He made a lot of sense, but not about the heroics part. I should stash Judicus here somewhere safe. And then I should go back and get Mally while they were distracted looking for me. There’d never be a better time for that.
Your self-sacrifice is admirable – and so is your courage – but you’re crazy. Utterly insane. You’re my heart – please don’t count that as so small a thing.
Now, where to set Judicus down? Could Kazmerev see a good place from the air? Or should I find one here on the ground?
Neither of us should be finding places. We need to get you as far from here as possible. They’re gaining on you.
Maybe if I found a good place for him, I could hide there too, until this first wave of raiders passed and then I could sneak back in their wake. Maybe Kazmerev would even agree to carry me.
Into unknown danger against my better judgment?
Yes.
No!
He was being unreasonable.
Here!
It was a low point in the rolling landscape where two dead trees had fallen over the dip in the earth, crossing each other. One was an evergreen tree, and the branches and needles were a thick mess disguising this little dip.
It’s the first place they’ll look!
I scrambled down toward it, awkwardly crawling through the branches. I didn’t think anyone would bother going to all this effort unless they were sure someone was here. I’d just wait until they passed. And then I’d hide Judicus very carefully. Could Kazmerev bring him down here?
Only if you agree to listen to me, my little hawk. Please.
My breath heaved in my chest from the exertion as I drew myself back out of the cave under the fallen trees. It was going to take all my strength to get Judicus in there.
I’d listen to Kazmerev while I worked.
No.
What?
No. You won’t. I’m putting my foot down. Or my wing. Or something. I am not your horse.
What? I froze. I’d never called him a horse.
No, but you’re treating me like one.
In the distance, I heard a crashing sound. Someone was getting close. I drew further into the branches. I was not treating Kazmerev like a horse. If he was a horse, I’d be riding him right now with Judicus in front of me and I’d be twice as far away as I was right now.
I thought I heard a mental snort.
On the road you didn’t want to take? A horse would not do well on the terrain you’ve found for yourself. Remember how you were stumbling in the dark? That would be the horse.
I felt my chin jutting out stubbornly.
Wait.
I felt my face growing hot. Maybe I was as bad as Mally. Maybe I’d plunged into danger just like her without thinking it through.
Listen.
And he’d seen it all and he knew I was a fool. He’d hold it against me. Humiliation scorched me.
I won’t poke fun, but you must listen.
I listened.
You hold my heart. I die each morning and rise when the sun falls just to see your face again.
I couldn’t help it. Even hiding here in this tangle of trees, that made my heart feel almost as warm as my hot cheeks.
Your loyalty and stubbornness are born in me – an echo of who you are that grows with every rebirth. You’re making me just as loyal and just as stubborn. And I don’t mind because I like who you are.
I blinked back the tears stinging my eyes, trying to focus on wiggling deeper into the tree mass so that I wouldn’t have to think too hard about what he was saying. It was too much.
I will not leave you. I will not have you go on without me. I will bear your loads. I will share your pain. I will carry your friends and accept your plans and wishes.
Warmth infused my heart.
But.
I couldn’t tell why the “but” hurt. He was already giving me so much that knowing there was a limit on it shouldn’t sting the way it did. And yet it did. Had I already pushed him to the limit of what he could take from me? Everyone rolled their eyes at me or just ignored my signs when they didn’t want to hear me. Maybe they hadn’t listened because I had nothing valuable to give.
But you are carrying my future, too. You are making my decisions, too. I am bound to you. I cannot fly away – and I will not, so don’t let that worry you. But I think I should have a say in what we do. I am not your horse. I am not your slave. I want to be your partner. And your friend.
I felt my cheeks growing hot. He was right. I’d done that – just assumed he’d go along with my ideas the way Judicus assumed that about me. I’d assumed that he would do as I asked. I’d treated him like a horse.
Humiliation filled me. I wanted to hide my face.
No need for that. But please – can we be partners? Friends?
Yes. It was what I wanted, too. I didn’t mean ... I didn’t think ... it had been an error on my part to tell him what to do when I should have worked with him and asked him to help me figure out what to do.
You were wrong. You have so much to give. I just want to give to you, too.
How did you say thank you when the gift was too great?
You do it just like that. And now, I would like to suggest two things.
Only two?
One is quite urgent.
And what is that?
I would like to suggest you use your flame to burn the raider currently creeping up on you from behind. He’s lifting the tree branches and raising his sword as we speak.
I whipped around and met the eyes of the raider.
Chapter Seventeen
The scent of his rancid breath blew across my face – those swaths of cloth didn’t prevent it – and the raider jabbed his sword toward me. It was only the thick branches that saved me. They slowed his thrust as I wiggled away from the blade.
You won’t be able to get away from this without fighting back.
I hated killing. I didn’t want to do it. Better to knock him unconscious as Judicus had done with the rope worker magic! Though, I still didn’t know how that worked.
Not like your access to my flames does. Come on! Defend yourself.
The raider growled and my heart sped in panic. My breathing was ragged as I lifted a hand, squeezed my eyes together, and hoped.
