I’m sorry, I won’t do it again, I won’t do anything, if you just—”
Sebastian actually covered his mouth with his hand. Kit stared up at him, silent. He was so in love with this man that it was physically painful; it squeezed his heart.
“Please listen,” Sebastian said, leaving one finger against his lips. “This time.”
Kit did not dare speak. He could only hold his breath.
Sebastian took his face in both hands then, holding his eyes. Kit could not even think with those blue eyes on his. “Kit, when I first met you, I thought of you as a thing. Just a prize to be claimed. I took you for my own and I chained you to me so you could never say no to me again. Now I wake up every day knowing that you couldn’t love me freely even if you wanted to, because I keep you in these chains. And it’s not enough for me any more. I can’t live like this. It’s over.”
Kit could feel all the ice cracking. It’s over. Those were the last words he had ever imagined Sebastian would say. “Please don’t send me away,” Kit whispered, but he could see that his master’s mind was made up.
“You’re still not listening.” Sebastian kept holding his eyes, a look so intimate it was terrifying. “I love you.” Again, three words Kit had never imagined Sebastian would say. “I’ve never loved anybody before. I didn’t recognise it at first. It sneaked up on me when I wasn’t looking, the way you sneak into my arms so I can hug you. I see it now. I’m in love with you and I can’t trap you any more. I want you to be my partner, not my servant. I want you to choose me. Freely, willingly.” Sebastian couldn’t seem to stop touching him, as though memorising Kit’s face with his fingertips. “So I set you free.”
Kit felt the bond between them break.
His world wrenched apart, a physical pull at his heart, forcing the air from his lungs as his heartbeat stuttered into nothing. Then the world settled into a shape at once strange and familiar. Into the starlit shine of the ivy-covered roof of the house. Into the silver of the lakes glimpsed between the trees. Into Sebastian watching him with his fears written all over his face.
Kit could not breathe, the change in him had been so deep. He felt like he had been rewritten in a different language. He did not know if that language had words like love and obey.
“Kitten?”
Silence.
“Kitten?”
Silence.
“Please say something.”
And Kit could finally drag in a breath. He pressed a hand to his chest, where a tight ache had settled inside his
ribcage. It took him a wondering moment to realise what was so strange.
He did not feel different. At all. His love for his master was as deep and fierce and strong as always. He still wanted to please, wanted to obey. He still craved his master’s protective touch.
A wave of relief crashed over him and swept him giddily along. Everything was going to be fine.
Kit threw himself at Sebastian with such abandon that he tumbled them both into the grass. Sebastian caught him, of course. He was spectacular in the starlight, so handsome it hurt. Kit got a firm grip on Sebastian’s shirt, so that Sebastian could not escape him this time, and kissed him soundly. “You’re mine,” Kit told him between kisses as Sebastian touched him wonderingly, as if he had not dared imagine that Kit would choose him freely. “I want to stay, I want to stay. Please keep me.”
“I told you months ago,” Sebastian said against his mouth, “that if you let me keep you, I would never let you go.” He dragged Kit down into another kiss, breaking from him only to whisper, “And I never will.”
*
Alex Jace is a UK erotic romance writer.
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Incubus
#1—TRAPPED
#2—TEMPTED
#3—ESCAPED
#4—CLAIMED
#5—SHARED
#6—TAKEN
#7—FREED
Falling
#1—LOSS OF CONTROL
#2—EDGE OF DANGER
#3—FEAR OF FALLING
#4—MOMENT OF TRUTH
#5—LEAP OF FAITH
#6—LIGHT OF DAWN
#7—DEPTH OF FEELING
#8—PROOF OF POSSESSION
