by Amber Lynn
In the darkened room, I cannot get a good fix on his features, but the Collective photo indicated he has bright green eyes. Those are what actually made me comment on his appearance to Sebastian. Even in the photo, they searched you out and made you want to spill all of your secrets. Too bad, he is an ass in real life.
“So this means I am seriously going to be sprouting fur? What if I don’t want to, can it be stopped?” I ask. “It seemed that Sebastian was able to stop it last night, can we just keep doing that?”
“I would prefer you didn’t,” Alexander replies. “At least not when I am not forewarned, it is rather awkward from my point of view.”
“What do you mean?” In my mind, my feeding should not have any effect on him.
“He feels it when we feed. Probably even experiences the same ending result, if I were to guess,” Sebastian offers.
“Yup, for the last eight months, nine times my regular scheduled life has been interrupted by you two. As I said, if someone sent me a memo about it, so I can seek privacy, I wouldn’t be complaining. It has made a couple strategy meetings more interesting, though. Thankfully, I am a gentleman and don’t kiss and tell, so the people around me don’t really know what happened,” he explains.
“How did you know it was us causing it? Maybe you were just really randy at those times,” I suggest.
“I didn’t at first. I followed you into Sins after the fourth time, just to try to make sense of it. I didn’t know anyone else I could be connected with on that level and since I experienced the phenomenon that night, I put two and two together. Remarkably I came up with four,” he clarifies.
My newly developing relationship with Sebastian seems to have grown a third wheel and I am not really sure how I feel about that. Okay that is a lie; I am pissed by the thought of even being connected to this jerk.
Chapter 12
How do you spell jerk? A L E X
“Great. So, what do we do now?” I ask.
“Well, Babe, I thought at first about the rejection way out of this mating, but decided I liked being immune to silver, so I discarded that idea pretty quickly. Plus, even though I can take bullets now and heal pretty quickly, I still don’t enjoy pain that much and rumor is rejection hurts. I think you have had quite a bit of time to grow affectionate with your fangy side of things, so eventually I think we are going to have to spend a little bit of time together. Otherwise, our relationship would be a little bit strained.
“I say, you go back home and get settled into whatever life you are planning to make for yourself and in a couple months I will seek you out, so we can go on some dates to get to know each other better. I will note ahead of time that Sebastian is not invited to these dates, so please leave him at home,” he states.
“Why? Do you see us settling down sometime soon and having one big happy family? You can keep your extra abilities and just let us live our lives. Sure, Sebastian may need to help me to keep from changing into a wolf and we will probably feed every once in a while, but I can call you when we plan to and give you warning,” I propose.
“You want to tell her, or should I?” Alex asks, his full name is just too long, I have decided.
“It is part of your culture, not mine,” Sebastian says.
“Fine. Since it is September, we have four months to get to know each other better before we are forced to get to know each other better.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I question. I mean, I know how it sounds, I just really hope I am not right.
“Love, it means that January is the Wolf Moon. During the Wolf Moon, wolf mates do what they do best and mate. You, basically, will be going into heat and sadly, he will probably be the only one that can alleviate the problem,” Sebastian offers.
“No, that just ain’t right. You cannot expect me to submit to that. Lock me in a closet and throw away the key until it is over,” I say praying that will be enough.
“You really are just adorable,” Alex says standing and crossing the room to pinch my cheek like a child stuck in their grandmother’s clutches. “Don’t cause us both unnecessary pain. I have already offered to adjust my schedule, so we can get to know each other better. I will even allow the fact that you will probably practice with your vampire before then, but I will not allow you to refuse me.”
“What makes you think you get a choice on what you ‘allow’? I live my own life and make my own decisions,” I screech.
“You haven’t made a decision by yourself since the day you were born. The Collective has guided you all the way. I have already stated my aversion to pain and the pain from not mating would be so intense I would find you anyway and take you against your will. It would be for your own good, if you didn’t resist,” he claims.
“And what if I were the one to just reject you now. That would mean we don’t have to go through with it, right?” I ask.
“Do you know how to reject a mate? It isn’t something they teach in school sweetheart, so I don’t think I have anything to worry about.”
“I hate you!” I yell at him.
“We cannot all be as perfect as Sebastian. Maybe if I didn’t have such a problem with sharing you, I would be a little bit more sympathetic. Mates are supposed to be instantly connected and all lovey dovey I have heard, but you not being single natured is causing a strain on that easy relationship. It isn’t like I can just run out and pick a willing girl to fill my bed when you aren’t around,” Alex retorts.
“Maybe you should try it. It might take the edge off a little for you,” I suggest.
