Kristine rolled her shoulders and stretched her neck, remembering how she’d told herself that it was those childish pranks that had prompted Nard to request her as the helper on his travel trips. She tried her best to stay out of his way on the trips and knew she could have avoided a lot of conflict with him if she’d just done her work, but his incompetence bothered her so much that she couldn’t help herself. She couldn’t hold her tongue and continued to needle him.
The jingle of the harness on the team her brother and Nard had taken down the wagon trail signaled their return. Kristine snapped the clippers back on, vowing to ignore the guys as she finished her task. Peripherally, she watched the day-ride crew join them. Once her stock was presentable for the season, she drifted to the shoeing shed to watch Dozer work, noticing his grimace as she pulled her camera out again. Just to mess with him, she kept taking shots from behind him, framing the mule’s foot with his rear.
“Any of these kids need sneakers?” Gabe asked, making her jump. She tried to hide how much he’d startled her.
“All of them,” she responded. “But I’ll tackle that tomorrow. Leo hasn’t said anything about having any spots for me yet.”
“Nard’s got a big trip leaving in a few days. He was talking about how you could be second packer on it.”
Kristine tensed at the suggestion and more so as she watched Nard approach her mules. She gathered her strength and marched across the yard. “I didn’t pack for any overnight trip,” she said pointedly.
Nard ran his hand along Suzy-Q’s freshly-shorn mane. “I’ve got an extra bedroll you can use. It’s the Horse Heaven trip, too.”
“I came back to work the Aspens with Gabe.”
Nard moved with her, dropping his voice low enough that Gabe wouldn’t be able to hear. “You sure you didn’t come back for something else?” He openly leered at her. “Seems like a big coincidence your coming back right when I’m heading out there. I always thought it a shame…all those years you worked here and never once saw Horse Heaven.”
“I never lost sleep over it,” Kristine said, knowing what he was insinuating.
“I have.” He ran his hand down the mule’s rump, giving it a smack that made both the mule and Kristine jump. That made him smile. “I’ll tell my dad we’re all set with you as second packer.”
She suppressed a shudder, trying to find a way out of the trip. She knew she’d have to face him this summer, but it was going to be on her own terms, not his. She glanced at Gabe, took in his puzzled expression, and knew she couldn’t say anything to Nard as he walked away.
She untied Scooter and Suzy-Q from the rail and led them toward the stock truck they used for hauling horses and mules between the two pack outfits, leading them up the wooden platform. Her brother loaded Joker and Pepper.
“Still spooked?” he asked.
“No,” she lied, hating that now she also had to figure out how to divert her brother. When it first happened, it had been easier to tell him she’d been hurt tying one of the horses to the picket line in the backcountry. Being back, though, she could feel how closely he watched her, and his tone was serious and protective, something she hadn’t heard before, emotions she’d hoped to see in her father. Although he’d hesitated when she’d gone through her carefully crafted details, he accepted her story without question. She knew he’d be disappointed that she hadn’t followed the cowboy code of getting right back in the saddle, but even he couldn’t ignore that she wasn’t up to it physically for quite a few weeks. He couldn’t argue with her logic when she insisted that she wasn’t useful to Leo if she hurt too much to get in the saddle. Usefulness, that was the answer.
“It’s that he’s still such an idiot. It makes no sense at all to have me out on that trip. Obviously, he needs to be training one of the new guys. I’m not going to be riding any of the trails on this side of the valley. I’m sure Leo will shut his idea down and send someone who actually needs to know the stopovers.”
Her brother smiled.
“What?”
“You know it’s that common sense that makes Dad think you’re destined to run the ranch. You have a business sense of the big picture that I’ll never have.”
“Don’t you dare tell him,” Kristine said, punching him.
“No. It’s our secret,” he said, holding her eyes. He hesitated, but then continued, “You sure that…”
She waved him off with an excuse of wanting to get the stock over to the Aspens.
As she drove back, a wave of guilt crashed on her. She understood how angry and hurt Gabe would be if he found out what she’d been hiding all these years. At first, she’d been too scared to tell him. Then too embarrassed. She felt guilty for keeping him in the dark but saw no easy way to tell him now. It was so long ago.
Do you even have a plan? Her father’s words mocked her. She had no plan at all. Had she come back specifically to confront Nard? The tangled knot in her stomach betrayed that she’d rather not. She’d returned for Gabe, she reminded herself. In helping him, she hoped to remove some of the sting from when she’d left. If she was able to work the summer through to the end, she hoped to redeem herself, at least in her own eyes. She wondered whether that was possible without having to dig up the past.
Kristine reflected on how things were when she’d run home to Quincy so unexpectedly six years ago. It was clear that her dad hadn’t fully believed her explanation. She’d worried so much that he’d push for more details, more answers about why she didn’t finish out the trip. At first, she was relieved that he’d let it go, but then the fact that he did so actually hurt. He’d always taught her to tough it out, but when she’d bailed, he hadn’t pushed the issue. The way he’d dropped it confirmed for her that he saw his daughter as a weakling. She’d been battling that perception ever since and needed to prove to herself that she wasn’t.
