by Lora Inak
‘Shut up, Juliette. For God’s sake, shut up.’ Natalie dabbed her neck with her hand. Her fingertips came away dotted with blood. ‘Misha, can you see anything at all?’
‘No,’ Misha sobbed. ‘It’s like there’s a grey sheet over my eyes.’
‘Okay. Shit.’ Her heart thundered in her ears.
With Juliette freaking out, and Misha pale and shaken, Natalie stifled the panic rising in her chest. Her arms and legs were weak, and the graze on her neck stung, but she pulled herself together. ‘Misha, listen. We’re in the middle of the road. Can you pull over?’
‘No. I can’t see.’
‘I’ll direct you. We have to move off the road. Just take your foot carefully off the brake and steer the wheel to your left.’
‘I CAN’T.’ Misha shook.
‘Okay … okay. Just calm down.’ She twisted her fingers together.
There was only one thing left to do. She didn’t have her full licence yet, but she’d been on plenty of practise drives with her father. She put the car into park, pulled the hand brake, and leaned over to press the hazard lights. ‘Stay where you are.’
Checking the passenger side mirror, Natalie hopped out of the car. She ran around to the driver’s side, annoyed that Juliette had already jumped out and not even bothered to help Misha.
She opened Misha’s door and clutched her arm. ‘It’s okay. I’ve got you.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Misha cried, her whole body shuddering as Natalie lowered her onto the kerb. Her eyes were still unfocused; but there was a little more colour in her face now.
‘Just sit here and take a breath.’
‘Oh, Jesus.’ Juliette stood beside Misha and drew a crucifix across her chest. ‘This is all freaking me out.’
Natalie’s knees wobbled as she jumped in the car, pulled it over to the side of the road and turned off the ignition. She walked back to Misha and Juliette.
‘Should I call an ambulance?’ Juliette whimpered.
‘No.’ Misha held up her hand. ‘Don’t call. My eyes are clearing.’
‘Are you sure?’ Mascara tinged tears lined Juliette’s face. ‘That was scary. You need to see a doctor, both of you.’
‘I’m fine,’ Natalie lied, using a tissue to dab the specks of blood on her neck. ‘It’s just a graze. I’ll put antiseptic on it when I get home.’
‘Mish?’ Juliette insisted.
‘Stop fussing, Jules.’ Misha rose, wiping her face on the back of her sleeve. ‘I’ll see a doctor on Monday. I want to go home, Natalie. Okay? I want to go home.’
Natalie squeezed Misha’s hand. ‘Maybe we should call an ambulance.’
‘No. I just wanna go home. Please.’ A fresh set of tears sprang to her eyes.
‘Okay, but I’m driving.’
She helped Misha back into the car and then fixed her L-plates to the front and rear windows. Juliette was too frightened to get back in the car and decided to walk the rest of the way home. She promised Misha she wouldn’t say anything to anyone, but Natalie knew better.
They drove home in silence, watching the trees blur past, both too overwrought to talk. Finally, Natalie turned to her sister. ‘Misha, I ... ’
‘I know,’ Misha cut in, her voice trembling.
‘It’s probably nothing, your eyes I mean. Just a migraine or something.’ Natalie tried to sound reassuring. ‘Maybe from all the stress, you know, at home.’
Misha nodded, her smile tight. ‘Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. I’ll be okay.’
Chapter 11
Katelyn texted her a few days later. She’d read and reread the message at least a dozen times.
Please meet me 5pm at LeFey Park.
She knew she owed Katelyn a massive apology. She wanted to make things better between them, she really did. She missed her, especially right now with all the stuff going on at home and with Misha, but she was emotionally spent. She knew she couldn’t ignore Katelyn either, so she decided to go and get it over with.
She put down her atlas, changed out of her school uniform and stared at herself in the bathroom mirror. Her eyes were glassy against her pale face. She carefully peeled the bandage off her neck and replaced it with a fresh one. It was hard to explain to everyone why she had a wound on the side of her neck, especially when Misha had forbidden her to tell anyone the truth. Maddie kept telling everyone at school that she was hiding a love bite.
