by Devney Perry
I was a sucker for that smile and smolder. All he had to do was snap his fingers and I’d leap over the bed and crawl into his lap.
“You’re blushing, Felicity. Are you going to lie and blame it on the shrimp again?”
I shook my head and looked to my lap, embarrassed that he could read me so easily. The room went quiet as the atmosphere got heavy. The sharp contrast from moments ago sent tingles down my spine.
He was staring at me. I could feel his heated gaze, but I kept my eyes fixed firmly on my lap. If I looked up right now, I’d never be able to resist those eyes.
After an eternity, though it was probably only a few seconds, Silas let out a loud breath and stood from his chair. “Got any sweet and sour?”
Phew. “Yeah.” I stood too, going to the TV to help him find the right carton.
We resumed our meal, thankfully without another heated moment. I had resisted once. Twice would have been impossible. After the Chinese had been decimated, I escorted Silas to the door, having learned one thing for certain tonight.
Making friends was hard to do.
Silas
“Good night,” Felicity said from the doorway.
“Thanks for dinner.” I waved and headed for my truck.
Friends. The word kept ringing in my ears. She wanted to be friends. How the fuck was I going to manage that?
One look at her stunning face and my pulse would race. My hands wanted nothing more than to grab her head and pull her lips to mine. My dick had been at half-mast since the moment she crossed the Jamison County line.
I certainly didn’t have that kind of reaction to any of my other friends.
But we also couldn’t keep taking jabs at one another. I hadn’t meant to insult her the other night but my mouth just kept fucking things up. At least she always had the balls to call me on my shit. I loved that about her. If I pushed, she pushed right back.
When Felicity was around, I came alive. Her passion sparked my own. Life wasn’t dull or predictable. The mundane seemed exciting.
I loved that she felt everything deeply, the good and the bad, even though she worked hard to hide it from the world. She was a master at pushing people away to avoid getting hurt. It came so naturally to her, most of the time I wondered if she even knew she was doing it.
But she couldn’t hide from me. I’d seen her true self too many times not to want her fixed permanently in my life. And, damn it, if she wanted to be friends, then I was going to try.
We had a lot of history to overcome and maybe this idea wasn’t all bad. Maybe this was the way for us to move past all the hurt.
I’d be her friend and then press for more.
Because now that she was back in Montana, I wasn’t letting her go. I’d play it slow and steady. Put in the time. But one day she’d be mine.
Just like she was always meant to be.
Sitting in a window booth at the Prescott Café, I was finishing my third cup of coffee and powering through a romance novel.
“Hey.”
I looked up from my iPad to see Silas’s warm brown eyes looking back. It was the first time we’d seen each other since he’d shared my Chinese food a few days ago.
He wasn’t making it easy on me, this friendship thing. Not when he looked like that on a Monday morning. His black, long-sleeve T-shirt showcased his lean frame. His jeans clung to his hipbones, and I bet if I lifted up the hem of his shirt, I’d get a peek at the muscled V that disappeared beneath his waistband.
“Hi.” I dabbed the corner of my mouth for any drool. “What are you up to?”
“Meeting Jess and Beau here for breakfast. You?”
“Just loading up on coffee and calories before the moving truck gets here in a few hours.”
The bell on the door caught my attention as Jess and Beau Holt walked into the restaurant.
I’d forgotten that Maisy’s older brother, Beau, was so big. Jess and Silas were about the same height, each with broad shoulders and strong frames. Jess carried more bulky muscle, whereas Silas was slightly leaner, and neither man would ever be considered small.
Beau Holt dwarfed them both.
He had filled out considerably since high school and now reminded me of the mountains that bordered Jamison Valley. Beau was solid and unwavering. With the addition of his thick, brown beard, he looked nothing like my former classmate.
As I slid out of my booth, my jeans squeaked against the navy vinyl. “Good morning.” I gave my brother a quick hug and then smiled up at Beau. “Hi there, stranger.”
