by M. G. Herron
A low growl emanated from the bodyguards. Hard to say if it was anger or excitement. Maybe a little of both.
I held up my empty hands, palms forward. “Forgive my ignorance. I’m just a simple man trying to make sense of all this. I came here because I thought we might be able to help each other out.”
Vinny gave a slight but firm shake of his head.
The Gatekeeper glanced over, the light from her eyes playing across Vinny’s elongated snout. Finally, she turned back to me. “Go on.”
“Well, you might have heard of a little Pharsei rampaging through your city.”
The fire in her eyes reduced to low simmer. “What of it?”
“It doesn’t make you look great, does it? You’re charging offworlders, like my friend Vinny here, for protection, but you can’t stop one little Pharsei from making a real menace of himself.”
“It’s no problem for me,” Vinny interrupted. “Really, I don’t mind paying my dues.”
The Gatekeeper waved Vinny off. “No offworlder has been hurt by the Pharsei. My people tell me he has maintained his disguise, followed our codes.”
I snorted. “Please. Some disguise,” I said, delicately omitting how fooled I, myself, had been.
The Gatekeeper glared at me, saying nothing.
I was gambling by assuming the Gatekeeper’s reputation would be sullied by any disruption caused by the Pharsei, but it hadn’t seemed like too much of a stretch. Mob bosses the world over put their deadly reputation ahead of everything else. I’d already noticed several societal and behavioral similarities between humanity and Federation-registered beings in the little Dyna had shared with me. Why would an alien mob boss be any different? I caught the Gatekeeper’s eyes to make sure she was looking straight at me when I twisted the knife in deeper, searching for my target.
“So, you must know, then, that two Peacekeepers came all the way out here to protect your city for you?”
“Peacekeepers,” she hissed. Her fists clenched at her sides.
Bullseye.
“Oh, yeah,” I said casually. “You didn’t know? Huh, I thought you’d be the first to find out.”
“What do you want, human?”
“Well, you see, I’ve got a little problem of my own. That Pharsei murdered the bounty I was hunting, so I’m no longer going to get paid for finding him. As it stands, I’ve lost about twenty grand on this contract.”
“Ah,” she said. “I see. But what incentive have I to pay you if the Peacekeepers are here to take care of the problem for me?”
“Well, I could stop those rumors, for one.”
“What rumors?”
“The ones that imply that you’re losing your edge. Not much of a gate to keep if a Pharsei and two Peacekeepers can sneak in unnoticed, is it?”
The Gatekeeper scoffed. “To spread such slander, first you’d have to make it out of here with your life.”
The guard dogs stepped around behind us. Vinny stiffened. If we got out of this, I owed that poor Pangozil a beer.
Smiling and trying to project an air of calm I didn’t feel on the inside, I said “Sure, you could do that. But if we don’t walk out of here alive? Whose door do you suppose those two Peacekeepers would come knocking on first?” I checked my naked wrist, as if consulting the time, then lowered my voice to a stage whisper. “They’re expecting me.”
The Gatekeeper lifted her chin and regarded me with those fiery eyes. This time, it wasn’t much of a bluff. I’d as much as promised Dyna I would help them hunt down Elekatch. And she was probably pissed we’d ditched her back at Moretti’s Pizza. She may not have been informed of this particular plan, but the end result would be the same.
Finally, the Gatekeeper began to laugh. I grinned at her and at Vinny, who let out an uncomfortable chuckle of relief as his nose twitched. The guard dogs behind us seemed to read their master’s mood, and stepped back a pace or two.
“Oh, human, you do amuse me. Fine. I’ll play your little game. How much do you want?”
For a second, I thought about trying to milk the Gatekeeper for every penny I could squeeze out of this bargain. Could I get the six-figure sum I needed to pay off my debts at once?
Did I want to take that risk?
After giving it some thought, I backed it down to a reasonable sum.
