by Hattie Mae
“Yes, but I am more concerned with the lack of happiness in my good friend. How are you?”
“Getting by, Trudy, just getting by.”
“Are you up to a girl party tomorrow night? We could share a beer or two and maybe a pot of fudge,” Trudy teased.
“You know that might be what I need. Minus the fudge, the memory of the last time I did that is still too fresh in my mind. Why don’t you come over to Aunt Odelia’s? This can be her bachelorette party. If you don’t mind getting in touch with Susan, I have something to do with the girls..”
“No problem. Let’s keep it a surprise. What about Bea and Lizzy?” Trudy was getting into the swing of planning a party now.
“I’ll tell them this afternoon. But we’ll need to save the beer for when they go to bed. I’ve already bought Aunt Odelia a pretty nightgown. This will be so good for me to focus on her. She is everything to me. Anyone else you can think of we need to invite? I don’t want it to be too big.” Rose said.
“Lisa?” asked Trudy.
“Hell no.” Rose grinned. “Did I say that out loud? I’m sorry but she has everything she wanted, and besides this is about my aunt and she bares no bones about the way she feels about Lisa.”
“Don’t be too sure, Rose. She might not have everything she wants, it looks that way now, but don’t be too sure.” Trudy winked at Rose.
Susan brought Odelia a beautiful pink robe and matching slippers. Trudy’s box held a naughty black number. Bea and Lizzy, with Rose’s help, made her a book of wishes. The party was off to a good start.
“Hey, may I have your attention?” Rose raised her glass of apple cider to propose a toast. “I wanted to say how happy I am that I came here this summer. I’m sorry it took so long to get to know this wonderful woman. She is much more to me than an aunt, she is the mother I never had, and to make life better she gave me the dad I thought was dead.”
Rose took her time dwelling on the other two women and the two little girls. “I think of all of you as family and cherish each and every one of you. May happiness follow you, Aunt Odelia, every day of the year.”
The room became quite, each woman in her own thoughts.
Trudy cleared her throat and raised her glass. “Rose is right, you need happiness, but most of all you are going to need luck, Odelia. The older these boys get the more you need luck to keep them in line. You just need to look in their eyes and see the mischief in them. Big ole brown eyes full of fun. Except Sam, what color are his anyway?”
“You know I can’t put a real color to Sam’s eyes, they sort of change,” said Odelia.
“They are light blue with streaks of green in them when he is excited.” Rose looked down at her folded hands, closed her eyes and continued. “When he’s frustrated, they turn a darker blue green with a circle of brown. And when he talks to his family with pride and love in his voice, they turn a soft gray with amber sparks. That’s what color Sam’s eyes are.”
Odelia broke the silence as everyone seemed to be holding their breath. “Thank you, Rose,” she blew her nose. “Thank all of you for a great party, but a bride needs her beauty rest, so if the rest of you will excuse me, I’ll take this tired body and two tired little girls, and we will say our good nights.”
Susan excused herself also stating she needed to get back to the baby, who was still on breast milk. Trudy and Rose began picking up.
“Okay girlfriend, it’s time for a beer and real talk. Tell me how are you really doing?” Trudy asked.
Rose kicked off her shoes and sat on the love seat tucking her feet under her. She took a long sip of the beer and motioned for Trudy to sit beside her.
“Numb. I think I’m numb. The other night at the dance was a nightmare. I don’t think I’ve ever been that hurt. Not even when old Ted dumped me at the altar. Not when all the other men pushed me away. Not even when my so called mother degraded me.” Rose took another drink and set the bottle on the small table in front of them. “I know now it’s because none of them meant as much to me as he does.” Rose laughed. “Listen to me, I can’t even say his name.”
“Oh, Rose, I wish— ”
“It’s okay. I don’t regret coming. I have so much more than I did when I came, for one thing a friendship with you. But I have a favor to ask? The cabin in Colorado wont be ready for awhile and I think the two newlyweds will need the house to themselves. Besides I hate to leave the man that I now call dad until we’ve had more time to get to know each other.” Laughter flowed from Rose. “Oh yeah, the favor. The short of it is I need a place to stay until the cabin is ready.”