I think he’s not going to hurt you now, Sersha. Kazmerev’s voice seemed calmer. Open your eyes.
I opened my eyes and gasped. In front of me, the tree was ablaze and if there had been a man in front of me, nothing was left of him now.
My breathing restarted, aching and panicked. I’d killed him. There’d been a man there a moment ago and now there was nothing but a smoking emptiness. I felt numb right through.
Get out of there.
I scrambled to obey, clawing my way back through the unburned trees, keeping clear of the fire licking over the tangled evergreens.
Get ready to jump.
Heart in my throat, I readied myself.
Now!
I leapt. Warmth flooded over me as I landed on the back of a very solid phoenix. My breath wuffed out in relief.
But where was Judicus?
That’s the other thing I wanted to talk about. I stashed him somewhere safe. If I’m going to agree to help you double back for your cousin, you are not doing it alone. We’ll go back for Judicus – just like you planned, but I found a place that will be harder to reach than your little tree cave.
I felt my face heating. In the end, the tree cave had done little more than slow the raider. But what hiding place could he have found that was better than that?
I want to be clear that I am not a bird, Kazmerev said as he flew us up above the trees. I am a phoenix. It’s different.
Of course, it was. He was not a bird. He was magnificent.
Exactly. He seemed to warm at that. Nevertheless, I left him in the branches of a very tall tree. In ... ahem ... an eagle’s nest. Don’t worry, I wedged him in place. He won’t fall off.
I didn’t want to tell him what a bad idea
that was. Not when we were getting along so well. He almost didn’t seem furious right now.
I’m still furious. I’m angry all the time. I can’t help it.
I was angry for him.
See? It’s that which holds me fast. And it’s your constant presence, just here sitting with me in the depths of this grief that makes it bearable.
We flew low over the trees as guilt ate at me, raw and painful. I’d killed that raider. I kept thinking of him as a man, but with the face scarf up, he could have been a woman. I had no way to know. He could have had children. Been kind to puppies. Given to the poor. He might have been a great artist or craftsman. And I’d snuffed it all out.
He was going to grab you and make you his captive. And then you’d be dead, and Judicus and me, too. You did what you had to do.
I reacted in fear. Maybe there was another way that I hadn’t thought of.
And maybe I will grow gills and swim.
Either way, I could never take it back. That fire slipped from my hand so easily and took his life. And I hadn’t even thought it through.
Stop chastising yourself. We are almost at their camp.
In the darkness, no one looked up at the girl who would have looked like she was sailing through the air on the back of nothing at all.
I felt relieved by that – stealthiness would mean I wouldn’t have to fight anyone – but worried when I looked down.
In the distance, three of the boats had set sail in three different directions. Ship’s lights marked them out against the inky water.
Whatever is in those boats will be lost to us if we go down into the camp. Are you certain of your choice?
There was only one thing I wanted from them – Mally. And she was in their tents.
That’s all I needed to know. Let’s take on this righteous quest, little hawk. Together.
I could sense the purpose behind his mental voice and it fed into my own focus and courage.
I looked down at the disorder below. It looked like a henhouse after a cat got in. People ran here and there, darting in and out of tents. Lights spread out through the trees in every direction. The tree I’d accidentally lit on fire still burned, spreading to the trees nearby. Raiders fought to bring their tents down and pull their possessions out of the fire’s path. They ran frantically, pouring buckets of water and scrambling to move what was in camp to the boats – but it was a large camp. It wouldn’t be packed up too quickly.
The key would be to get down unseen and get into Lady Lightland’s tent and out again without being detected.
I can wait for you on the edge of camp. We need to get you practicing so you can put two people on my back. This would be easier if we could just fly in and fly out again.
Could he let me down on the edge of camp but then soar above me? I didn’t like leaving him behind.
I don’t like being separated from you, either.
We would just have to focus and do this right.
There was a darker spot where the camp met the docks close to the large tent we’d met Lady Lightland in. If I had to guess, I’d say Mally was still in there. It was the first place we should look. And that meant we should try to settle down in the nearby darkness.
I don’t like the idea of you going in alone. Keep me invisible and I’ll come in with you.
Could I use the flame thing again?
If you have to. As long as I’m close. I was right overhead when you blasted that raider in the trees.
That was good to know. There were limitations.
I have to be within about five of my wingspans for you to be able to channel my flame. Or at least, that’s how it was for Veela.
Ideally, I would have another Flame Rider teach me how to do this.
Ideally, yes. But Flame Riders are secretive and hard to find. It will take us some traveling to discover any, though I will watch for sign of them as we travel. For now, we will have to find our way together, as one running through a strange forest in the night.
I winced at that. I still hurt all over – especially my face.
We dropped down into the dark patch and I took a long breath, gathering my nerves and settling my racing heart.
All I had to do was sneak in, find Mally, sneak out. It would be fine.
I reached out and touched Kazmerev’s feathers. I needed the warmth and support. I just needed to know someone was with me. His warmth lit the courage within me, strengthening my heart.