“Heard you were back.” He grinned and bent to give me a brief kiss on the cheek. “It’s been a long time.”
“It sure has. I think you’ve doubled in size,” I teased as his wide chest shook with a deep chuckle.
“Mind if we join you?” Jess asked.
“Please do.” I gestured toward the seats as I slid back into the booth.
When Silas slid into the bench seat at my side, I realized my mistake. His thigh was pressed tightly against mine. His soothing leather scent wafted my way and I found myself taking a long, deep breath. I was completely turned on.
Letting them share my booth had been a bad decision. A very, very bad decision. Clearly one carafe of coffee was not enough for me to think rationally at this time of day. There was no way I could be squished up against Silas’s side like this for an entire meal without him noticing my quickened breaths and clenched thighs.
Sexual-tension issues aside, the booths at the café could comfortably hold four people. Four normal-sized people. Not me plus three brutes.
“Maybe we should move to a table? You two look like sardines smashed together over there.” I hoped that Jess and Beau would agree. The center of the room was filled with square tables and if we switched seats, Silas and I would at least have a corner between us.
“We’re good,” Jess said.
Damn.
Silas flagged down the waitress and we all ordered the cook’s famous breakfast hash before we started chatting. “You said your movers are getting here today?”
“Yeah. Probably around ten. I already checked out of the motel so I’ll be ready when they pull in.”
“Need any help?” Jess asked.
“Nope. This crew I hired is amazing. They pack everything up for you, haul it over and then unload it too. They’ll even set up my furniture. All I will have to do is unpack the boxes.”
“Where are—” Silas was interrupted when my phone rang on the table between us. He looked down and shoved it toward me.
My lip curled and I growled at the sight of Tyson’s name. “Sorry,” I muttered before declining the call. I really needed to change his contact picture. It was an old selfie of me kissing his cheek.
“What were you saying?” I asked Silas.
“Nothing,” he clipped. His jaw was clenched and his nostrils were flaring.
“What’s wrong with you?” Jess asked him.
“Headache. I need coffee.” He grabbed the empty carafe and stomped up to the counter.
I guess he didn’t like that picture much either. Whatever. By the time Silas returned, he seemed to have found a better mood and I was able to relax again. Well, kind of relax. His leg was still firmly touching mine.
We all visited while waiting for our food and it was nice to catch up with Beau. I learned he worked for the Forest Service and was the head of Jamison Valley’s Search and Rescue team. Conversation quieted once our food arrived and we commenced shoveling.
“Want to come over for dinner tonight?” Jess asked as the waitress cleared our emptied plates.
“Thanks, but I’ve got plans. Jack and Annie invited me over.”
“You’re good with that?” he asked. He knew how hard it would be for me to set foot on the Drummond farm.
I shrugged. “I guess we’ll find out.”
“Okay. Call if you need anything. I gotta get to the station.”
“Yeah. I’ve got to get going too,” Beau said. “Good to see you, Feli
city. Don’t be a stranger.”
I waved good-bye and waited for Silas to slide out too but he stayed firm at my side.
“Did you ever tell Jess about what happened?” he asked quietly.
I shook my head. “No. Did you?”
“You asked me not to.” He stood from the seat and pulled on his baseball hat. “You sure you don’t need any help moving?”
“I’m sure. Thanks, though.”
“Okay. Have a good one,” he said with a quick nod.
“Silas?” I called before he could go too far. “Thanks for not telling Jess. I know it wasn’t fair of me to ask you to keep those secrets, but I appreciate that you did.”
“You’re welcome.” Before he walked out the door, he tossed me a smile.
Hottest friend ever.
“Dinner was delicious. You’ve perfected the recipe,” I told Annie.
“Oh, thanks, Lissy. It’s so nice to have you back so I can make it again. Jack never has liked marsala sauce.”
“He’s more of the beer-batter type,” I joked and set another stack of dishes by the sink.