‘Natalie,’ Misha called from her bedroom.
‘Yeah, what?’
‘Can you come in?’
Natalie ran a comb through her hair and checked the time. She had twenty minutes to spare. She walked into Misha’s room.
‘Azeem called again. And he sent me chocolates. To work. Did you tell him I love Ferrero Rochers?’
Natalie shook her head, her back stiffening. ‘No. I’ve hardly spoken to the guy.’ She wasn’t sure if Misha was expecting another apology. She’d been scolded enough about giving Azeem her number.
‘He’s gonna be at the wedding.’
‘Oh, cool.’
‘Juliette will be there too. What am I gonna do? She calls him a cripple.’
‘That’s because she’s rude and thinks she’s better than everyone else.’
‘She just wants the best for me,’ Misha insisted, massaging her leg.
‘Well then, she should back off. It’s none of her business anyway.’
Misha blushed. ‘Juliette says he’s in love with me.’
Natalie leaned against the doorjamb. ‘Why? Just because he’s called a few times?’
‘No, she doesn’t know about the phone calls. She just noticed him staring at me in church.’
‘Is that so bad?’
Misha bit her lip. ‘He made me promise to save him a dance at the wedding.’
The guy had balls. He and Misha on the dance floor, in front of the whole community—and he wasn’t worried. ‘Did you promise?’
‘Well, yes. It would have been rude to say no. But what will Baba say?’
‘I’ll dance with you both, that way Baba can’t say anything.’
An unmarried young man and woman dancing alone would set tongues wagging, but not if they were dancing in a group.
Misha exhaled, stretching her fingers, then fisting them and then shaking them out as if to get the blood flowing again. ‘Thanks.’
‘Did you make an appointment to see the doctor?’
‘Yes. It’s on Friday night.’
‘Can you please tell Mama and Baba now?’
‘No.’
‘But why?’
Normally Misha created a drama out of every little thing. She loved the attention, the concerned looks, the phone calls from worried friends. When she’d twisted her ankle, tripping on uneven footpath last year, she’d milked it dry, taking days off work and complaining constantly about the pain. You’d think she was dying from her injuries.
‘I …’ She paused. ‘I just don’t want to worry them. It’s nothing anyway.’
Natalie knew Misha wasn’t telling the truth, but after all the lies she’d told lately, she was hardly in any position to judge. Besides, she’d promised to keep things to herself.
‘Has it happened again? You know, with your eyes?’
Misha shook her head.
‘Good, then it’s probably nothing.’ Natalie checked her phone; she really had to get going. ‘I’m meeting Katelyn for a bit. I’ll be home in about an hour.’
She ran downstairs, noticing that the red gerberas Baba had bought Mama a few days ago were beginning to wilt in their vase. She almost collided with him coming through the front door. He was home earlier than usual, carrying another bunch of flowers and a copy of the latest Woman’s Day—Mama’s favourite magazine. Baba was suddenly full of apologies and embarrassing romantic gestures.
‘Where
are you going?’ he asked, heading to the kitchen.
‘To meet my friend. I’ll be back before dinner.’
But Baba didn’t hear her; he was too enthralled by Mama who had come out to greet him.
‘Ah, Selim. This is so beautiful,’ Mama cooed, sniffing the flowers. ‘I made your favourite custard pastry for dessert.’
‘You spoil me.’ Baba landed a sloppy kiss on Mama’s cheek and laid his hand on her lower back.
Seeing her parents being overly affectionate was better than them yelling at each other, but Natalie was too grossed out to watch any more. The heat crept to her face as she remembered the soft thudding coming from their bedroom earlier that week. Clearly at some point, they’d decided to act like adults.
As she closed the front door behind her, Natalie welcomed the cool breeze on her face. It helped settle her nerves. She and Katelyn had been meeting at LeFey Park since Year Seven. They met there to hang out, talk about Katelyn’s ‘hot guy’ episodes, whinge about their parents and siblings, complain about the teachers at school. LeFey Park had become a special place. Since they’d fallen out, Natalie hadn’t been brave enough to go there, but now, it made sense to meet there and ‘have it out’. Perhaps for the last time.
