by Belle Harper
Ryker wasn’t allowed to do anything she didn’t want. Colt told us, that if she chose to hold someone else’s hand or want to fall asleep with someone instead you couldn’t pull her away. You had to let it be. She had different needs at different times, and she would pick us based on how she felt and needed us. I didn’t realize she reacted that way until she had run out and straight for Colt. She’d needed strength and that was what he was for her, for all of us. Noah was our joker. Always made us laugh. Ryker was…kind of broody at times, but he was a good guy deep down. Wise…old. I almost laughed at that. He wouldn’t like me calling him old, but he wouldn’t tell us how old he was either, I assumed forty-something. But then its hard to tell out here. I’m sure I don’t look my age.
And then there was me… I didn’t know where I fit in with her. I loved her though, and that’s all that mattered.
Colt cleared his throat and started.
“When a woman is a certain age, usually younger than Nova, they release an egg…”
“Oh my god, I’m so stupid….” I groaned. I knew what he was talking about now. How stupid could be I to forget that. My mum sat me down for the talk when I was ten.
Colton chuckled and led me back to the fire. Glad he didn’t say anything. The alcohol was starting to wear off, and the pain was returning. But I was glad that nothing worse happened to me. I could be Adam right now. With no right arm. I didn’t even want to think about what we did before to save him. Glad Colton had a strong stomach.
It was cold. The fire had only a few glowing red coals, and my body was stiff from being upright on the hard-wooden log. It was my turn to keep watch, and I struggled to keep my eyes open. The cold air hurt. But that just reminded me I was still awake, it helped keeping me that way. Noah snored next to me. I took over watch from him a few hours ago. His body was huge, and I was tempted to snuggle into him for warmth, but I knew if I did I would pass out. I couldn’t relax. Not yet. Ryker was up next, but he had at least another hour to go before he needed to be on watch.
Colt was in the tent with Adam. He took charge of caring for him last night. He woke me up a few times, calling out in pain. I felt bad for the guy. Fuck he was in so much pain when… nope not going to think of that. My body shivered at the memory. Keeping that visual locked away.
Ryker slept in the Jeep with Nova. She fell asleep in his arms while he rocked her and hummed those old music tunes. And Kento never left the Jeep, except for a toilet break. The guy looked stronger every day. Still a bit jumpy but I talk to him as much as I can and I want to be his friend.
I heard the Jeep’s door open and glanced over to where I saw Nova place her bare feet on the soft damp grass. She quietly closed the door and scanned around until she caught me looking at her.
“Hey,” I whispered as I sat up higher, the pain in my cheek had me very awake right then.
She didn’t look happy to see me, and I didn’t know how I felt just then. Did I do something to upset her? She slowly dashed behind a tree, and I sat there and stared where she had gone. I saw her arm move here and there, and her hair flicked out every so often. But she was there for a long time. I heard her sob and instantly jumped up and ran for her.
“Nova, Nova,” I called out to her as I rounded the tree, ignoring the pain.
“Go away, Ezra. Leave me alone.” She tried to hide herself from me, but I knew what was wrong after last nights talk with Colt and Ryker.
“Did you get… Um, your period?” I stumbled over the word a little but used the softest voice I could. As that was one thing I remember my mom had told me. Something called PSM or PMS made woman very sad and angry when they get their periods and you need to treat them extra nice.
She just stared at me with those big brown eyes. The tears streaked her face. Maybe she would like a bath?
“Would you like me to heat up some water for you to have a bath?” That got her attention.
“We have enough water for a bath?”
I wished I’d worded that right because the look on her face was about to change when I said no. I hesitated too long and it fell.
“No, of course we don’t. that was stupid to even think that. Just a bird bath. Which I still want. If that’s okay?”
I nodded and ran back to the fire and grabbed a few more branches to put on. We didn’t have an axe, but we gathered enough small branches that we could cut them up for the fire. It had almost dulled the saw we had been using, the same one we used on Adam’s arm. Don’t think about it. It didn’t happen.