She laughed. “Isn’t that the truth?”
Besides complimenting her dinner, I didn’t know what else to say so I just stood against the kitchen counter and stayed quiet. Should I help load the dishwasher? Or wipe down the table? It never used to be this awkward at the Drummond farm, but then again, I’d had Wes by my side.
I’d carefully avoided mentioning his name all night, not wanting to dive into the past until we’d been reacquainted, but Jack and Annie had been nervous too, so we’d spent the majority of our meal discussing the weather.
“Um, Mason seems great.” I could only compare him to Rowen but he seemed like a nice enough little boy. And he had the cutest dimple.
“He’s a real joy,” Annie said as she rinsed a plate.
Glancing over my shoulder into the dining room, I made sure Annie and I were alone. “What’s his story?”
“That little boy had a rough start to his life.” She sighed, abandoning the dishes to hand me my glass of wine and lean against the counter too. “His mom got sent to prison so he was placed here in Prescott to live with his aunt. When he started school, his teacher noticed he was being neglected. No showers. No clothes. No food.”
“That’s awful. It’s a good thing the teacher was paying attention.”
“It sure is. Mason’s aunt was mixed up with a bad crowd. One thing led to another and Jess asked if we’d keep him here for a bit. After two days, Jack and I both knew we couldn’t let him go, so we got Mason’s mother to relinquish her rights and we adopted him.”
“It’s amazing that you’d take him in.” Jack and Annie weren’t old but they had been empty nesters for quite some time. Taking in a young boy was a huge sacrifice on their part.
“He’s a sweet boy. He deserves a chance and we can give him that.”
“Why is the mother in prison?”
“Prostitution. Drugs.” Her shoulders fell at the mention of drugs.
Wes had been Jack and Annie’s only child. He’d developed a meth addiction as a young man and never stopped using. Eventually he’d become the predominant meth producer in Jamison Valley and had been murdered by a rival drug dealer.
I stood awkwardly by Annie’s side, unsure of what to say, until she broke the silence. “Sometimes I feel like we’re getting a second chance. To do a better job with Mason than we did with Wes.”
“You can’t blame yourself for Wes’s choices.” The person to blame was me.
“I know you’re right but it’s hard to accept. He came here one night, about a month before he was . . .” She trailed off and didn’t finish her sentence, not that she needed to. The next word was “murdered.” “He was different that night. Reflective. He actually said that he was thinking about getting help.”
My chest squeezed painfully tight. A month before Wes had died was about the same time that he’d called and left me a message. Hearing his voice after fourteen years had caught me so off guard that I hadn’t called him back immediately. By the time I’d found the courage to do so, he’d been gone.
“That was the first time I’d ever heard him admit he had a problem,” Annie said. “I had my hopes up.”
I’d regretted not calling him, but until now, I hadn’t realized how much of a mistake I’d made by blowing him off. Maybe together with Jack and Annie, the three of us could have convinced Wes to go to rehab. Maybe he’d still be alive.
My throat started to burn and tears pricked my eyes. Damn it. All I’d had to do was pick up the phone.
Annie shook her head and turned back to the sink. “Thank you. It helps me to talk about him. Jack and I do sometimes but it’s different with you. You knew him better than anyone at one point.”
I just smiled, unsure of what else to say. I had known Wes. I knew that he hadn’t really wanted to become a farmer but had felt trapped by his parents’ expectations. I knew that he had mood swings worse than any person I’d ever met, but with me, he’d always tried his hardest to be a sweetheart. I knew the only times he’d treated me badly were when he’d been on drugs. And I knew exactly how he’d started doing those drugs in the first place.
Because of me.
“Enough of the sadness,” Annie said as she started loading the dishwasher again. “Tonight was about spending time with you. Tell me about your life.”
Before I could answer, Mason came bounding into the kitchen. “Do you want to see my room?”
