by Rachel Cusk
What people?
Pause. MEDEA keeps writing.
JASON
I got so sick of the endless bloody conflict. Always having to find new friends because you’d fallen out with the ones we had. Always moving because you decided you didn’t like where we were.
MEDEA
That’s today’s, is it?
JASON
Today’s what?
MEDEA
Theory.
Pause.
JASON
Why did everything have to be so bloody controversial?
MEDEA
I wanted honesty.
JASON
Your honesty made me a fucking exile.
MEDEA
Our life was –
JASON
Our life was –
MEDEA
about truth.
JASON
an ordeal.
MEDEA stops typing and looks at him.
MEDEA
Was it?
Pause.
JASON
Hard as it might be to believe, I still care –
MEDEA
Oh –
JASON
– about you.
MEDEA
– really?
JASON
It hurts me to see you getting hurt.
MEDEA laughs.
This could all have been very different. But it’s as if you’re blind – you feel but you can’t see. So you break things.
MEDEA
Me?
JASON
Look what happens when I’m not –
MEDEA
I do?
JASON
– protecting you. You start destroying things.
Pause.
MEDEA
I’ll destroy you.
JASON
What?
MEDEA
I said I’ll destroy you.
JASON
You can’t. I’m beyond you now.
Pause.
I just want what’s best –
MEDEA
You want.
JASON
– for you and the boys.
MEDEA
You want.
Pause.
JASON
God, you women. You pick it to the bones, don’t you, the fucking corpse.
Pause.
I just want something clean.
Pause.
I want to be free.
MEDEA
You can’t be.
JASON
Why not? Why –
MEDEA
You’re not –
JASON
– not?
MEDEA
– free. You have two –
JASON
Oh, the children –
MEDEA
– children.
JASON
– are fine. They’re incredibly –
MEDEA
They’re not –
JASON
– resilient. They’re finding this –
MEDEA
– fine.
JASON
– easier than you are.
Pause.
Most of their friends have divorced parents. It would be stranger for them if we stayed together.
MEDEA
There speaks the cynicism of our times.
Pause.
You can’t just send them –
JASON
Look, I need to put myself –
MEDEA
– back to the shop.
JASON
– first for –
MEDEA
I’m not a shop.
JASON
– a while.
MEDEA
I’m not a shop.
Pause.
You deformed me. You came inside me –
JASON
What exactly are you –
MEDEA
– and you grew there.
JASON
– accusing me of?
MEDEA
Twice.
JASON
It was entirely –
MEDEA
While you stayed –
JASON
– your choice to –
MEDEA
– exactly the same.
JASON
– have children.
MEDEA
You touched everything. You got into everything. Even my words have your finger marks on.
JASON
Look, I feel I’ve done all I can to make this all right for you. It’s in my interests, for Christ’s sake. It’s in my interests for you to be all right. Can’t you see that?
Pause.
MEDEA
But I’m not all right.
Pause.
JASON
I hate to say it, but you’re your own worst enemy. You play the victim. But you’re not a victim, you’re the – the opposite.
MEDEA
I don’t know what –
JASON
All I’m saying is that –
MEDEA
– I am. I can’t remember –
JASON
there comes a point where you have to accept that –
MEDEA
– what I was before –
JASON
you bring things on yourself.
MEDEA
– you came inside me.
JASON
Look, you’re not like other people.
MEDEA
You’re inside the children too.
JASON
You don’t see things the way everyone else does.
MEDEA
You own fifty per cent.
JASON
At the moment that’s a losing hand –
MEDEA
Can I just love my half, please?
JASON
– but if you exercised some self-control it could become a kind of strength.
Long pause.
MEDEA
It’s funny the way, when you shaft people, you still want them to like you afterwards. Did they teach you that at your private school?
JASON
Oh, shut up. God, even the sound of your voice –
MEDEA
You think you can –
JASON
makes me sick.
MEDEA
– silence me.
JASON (Laughs.)
If that was true I’d be doing –
MEDEA
You act like I’m nothing.