I opened the back of the Jeep and pulled everything out I needed to heat up water.
“What the fuck?” I heard Ryker grumble out to me from the front.
“Just getting the iron pot to boil water in. Nova wants a bird bath.”
I heard him grunt and then open the door and slam it closed. It was loud enough to have woken everyone up. He stomped around the back and helped me locate the pot. He handed it to me. Fuck, it was heavy, my ribs pained me from the weight. I saw all the canned goods we got back in the last city. We had stocked up on a lot, which we needed now there was so many of us. But we were getting lower on goods to trade.
“I will get the water. And some rags for cleaning,” Ryker said as I slowly walked the iron pot over to place on the fire.
Noah grumbled and moaned about being woken, so I sent him to continue his sleep in the Jeep. He could be cranky if he didn’t have enough sleep and that was the last thing Nova needed.
10
Nova
I have never felt this horrible. Okay, yes, I have. But this, if this was what being a woman was about, then I changed my mind. It wasn’t nice. And the blood. Yes there was that to add into it. Ryker explained to me that I finally put on enough weight for my body to start my period. Harlow had said the same thing. The only good thing I knew from this was I could have children. I always thought I couldn’t.
It was embarrassing. I saw I had dry blood on the inside of my thighs and my pants, and I didn’t want anyone else to see. I couldn’t hide any of it. Ezra’s idea of a bath made me so happy. The cold out here made everything worse. But I didn’t want to go back in the Jeep and cause stains on the seats, or even worse one of their laps since I never actually sat on the seats. It leaked everywhere.
“Nova?” I knew that voice anywhere. Ryker.
I slowly got up and walked around the tree and stopped as I felt it start to run down the inside of my leg. Fuck. I quickly walked back to the tree, which really wasn’t far enough from camp to be doing my business, and tried to get as much of it out as I could.
“This is so not happening,” I groaned.
“Nova.” I almost fell flat on my face at how close Ryker now was.
“Yes?” I hoped he wasn’t going to walk around the tree to look at me.
“Are you okay? Actually scrap that, you’re not okay. I know and I’m sorry you’re not feeling the best right now, but the water is ready, and I have some clean rags to wash you. Plus I have some more rags that you can use as a pad to soak up…” I groaned. I knew he was being helpful. In fact he had been more helpful than I could have asked for. But he was Ryker. I haven’t really kissed him, not the way I want to yet. Or seen him naked, let alone him seeing me naked. And here he was, being so wonderful as he helped me with my first period.
“Thank you,” I said as I pulled my pants up and tried to cover the stains with my top. I came around the tree, and Ryker was there with a smile on his face as if I was some beautiful creature he just found in the woods. That was not how I was feeling though.
“I will grab you some of the new clothes we bought.” And off he went in a jog to the Jeep. Ezra stood by the fire with the pot of water beside him.
“It’s ready to go. If you want I can take it anywhere you want. Or I can face the other way. Or just...” He seemed to fumble a bit over his words. He sat down on the log next to the fire, which was warm. I was grateful for the heat. The sun had come up now, but the chill was still there. I could feel i
t in my bones. I walked around and stood behind him. He turned his face to meet mine and I bent down and kissed him.
“Thank you so much. Don’t leave. I… I guess I will have to get use to this as much as you all will.” He dipped the rag in the water and squeezed the excess out and handed to me. I saw the steam rising from the rag as I ran it over my face. Oh, wow. Heaven.
Ryker came over and handed me some clothes. They looked almost new.
“Wow.” My jaw went slack as he placed them next to me on the log.
“And I got you some new underwear. We all got another pair each when we were stocking up and you were sleeping.” He handed me another pair of black women’s underwear. They looked in almost brand new condition. That was the second pair he had bought me.
“They are clean. And I can show you how to use these extra rags as pads, and have them sit inside your underwear if you like?” He was so easygoing about all of this, and he knew what to do. I don’t know if I would have been so comfortable about all of this if he wasn’t so amazing. I nodded in reply and he gave me a smile. I had this strong urge to kiss him. So I did.