It was a small park and playground tucked between a group of houses on LeFey Court. Today the place was deserted, except for a guy sitting on a swing. She knew that hair and she knew those shoulders. Was it just a coincidence he was here? He looked up, and she knew right away he was expecting her.
He jumped up and walked towards her. Should she turn and leave? No. That was way too uncool.
‘I’m glad you came.’ Chris stopped beside her.
She arched her shoulders. ‘You guys tricked me.’
‘Don’t blame Kate. I hounded her until she gave in. You kinda left me no other choice. You’ve been avoiding me at school and didn’t return any of my calls or messages.’
‘I’ve been busy, you know, lots on at school and stuff.’
Chris huffed. ‘Do you expect me to buy that?’
She wasn’t lying. She definitely had a lot happening in her life, but she couldn’t share any of it with him.
‘Can’t we just leave things?’ she said instead.
His face fell. ‘Can you at least tell me why? Was it the kiss? Was it that awful for you?’
‘Is that what you think?’ she shook her head. ‘No. The kiss was’—she paused, her cheeks burning—‘it was amazing. For me. I mean, I’ve … I’ve never kissed anyone before.’ It was hard admitting that to him, but she’d rather him know she was completely inexperienced than think their kiss had been terrible. She couldn’t believe how mixed up things had become.
It was Chris’s turn to blush. ‘Oh.’
Great! Now he’d link her reaction at the party to her ‘kiss virginity’, and then to her actual virginity. God! How embarrassing.
He surprised her by laughing. ‘Then for a first timer, you’re bloody good.’
She smiled, her shoulders dropping.
‘So what happened then?’ he pressed.
‘I guess I kind of freaked out.’ It wasn’t the whole truth, but close enough to it. ‘All those people cheering and taking photos. And then Steph went and put it up on Facebook!’
‘Fair enough.’ He took her hand. ‘Do you think we can be friends again?’ He circled her palm with his thumb.
She gazed into his eyes, the blue speckled with sunlight. She desperately wanted to explain. To unload it all on him, but the words stuck in her throat. What would he think of her if she told him about her family, her crazy, loud, Orthodox culture? Tell him about all the rules she was expected to live by. The straight, unbending road she was supposed to walk. Would he still look at her like he was now?
She should say no. It was better if they weren’t friends, but instead she nodded. ‘Yes. But only because I know you’re totally addicted to my fascinating facts. I wouldn’t want to deprive a junkie like you.’
‘You’re kind of a smart arse, aren’t you?’ he whispered, a gentle smile on his lips. He ran his hand down the side of her neck, leaving a trail of goose bumps. He paused at her bandage. ‘So, is this really a love bite?’
Her knees wobbled at his touch. ‘No. Long story.’ Should she tell him the truth, or the lie she’d told everyone else? ‘I was in the car with my sister when a dog ran across the road. She hit the brakes pretty hard, and well, the seatbelt cut into my neck. No biggie.’
‘Ouch. Although, I’m glad it’s not a love bite.’ He locked his eyes with hers, running his fingers through her hair.
She found herself drawn to him, her skin craving to be closer to his.
He took her arm and sat her down on a nearby bench. He leaned tentatively towards her, lightly pressing his lips to her neck.
A sudden wave sent tingles from the top of her head to the soles of her feet. His mouth trailed up and landed hard against her mouth. They kissed, deeply. Heart thumping and body alight; somewhere in the back of her mind she was shocked at her behaviour. Kissing a boy in public, on a park bench where anyone could see. Had she learned nothing from the Facebook incident? But she was too lost in the moment to care.
He ran his hands down her back and dipped them up her t-shirt, softly running his fingers over her skin.
She lost track of time, only conscious of his mouth and body, the smell of him. She didn’t want it to end. How could something that felt this good be wrong? The wind picked up and brushed over her with its icy paint. She hardly noticed. She was burning up.
A woman walking two dogs sauntered past, peering at them with open curiosity.
