Waiting on the Sidelines

by Scott, Ginger

  23. And So

  XXX OOO

  I loved the little texts Reed would send whenever he could from football camp during the first two weeks of summer. It had only been 10 days and I was missing him like crazy. I hated how dependent I had grown on his company, and I worried a little about losing myself in him, but I couldn’t ignore the fact that I thought about him every waking moment of my day.

  Buck let me ride with him up north to Flagstaff to visit Reed on his last day of camp. When we pulled in to the practice field, I spotted Reed immediately. He was running through passing drills with a few different coaches. Watching him tuck and run from side to side, slipping tackles and staying on his feet—he was so gifted.

  The gaggle of girls who were gathered on the bleachers, gawking at my boyfriend, didn’t go unnoticed either. Despite how much I believed, truly believed, in us, I still felt pangs of jealousy over those girls with confidence that seemed to be lurking around every corner. I was satisfied when they giggled, flipping their hair, and called out to try to get Reed’s attention as he ran off the field to get water. He just gave them a passing glance and smiled, turning right back to his destination. Better yet, he didn’t know I was there witnessing it.

  “So, I hear there’s some fancy pants quarterback working out up here. Think he’ll give me an interview?” I said in my best disguised voice behind Reed at the watering station. I must have tricked him a little because he turned around a little irritated, wiping the drips of water from his chin with his arm and looking down. When he realized it was me, he tossed his cup at the recycling bin and pulled me into his arms, kissing me, sweaty workout clothes and all.

  “Oh my god, I’ve missed you,” he kissed me and swung me around. “Did you come up with Dad?”

  “Yeah, I hitch with the best,” I winked, nodding at his dad, already working the crowd of coaches at the camp. The man was all business.

  “Good, you can come to dinner with us then. We get to eat at the stadium club at the college. It’s pretty good food,” he smiled and ran back out to the field to finish up for the day. The bleacher of bimbos shot daggers at me, and I was satisfied.

  Reed was right. Dinner was amazing. The kitchen staff cooked for football players, so the cornbread muffins, carvings of meat and gravy was flowing, constantly hot and ready. It was maybe some of the best food I’d ever had.

  I sat with Reed and a few of the other quarterbacks working out at the camp. I loved listening to them ‘talk shop.’ It was also amazing to hear how much his peers respected him. It was one thing for our town to know Reed was among the best, but to hear it from the others who were just trying to sit at the table with him? That was telling.

  Reed kept his arm around me at the table and held my hand when we walked through the food lines, except when he took my tray. He kept refilling my tea for me and even made me an ice cream sundae. I could tell he missed me, and that made my heart jump for joy.

  Leaving that evening was hard, but Buck had to get back and there really wasn’t anywhere for me to spend the night, not that my parents would allow it anyhow. I kept my hand to the cheek that Reed had kissed for nearly the entire first half of the drive home. When we were immersed in the desert finally, I heard my phone chirp and pulled it out to find a text from Reed.

  It was sooooo good to see you. I’ve been surrounded by a bunch of sweaty dudes for waaaay too long ;-) I know I’m supposed to stay at my mom’s for two weeks, but maybe I could leave early?

  I snuck a text back, hoping Buck didn’t think it was rude. I caught a grin on his face, though, and I knew he approved of Reed and me.

  You can’t do that to your mom. We’ll manage. Besides, she hates me enough as it is. Don’t make her hate me more :-p

  I was only half joking. The more time had passed between my first meeting with Millie the more I realized the differences between how Buck treated me and how Reed’s mother acted towards me. She was cold, and I couldn’t deny it.

  One, she doesn’t hate you. But…you’re right. She’s been looking forward to this. I’ll be able to come see you a few times I’m sure. Maybe you can skate me a MicNic ;-) Love you!

  Love you, too!

  I tucked my phone in my bag and shut my eyes for the rest of the drive, picturing Reed surprising me at work while I skate up to his window. For the first time ever, I felt like the lucky one.

