I felt an unexpected thrill at the idea of making out with Cooper again and shot Bailey a glower for putting the thought in my head. “It’s not a date, Bailey.”
Cooper smirked and gently guided me out the door.
We walked quickly down the porch, hurrying (well, I was) to get away from her.
“Sure thing!” she called, following us out. “But just in case, Cooper, don’t feel her up anywhere near Old Patty’s Psychic Tent . . . for an apparent free spirit she sure is a prude!”
“Is Old Patty still alive?” Cooper called back, completely oblivious to the fact that I was flushing at the thought of his big hands touching me, and plotting a thousand ways to kill Bailey without getting caught.
“She’s been alive since my ancestors founded this place.”
Cooper just grunted at the joke and opened the garden gate for me.
“Have fun on your date!” Bailey shouted. Really loudly.
“It’s not a date,” I snapped back, ignoring Cooper’s laughter.
“Right,” she said as she turned to go back into the inn.
“Are you sure she’s thirty-three?” I said as we walked down the boardwalk.
Cooper shook his head. “Bailey Hartwell hit eighteen and decided she was done growing up.”
I laughed lightly and we walked on in silence for a little bit.
“Wouldn’t have her any other way, though,” he suddenly said.
I liked that.
A lot.
“Me neither.”
We shared a warm look, one that put far too much heat in my blood, and then we continued on in silence.
I felt guilty for enjoying the idea of Bailey’s suggestive comments. Andrew had texted me, something that was supposed to be sexy, and I guess from the right person probably would be, but I’d felt embarrassed by it—embarrassed and guilty—and I hadn’t texted him in return. I should not have been having hot thoughts about another man when I couldn’t even text my current friend with benefits back.
Plus—I glanced surreptitiously up at Cooper—I couldn’t let myself get carried away here. The reason this was not a date was because Cooper was all wrong for me.
There was no forgetting the way he’d reacted to the apology in Sarah’s letters.
That reaction was still there, still bothering me, despite Bailey’s explanation.
And yet . . . this . . . right then with him . . . oh, this was nice.
As on the morning we’d met, we walked to the fun park in silence and it was good. There was no awkwardness, no feeling like we needed to fill the quiet with mundane conversation. It was easy and it felt great.
Despite our hot interlude the other night, there was peace in walking with Cooper Lawson.
The truth was, my feelings for him (and despite all my misgivings I had to admit I did have feelings for him) were only compounded by how strangely detached I was beginning to feel about my life back in Wilmington. There was so much warmth in Hartwell. So much warmth directed at me.
I felt connected here.
And in all honesty I selfishly didn’t want to talk to anyone back in Wilmington for fear of breaking whatever spell I seemed to be under in Hartwell.
That meant I didn’t want to text Andrew back.
For that reason and another.
That being . . . that the only thing that would make walking beside Cooper better was if he were holding my hand.
Damn.
I really was all tangled up inside.
Of course I’d seen the big roller coaster and other rides towering up behind the boardwalk, but I hadn’t actually gone near the park yet. The gates were old-fashioned and had a huge arch over them with Ocean Blue Fun Park painted on it. Ticket booths were set up on either side of the gates. Beyond the gates we could hear laughter and screams, announcing the place was already busy. The season had kicked in, so that wasn’t a surprise. The smells of vendor food, like hot dogs and burgers and the sweet thickness of candy floss, were stronger here than on the boardwalk because the sea air wasn’t so dominant this far back from the boards.
I had to admit I was a little excited.
“Hey, Mr. Lawson,” the young girl at the ticket booth said as we approached. She was a pretty, fresh-faced blonde who looked like she was still in high school.
“Hey, Angela. How’s your mom doing?”
“She’s real good, thanks.” She beamed at him and I’m not sure I didn’t see a little hero worship there. “She was so grateful you fixed her car.”
“My pleasure.” He shrugged. “Two adults.” He slipped money to her before I could protest.
Her eyes flicked to me and I saw the speculation. She gave him the tickets, passed him change, and wished him a good day without looking at me again.
Huh.
“Are you a mechanic, too?” I said as we walked into the park.
“I was until I was twenty-one and old enough to work at the bar.”
“Is she a neighbor?”
“Who, Angela? Nah, she’s my sister’s best friend’s kid. Her dad walked out about a year ago, leaving them in a tough place. Last thing they needed was garage bills so I helped out.”
Now I got the hero worship.
“That was nice of you.”
Considerate.
Thoughtful.
Damn.
He didn’t respond.
“Also nice was buying my ticket, but since you bought the tickets, I’m paying for food.”
“Okay.”
“What? No argument?” Andrew always argued about paying for stuff. We didn’t go out a lot, but there were times we had to grab food or order takeout and he always threw a fit if I tried to pay. I let him win for an easy life, but it irritated me.
Cooper stopped in the middle of the walkway. “I don’t need to shoulder all the financial responsibilities of our day together to feel like a man, Doc. I buy tickets, you buy the food, seems like a fair trade. I like that you offered. Hasn’t happened to me a lot.”