Natalie sensed her presence and pulled away, the magic of the moment shattered. God, what had possessed her? What if someone she knew had seen them? She shouldn’t have let this happen.
She moved to stand, but he grabbed her wrist and held her there. ‘Are you running off again?’
‘It’s late, I should get home.’
Tightening his hold, he stood and pulled her up. ‘What are you doing Saturday night?’
‘Going to a wedding.’
He gave her a lop-sided smile. ‘Okay then, how about Sunday night.’
‘Nothing much.’
‘Let’s go see a movie.’
Yes. She could see a movie. There was no sin in that. Her parents wouldn’t have to know who she was seeing it with. It would need some careful planning and a few little lies, but she could definitely see one. But should she? It was wrong to lead Chris on like that. She just couldn’t resist that hopeful look in his eyes. She didn’t want to resist. She wanted to see a movie with him. One movie wasn’t so bad, was it? She’d avoid any kissing so that he understood they were just hanging out as friends and nothing more. Yes. She would use it as an opportunity to set new ground rules.
‘Yeah, okay.’ She shrugged, as if a movie with a boy was no big deal. ‘I can do Sunday.’
‘Cool.’
‘I better go now.’
‘Sure. I’ll walk you home.’
‘Nah, that’s fine. I mean, that’s okay. Thanks anyway.’
Imagine rocking up to the front door with Chris in tow. It’d give her father an aneurism.
‘My parents would drag you in for twenty questions.’ It wasn’t a total lie. There’d definitely be a lot of questions, and perhaps some yelling, and then locking her up forever in some padded room maybe.
Chris leaned in and pecked her on the cheek. ‘Okay. See you tomorrow then.’
Chapter 12
She approached Katelyn in the locker room the next day, her heart pounding in her ears, but determined nevertheless. She didn’t want her friendship with Katelyn to end, not when she could do something to fix it. Not when she could at least try.
After expecting to have it out with Katelyn, but meeting with Chris instead, she’d spent ages thinking
things over. She and Chris were friends again, her parents had sorted things out, Misha was happier, and now it was time to fix things with Katelyn. But would Katelyn be willing to forgive her? That was the part that had her stomach in knots.
‘Kate, ummm. Can I talk to you for a minute?’
Katelyn spun around. ‘Oh!’
Before Natalie could say anything, Katelyn held up her hands. ‘I didn’t want to send the text message. Chris pressured me. Actually, that’s an understatement. He hounded me. He even followed me home one afternoon. And, well … you did kiss him at the party, so I thought maybe you wouldn’t mind.’
‘No, no … it’s okay. I’m cool with it. I’m not angry or anything.’
Katelyn’s hands dropped. ‘Good.’
The conversation hadn’t quite started the way she’d planned. Was now still a good time to apologise? No one was around. She took a long breath, ready to launch into an apology when Katelyn spoke.
‘So, you and Chris have a thing?’
Natalie bit her lip. She wasn’t sure what they had. ‘We’re just kinda hanging out. It’s nothing serious.’
‘Nothing serious?’ Katelyn raised her eyebrows. ‘It was your first kiss. That’s special.’
Natalie swallowed. ‘Yeah. I just didn’t expect it to be in front of everyone like that.’
‘Well, I wouldn’t have put money on that scenario either.’ Katelyn’s grey green eyes were warm.
Perhaps Katelyn would forgive her. It felt completely possible right now.
‘Kate, about what happened. You know, when you told me about Markus. I know I was …’
‘Kitty Kate,’ Brooke called from the doorway, flicking back her dark hair. ‘You coming?’
Katelyn waved at her. ‘Yeah, I’ll be there in a sec.’ She turned back to Natalie. ‘Sorry. Go on.’
Brooke stood there, waiting with her arms crossed. Natalie couldn’t face the idea of apologising to Katelyn with Brooke listening on. This was daunting enough without an audience. ‘Ahh … nothing. Another time perhaps.’
‘Okay.’ Katelyn pursed her lips. ‘Well, anyway. I better go then.’