Trudy stood and grabbed hold of Rose’s hands. “Do you mean you are willing to stay a while longer?”
“Yes but not so near Sam’s home. Do you know of a place, maybe in town?
“Do I know of a place? You bet I do, if you don’t mind small. Remember that little garage apartment out back? I just finished painting it. I would love to have you there.” Trudy took a breath. “I think you could find a place to set up a writing station. You haven’t given up writing have you?”
“No. I could never give up writing. But I might try my hand at another genre. Time will tell about that. You know, the one thing Aunt Odelia taught me to believe in was happy endings. I know now they do happen. Just not to everyone.”
“Are you sure? About the apartment, I’ll pay rent of course and that is not negotiable.”
“Great. Who knows you might like living in town so much you will forget about Colorado. Well, it’s late and we both need our beauty sleep. But you know I’m just a phone call away; please call me anytime of the night or day. Even if you just need to talk. I love you and I’m going to miss you more than you know. Try to get some sleep. You’re too young to be toting such big bags under your eyes.”
Trudy was right. She did need to sleep, but that was easier said than done.
Rose pulled back the curtains and gazed at the big house. She could see the gallery and Sam’s door; the lights in his bedroom were still on. Was Lisa with him? Was she in his arms? Were they making love? What was wrong with her? The sooner I get away from here the better.
Rose lifted her head and brushed the back of her hand across her eyes. She gave a last look at the big house and noticed that this time Sam’s door was open. The light from his bedroom highlighted the lone figure on the gallery. Sam. He wore only pants and no shirt. How much did she recognize that look? Their late night visits on the gallery, he dressed the same. She could still feel the warmth and tautness of his chest as she placed her hands on the windowpane.
Rose tore her gaze from his face that was turned in her direction. Was he looking at her? Did he know how much she was longing for him? The distance made it difficult to see his expression but his body language told her of his sadness.
“Two lost souls, Sam. We are two lost souls, you and I. We wanted something that could never be.” She pulled the curtain closed. It was turning into the longest week of her life.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
The day of the wedding was hectic. Odelia and Wilson had decided to hold the ceremony on the road leading to the Annees Passees under the canopy of the oak trees. Trudy was putting the last touches to Rose’s hair, a wreath of tiny cream-colored rose buds, when the door swung open.
Lizzy and Bea fretted with their beautiful dresses. Bea pulled at the neck and tugged at the large bow covering her waist. Lisa had insisted on dressing them, including doing their hair. She’d piled it up on their head making them both look years older. A tinge of pink rouge and pink lipstick adorned their faces. Lizzy’s hair had started to slip and she was trying to shove it back straight.
“Oh, Miss Rose, you look like a princess. Do we look like princesses, too?” Lizzy asked.
“You sure do. You both look good enough to eat.” That was met with a squeal of delight.
Rose bent down and hugged Lizzy and Bea. “You know, the other night at the party, I had a gift for each of you but forgot to give it to you. Do you want to ope
n them now?”
“I guess. It’s because you are leaving after the wedding, right?” Bea asked. Her small shoulders slumped in sadness.
“That’s right, Bea. I am leaving, but I’m going to move into town for a while until my place is ready in Colorado. So we are not going to say goodbye, okay?”
“Okay. But you don’t have to leave. She won’t bother you. She stays to herself most of the time anyway. But dad says she’s trying,” Bea replied.
“Sit here on the floor and I’ll get your gifts.”
The girls each got one gift and there was a big box attached to both of them. Bea opened hers first and pulled a big purple journal with a purple feather pen out of the box. With it was a book on storytelling and a set of leather bound books to read. The Little Women series.
Bea put her arms around Rose’s neck and hugged her very tight. “Thank you, Rose,” she whispered.
Lizzy tore open her box and pulled out another rag doll, this one with red curly hair and big blue eyes.
