by Devney Perry
I shouldn’t have gotten jealous. Who cared if he was talking to a pretty young woman? I mean, all I wanted was friendship. Yeah, right. As it was, I now had another item to tack onto my two-page list of apologies for Silas.
I was determined to get through that list, but before I dove headfirst into the apologies, I needed more time to compose myself. I wasn’t ready to see him yet, not until I’d taken a week or two and settled into Prescott life. I might actually stand a chance at keeping my attitude in check if my life wasn’t in such a state of turmoil.
Maybe I’d get lucky and wouldn’t see him tonight.
Wishful thinking. Silas was definitely going to be here. Karma was a bitch and she wasn’t a Felicity fan.
When Jess shut off the SUV, my stomach dipped. Swallowing hard, I took a few soothing breaths while I waited for Gigi to climb out ahead of me.
You can do this. Show the town, show Silas, that you’ve changed. I would be cheerful, the smile on my face permanent. I’d laugh at any and all jokes. I wouldn’t give the town gossips any further ammunition to hold against me. And if—when—we ran into Silas, I would be pleasant.
Affirmations complete, I scooted out of the Suburban and joined my family on the sidewalk. With Roe leading the way, we set off to watch her fill her pillowcase with candy.
“Happy to be home?” Jess asked.
“Yeah. I’ll be glad when my stuff gets here next week and I can move into my rental.”
“You sure you don’t want to stay at the farmhouse?”
“I’m sure, but thanks for the offer. I like the motel and it’s only for a week. I’ve got plenty of space to work from my room. Besides, you guys have enough going on without me crowding in.”
I looked at Ben, who was perched in Jess’s arms, and smiled at his costume. Tonight, he was dressed up as a tiger, whiskers and all. How Gigi had managed to keep him still for the face paint I had no clue. Reaching out, I adjusted an ear on Ben’s costume that had turned sideways. He leaned away and shied further into his dad’s chest. Ben still wasn’t overly comfortable with me, but in time I hoped we’d grow on each other.
While Rowen looked like Gigi, Ben was a mini-Jess. The kid wasn’t quite one year old, but it was obvious that he had inherited my brother’s strong and broad frame. Jess, Ben and I all shared the same ice-blue eyes. Mom’s eyes.
“How’s Mom doing?” Ahead of us, she was helping Rowen open a mini Snickers bar.
“Good. Happy. She had an episode a few months ago but nothing since.”
Our mom, Noelle, was a loving woman but had some mental disabilities. Nothing too serious but enough that when Dad had left it had forced a six- and an eight-year-old kid to grow up really fast. We’d learned to cook and clean, how to shop for groceries and pay bills, what neighbors to call when we needed a ride to the hospital after Mom had an accident.
And for the last sixteen years, Jess had been taking care of her on his own.
“I’m sorry, Jess.” This wasn’t the best place to start making apologies, but I had to begin somewhere and I wanted my brother to be the first.
“Sorry for what?”
“For leaving you to deal with all her troubles all these years. For selfishly staying away for as long as I did. God, I didn’t even do a good job at making regular phone calls. I dumped all that responsibility on you and that wasn’t fair.”
“She’s my mom too.”
“I know, but that doesn’t make it right. I wouldn’t blame you if you resented me for abandoning you guys. I’m a horrible daughter and a rotten sister.”
He chuckled. “Dramatic much? You’re not a horrible daughter and sister, Lissy.”
“Yes, I am. I should have done more to help, but now that I’m back, I promise to make it up to you.”
“Helping others is kind of my thing. Did you forget that I’m a cop?”
“But—”
“Hey,” he interrupted, shifting Ben and wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “You don’t need to feel guilty. Okay? I didn’t mind.”
I sighed. “Okay.” The guilt was still there but I wouldn’t win an argument. I’d just show him I was dedicated to helping out.
“Though, if you’re hell-bent on balancing the scales, you can start taking over my assignments on Georgia’s chore wheel.”
I elbowed his side. “Jess, I’m being serious.”