“Wow what was that for? Not that I’m complaining.”
“It was just because...” I grinned back at him. I felt my cheek flush with a blush. Oh gosh, Ryker was fucking hot. I couldn’t help he made me feel all giddy.
“Adam?” I whispered into the tent. Colton told me he had woken up and asked for me. Ezra explained to me what had happened last night and that they couldn’t leave him to die that way. That they gave him a fighting chance. They got some medicine from the doctor before they left so they hoped that it would help with any type of infection he may have had.
Colton also told me that with the six of them here, I didn’t need to save anyone else. Well he said it in nicer words, but I understood what he’d meant. I had brought three more into our family. And I didn’t exactly ask if they were okay with that.
We had enough to protect me. Which I agreed. Because when I left Bakersfield and set out to Eden, I never even expected to find three men and fall in love with them. Or that we would find Ryker who had wiggled his way into my heart and the others.as much as they don’t want to admit it, they like him too. Kento. What can I say, such a beautiful soul. And Adam. My sweet, beautiful Adam. He’s lying in a tent, in the middle of the woods with a serious infection and the boys had to…cut off his arm. I don’t even want to think about it. It made me cry. Stupid girl hormones.
“Nova?” Adam asked as I crawled in and carefully sat next to him. He was laying down, covered lightly in blankets.
“Oh, Adam, I’m so sorry.” I stroked my hand across his clammy forehead, brushing some of his hair out of his face. His aqua blue eyes looking up at me. He really was the most beautiful person. Long dark lashes, a small amount of facial hair, he was normally clean shaven so it was nice to see the scruff on his chin. He had the looks of an angel.
“Don’t be. I’m still here, and I’m here with you. Plus the guys gave me so much alcohol that I didn’t feel much at all. It’s was almost painless... So don’t worry. I will be fine. I already feel so much better.” I kissed him gently on his head as I lay next to his side and cried. That was all I could do, and I wished I could stop. But everything was making me cry.
Colton came into the tent with food. It was beans that had been heated and they tasted amazing. I loved warm food in my belly. It just made you feel so much better and beans were a great way to fill it.
“Tomorrow we are going to try hunting again. We want to get some meat. Maybe we will get a deer if we are lucky. We need some red meat. It will help Adam here and Kento get stronger. The beans are full of protein and vitamins. We have a lot of them, so things for us are looking up. Now we just need to get to Eden and we can finally relax.”
I was so happy my belly was full. I still had cramps, but they weren’t as bad now, and I was happy just laying here with Adam and Colton.
“Thank you, Colton. I don’t say it enough but I really wouldn’t know what to do without you, and the guys. Your amazing and I’m so lucky to have you.” I hugged him tightly. I wanted to show him how much I loved him. He sat next to me and let me nuzzle into his chest. He was so warm.
“I love you,” I whispered into his ear. Colton whispered it in return. Tears pricked my eyes again. That was the first time he had told me that. Ezra and then Noah. And now Colton. They loved me. And I loved them.
The tent opened and Noah poked his head in. I sat up. Colton and I had been talking about all the things I wanted once we got to Eden while Adam slept on and off.
“And I want a big veggie patch. We can grow everything we can get our hands on. Including beans.” I smiled up at Noah who had his big cheerful grin on. Those dimples made me smile every time I saw them.
“Hey, my two favorite people… and Adam,” Noah greeted. He wasn’t being mean; he just didn’t know Adam yet, and I guessed we were his favorite because he loved us both. And that gave me some naughty ideas on what I would like to do with them both. But the cramps reminded me that now was not the time to be having dirty thoughts.
“I was wondering what the sleeping arrangements were for tonight. Adam seems to be doing better. Do we want Nova in the Jeep? Or tent?” Noah asked. I looked to Colton, who shrugged.
I watched Adam, who caught my eye and glanced away quickly. “Um…Do you think there enough room for four of us?” I asked Colton.