“Ten grand for keeping my mouth shut. And, I need you to convert twenty grand worth of Federation credits I’m going to be receiving into dollars, minus a fee for the service, of course.”
Vinny’s eyes widened slightly at this. He must have connected the dots about where the extra money was coming from. And Dyna thought I would make a good law enforcement officer.
“Do you think I was born yesterday? There’s no way you were going to get thirty grand for returning whichever unimportant little meat sack the Pharsei happened to ingest.”
That was a petty insult. Still, I maintained an unflinching stare and shrugged. The Gatekeeper’s flaming eyes narrowed.
“Two thousand,” she countered.
“Eight.”
“Four.”
“Five.”
“Five thousand dollars, paid after the Peacekeepers have departed in their dinky little Federation sprinter. And, you shall bring me a souvenir.”
“No chance you’ll consider six?” Though I feigned disinterest, my heart soared in my chest, and I fought down the feeling of elation that threatened to peel back my lips into a mirthful grin.
“The only reason I’m playing along at all is because you have amused me this evening. So far,” the Gatekeeper said.
I didn’t miss the threat lurking behind “so far.” I stuck my hand out. “Deal.”
She glared disdainfully at my hand. “I keep my word, human. Don’t forget my souvenir. His head would be best, if there’s anything left of it. Pharsei are notoriously difficult creatures to kill. Otherwise, I shall accept an appendage. Make sure it is kept fresh. Now go. You have a contract to fulfill.”
This seemed like an odd, but fair, request. More Wild West than I was used to, sure, but still not beyond my comfort zone. Which confirmed, yet again, that I’d make a piss poor cop.
Without waiting for further acknowledgment from Vinny or me, the Gatekeeper turned and stepped toward the stoned young man who’d been lounging in the booth, immobile, during our conversation. Without warning, the naked woman’s body collapsed to the floor, and an electric blue alien separated itself from her head. The creature was small, with wings like sheets of fire and the translucent body of a deep-water eel. The Gatekeeper circled twice around the young man’s head. He smiled up, like a baby in a bassinet, and then gasped as the Gatekeeper slithered into his mouth and took up residence behind his eyes.
The limp body of the raven-haired young woman was dragged unceremoniously toward a black curtain by one of the guard dogs, one too-flexible paw around her ankle. The sight of the beautiful girl being mistreated that way caused my blood to boil. But what was I going to do about it? I’d already played my hand.
Vinny yanked on my shirt, and we made our way hurriedly to the exit.
13
“You’ve lost your goddamn mind,” Vinny said. The restaurateur slammed shut the trap door behind the Museum of the Weird. We exited through a back alley and came out on sixth.
“You’re a good sport,” I said. “And a good friend. I owe you one.”
He shook his head and muttered several choice curse words under his breath, then finally settled on, “You owe me ten, you crazy bastard.”
I patted him on the shoulder a few times.
In the stairwell, as we climbed back up to street level, Vinny had reactivated the technology that restored his human appearance. This time, I had watched as the whiskers receded into his skin, as his elongated snout shrank. After just a few steps, he looked, once again, like the tan-faced New York pizza chef I’d always known.
We both wanted to put some distance between us and Harbor, lest the Gatekeeper change his mind. I wasn’t sure how lon
g we’d been down there, but the streets were empty now, all the bars on Sixth Street closed, the street food carts shuttered and locked. It must’ve been three, maybe four in the morning.
“I’ve been wondering,” I said, breaking the silence and trying to soften Vinny up again. “You’re a rat-faced man—no offense—who loves pizza. What are the odds that a Pangozil inspired the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?”
“Don’t try to change the subject, you lunatic.” Vinny scowled at me. “But I did know Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman back in ’82 or ’83. They frequented the pizza parlor I worked at in New York, back before I saved up enough to buy my first restaurant.”
“Really?” I did a double-take. “That’s incredible!”
Vinny shook his head. “Get some rest, Gunn. You look like hell, and you’ve got a long day ahead of you tomorrow.”