  MicNic’s was turning out to be a far better summer gig than working at the pool. And I was able to volunteer with the Boys & Girls club once a week with their adaptive program for special needs kids. I loved the work, planning activities with the kids and celebrating their accomplishments. The more I learned about this path, the more I was sure it was the direction I wanted to take in college. I liked the idea of pushing limits and telling society to shove it just because something wasn’t easy, and the kids in these programs proved that to me every single time I was with them.

  Reed let me go on and on about my first volunteer day. I felt a little bad, dominating our conversation, but he was genuinely interested. One of the counselors at the club had given me some information about the special education program at ASU and offered to give me a letter of recommendation for my application.

  Things seemed to be falling into place, only ASU was the one school that wasn’t in the mix as far as Reed was concerned. I hadn’t talked to him about it yet, but I had pulled the applications for Stanford and UofA from our guidance office and was going to fill them out just to see. I knew that those were his top choices and I couldn’t deny I had fantasies of going away to college with him.

  It had been a particularly busy day at MicNic’s when my phone buzzed with a text as I ended my shift, unlaced my skates and pulled my uniform shirt off and stuffed the apron in my little locker in the back of the restaurant.

  Knock Knock.

  That was all Reed said. I scrunched my brows a little trying to figure out his puzzle, finally guessing with:

  Who’s there?

  I waited for a few minutes for him to write something back, but he didn’t immediately. I grabbed my purse, slung it over my shoulder and got my keys ready to head out the front to my car. I was walking backwards, waving to a few of the girls working the late shift when I backed into a hard body, a familiar body. My pulse raced instantly.

  “Me,” I heard Reed’s voice whisper in my ear. I turned immediately and kissed him, keeping my eyes open to take him in and make sure he was really here.

  “Always clever, aren’t you, Reed Johnson,” I smirked, poking him in the stomach a little.

  He laughed a little and wrapped my fingers in his. “Yes, terribly clever,” he said, leading me out to the parking lot. “Hey, I’ll follow you home. Think you can get ready in a hurry? I’d like to take you to my mom’s big benefit party tonight. I saved you a step and already got the OK from your mom.”

  He just looked at me smiling, anticipating. Truth is I would have been happy to walk through a sewer just to spend time with Reed, but my anxiety was doing a summersault at the thought of having to spend my evening at one of Millie’s charity events. I would go, of course, but I would hyperventilate more than a few times before, during and after.

  “Uh, spend the night dressed up with you? Count me in,” I smiled, big and bright. Sell it, Nolan. Sell it!

  “Good, just wear something simple and comfortable,” Reed said, my mind immediately taking inventory of the few dresses in my closet that would work for this. I was pretty sure I was going to have to get creative.

  When we got to my house, I plopped Reed on the couch next to my dad so they could catch up while I showered and sorted through every possible dress in the house. Desperate, I called my mom.

  “Mom, it’s me,” I was panicky, and realized I needed to get a little perspective. “Nothing’s wrong… I just, don’t know what to wear.”

  I rolled my eyes at myself. My mom just chuckled on the other end at how girly her little Tom Boy had become. “Why don’t you wear my black dress? I know it will fit
you. You can borrow my strappy heals, too,” she seemed so hopeful.

  “Uh, you think I can walk in those?” I wasn’t so sure. Again, she just laughed it off.

  “You’ll be fine. Be careful, and make sure you have your key. We’ll be long in bed by the time you get home,” she said.

  “OK, thanks mom. Love you,” I stilled as I heard my mom take in a deep breath. She would always worry.

  “Love you, too, honey.”

  I hung up and went right to the simple black dress that was wrapped in plastic in her closet. It was a classic fit, small spaghetti straps and a tight curvy cut, ending right above my knees. I pulled it on with black tights and my mom’s strappy heals and took a few practice strides around her bedroom. I felt a little ridiculous, but when I caught my profile while passing my mom’s full-length mirror, I did a little bit of a double take.