Chapter Eight
Gloria punched in the numbers of her calling card and relished the sound of the ringing that said her call had finally gone through. She’d spent too much time wandering around the campgrounds trying to find a cell phone signal, and had given up and headed for the payphones at the Lodge.
“Hey, Ma,” she said when her mother picked up.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. I can’t call you?”
“You send cards. That’s what you do. I got your last one, by the way. Lovely, lovely place. But you don’t call unless something’s wrong. Bear attack?”
“No.” Gloria pinched the bridge of her nose.
“Stupid campers?”
“Same as usual.”
“Something wrong with the camper? You need to talk to your father?”
“Mom. I’m fine. The camper’s fine. Can’t I just call to say hi?”
There was silence on the line as her mother processed all of that. Just as Gloria thought she would let it slide, she began to laugh. “No. Your evenings, you hunker down with your work or a book. What’s got you worked up enough to find a place to make a call? This isn’t your cell. Are you up in Mammoth?”
“At the Lodge, Mom. There are payphones here. The cell coverage is spotty.” Gloria rested her back against the building, watching the activity at the corrals, looking for the real reason she’d walked over. She couldn’t stop thinking about Kristine. Unanswered questions had been buzzing around in her head, especially during her quiet evenings. Though she realized that Kristine was at the Aspens most days, Gloria still walked over to the Lodge around six thirty, hoping that Kristine might have headed back down for dinner or another campfire gathering.
“You’re lonesome,” her mother diagnosed.
“I’m fine. I like my solitude.”
“Usually when you say that, I believe you. This time, I don’t. What’s going on?”
Gloria realized she might as well talk to her mother. She had after all called her. “There was this campfire thing a few days ago, after my talk.” She shrugged even though she knew her mother could not see her. The lin
e remained quiet as her mother waited for her daughter to continue. “I guess it made me homesick. I move around so much that there’s never a group who welcomes me back, no old-timers…” Movement in the yard distracted her. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Kristine riding in with a string of mules behind her.
Suddenly self-conscious, Gloria swiveled away from looking at the parking lot and corrals.
“Old-timers?” her mother prompted.
“Old-timers,” Gloria repeated, kicking herself for not making a plan if she did happen to find Kristine.
“You were saying something about old-timers.”
“Oh, right.” Curious about what the cowboys were doing, she pivoted back around. She saw Kristine tying her lead mule to a post by a large wooden platform. It looked exactly like a dock she’d expect to see in a lake with a rowboat tied to the side, yet this was on dry land. “Old-timers telling stories about back when I was a teenager just learning the ropes,” Gloria said.
“Adam’s got those stories, and he’s always saying he wished he had funding to keep you at the field office here. I always thought you were kind of relieved there wasn’t money for something full-time for you here. I thought you liked being out in the wilds on your own.”
“I do like where I am. I love what I do.” She kept her eye on the group that had gathered to help unload the mules. “I’m just realizing that it would be nice to have a group.” Like the one that she watched working together. They were a unit. The rangers she worked with became units. She’d always been the outsider. Strange that she’d never been so aware of it before.
Her mother laughed heartily. “Does this phone have a record button? I want to hear you say that again. Don’t you remember me bugging you to go hang out with people your own age when you were in high school?”
“I remember,” she said. Gloria wished she was closer to the work. In a flash, Kristine and Sandy pulled large leather bags from each side of the mule and tossed them onto the dock. Dozer emptied out the bags, stowing the canvas tarps and long ropes in the shed. Kristine glanced toward the building where Gloria stood. Her eyes hit Gloria like an arrow finding its target.
“You sound so blue,” her mother’s voice brought Gloria back to the conversation she was having. “Not your usual whip-people-into-shape self.”
Gloria knew she should respond, but couldn’t find words. When they had finished unloading the mules, Dozer and Kristine appeared to discuss something before Dozer took the string and led them away from the dock. Kristine sauntered across the yard, spurs clinking, the fringe of short chaps she wore slapping below her knees. She pushed her rolled-up sleeves back down, concealing her strong forearms, and her black hat shaded her face as she concentrated on buttoning her cuffs. As she entered the store, she glanced briefly in Gloria’s direction.
“I’m just in that adjustment period, finding my bearings,” Gloria answered. She shifted her position and was able to look in the doorway. Kristine had paused at the counter, chatting with the spellbound store clerk as she rang up an ice cream. As Kristine walked to her truck, the clerk followed her with her eyes until she realized Gloria was watching. She shrugged with a smile of acknowledgment as if to say they’d both been caught. Oblivious to the two women behind her, Kristine climbed into the cab of her truck and pulled out of the parking lot.
“Maybe you should give Meg a call. Touch base.”
“Mmm,” Gloria mumbled.
“Take care of yourself, sweetie,” her mother said, letting her off the hook.
“I will, Mom. I love you.” Gloria replaced the receiver in the cradle and paused. Something made her glance in the store again though she knew Kristine was long gone. The clerk smiled brightly.