“Um, sure.” Ten minutes later, I had been given an impressively thorough tour of Mason’s room.
“All right, kid,” Jack said from Mason’s doorway. “Time to take your shower and get ready for bed.”
“Yes!” Mason cheered and ran out of the room.
“He loves baths and showers,” Jack said. “I think it’s because he rarely had them before he came here. Some days he’ll ask if he can take two.”
“It’s really something, what you’re doing with him. He’s lucky to have found you.”
“I think we’re the lucky ones.” He smiled and followed Mason toward the bathroom.
After picking up the toys that Mason had taken out to show me, I wandered down the hallway of the Drummonds’ long rambler. Next to Mason’s room was the room that had been Wes’s.
I peeked inside and was relieved to see that Jack and Annie had taken down everything from Wes’s childhood. The room was now a guest bedroom. The only thing that remained was an old dresser that Wes had covered with stickers. On its top were a handful of small framed photos.
My fingers skimmed the stickers as I inspected the pictures. One was of Wes, Silas and Jess as young boys. The three of them were playing football in the snow. A couple of the other pictures were of them as teenagers. One was a photo that I’d taken when we’d all gone swimming at the Jamison River in high school.
A larger photo at the back was of me and Wes at my senior prom. He’d given me such grief about the prom because he’d been a couple years older and hadn’t wanted to go back to a high school dance. But he’d come despite his protests, looking as handsome as ever in his black suit and an emerald-green tie that had matched my one-shouldered dress. There hadn’t been much that Wes wouldn’t have done for me back then.
That was the problem, though, wasn’t it? He’d done too much for me.
The last picture on the dresser was one taken in this very room. Wes had tackled me onto his bed and tickled me. His light-brown eyes had sparkled as he’d looked down at my laughing face. A lock of his chestnut hair had fallen across his forehead.
The moment my hand picked up the frame, a lead weight settled in my stomach. The guilt and pain were so heavy that I stumbled backward until my knees hit the bed and I sank onto the mattress.
The night that picture had been taken was the night that everything had changed.
Fall, sixteen and a half years earlier . . .
“Andrea!” I shouted. “Give me back my camera.”
&nb
sp; She giggled and tossed it on the bed, running out of Wes’s bedroom.
His parents were out of town at some fall farming convention, so he’d invited a few people over to hang out and drink. A couple of my girlfriends were here, along with some guys that had graduated but hadn’t gone away to college. Like Wes and Silas, they’d stayed in Prescott to work on their parents’ farms and ranches.
“Having fun?” I asked Wes.
“Yeah. You?”
I nodded. “So I have this crazy idea. I kind of want to try something wild.”
“I like wild.” He grinned and pressed his hips further into mine.
I giggled. “Down, boy. We can do that kind of wild later. I was talking about something else. Danny brought some meth to smoke and said it was really fun. I kinda wanted to try getting high. What do you think?”
“What?” He jerked back, all of his playfulness gone. “No, Lissy. You’re not doing drugs.”
“Oh, come on. It would just be this once, just to see what it’s like.”
“It’s too dangerous, darlin’. You’re not doing it.”
“Please? You’d be with me and could make sure I was safe. It will be like the first time I got drunk. You made sure nothing bad happened and held my hair back when I got sick.” I gave him my best pout and sad-puppy-dog eyes.
“Christ. Don’t look at me like that. You know I can’t say no.”
I smiled. “So that’s a yes?”
“How about this? Let me try it first. Then I’ll know what to expect. If I think it’s safe, you can try it later. Okay?”
“You hate drugs, Wes. I don’t want you to do it just for me.”
He buried his face in my neck. “It’s just this one time. I’ve seen the guys do it before and it isn’t that big of a deal.”
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. “Okay. Deal. Let’s pinky promise that we’ll both just do it once.”
He lifted up and looped his pinky finger with mine. “Promise.”
Raising my head off the pillow, I brushed my lips to his.