  I seemed older, and with the shoes, I was close to Reed’s height. Picking my hair up, I decided I liked the way it looked with my shoulders bare, so I headed to my mom’s bathroom sink and pinned my hair up in a twist, letting a few pieces fall like Sarah always does. With a small bit of makeup so I didn’t have to worry about it all night, I packed a tiny purse with my key, phone and money and headed out to the living room where Reed was debating a replay on ESPN with my dad. They both stopped, mid argument, when I stood in front of them.

  “Honey, you look beautiful,” my dad said, swallowing a little and turning his head to Reed to give him a stare, or rather a threat. I loved it when my dad was fatherly.

  Reed just stood and came up to me and took my hand, kissing it. “You’re dad nailed it, you look beautiful,” his dimples deep with his big grin and his green eyes crinkled on the sides in awe. It took my breath away.

  “Thanks,” I half whispered, blushing and turning my head sideways.

  “Well, we better hit the road. I can’t go dressed in basketball shorts with you looking like that,” Reed joked.

  I kissed my dad on the cheek and followed Reed out to his Jeep and we made our way to Millie’s house.

  Reed, of course, had a complete suit at his mother’s house. In fact, he had a closetful. He put on a simple black one with skinny black pants that just made him look like one of those classic movie stars from the 50s like James Dean or Cary Grant. He had a white shirt with a thin black tie. I could eat him, he was so delicious.

  The party was at a ballroom at a big hotel in downtown Phoenix, and it had been going on for about an hour when Reed and I arrived. I was worried about being late, but Reed assured me that most people were late to these events. He also warned me about all of the rich old men with cocktails that would probably leer at me in a creepy way. I wasn’t sure I was leer-worthy, but I decided to keep my guard up nonetheless.

  When we walked in, there was faint piano music playing and a woman standing on a stage singing jazz, exactly what I pictured it would look like in my mind. There were dozens of tables around the room where everyone had left their purses and jackets, most of the people congregating around the middle of the room. This must be mingling, I thought.

  Reed squeezed my hand, sensing my unease, which shot up tenfold as soon as I realized Millie was approaching us. She was upon us quickly, and I wasn’t ready.

  “Reed, dear, I’m so glad you could come tonight,” she planted fake kisses on both sides of his cheeks, careful not to smear her lipstick. She smiled tightly and turned to me, reaching out to touch my arm and giving it a squeeze.

  “So glad you could come, too, Natalie,” I am sure my eyebrows shot up in surprise. I was about to correct her, when Reed rescued me.

  “Nolan, mom. We went over this,” he gave her a closed-lip smile, grimacing and showing his disapproval.

  “Right, right. I know we did, honey. Sorry, it’s just such an…unusual name. It doesn’t seem to stick in my mind,” she turned her fake smile to me. “We’re at the front table, there should be two seats reserved for you. Excuse me, though, I have to greet some more guests.”

  And in a blink she was gone, back to flitting about the room. This was where she and Buck were similar. They could turn it on and were both all business when they needed to be. It just seemed Millie was more business than pleasure, like 99 percent business.

  Reed and I found our seats and sat down at the table, picking at the breads stacked on plates in the center. We were both starving. We giggled each time we scarfed down a roll, laughing about how uncouth we were amid this high-end dinner crowd. I teased like I was going to put one in my purse, and Reed actually stuffed one in his jacket pocket to one up me.

  I was finally relaxing and having a good time when I caught something out of the corner of my eye that made my body jolt. I wasn’t sure I had seen things right, so I talked myself out of overacting and almost had myself convinced when I heard that familiar cackle behind me.

  “Oh my gawd, Reeeeeeeeed,” it was Tatum. “I thought you never came to these things?” She was moving right past me, walking over to touch him, reaching for his shoulder.

  Reed’s surprise was genuine as he stood and pushed his hands in his pockets, quickly closing himself off to her. “Tatum, what the hell are you doing here?” he accused.

  “Oh, I’m on the Sigma charity board. We’re one of the scholarship recipients tonight, silly,” she was acting like nothing had ever happened. And I was invisible. “I wish I was at your table, I’m so far away, over there in the corner. Maybe I could switch with someone.”