“So am I. I fucking hate Toilet Tuesday.”
“You’re making this apology too easy.” Making amends was supposed to be hard.
“There’s no apology to make, Lissy. Just glad you’re home.” He squeezed my shoulder again and then tugged on my hair, something he had done all throughout my childhood.
In return, I poked a knuckle into his ribs. He jerked and scooted away. “Does Gigi know how incredibly ticklish you are?” I asked. “Maybe I should let her know, just in case. Let’s see, if I recall, you never liked it when I pinched the back of your neck.”
At my threat, his eyes narrowed. “Don’t even think about it.”
“I’m immune to that glare, Sheriff Cleary. You might be able to intimidate everyone else in this county, but not me. Put the scowl away.”
“Might have to take back my earlier statement. I’m not so sure I like having you back,” he joked. “Especially if you’re going to team up against me with Georgia. Got enough trouble keeping up with her and Maisy. You’d think I wouldn’t be surprised by now, but fuck, some of the shit they come up with . . .” he trailed off, shaking his head.
At the mention of Maisy, my smile fell. It wasn’t that I didn’t like Maisy. I didn’t know her well enough to judge. She had been quite a bit younger than me in school, and from everything that Jess and Gigi had told me, she seemed nice.
My frown stemmed from jealousy.
She made Silas smile and laugh. I made him curse and slam doors.
“What? What’s that look about?” Jess asked.
“Oh, uh, just a mild headache. I’ll be fine.” I assumed my happy face.
He frowned, well aware that I had just lied, but dropped his interrogation when a harried father chasing Captain America and Thor came running between us.
“Look how cute they are,” Mom said, stepping to my side. Her eyes were bright and shining as she watched her grandchildren.
I looped my arm through hers. “They sure are. How are you doing, Mom?”
My mother had always been a small woman but now she felt frail and much too thin. I was going to make it a point to prepare her meals four or five times a week. Between my efforts and Gigi’s frequent dinner invites, maybe she wouldn’t need to cook for herself anymore.
“I’m so glad you’re home,” she said. “It’s been a long time.” Her voice was never loud, and long ago, I’d trained my ears to block out all other sound so I could hear her whisper.
I nodded. “Too long.”
“Oh, look! Jack and Annie!”
My anxiety skyrocketed and my feet did a stutter-step on the sidewalk. Jack and Annie Drummond. Wes’s parents. I hadn’t seen or talked to them since Wes’s funeral. At one point, they’d been like parents to me—in-laws, really—but my relationship with them had ended when I’d disappeared to Seattle.
I had no idea what Wes had told them about me over the years. They had been affectionate at Wes’s funeral but their hearts had been cloaked in grief. Now that things had settled, would they hate me for how I had treated their son? Did they know that I’d betrayed him? Did they know I was to blame for his drug habit?
I jumped when Rowen’s hand slipped into mine. Before I could object, her little body was dragging me down the sidewalk, away from Mom and straight toward the Drummonds. “Come meet my best friend, Mason,” she ordered. Standing between Jack and Annie was a cute, brown-haired boy dressed as a farmer. “Mason, this is my Aunt Lissy.”
“Um, hi, Mason.” I gave him an awkward wave then lifted my eyes. “Hi, Annie. Jack.” I tensed, hoping to get a hello but expecting the cold shoulder.
In a flash
, Jack’s long arms wrapped around my back and he squished me against his chest. One second later, Annie’s short frame was pressed to my side and her smaller arms slung around my waist.
“Heard you came home,” Jack said. “We were giving you until this weekend to get settled and then we were invading.”
I smiled and relaxed against his soft fleece jacket. “Invade away.”
We stood motionless on the sidewalk for a few moments while I soaked up their affection like a sponge. With one last squeeze, Jack and Annie let me go.
“You’re coming to dinner,” Annie declared. “I’ll make your favorite.”
“I’d really like that.”
“Can I go with Rowen?” Mason asked. At Jack’s nod, Mason took off after my niece to collect more candy.
“Are you both well?” I asked.