“Maybe not.” He started to move from where he lay beside me for the last hour, he kissed me as he got up and left the tent. Noah crawled in and zipped the tent closed.
“I’m sure we can make it fit. Can’t we, Adam?” Okay that time he sounded mean. Maybe he was being mean before. I gave Noah a look that told him I knew he was being rude and the look of guilt was written on his face, the smile now gone as he lowered his gaze from me.
I grabbed his chin and pulled him to look at me. “Hey, what’s gotten into you?” He shrugged and looked even more guilty as he tried to avoid eye contact.
“Hey, you tell me now,” I demanded. I sound like a spoiled brat but I didn’t care. He looked to the tent door and then back to Adam before he tried but failed to bolt from the tent, I grabbed his arm before he got to the tents zipper. One thing I had noticed with Noah was he didn’t like confrontation.
“I just… There are so many of us now. And I...don’t want to be left out.” His voice so quiet it nearly broke. He rubbed his hands together in his lap, and wouldn’t look at me.
Why would I leave him out? “Hey, look at me. I would never leave you out. You’re right there are more of us. But I love you, Noah. You’re my big dimpled jokester who makes me laugh. I would never leave you or anyone out… I guess when I think about it, I never planned to have one boyfriend let alone three and we made it work. We make a great family. Now there is more to our group our family but you’re still mine. Okay? If you ever feel left out come and tell me. Okay?” I nudged him with my shoulder, hoping he would smile or at least look at me.
He finally did turn to me, his smile was small as he wrapped his arms around me. Encasing me against his body. Adam would have just heard what I said, but he was quiet and didn’t say anything. I was grateful. I leaned my whole body into Noah hugging him tightly back.
“I need a toilet break,” I murmured to Noah who laughed.
11
Adam
The blond guy Colton popped his head into the tent that I had spent the last three days in. “Hey, there is a storm coming, and we don’t know if it’s acid rain or not, so we are moving out now.” Beside me was Nova and the older guy, Ryker. He was much older than Nova, but she snuggled up to him as if he was a lover. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous. I didn’t think she was with him like that, I had only seen her with Ezra, Noah and Colton while I had been here. But this was the first time Ryker had been in here with her. I just assumed he was too old and she didn’t see him like that. But obviously not.
I told Nova when they cut my lower
arm off that I practically didn’t feel anything. Ryker told me to down play it as much as possible as she was very emotional. So I did. But that wasn’t the truth. It hurt, so much, no words could describe the pain. There was a dull throb now, but it was so tender I didn’t want anyone to touch it. Fortunately, I passed out from the pain when they started cutting into it, so in some way I told the truth, that it didn’t really hurt at all, since I wasn’t awake for most of it. They sealed it closed with a hot knife, to cauterize the arteries. I was glad to not be awake for that.
I was lucky to be alive and I shouldn’t be jealous of Ryker. Nova wanted me with her. She told me she wanted me to come with her to Eden. So here I was. But I couldn’t help feeling jealous. I wanted to hold her like that while she slept.
I slowly sat up and groaned at the pain as my shirt touched the wound.
“Shit, you okay, man?” Ryker sat up fast while still cradling Nova as she slept. How she was still asleep was beyond me.
“Yeah just tender is all. Looking for my beanie.” I used my left arm and now my only hand to feel behind where it must have come loose and fallen off in the night. I grabbed it and tried to slide it on one-handed. I’m going to have to learn to do everything one-handed from now on. I was right handed, but I guess I was not a leftie.
“All right, sleepy head, you need to wake up.” I watched as Ryker talked to her softly. He brushed some of the hair that had fallen across her face, and she scrunched up her nose at him. I chuckled to myself when she muttered something about not walking and to carry her to the Jeep. That she wanted to sleep forever.
“She came to bed late last night. She was listening to Ezra talking shit for hours,” Ryker explained to me. And I knew that. I couldn’t sleep with her being a few feet away from me. I could hear her talking and laughing. I wanted her to do that with me. But every time she slept in here with me, she had been curled up with another man. I wanted her in my arms…arm. Hell.