  She was seriously getting on my nerves now. I coughed a little to get her attention, and she turned and looked down where I was still sitting. Her brow scrunched a little as realization spread over her. “No fucking way, are you serious with this shit, Reed,” she was talking about me. Nice.

  I decided long ago that I was done being bullied by Tatum Hernandez. I had rehearsed many comebacks during my showers every morning, and I was finally going to get to use one. “Uh, yes. Quite serious,” I said, standing and pushing past her to link myself through Reed’s arm and kiss his neck, laying my head on his shoulder. “I’m afraid all of these seats are taken.”

  I was beaming with pride as she lowered her brow and clenched her teeth. Never one to just let it go, she shot one more arrow as she turned and left. “Boy, you really rebound low, don’t you Johnson?” she said, walking away.

  Reed just grabbed me and held me close, afraid that I was wounded. “I’m so sorry about that, I had no idea, I swear,” Reed whispered in my ear.

  “It’s ok, and I know. I’m stronger now,” I just smiled at him, a little proud of my showing. Reed just kissed my head and pulled my seat back out for me, tucking my napkin back on my lap so we could resume our mockery of his mother’s dinner party.

  The rest of the evening was more of the same. Millie made a lovely speech and the evening ended up raising more than $1 million for youth scholarships in Arizona. Millie managed to ignore me for most of the rest of the night, despite being seated two people away from me. She spoke to and about Reed often, and I’m sure most of the other people at the table were wondering who the strange, awkward girl was sitting next to him. Reed tried to introduce me a few times, saying things like “I take that class with Nolan or I run track with Nolan,” and gesturing to me. His efforts were always grazed over though.

  She shook my hand again when we left, still treating me like the help. I noticed that she embraced Tatum earlier in the evening, like long lost sorority sisters. I am sure Tatum wasn’t too kind about me to her, either. Great, like I needed more working against me.

  Even with the painful shunning, I still had a wonderful night with Reed. And he was right, I did manage to catch the eyes of a few older gentlemen, though they were far less creepy than he had me believe them to be. Drunk, yes, but creepy? That was up for debate.

  Reed put his jacket over my shoulders as he led me out to the Jeep, careful to tuck me in safely before shutting the door. He drove us partly back to Coolidge but pulled onto a side dirt road when we were in the midst of the mou
ntains. I noticed the grin on his face and bit my bottom lip at the anticipation when he pulled off into a small camp area. He quickly shut off all the lights and cut the engine, unbuckling and reaching for my face, pulling me close to him, swift and with a hungry force.

  It had been so long since we’d been alone and kissed with such passion. We clung to each other, grabbing and fighting for air between locked lips. After several minutes, Reed just hung onto my hair and face, pressing his forehead to mine with his eyes closed. I grabbed his wrists and closed my eyes with him, content.

  “It’s a really nice dress,” he laughed, breathy. I just started laughing, too. He was adorable, and I loved him with all my heart.

  We held each other close for a while longer, and my mind raced with how good it felt to be in his arms. But I also started to feel a sense of dread, and I was sure it was because I had seen Tatum tonight. Reed could feel my heavy sighs and nudged me a little.

  “Something wrong?” he creased his forehead, biting his lower lip.

  “It’s nothing,” I tried to hide with a smile. He wasn’t buying it, though. “OK, it’s just…Tatum’s really close to your mom, huh? And she’s going to be around. And…well, you’re going to pick a school that’s never going to be closer than 2 hours from mine, and…”

  He stopped me with the touch of his fingers to my lips. “Shhhhhh, don’t get ahead of yourself with worry. For starters, fuck Tatum,” he was bitter with his words there, and I knew why. “You never need to worry about her. And second, we still have our senior year, and we’ll figure things out, so how about we just enjoy now, huh?”

  He was so good at calming me. I just smiled and squeezed into his side more. So happy, this was where I wanted to be, now.