I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.
I leaned my forehead briefly against his warm feathers, drew in a long breath, and then slipped into the night.
Chapter Eighteen
It was likely the chaos of the camp that made it possible to slip in at all. They were looking for someone trying to escape, not someone trying to sneak back in.
There were no guards picketed that I could see and the raiders on the dock were busier loading one of the boats than doing anything else. Four boats chasing one pair of people seemed like too much. But I wasn’t going to argue. Not when that made it possible to steal right up to the edge of the tent where we’d met Lady Lightfoot and sink to my knees, pressing my face to the crack where the tent wall met the ground.
The tent was fully lit. And mostly empty. Only one figure remained, slumped under a blanket. Bits of rope dangled out of the blanket from where I’d guess her hands were.
I gasped.
Mally.
She was here just like I’d thought.
I stood, sneaking around the side and toward an entrance. There were no guards at the door of the tent. No more of the laughing coterie that had been with Lady Lightland. Did they really take our escape so seriously that none of them had stayed with her? Or had they hurt her so badly she couldn’t move or run?
Fear seized my heart. They wouldn’t have killed her, would they?
No. They need her alive.
But would they badly hurt her?
They stabbed Judicus in the side. They hurt Veela badly enough that she never recovered to wish me goodbye.
I bit my lip at his words, fighting down tears of sympathy. These were not kind people we were dealing with. These were enemies. But I couldn’t help but be suspicious that they had made this so easy for me.
It does seem too easy.
Too easy or just easy enough?
Nothing in life is easy enough. Don’t go in the tent.
But I’d come all this way. I needed to see if that was Mally – and if it wasn’t then I needed to move to the next tent and the next tent until I found her. I wasn’t leaving empty-handed.
And if she was hurt, she needed me more than ever. People always thought that because she put on such a tough show that she couldn’t be hurt, but I knew better. She was just a girl, like me. She wasn’t superhuman.
At least take a weapon.
Someone had conveniently left a knife stuck in a log beside the tent. It looked like they’d been putting points on roasting sticks before that. Would that be a good enough weapon?
Better than nothing, I suppose, but I don’t like this. And remember my fire. Use it if you must. Don’t be squeamish about fighting enemies because they will not hesitate to destroy you.
Well, I didn’t like this, but if we all stuck to doing only what we liked, nothing would ever happen.
I held the knife in a strong grip, took a long breath, and slipped between the tent flaps. I stole across the dirt floor, and knelt down beside the pallet on the floor, reaching toward the bound hands in front of me.
It was her! Her exact size. Her soft white hands.
The blanket was over her face. I drew it back.
“Ha!” the word hit me like a blow, and I tumbled backward, the knife falling from my grip.
The ropes slipped from the soft hands of Lady Lightland’s rope worker - Galen Floren Topocos.
No. It couldn’t be.
His too-red mouth curved into a devious smile as he leapt to his feet, hands out and fingers spread wide.
“They all thought I was a fool to try a gambit like this, but I knew the moment I saw you that you were a dog.”
He must have seen my offended expression, but he only laughed, black shadows springing to life in his hands.
“Don’t take offense. People are either dogs or cats. The other girl is a cat. She goes her own way. You’re a dog. You’ll keep coming back, faithful and patient, to serve and protect. Won’t you? I know it’s true. If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t be here, and we wouldn’t even be talking.”
I darted a glance toward the tent flap, and he leapt quickly to block my path, hands still outspread.
“For someone who travels with a rope worker, you seem remarkably ignorant to what we can do.”
He could say that again. If one of them would just tell me instead of constantly hinting at it – well, that would be great!
Flames! Hit him with the flames.
I raised a hand. But could I really kill someone who was only saying threatening things? He hadn’t done anything to me yet. And he knew where Mally was.
Attack him! We can talk about the ethics of it after it’s done!
“You won’t be leaving this tent until I agree to let you,” Galen Floren Topocos said. “But don’t look so sad, you aren’t missing anything. Your friend isn’t even here. The minute the alarm was sounded, Lady Lightland took her out on a boat. They’re faster anyway, and that way there would never be a chance to catch her before she brought your friend to the Grand Hadri and collected the reward. If that’s what she decides to do in the end ...”
Could Kazmerev still hear me?
I can hear you.
Could he tell if this was true? Was Mally really on one of those boats? Had Lady Lightland taken her away?
In the dark, it will be hard to tell – especially with them scattered in every direction. Worry about yourself. Use the fire.
“So now, what will we do with you?” Galen Floren Topocos said, rolling his head from side to side as if he was preparing for a physical fight.
I felt my knees grow weak. I wasn’t able to fight him. He wasn’t a big man – just as thin and wispy looking as Judicus was – but he was still a lot bigger than me. The only option would be to burn him with fire, but I was still aching about having done that a few minutes ago. There had to be some other way that didn’t end with someone dead.
Phoenix Heart: Episode Two: Secret Keeper Page 7