“Wouldn’t that be nice? Too bad, it isn’t possible. If I were to do that, as my mate, you would feel it and feel like your heart was being stabbed with very sharp knives. The thought of you being hurt, for some odd reason, is distasteful to me. Believe me, if I could find a way around that fact, I would be out having fun at all hours,” he says with a look that would probably knock over most women and children. “Your 'feedings' with the vampire don't have an adverse effect because we are all somehow connected, but don't think I haven't felt you kissing someone else. It isn't as bad as it could be if you had full intercourse, but I still feel it.”
“You don’t have to be so cruel about it,” Sebastian says. “We can work something out. We are all adults and you and I are leaders in our species, there is no reason to be childish.”
“You want to see childish, watch this,” Alex says and then moves so fast that I don’t see him grab me, instantly locking his lips on mine.
As big of a jerk as he has been, I don’t open my mouth for him, even though the contact itself is increasing my body temperature dramatically. He realizes he isn’t getting any further and sets me down. His release of me doesn’t help my overheating and I feel myself start to shake. I slowly fall to the ground in pain.
“Sebastian?” I call weakly.
“No, he isn’t helping you this time. This time we get to see what you really are,” Alex interjects.
I close my eyes trying to find a calm place somewhere in the pain. I feel arms wrap around me and know they are not the evil wolf’s. “Shh, love,” Sebby says smoothing my hair back from my face. “It will be okay. It is probably best to have your first change in his company, even if he is going to be a jerk about it and not guide you through it.”
“She thinks she knows everything, I figure she knows what to do,” he replies.
“Way to make an already difficult situation worse, Alex. I am not trying to keep her to myself. I could have and she never would have made the bond with you. Instead, I am letting her make up her mind on where her life will go after the Collective, but you are being a grade A ass about it. You really need to grow up and think about someone other than yourself,” Sebastian yells at him.
Hearing him stick up for me makes me extremely happy to have him by my side. “What do I do?” I ask still weak.
“Sorry, love. This is a case where I cannot help you. I would if I could. Just try to let the process take over. Don’t fight,” he
says still caressing me.
“Why didn’t she just change? I initiated the process; it should have been pretty much instantaneous,” I hear Alex say in the background.
“She isn’t a full wolf, idiot. Who knows how things are supposed to happen for her? She is one of a kind and needs to be handled a lot differently than I have seen today,” Sebastian snaps at him.
“Here step away. Let me see if the scent of the wolf doesn’t calm her more.” I feel shuffling and then feel my head lifted, so my nose is in the curve of a neck. “Inhale, Babe. Breathe it all in.”
I do as the voice says and instantly I am hit with the smell of baking bread. “Hmm. Smells good,” I mumble.
“It does, doesn’t it? You smell real good too. Now think of a wolf. You saw me change last night, think of me in my other form. Think of what it would feel like to run your fingers through my hair. Think of running through the forest chasing the moon beams floating to the forest floor,” he instructs.
His voice has changed from the harshness I have heard since we entered the room. It is like a soft serenade that is drawing images in my head. I can vividly see him in his black wolf form, standing proudly and running through the trees. As I am imagining it, I start to feel pressure in my mouth very similar to what I feel when Lil and Bebe make an appearance. This feeling is more, though and it is like someone has put their hand in my mouth and it trying to tilt my head past the point of my jaw hinge.
“Hurts,” I say not sure if I am really speaking. The next thing I know, I have been released and I am sitting on my hands in knees as my body starts shaking even more violently. Bones seem to be realigning themselves and I can feel my form shifting. If this is what I have to go through to shift into a wolf, I am hooking up an IV between me and Sebby, so I never have to do it again.
After a few more moments of shifting bones, the pain stops. I collapse down, so I am lying flat on the floor. A gasp is sounded in the otherwise dead silent room and I direct my head to Sebastian where it came from.
“Love, I have to tell you, you are the prettiest wolf I have ever seen. Since I don’t particular like the wolves, you should take that as a very high compliment,” Sebastian says affectionately.
A wolf howl echoes through the small space and the next thing I know Alex, in his black wolf form, is pushing his snout into my side trying to get me to move. I stand up and say, “What do you want?” I don’t think any words actually left my mouth, though, which kind of bites.
“Oh good,” Sebastian says. “I was worried only another wolf would be able to understand you, but I can hear you too.”
“I just need to scent you,” Alex says. “Sorry, this is probably weird for you, but when you finally changed I couldn’t stop myself from changing as well. I won’t actually bite you to mark you as mine until January, but until then I have to ensure that you carry my scent.”
“What exactly does that entail?” I ask suspiciously.