“I thought Abby needed a friend. Because since I met you two, I know how important friends are. You and Abby can give her a name.”
“She already has a name.” Lizzy said, looking adoringly at her new doll. “Her name is Rosie, and I will love her always.”
The small girl threw herself into Rose’s arms and hugged like she would never let go.
“Open the other box, girls,” Trudy said.
They worked on the box together and lifted a lap desk for each of them, filled with stamped post cards addressed to Rose at her new address.
“Now neither of you will have any excuse not to write to me and keep me in touch with what the two of you are up to when I move to Colorado. We better get going, I don’t want Aunt Odelia to think we all forgot her wedding.”
The music started and Rose walked up the aisle escorted by Lewis. Everyone was standing. Sam stood next to Lisa, her hand resting on his arm. A notice, Rose thought, letting everyone know “he’s mine, this one is taken.”
Her eyes met Sam’s and for a moment she forgot to breathe. She had not seen him since the night of the dance except from a distance. He looked tired. He looked good. His eyes sucking her in like they always did. Rose stumbled and he reached out to her but Lewis caught her, and she tore her gaze from Sam. It will be over soon.
The wedding march sounded and Lizzy entered, throwing magnolia petals on the ground. Her hair looked a mess. Half was down, the other half slipping. She had wiped her lips and smeared the lipstick down her chin, but all and all she still looked like an angel.
Rose stole a look at Lisa and saw the look of horror that consumed her. Sam was in awe, the look of love and amusement all over his face.
Aunt Odelia entered next, escorted by her Wilson and Bea behind her. Bea was trying so hard to be grown up. She carried herself tall and took big steps as she tried to walk like a grown woman, which made her sway a little too much. She looked like a little girl in a body working too hard to be an adult. .
“Who gives this woman to wed this man?” the preacher asked.
“I do,” answered Rose.
The vows went smoothly, and Rose never thought her aunt looked more beautiful or happier. Wilson, her dad, stood tall and was dressed in his uniform. He said he made Odelia a promise he would return after the war; his war took a little longer. They were pronounced man and wife and he kissed her gently. They would now live their happier ever after, this Rose had no doubt.
Rose hugged and kissed all the brothers, Susan, Trudy, Bea, and Lizzy. She lingered over Aunt Odelia and Wilson. “Promise me the two of you will come to town often,” she said.
“Nothing could keep us away. Besides I owe my bride a break from cooking once a week or more. And I’ve got my favorite daughter to see.” Wilson hugged her tight and kissed her cheek.
Rose walked to her car she had packed that morning. She ran up the steps of the side house to get her purse and take one last look at the world she wished she could have.
“Were you going to drive away without telling me goodbye?”
The sound of Sam’s voice shook her to her core.
He was leaning against the door of her car. His easy stance much as it was when she first came, except now the look on his face was different. His eyes still held hers, seeking, pleading, always wanting something she couldn’t give.
“I thought we had said our goodbyes that night, Sam. I don’t think we have anything else to say to one another. I do give my thanks to you for opening your home to me that night. I needed a place to regroup. And thank you for allowing the girls to visit me when I get to Colorado sometimes. I really am going to miss them.”
She stood in front of him now. He had not moved.
“Do you know how much I care for you, Rose?” he whispered. “How much I wished things could be different, how much I regret being the cause of such pain. I hated Ted for what he did to you. Admired you that you could start new. But now I’m no better than he was and you are the one left holding the hurt. You are the one that has to start new once again. If I could go back. If—”
“You can’t, Sam. None of us can. Take care of yourself. Take care of your family.”
He put his hand on her arm, but she pulled away. “Please don’t. I can’t take anymore. Please move. Walk away. Let me go, Sam, let me go.”
He moved out of the way, and she got in the car and started the motor. He stood glaring at her.
“You were right. That first night I came. A redheaded woman on a Monday brought you nothing but trouble.” Rose gunned the motor and drove away.