“We’re great,” Jack said, pulling Annie into his side. “We adopted Mason last year. He’s keeping us on our toes.”
That was unexpected. My eyes widened and Annie smiled. “We’ll give you all the details at dinner.”
I nodded. “Sounds like we’ll have a lot to talk about.”
“Oh, boy do we ever,” she said. “Give me a call when you’re ready.”
“Okay.” I waved good-bye as they went to collect Mason, glad that reunion had gone so smoothly. Eventually, we’d have to have a conversation about Wes, but for now, I was relieved we’d just kept things light.
Rejoining my family, I followed Jess and Gigi as they attempted to keep up with Rowen. After an hour of meandering down the sidewalk, my niece was overloaded with candy and we were making our way back toward the SUV.
I made it. I had survived the evening and there had been no sign of Silas. Maybe Karma was warming up to me after all. “This was actually really fun,” I told Gigi honestly.
“I love Halloween.” She smiled. “And I told you not to worry.”
I smiled back. “I’m glad you were right.” Everyone tonight had been welcoming and friendly. I hadn’t heard any hushed whispers or caught any strange stares. Maybe I had been too hard on Prescott’s residents and hadn’t given them enough credit.
Then again, maybe not.
I hadn’t run into anyone that I’d gone to school with. Who knew what would happen when I saw those familiar faces? I was holding out hope that most of my classmates had forgotten my juvenile transgressions—that, or moved away.
“Oh, there’s Maisy.” Gigi waved to her friend.
My feet came to an abrupt halt as I scanned the surrounding faces. Maisy was weaving through the crowd, her bobbed hair looking almost white underneath her black beanie.
“Hi!” she said to Gigi with a hug. Her blue doe eyes landed on me for a split second before darting away to find anyone else. “Roe! I love your costume,” she said, bending at the waist to talk to my niece.
Rowen smiled and twirled around, her fairy wings swatting Maisy in the face.
“You’ve got weapons, Roe.” I smiled at Maisy as she stood. “Hi, Maisy.” I did my best to soften my face as I swallowed my jealousy.
She gave me a suspicious glance and muttered, “Hi, Felicity.”
Okay. She’s not a fan either. Great.
“Where’s Coby?” Gigi asked her.
Maisy looked over her shoulder and I followed her gaze. When my eyes landed on Silas carrying a brunette toddler with dark-brown eyes, the smile vanished from my lips. When Silas slid an arm around Maisy’s shoulders and pulled her into his side for a quick hug, I bit my lower lip to keep my mouth from falling open.
Were Silas and Maisy a couple?
They had to be. Why else would he have been visiting her at the motel? And it explained why he was with her tonight, carrying around her child. Why he’d said our night together had been a mistake.
Holy hell. My heart plummeted into my stomach.
After handing Coby over to Gigi, Silas shook Jess’s hand. “How are you guys tonight?” His eyes came to me briefly before he looked back at Jess and they started talking.
I tuned them out and focused all my energy on calming my racing heart. How could he do this to me? To her? He’d had sex with me two days ago.
“Felicity?” Mom asked, touching my elbow.
“What?” I snapped. Shock flashed across her face before she frowned.
I dropped my scowl. “Sorry.”
When I was upset, my first instinct was always to lash out. My default defense mechanism had always been to put up a wall of evil glares and sharp comments, but I didn’t want that to be me anymore. I was better than the habits of my past and the last thing I wanted was to be rude to my mom or my brother’s family and do something that I’d regret.
It was time to walk away.
I couldn’t stand here and pretend that everything was wonderful. I needed some space to come to terms with the fact that Silas Grant was not the man I’d thought he was. And this was not the place for me to deliver the verbal beating that he had coming for cheating on Maisy.
“I need to go,” I told Mom. “Can you just tell them I had a headache and decided to walk back to the motel?”
She studied my face for a moment, then nodded. My heeled boots spun around, carrying me away swiftly as they clipped against the sidewalk. My eyes barely registered my surroundings.