God, did he have to be so frickin’ perfect! I smirked so he couldn’t see that such an innocent comment somehow had the power to give me the dirty kind of tingles. “Well, I can’t be the first woman to offer to pay on a . . .” I trailed off, having almost used the d word.
His blue eyes brightened with humor, but he graciously let my slip pass. “Believe it or not, you are the first.”
“Your wife never paid?” I blurted out before considering he might not like talking about her.
“Ex-wife,” he said. “And I’m pretty sure Dana thought a purse was purely an accessory.”
I marveled at the lack of bitterness in his voice but decided to move us off the subject anyway in case he was hiding the bitter.
“So.” I stopped and gaze around us. “What ride do you recommend first?”
“I think we should dive right in.” He pointed to the big roller coaster.
My stomach flipped as I stared up at it.
Suddenly Cooper was blocking my view of it and I looked up to find him frowning down at me. “We don’t have to go on it if you’re scared of roller coasters.”
That was nice.
He was nice.
“I’ve never actually been on one,” I said, feeling I could admit that without him asking too many questions.
Cooper looked surprised. “Never?”
“Never had the opportunity.”
He contemplated me for a second or two. “Don’t tell me life has been all work and no play?”
My smile was more than a little rueful. “You know, ever since I got here I’m starting to think that might be the case.”
At that, Cooper took my hand in his and awareness shot through me. “Well, the only way to know if you’ll like a roller coaster is to get on one.” He started to lead me to it.
Following him, my hand automatically tightened in his and he squeezed it in answer. I felt a little in a daze as he led me because I recognized what I was feeling and I couldn’t actually believe it. The last time I’d felt this aware of the opposite sex I’d been eighteen and crushing on a junior TA in my organic chemistry class at Northwestern. He’d been the first guy I’d slept with and the first guy I thought I could really fall for, but I . . . I wasn’t in a good place back then. I was just a kid and I blew it.
It was a sudden overwhelming realization that Cooper made me feel not only like a teenager again but like a teenager in danger of falling head over heels.
Cooper, completely oblivious to my inner Holy fuck moment, showed our tickets to the ride operator and we stopped to wait in line.
That was when I went back to thinking about the roller coaster.
I had serious butterflies.
For God’s sake, you’ve saved people’s lives . . . You can get on a freaking roller coaster!
“You sure you’re okay?” Cooper suddenly asked.
“Yeah. Why?”
“Because you’re cutting off the circulation to my hand.”
“Oh, God.” Mortified, I let go of it. “I’m sorry.”
He immediately took hold of it again. “We don’t have to get on it.”
“I should try,” I insisted.
He squeezed my hand, seeming to approve, and we waited in silence as I stewed on my nerves.
Finally the ride finished and customers got out, most laughing and happy, which put me at ease a little. Cooper helped me into the ride and we strapped in.
He chuckled as I triple-checked we were safely locked in tight.
When the coaster started to roll forward, bumping us a little bit, I wondered what all the fuss was about.
Then of course it picked up speed and suddenly it felt like I was flying through the air, rattling down steep hills at super speed and then roaring back upward and looping around and down again and up, ever faster, faster, the sea flashing into view, then the town, then the sky, then the sea again, faster, faster, faster . . .
I was air.
I was free.
I was exhilarated.
By the time the ride came to a stop my cheeks were hurting I was grinning so hard.
Cooper laughed as he helped me out of the car. “I take it you liked that.”
“It was wonderful.” I couldn’t stop grinning.
He chuckled again and took my hand, leading me away.
“Can we do it again?”
“Yeah.” His voice shook with amusement. “Let’s try some other stuff, though. I’m getting the feeling you’ve never been to a fun park.”
“You would be correct.”
Next up he took me to the shooting range, the one Jessica said was a fix.
Since Cooper won me a bear the first go, I was thinking she was wrong.
“Pick what you want,” the bored teenager behind the range said when Cooper told me the prize was mine.
I stared in wonder at all the soft toys. I was well past the age of wanting a soft toy, but I loved spoiling Perry, so I’d send it to her.
That was when I spotted the perfect bear. “That one.”
The bored teenager handed me the purple bear.
Cooper raised an eyebrow, warmth in his eyes.
I laughed. “It’s for my goddaughter, Perry. She loves purple.”
“I see.”
“Thank you,” I said, hugging the bear close. “I will be sure to tell her that a gallant knight won it for me to give to her.”
He snorted. “Glad you’re keeping it real with her, Doc.”
I laughed, not even bothering to pretend to put up a fight when he took my hand again.
This certainly felt like a date, and I was suddenly reminded by his warning the other night, This isn’t over, Doc.
It was wrong and confusing for me that I was so turned on and thrilled by the idea that this sexy man might be pursuing me. I pushed the thoughts out, preferring to bury my head in the sand so I could just enjoy my time with him.
I insisted on buying Cooper an ice cream and I was glad to see he had meant it earlier. He let me pay. We strolled through the park with our cones, the sun growing stronger as the morning wore closer to noon.