I blinked a few times and realized he was right. I needed to find that toxic alien skinwalker, and now I had twenty-five thousand good reasons to stay motivated. But my eyelids felt like sandpaper. First, I needed sleep.
I wagged my pointer finger at Vinny. “You’re not getting out of telling me the rest of that story, pal. You’re right, though—I am pretty beat.” I grinned. “But happy. I’m still gettin’ paid!”
“You gotta find the Pharsei first. If the Peacekeepers take him alive, how are you going to get a piece of him to take back to the Gatekeeper?”
“I’ll worry about that later.”
He shook his head. “You were fearless in there. Stupid, but fearless.”
“It was a risk worth taking. And I knew you had my back.”
“This Pharsei is nothing like the frightened human fugitives you’re used to chasing, Gunn,” Vinny warned. “Be careful.”
“Always.”
“You good to walk yourself home? I still gotta finish cleaning the kitchen.”
“Sure. I’ll see ya.”
I barely noticed my surroundings on the short walk back to my office. I climbed up the stairs, unlocked the door, and collapsed into the more comfortable chair I reserved for my clients on the near side of the desk. I was asleep in less than a minute.
A twinge in my lower back woke me. The sun was high overhead glaring through the window, and as a result, I was covered with a sheen of sticky sweat. The sun had turned the small room into a sauna that the old air conditioning unit couldn’t keep up with.
I muscled up, stood, and shoved my knuckles into the knot in my lower back as the events of last night begin to reassert themselves.
“What time is it?” I wondered aloud, stifling a yawn.
I fumbled around until I found my phone. I swore. I’d left it in the office when Dyna and Kilos took me out to see offworlders the night before, then forgot to plug it in before I fell asleep, so its battery was dead. I plugged it into the wall and was waiting for it to boot up when a fist pounded against the door to my office, startling me.
“Mother of God, what—”
“Andy!”
There was only one woman in Austin who still called me Andy. I lumbered over to the door and yanked it open to find a furious Detective Gonzalez standing there in a sharp blue pantsuit and white blouse, sidearm bulging at her hip. Like me, she was covered in a sheen of sweat. Strands of her long dark hair that had fallen out of her ponytail stuck to her temples.
A rainbow of expressions passed over her face. First, there was obvious relief accompanied by a deep sigh and a lopsided smile. Then, her brow knitted together in confusion as she peered beyond me into the office. Finally, there was the furious anger as her jaw clenched. She cocked her fist back.
I saw it coming, but my office is small and Gonzalez is scrappy as hell. I bumped into the chair I’d slept in as she strode forward, adjusting her swing. She nailed me in the shoulder. Twice. Better than the face.
While she was winding back to throw a third haymaker, I grabbed her fist. She may have been a tough woman, but I was a foot taller and her small fist fit easily in my hand.
She yanked back out of my grip, breathing hard.
“What the hell, Sheila?” I said. “That hurts.”
“Screw you! I’ve been calling and texting you all day. I thought something awful happened after that phone call last night.”
“What time is it?”
“It’s 2:30 in the afternoon, you lumbering man-child.”
“Oh.” I wiped a hand down over my face. “Oh, no.”
I should’ve been out there pounding the pavement looking for the Pharsei, not sleeping in my office. Why had I slept so long? The only conclusion I could come to was that after the events of the previous night—being struck down by Elekatch, revived by the Peacekeepers, and then negotiating with an alien mafioso—my body had required the extra rest.
“What kind of bounty hunter sleeps in till 2pm?” Gonzalez said.
I scowled at her, unsure what to say. Would she believe me? Hey, Detective Gonzalez, I met some aliens last night, just thought you should know.
Leaning back over the chair, I grabbed my phone. It had powered up and proven Sheila right—the clock read 2:36pm. As I watched, the missed text messages and phone calls began to roll in. In addition to Gonzalez’s calls and messages—of which there were several—I also had texts from both Annabelle and Alek to read.
I opened Alek’s message first. His was simple. Any leads? Followed by, hello?