Silas was a cheater? I couldn’t believe it. He always touted his traditional values. He wore them like a badge. He wouldn’t play two women at the same time. Would he?
I had to be reading this situation wrong. Silas had always been the epitome of honorable. Had he changed that much?
Just the idea of him not being my Silas, the good and true man of my dreams, had my stomach churning. By the time I made it back to the motel, I was nauseous and had the headache I’d lied about. Resting on the bed with a cool washcloth pressed to my forehead, I knew one thing for certain.
Felicity’s Journey Home meant going down a long, hard road.
“Why are you calling me, Tyson?” I asked through gritted teeth.
“Hello to you too, love. I just wanted to see how you were doing.”
“Don’t call me ‘love.’ Don’t call me period. I told you that weeks ago.”
“Come on, Felicity. Don’t be like that. We just had a stupid fight. Isn’t it time you forgave me and we worked this out?”
I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes. This man was denser than mercury.
“We will never work it out,” I said. “You fucked your assistant while we were dating. Repeatedly. And then when I found out, you had the audacity to suggest that we invite her over for a threesome.”
“I was just trying to get you to be a little more adventuresome in bed. And I only had sex with her because you were being a bitch and—”
“Yuck.” I hung up before I had to listen to another pitiful excuse. These calls were his way of blaming me for our breakup and repairing his ego. Eventually he’d get bored and stop calling, probably when he found a new woman to pursue. Whoever she was, I felt sorry for her. Tyson had undeniable charm but no moral fiber. It had taken me the better part of six months to see through his pretty façade.
Now the thought of his face made my stomach roll. The six hundred and fifty miles between him in Seattle and me in Prescott didn’t feel like enough.
It had been four days since Halloween and I had survived my first week back in Montana. It hadn’t been easy. I had spent a considerable amount of time dwelling on all things Silas and rethinking the past. It was harder than I had expected, being home. Difficult memories kept slapping me in the face and the guilt of past mistakes followed me around like a shadow.
But there was also love here.
There was family.
After my breakup with Tyson, the first person I’d called had been Mom. I’d been so mad that she didn’t have an iPhone to FaceTime, I’d gone to buy her one. But as I’d stood in line at the Apple store, realization had dawned. Phone time wasn’t good enough anymore. Infrequent visits weren’t good enough anymore. Wha
t I’d never find in Seattle was my family.
And I wanted a family.
My dad had left his behind. I’d done the same but I still had a chance to fix my mistake. Just one week in Prescott and the bonds I’d broken were starting to regrow. It would take time, there was still a long climb ahead, but I was convinced now more than ever that leaving Seattle had been the right decision.
Grabbing my keys off the motel desk, I decided to blow off work for the afternoon and go for a drive. Refamiliarizing myself with the area was just what I needed to brush off Tyson’s call.
I pulled out of the motel parking lot and turned my black Range Rover down Main Street, enjoying the charm of my hometown. Prescott was located in southwest Montana, close to Yellowstone National Park, and a lot of the town’s commerce came from tourists. Outsiders loved the quaint feel of Prescott, so business owners took care and pride in making their window displays attractive and tasteful.
Our small town had a clothing boutique, a couple of gift shops, a moderately sized sporting goods store, a few restaurants and two bars. I’d eventually miss shopping in Seattle or the city’s vast restaurant selection, but for the time being, I was content.
It only took me three minutes to cruise down Main Street, pass the community fishing pond and cross the truss bridge over the Jamison River. Then I was free, driving through the wide-open spaces like a girl in a Dixie Chicks song.
There would be no claustrophobia for me in Montana. This time of year, Seattle was almost always cloud covered. I had lived in an expensive, yet cramped downtown apartment, and between the gray skies and tall buildings, I had often felt trapped. But here, everything was open, big and blue. Even at the beginning of November, the sun shone brightly over miles and miles of golden plains. In the distance, the indigo mountains stood tall.
The rustic scenery may have been rough for some, but for me it was soothing.
It was home.
After an hour of driving nowhere, I came back to town and swung into Maple’s for coffee.