“You know, I would never have pegged you as a fun-park kind of guy.”
He was quiet so long I wondered if I’d inadvertently offended him, which seemed strange since Cooper didn’t strike me as the easily offended type.
A few seconds later I was relieved to see my impression had been right when he said, “I have a lot of good memories from here. Spent a lot of time here as a kid. The last time I was here I was about twenty-four.”
“Why did you want to come here today?”
“For you,” he said, completely serious. “I can only imagine what your life is like, Doc—the kind of responsibility you bear every day. Working in a prison infirmary can’t be easy on top of that. I’m sure you’ve seen a lot of bad shit in your time. I wanted to take you away from all that for a few hours.”
“Thank you,” I said, the words soft with too much emotion. “I really appreciate it.”
Too much. Much too much.
I wanted to kiss the thoughtful bastard.
“Why medicine?”
I was drawn from my inner turmoil at the abrupt question. “Why did I become a doctor?”
He nodded.
Some of that warmth I’d been feeling shriveled up at the thought of telling him the biggest reason I became a doctor. But I didn’t want all the warmth to go away so I found myself needing to tell him at least a little of the truth. “I guess I wanted to make enough of a difference so that whenever I leave this world, I leave it knowing I was here. Really here. Being a doctor . . . saving someone’s life . . . knowing that that person will forever remember me . . . I know I’ve left a mark. The kind I can be proud of.”
I felt his gaze on my face and looked up at him. The look he gave me made me want to jump him. “Good reason, Doc.”
I smiled because he had this wonderful habit of making me feel great about myself without even trying. I looked away before he could read in my eyes what I was feeling. “What about you? Are you happy with Cooper’s?”
“It’s a simple life—not a noble cause—but I’m good with it.”
I caught on his words “not a noble cause” and found myself wanting to reassure him that I didn’t believe everyone needed to have a noble cause to have a good life or to be a good person. “Since I was eighteen years old I’ve been surrounded by hungry ambition. Because of that I couldn’t see any other way for the longest time. Being a surgical resident only made it worse because it’s a way of life. And yet . . . not even two weeks here and I’m questioning some of those people that I’ve worked with and I wonder if they are as content with their lives as you and Bailey seem to be with yours. Honestly, it makes me a little envious.”
Cooper drew to a halt and turned to face me. He licked his ice cream as he studied me and I studied him licking his ice cream . . . naughty, naughty thoughts entering my mind and heating my blood.
I could feel the heat in my cheeks and hoped to God he couldn’t see it.
I wrenched my gaze from his mouth to his eyes and found that thankfully he was too busy with his own thoughts to recognize mine had taken a wander down “dirty sexy alley.”
“You’re not happy.”
I frowned at his words. “I’m having a great time,” I insisted truthfully.
Cooper’s eyes warmed. “Glad to hear that, Doc, but I’m not talking about now. I’m talking about in general.”
Uncomfortable with his observation, I turned away and started walking toward the pendulum ride.
“Jess?”
It was the first time he’d ever said my actu
al name instead of “Doc.” For some weird reason that made me feel guilty about ignoring his probing comment. “I don’t know,” I suddenly said, an overwhelming melancholy settling upon me. “I don’t know.”
And I didn’t anymore.
He was looking at me again. Really looking. Before I could start squirming at the thought of being psychoanalyzed and questioned more, he said, “This is a shit ride, Doc”—he nodded to the pendulum ride—“let’s try Wipeout next.”
I smiled gratefully.
“I should warn you, us being here together for dinner, there will be speculation,” Cooper murmured in my ear as Iris led us to a booth in the back of Antonio’s.
By the way Iris grinned at us and said, “Well, well, well,” as we wandered in together I was already getting that. I gave him a look to tell him so and I saw the humor in his eyes.
“Here you go,” Iris said as she laid down our menus.
We slid into opposite sides of the booth and looked up at her. She was grinning at us. Her eyes landed on Cooper. “Moving on and moving up, son.”
Cooper didn’t say anything to correct her. I didn’t say anything to correct her because what she said was so nice I was internally aww-ing too much to do so.
“Drinks?”
“Water,” Cooper said.
“Same.”
“Okay. I’ll be back to get your orders in a bit.”
Cooper recommended the Italian hot dog so that was what we got.
“They should name this ‘Dogs Go to Heaven,’” I moaned after swallowing a mouthful of deliciousness.
Cooper shook with laughter as he ate. He swallowed and said, “Ira will love that. You should suggest it for real.”
I chuckled. “Will do. Once I eat this mother-effing goodness.”
“Mother-effing?” He grinned.
I shrugged. “It would be inappropriate to use the actual word in a family place.”
He shook with more laughter as he chewed and I felt a rush of something warm and fuzzy go through me. I liked making him laugh.
“So did you enjoy returning to the fun park?” I said.
“Yeah.” He wiped his mouth with his napkin and sat back against the booth, looking content in a way a person does when he’s just eaten really good food. “Because I was with you. It loses something, though, when you get older.”
The One Real Thing (Hart's Boardwalk) Page 13