I started typing but didn’t know what to write. On the one hand, I kind of felt guilty for making deals with the Peacekeepers and the Gatekeeper without informing Alek that Kovak was already dead. But did I have any proof to show him? And what did I tell him, that a deadly alien with a yards-long tongue was wearing Cameron Kovak like a onesie?
I switched over to Annabelle’s messages. One berated me for not saying a proper goodbye last night followed by several winky faces. Then, six hours later she sent another text.
Are you alive??????
The guilt of “cheating on” Alek snowballed with this newfound guilt over how I’d left Annabelle last night, but I was relieved to hear she was okay—I smiled and shot her a quick reply: Still kicking. Glad you got home safe.
“Earth to Anderson,” Gonzalez said. “Aren’t you even going to apologize?”
“For what?”
She crossed her arms.
“You hung up on me. Why do I need to apologize?” I pocketed my phone. “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t call you back. I had a late night.”
She leaned back against the doorframe and let out a deep sigh. “You and me both. I got called in for backup crowd control on that power outage last night. But I didn’t sleep in until mid-afternoon like some lazy bum.”
“The perks of self-employment. Besides, I think my body needed it.” I said. “So, you were worried about me, huh?”
She swung at me again, but it was a playful punch. Her fist sailed harmlessly by, inches from my face.
“You’re a jerk.”
“You need anger management.”
“Do you still think someone’s following you?”
I know they are, I thought. But I couldn’t tell her that. She’d already made it clear she didn’t want to be involved or share information with me. If it wasn’t for our long history, she wouldn’t even have been here. So, I just said, “Can’t prove anything yet.”
She grunted. “Watch your back. It’s dangerous out there without a partner.”
“Where’s your partner?”
“Waiting in the car.”
“Don’t worry about me,” I said. “I’ll find a way. I always do.”
“I know you don’t want to end up like your old man, Gunn. I can’t get out from under the shadow of mine either. He’d hang me out to dry if he knew I was even talking to you.”
“I appreciate what you do.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think you do. And don’t call me out of the blue anymore. You never know who’s standing over my shoulder. I—”
There was a rattle as the central air conditioning un
it suddenly died. I looked over and saw that my phone was no longer charging either. Only made it to a whopping six percent battery. Crapola. “Power’s out, Sheil.”
“Again?” she said. “Dammit, they must have incompetent people running that power plant.”
“It’s hot.”
“It’s always freaking hot in Austin!”
A radio crackled. Gonzalez reached behind her and pulled a black walkie off her belt. “What is it?”
“Pileup at the off-ramp down the street. We’re the closest unit. We should get down there to lend a hand.”
Gonzalez rolled her eyes, but said, “Be right down.” She looked at me again. “Duty calls. It’s been all hands on deck with these power outages. Captain’s orders. I’m never going to find Kovak if I’m back directing traffic.”
“No, I suppose not.”
“Keep your phone on. And don’t be an idiot.”
She turned and walked out. I wiped an arm across my forehead. My sleeve came away damp. I checked the window and made sure the flimsy lock atop it was secured. When I turned around again, I screamed like a little girl.
Dyna and Kilos were crowding into the narrow doorway of my office, staring at me like weirdoes.
“Geez, could you knock?”
“You abandoned us last night,” Dyna said, her resonant voice thrumming.
“Whoops.” I didn’t even try to hide my lack of apology.
Dyna tilted her had. “That is an odd expression. Yet I think I comprehend what you are trying to impress upon us. Your evasive abilities have been noted.”
“It’s not that. My friend Vinny just isn’t comfortable around you two.”
Kilos, who had been posed like a statue, let out a low growl. “This human irritates me. Can’t we just retrieve the Pharsei ourselves?”
That caught my attention. “You found Elekatch?”
“We have tracked him the west side of the city and ascertained his most likely target.”
“Son of a bitch,” I said, already grabbing my firearm and wallet. “Did he cause the power outage?”