“I am not going to pee on you if that is what you are asking. I am just going to bite down gently on the back of your neck. It won’t leave a mark, but it will hold my scent on your skin, even if you shower, for a couple weeks,” he explains.
“Sebastian is that okay?” I ask. To me, he is as much a part of this as me or Alex. From how Alex has acted today, him getting close to me with his wolf fangs is not exactly appealing.
“Always your choice, love. It may help the situation. You smell strongly of me right now, so it has probably been difficult for him. I can acclimate myself to the combined scents without too much misery,” he responds.
“Okay, you can do it,” I instruct and feel Alex shift to lower me back to the ground probably for easier access to my neck.
When I am lying back down, I feel him hover over me before lowering his head and clamping his jaws around my neck. His teeth make contact with my skin and he holds the position for a few moments and then steps away.
“Thank you. I feel more at ease now,” he tells me. “I am sorry for making this change hard on you. I hope future ones are not as painful. I cannot promise I will stop being a dick. It is really hard knowing I have to share you and that will take some getting used to, but hopefully Sebastian is right and we can find some kind of happy medium.”
“That is a total one eighty from what you have been like so far. I am not comfortable with the situation myself. I have had years to reluctantly fall in love with Sebastian. You were kind of just thrown at me and every time I turn around you are a jerk,” I say.
“I know we didn't start out very well. Feeling your pain just then broke my heart. Like I said, we will work on it. Sebastian has my number, when you get things settled, give me a call and we will try to get together. I think we both have a lot to learn about one another,” he says.
“So, fences are being repaired, how about someone answer the important question for me? What color wolf am I?” I ask. “The room is too dark for me to really tell and I don’t think my vision has quite adjusted to things.”
Chapter 13
A little tale about me
“Gold,” Sebastian says with a little bit of awe and whisper to his voice. “It isn’t a shade I have ever seen in a werewolf or natural wolf. It is really quite beautiful. If there were more light in here, I imagine it would reflect the beam making you sparkle.”
“He is right, gold, at least that shade, is not an expected color for a wolf of any kind. It is something we should probably keep under wraps. You are already unique enough with your triple nature, adding this may cause others to become concerned,” Alex adds.
“Darn, I was hoping I was somehow purple. I imagine that would really get people talking. So, now that we have gone through the painful shift, how do I change back?” I ask.
“I can shift back and bring you with me, if you want. I really didn’t know you weren’t going to be able to do an instant shift earlier, or I would have tried a different method to calling out the wolf,” Alex replies.
“As little pain as possible would be preferred,” I impart.
“One, two, and three,” Alex says and we are both back in our humanoid forms fully dressed.
“That was a way nicer experience,” I claim thankful I didn’t have to feel bones reshaping again. “So where do we want to go from here? Now that you have calmed down, let’s try to talk about some things like adults.”
“Got it, practicing my yoga deep breathing exercises now,” he replies.
“First, on the very top of my list of things to work out, is nicknames. I hate the term babe, so unless you want to lose testicles you need to come up with something else. Love and Cheeseburger are already spoken for. Nyxie has been used by others, but it currently saddens me a bit, so I don’t suggest it either,” I explain.
“Really, it offended you that much that with the chaos between us, you made it number one priority?” Alex asks sounding a little offended himself. “Fine, I will come up with something different. As we spend more time together, I am sure I will come up with the perfect name.”
“Thank you. As for the rest of our personal issues, I really don’t know where to start. I only started, what I see as my first romantic relationship within the past two days, so I don’t even know how to make it work with one guy, let alone two. I kind of feel like a child whose parents are going through a divorce. I mean do you guys get me every other weekend or what?”
“If you want, I cannot stay with you at the penthouse,” Sebastian suggests. “At least for the time being, when Alex is in town. I will be in the building, but not sharing a bed. That way you can be independent and be allowed to date us both without the weirdness of me being there when he walks you home.”
“Sometimes you are just way too understanding, Sebby. I am still nervous about this, but that seems like a way for us to all start getting used to being around each other. If I am going to for sure need to eat every once in a while and at least once a year turn into a wild women, we need to find a happy medium where we all coexist,” I say.
“As long as you are still offering phone calls before feedings, I am game with us taking it slow and becoming accustomed to each other’s company,” Alex says.
“See that wasn’t that hard. So, for today, me and Sebby are going to head back and try to piece a life together for me post Collective. I need a storefront I think. I am imagining me being like a private detective or something. I don’t really want to just go around killing people for no good reason. I want to first substantiate the claims made against them and then hack them to little bits,” I declare.
“I can see that. Previously, you have had the Collective making the choices on who should die and I am sure you realize now, like in the case of Alex and your father, not all of their execution orders are legit,” Sebastian says.