JASON
– everyone a fucking favour.
MEDEA
You act like it was nothing, what I did.
JASON
What did you do?
MEDEA
But it’s you that’s nothing.
JASON
Come to think of it, what did you actually do?
MEDEA
I made you what you are.
JASON
I made –
MEDEA (Laughs.)
You wouldn’t have been –
JASON
myself.
MEDEA
capable of leaving me –
JASON
Jesus, your arrogance.
MEDEA
if I hadn’t tarted up your brain.
JASON
You women really have –
MEDEA
You didn’t even know how to –
JASON
a God complex.
MEDEA
fuck a woman –
JASON
You think you’re –
MEDEA
until I taught you.
JASON
the creators.
MEDEA
I rather regret that now.
JASON
But you’re just the vessel. You don’t make anything.
MEDEA
I made our children.
JASON
You wanted them!
Pause.
MEDEA
Didn’t you?
JASON
Of course I wanted them. All I’m saying –
MEDEA
Didn’t you want them?
JASON
is that you made –
MEDEA
Didn’t you?
JASON
a free choice. To be perfectly honest –
MEDEA
Go on.
JASON
I mean, you know I love the boys, but –
MEDEA
Go on.
JASON
– no, it wasn’t essential for me. Not the way it was for you. I mean, obviously I’m glad we did but I’m not sure I’d have actually –
MEDEA
Say it.
JASON
– chosen it.
Pause.
To be perfectly frank, I think a lot of men feel that way. They just don’t admit it.
MEDEA
But you do.
JASON
I do what?
MEDEA
Admit it.
JASON
I’m being honest.
MEDEA
That’s not –
JASON
I thought you were all –
MEDEA
– honesty.
JASON
– for honesty. Or is it only you that’s allowed to be honest?
MEDEA (Shouts.)
That’s not honesty!
JASON (Raising his hands.)
Look, no one can say I haven’t tried. But I can’t deal with this any more. From now on, you’re on your own.
Pause.
MEDEA
I think I always was.
JASON
If that’s true, then it’s because you deserved to be.
They stare at each other.
MEDEA
I can’t save them, because I can’t ever have them whole. You couldn’t even leave me that.
They walk in separate directions off the stage.
SCENE 13
The WOMEN are waiting outside the school gate.
W1
I don’t feel like it today.
W2
I know what you mean.
W1
I feel like I can’t be bothered.
W2
I know what you mean.
W1
You know how sometimes you think, you know –
W2
I know.
W1
– sod all this, I just want –
W2
I know.
W1
– to have some fucking fun.
Pause.
W3
John’s in Paris this week.
W1
I mean, I love the kids –
W4
Is he?
W1
you know I –
W2
Oh, I know.
W1
– do, I mean we all –
W3
For work.
W1
– love our kids –
W2
Exactly.
W1
– don’t we?
Pause.
W3
He says the women are amazing.
W4
Where?
W3
In Paris.
Pause.
As in, you know, beautiful. He says he’s never seen such beautiful women.
Pause.
W1
But sometimes you just want –
W2
I know what –
W1
– some glamour.
W2
– you mean.
W1
You want someone to just –
W2
Exactly.
W1
– fuck you over the –
W2
I know.
W1
– fucking kitchen table.
Pause.
Do you know what I mean?
Pause.
W3
It’s something to do with their mouths, apparently.
MEDEA enters and stands at a short distance. They look at her.
W1
Mind you, things could be worse.
W2
Exactly.
W1
Things could definitely be worse.
W2
Exactly.
W1
Imagine being stuck with it all on your own.
W2
I know.
W1
It’s not fair, is it?
W2
I know.
W1
I mean, the facts speak for themselves, don’t they?
W2
Exactly.
W1
I mean, you’ve got to ask yourself – how do they get away with it?
Pause.
Don’t you?
Pause.
W2
How does who?
Pause.
W1
How do men.
W2
Oh, right. Yes exactly.
W4
She looks so –
W1
Doesn’t she?
W4
– so sad.