Sam watched as the dust settled on the winding road leading from the plantation. “You’re wrong, Rose. You brought me a lot more than trouble.”
“You let her go. I thought you had more sense than that, little brother.”
Sam whirled around to see Preston standing behind him. “I did what I had to do. Don’t you start with me. I did what I had to do.”
“Really, for who? Ask yourself that question. For who?”
Sam clenched his fist. I told you not to mess with me. Now walk away.”
“Why, so you can feel proud that you sacrificed your feelings for everyone else again? The martyr suit doesn’t fit you this time, Sam.”
“You don’t know what the hell you are talking about. I never set out to me a martyr.”
“Maybe that’s the wrong choice of words. But think about it. You gave up Little League so you could stay home with the twins when Mom died. You gave up your scholarship so you could run the farm when Dad got sick. You gave up your freedom when Lisa came back to town with a small child. Every day, you give up parts of yourself to help this family. Time has come, my brother. Time to do something that’s for your good. Not the good of the family.”
They stood facing each other, neither spoke; they both had said all they could say. Preston shook his head and walked away.
He’s crazy. No one knew. He had responsibilities. Everyone couldn’t just throw responsibilities to the wind to make himself happy.
Sam’s thoughts turned to Rose, like they did almost every second of the day. Emptiness filled his soul. How was he to make it through a day without knowing she was here?
“Look, Papa. Look what Miss Rose gave me. Her name is Rosie, ‘cause she looks like Miss Rose and she is soft and full of love like Miss Rose. Don’t you like her, Papa? I think she’s the most beautiful doll I’ve ever seen. Except Abby. They are going to be best friends, just like me and Miss Rose, don’t you agree?”
“Yes pumpkin, I agree. I’m glad Miss Rose gave you something to remember her by. That was very kind of her.”
“Did she give you a gift to remember her by, Papa?”
“Yes she did, pumpkin. But what she gave me I will keep inside here.” He pointed to his chest. “And I will always remember Rose.”
“I miss her already, Papa.”
“I do too, pumpkin, I do too. Let’s go see what your mother and Bea are doing?”
“Mommy
is lying down. She said the wedding was too stressful. I think she was upset about my hair falling down. I tried to push it up but it wouldn’t stay.”
“I thought you were one of the prettiest girls there, pumpkin. Your mom didn’t yell at you, did she?
“No, Papa. She is always smiling. Kind of a funny smile. Can you frown and smile at the same time, Papa?”
Laughing, Sam picked up Lizzy and carried her back to the house. He knew exactly the look on Lisa’s face Lizzy was describing. A forced smile that hid her frustration. She was trying too hard. He would let her rest and then check on her later.
Odelia left plenty of food prepared in the fridge. Preston and the twins were busy heating up a taste of everything. Lewis had gone home with Susan and Penny. Odelia and Wilson went to their house. All would be back to normal soon.
Sam fixed himself and the girls each a plate and they sat at the table. Talking was strained. Sam knew his brothers were upset with him for letting Rose go. He shoved a fork of food in his mouth, but it stuck in his throat like bad medicine. Sam had to make things as normal as he could for the sake of the girls.
In time everyone would forget about Rose. But would he?
Rose settled into the small apartment and smiled at the fresh flowers Trudy had placed on the table. She’d also managed to round up a small desk with a lamp and a comfy chair. Somehow her friend knew the sooner Rose could get back to work the better.
A routine soon developed with Trudy and Rose sharing coffee in the morning on Trudy’s patio. The rest of the day Rose spent walking around Bon Amie, and visiting with the people. Rose had grown to love this small town, with it’s large oak trees and the smell of gardenias mixed in with the azaleas. Sometimes she made notes about one character trait or another of the friendly people. Her favorite time was when Odelia and Wilson came and they shared stories, mostly about her dad’s life and sometimes hers. She even found happiness hearing about the LeBlanc brothers and of course Bea and Lizzy. Because she would be going to Colorado soon a decision was made that she would not try to see Bea or Lizzy, another goodbye for them would be too hard.