Gloria didn’t miss how the clerk’s tight tank showed off her lean figure. She’d swept her dark hair up into a bun that instead of looking messy came off as stylish and cool. She returned Gloria’s appraisal with an openness that invited Gloria over. She thought about simply waving because by comparison she felt frumpy in her standard loose-fitting hiking pants, her Department of Fish and Wildlife tee and unexciting ponytail tucked through the back of her ball cap. What she’d said to her mother was true—she was finding her bearings. With the hope that talking to someone would make her feel more settled, she headed toward the store.
“Checking in with the girlfriend back home?” the clerk asked without preamble.
“Mom,” Gloria corrected, noting the clerk’s reaction, the sport in her eyes.
“I never got to introduce myself the other night,” she said. “I’m Ocean.”
“Ocean?”
“Daughter of Deadheads and thus destined to be a whaler or marine biologist.”
“I know plenty of people whose names match their profession, a Melody in chorus, a baker named Baker.”
“Alas, the water is no draw to me.” She smiled, her eyes openly assessing Gloria’s body. “If you’ve got some time this evening, I’d be happy to show you what I am drawn to.”
In the back of her head, Gloria heard Meg’s voice commenting on the wealth of selection Mammoth had to offer. Pushing it aside, she smiled and said, “My evenings are nothing but time.”
“Super.” Ocean smiled brightly. “You had dinner? I usually grab something at the café.”
“That sounds good,” Gloria said. Gravitating toward the cards against the wall, she smiled and stepped aside to let Ocean do her job. Though she told herself she should find another photographer’s perspective to send to her mother, Kristine’s cards still spoke to her the most. She lifted one from the display.
Two backpackers crossed a sheer expanse of granite. The color of the rock, which dominated the image, should have made the picture feel cold, and the tiny backpackers remote. When she studied it though, Gloria felt warmth, felt like Kristine had captured something resonating between the two women and their surroundings.
When the clock rounded to seven, she laid the image on the counter.
“Last sale of the day,” Ocean said, slipping the card into a bag for Gloria. She ducked under the counter and motioned Gloria out in front of her. “I could take you there.”
Gloria tilted her chin.
“You hike, right? When I’m off, we could take the trail in that picture. That granite pass is on the way to Fish Creek. I hear there’s a killer set of hot springs down there. We should go.”
Gloria wondered if that’s where the women in the picture were headed, if they were going to a romantic natural hot spring. “It sounds lovely,” she answered as they settled in at the counter in the café.
“It’s on my list of spots I have to get to this summer. It’d be awesome if I had someone to go with.” she beamed.
“Is this a second summer for you?” Gloria asked, scanning the simple menu.
“Yeah, it’s a pretty sweet setup. I get food and board and a chance to hike on my days off. All of my friends are totally jealous of my summer job.”
“You’re in college during the winter months?” Gloria asked. Please, please, she thought, let her be working on her master’s degree.
“I’m second year at UC Santa Cruz,” Ocean said, quickly adding, “I took a few years off after high school. I wanted to do some backpacking in Europe, which my parents totally didn’t get, so I worked for two years to have a few months of travel.”
“What are you studying?”
Ocean shrugged. “I’m undecided right now. Taking classes keeps my parents quiet, and then I get to play all summer.”
Ocean happily described the various kinds of play she enjoyed, requiring very little participation on Gloria’s part to keep the conversation going. Had she ever been this young and self-absorbed? She tried to picture a whole day hiking with this woman. Would she ever run out of things to say? Gloria wondered if she was remotely curious about her job or the things that she enjoyed. As they paid the check, Gloria realized she’d be just as content to return to her camper and lose herself in a romance novel, a pastime that she loved and w
ould have enjoyed chatting about, had she been asked. However she found that she couldn’t say no when Ocean excitedly suggested that Gloria come to her cabin to see the picture of the bear she’d told her about.
“That’s the Dumpster they get into some nights when the kitchen crew forgets to lock the bar across the top.”
Gloria resisted the temptation to check the Dumpster to make sure that it was secure. Inside Ocean’s room, she chuckled politely at the snapshot. When Ocean offered her a beer Gloria looked for a way to cut out but didn’t, not wanting to be impolite. As she sipped, she thought about why being in Ocean’s company wasn’t taking away her disquiet. She concentrated on not gulping her beer, so she wouldn’t seem rude. When she finally finished it, she declined a second and stood to leave but didn’t move fast enough to escape Ocean’s moving in for a kiss. Out of instinct, she kissed Ocean back, but she found herself unable to move her hands past her shoulders. Ocean’s hands traveled freely over Gloria’s back, even tucking under her shirt to make contact with her skin. Gloria searched for a reason her kiss and touch did nothing to excite her. It wasn’t that her feelings were hurt over Ocean’s lack of interest in her career or hobbies. She’d fallen into bed with people she’d exchanged fewer words with, yet the entire time Ocean kissed her, her mind continued to search for a polite way to disengage.
Was she missing Meg? The thought was so foreign to her that she stepped back.
“Sorry,” Ocean said, though she smiled. “Too forward?”
Gloria sighed apologetically. “No. It’s not that.”
“What, then?” Ocean asked, stepping close again and slipping a hand around Gloria’s waist.
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