W1
Doesn’t she?
W5
She looks frightening.
W1
Doesn’t she?
W3
It’s the kids you’ve got to worry about.
W4
Just so –
W3
I mean, is anyone monitoring this situation?
W4
– sad.
W3
I mean, she wasn’t the most normal mother in the first place.
Pause.
Was she?
W5
Archie said something the other day.
W3
Did he?
W5
The other evening, in the bath. I saw this thing on his arm and I said –
W3
What sort –
W5
– you know, what’s that and he said –
W3
– of thing?
W5
– a certain person bit me.
Pause.
W3
That’s a bit much.
W5
I thought, you know –
W3
That’s a bit –
W5
– I know they’re having a hard time and everything but –
W3
– much, isn’t it?
W5
– there’s got to be, you know, a limit. I mean,
W3
Did you –
W5
Just because her kids are suffering doesn’t mean –
W3
– report it?
W5
– our kids should suffer too, does it?
Pause.
I mean, whatever’s happening in our personal lives, we’ve got to control our kids, haven’t we?
Pause.
W1
To be honest, I’d rather be dead.
W2
I know.
W1
I’d rather be cleaning toilets in Siberia.
W2
I know.
W1
Anything but that.
W2
But what?
W1
Being stuck with it.
W2
Oh, I know.
W1
On my own.
Pause.
W4
Weren’t you offended?
W3
What?
W4
When your husband said that.
W3
Said what?
W4
About Paris. Weren’t you offended?
W3
Not really.
W4
I mean, if my husband rang me up from a busi
ness trip and said that, I’d be really offended.
W3
He was only being honest.
W4
I mean, he’s basically telling you that he’s looking at other women.
W3
They all do that.
W4
And that they’re more attractive than you are.
W3
That’s what men do.
W4
I mean, you’re stuck at home with the kids.
W3
They just don’t admit it.
W4
And he’s in Paris staring at women’s mouths.
W3
I’d rather he admitted it.
W4
Did you really not mind?
W3
Not really.
W4
Well I must be different then.
W3
I suppose so.
W4
I must be more sensitive.
W3
I suppose so.
W4
I feel upset just thinking about it.
W3
That’s a shame.
W4
Men are so – horrible.
SCENE 14
MEDEA and the two BOYS in the boulder landscape. She sits writing. The WOMEN stand like trees around the stage.
B1
What’s a delinquent?
Pause.
Mum, what does it mean to be a delinquent?
MEDEA
Why do you ask?
B1
That’s what Grandma says I’m going to be when I grow up. She says it’s because I come from a broken home.
Pause.
What’s a broken home?
MEDEA
A home that’s been divided into two homes.
B2
There’s no such thing. There can only be one home. If you have two homes then you have no home.
Pause.
B1
How long are we staying here?
MEDEA
I don’t know.
B1
Can’t we go back to our house?
MEDEA
Our house has been sold.
B1
But can’t we get it back?
MEDEA
It was too big for us.
A MAN in a suit walks across the stage and stops when he reaches them.
MAN
Excuse me, can’t you see I’m trying to pass?
They get out of the way and the MAN walks on.
B2 (Looking at his phone.)
Dad says he won’t be here this weekend, by the way.
B1
But we’re meant to be going there.
B2
Well he says he won’t be here.
Pause.
He says he’s going to Paris.
B1
He’s taking us to see Arsenal this weekend.
B2
He can’t take us to see Arsenal if he’s in Paris.
B1
Mum, is Dad taking us to see Arsenal this weekend?
B2
He’s probably going with her.
B1
Mum, is he?
B2
She probably said, We can’t take that horrid little boy to Paris – he’ll get the Eiffel Tower dirty!
B1
Mum?
The WOMEN start to gather around MEDEA.
Mum?
MEDEA
Once I was driving on a road in the mountains.
W1
What on earth were you doing there?
MEDEA
I was going somewhere in my car.
W2
Where were you going?
MEDEA
I don’t remember. But I remember wanting to get there.
W3
On your own – that was brave!
