by Lora Inak
‘Be gentle,’ Juliette instructed. ‘He’s a cripple, so he could be sensitive.’
Natalie had heard enough. ‘Jesus, Juliette … how can you be so …’
‘Oh, damn! Mama is calling,’ Juliette cut her off. ‘We’ve got relos coming over tonight. Gotta go. I’ll call you later.’ She darted off, her ponytail flapping behind her.
Misha clenched her jaw. ‘I don’t like it when she calls him a cripple.’
Natalie didn’t like it either. She spotted Munirah and Lamya looking over and whispering. Great. The last thing she needed right now was to have them come over to explain or clear the air. She grabbed Misha’s arm. ‘Let’s go find Baba.’
She dragged Misha around the courtyard, glad Baba was way over the other side. He was talking to a group of men, worry beads in hand, his arms flailing. On the way to church, the news on the radio had reported that the city of Palmyra in Syria was destroyed during a showdown between Islamic State and Syrian Government troops. Baba and Mama had visited Palmyra on their honeymoon and Baba was distraught that many of the two-thousand-year-old ruins hadn’t survived the battle.
Misha’s phone vibrated. She fished it out of her bag.
‘Oh, it’s Azeem,’ she whispered, reading the message. ‘He had to work. That’s why he’s not here. And he says he wants to meet me for dinner tonight.’
Azeem knew he wasn’t supposed to ask her sister out without first asking her parents’ consent. He knew the cultural rules, and he was breaking them anyway. Natalie liked this guy more and more. ‘So meet him.’
‘Are you crazy?’ Misha threw her phone back in her bag. ‘You know I can’t do that. Besides, I don’t want him anyway.’
‘Seriously, Misha, when will you just admit you like him? It’s obvious you do.’
‘I do not. Besides, Baba would kill me.’
‘Are you always going to do what’s expected of you?’
‘What are you going on about?’
‘Don’t you ever want to break the rules? Do what you want to do instead of what Mama and Baba want?’
‘No. Why would I?’
Natalie shook her head. ‘Listen, tonight when you drop me off at the movies, just meet Azeem somewhere in the city, or somewhere far away where no one we know will see.’ The city was far enough away so that Misha wouldn’t be anywhere near her and Chris, either. ‘Then afterwards, you can pick me up, and it will be like we went to the movies together. Easy.’
Misha hesitated, shaking her head.
‘He’s a good guy, Mish. Just give him a chance.’
‘He’s … his leg …’
Natalie sighed. Misha would always be Misha.
In the car on the way home, so Baba wouldn’t know, Misha texted her from the front seat. The text said: ‘Okay, if it’ll make you happy, I’ll go for a coffee with him.’
***
Natalie was pulling on a pair of jeans when Misha rushed into her room.
‘Which top?’ She held up a red one and a stripy navy blue and white one.
‘Do you mind? I’m getting dressed.’
Misha ignored her. ‘Quick, which one?’
‘I like the striped one.’
Misha changed into the navy blue, and ran back with two pairs of shoes.
‘The black flats or the white sandals?’
‘Sandals.’
Misha slipped them on, grimaced, slipped them off and gave her feet a rub.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing. Should I put my hair up or leave it down?’
‘Leave it down.’ Natalie pulled a cardigan on and shoved twenty dollars into her pocket. ‘Can we go now; I’ll be late for the movie.’
‘Wait, I have to check my make-up.’ Misha dashed into the bathroom, applied another layer of mascara and lip balm, and grabbed her handbag.
In the car on the way to the movies, Natalie’s heart somersaulted. They’d left home with no questions asked—so that was the hard part done. But she couldn’t quell the butterflies in her stomach. This was pretty much a date. Her first date ever! What would her parents say if they knew she was about to go to the movies with an Australian boy? An image of her father screaming at her, one hand gripping her upper arm, flashed into her mind. Was it too late to turn back?
‘What’s wrong?’ Misha asked.
‘Nothing. Why?’
‘You’re all tense.’
‘I’m fine, just excited for you.’ Natalie released her grip on the edge of her seat and forced herself to smile. ‘Where are you meeting Azeem?’
‘Café Italia in the city. But only for a coffee and nothing else.’
‘What else would there be?’
‘He wants to go for a walk in the Botanical Gardens, but I told him no. He’s so annoying.’
‘Imagine that, him wanting to go on a romantic walk with you. Sounds super annoying, Mish. You should have the guy arrested. Oh … can you drop me off right here?’ She pointed to the road facing side of the shopping complex.
‘Here? Why? I can drop you off right out the front.’
‘No, here is good. I feel like a walk.’ She wasn’t going to take any chances. Chris might be waiting out the front, even though they’d agreed to meet at the ticket box.
Misha frowned but pulled over anyway. She leaned down and rubbed her feet again. ‘I’m getting these stupid pins and needles in my feet now.’
‘Again?’ Was it normal to have them so often? ‘Did you tell the doctor about them?’
‘No, why would I?’
Natalie shrugged. ‘I don’t know. It’s worth mentioning, just in case.’
‘I’ll mention it to the Ophthalmologist when I see him next month. Now, can you please get out? I’m in a no standing spot.’
Natalie opened her door but stayed seated. ‘Pick me up right here at ten okay? You don’t need to come in or anything.’
‘Yeah, fine. Say “hi” to Kate.’ Misha paused, breathing heavily. ‘I’m so nervous I think I’m gonna pass out.’ She gripped the wheel. ‘Seriously, my chest is so tight.’
‘It’s your first date ever. Of course you’re nervous.’ Natalie wished she could tell her sister she was feeling pretty much the same way. ‘Just relax, okay?’
Maybe one day she and Misha would laugh at how weird and funny all this was. How they were both worrying about the same thing, on a night where they were both about to go on their first dates.
‘What if Mama and Baba find out? They’ll kill me. You saw how Baba was the other night.’
It was the first time either of them had mentioned it. Bringing it up made it more real somehow. It threw a heaviness over them.
‘They won’t find out, and they won’t kill you.’ She gave Misha a quick hug, hoping her words were true. She jumped out. ‘And if Azeem wants to go for a walk, then go for a walk. It’s just a walk, Misha. Walking is not a sin.’
As she watched Misha drive away, she reflected on how she wanted to do a lot more than just go for a walk with Chris. Since they’d kissed at the party, it was like her body had woken up. Just thinking of him made her ache and tingle in places it had never ached or tingled before. She had dreams about him that made her blush hours after she’d woken up. And on their walks home together, she found herself noticing him in ways she hadn’t before. The fine golden hair on his forearms, the width of his shoulders, the bulge of his biceps. It was maddening!
She hurried through the empty shopping complex, following the signs to the cinema. Taking the escalators up to the top floor, she spotted Chris waiting for her at the ticket box. She wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans, willing herself to act cool.
‘I got us popcorn,’ he said, holding up a huge bucket.
God, he had the best skin. And that crooked smile. Her breath faltered. Should she really be doing this? Leading him on? But it wa
s just one movie. If he asked her out again, she’d say no.
‘Oh,’ she feigned embarrassment. ‘Didn’t I tell you? I’m allergic to popped corn. Creamed corn, corn bread and corn kernels are fine though.’ Great! Another lame joke, but she knew he’d appreciate it regardless.
He smirked. ‘Nice one, except now, I can tell when you’re bullshitting.’
She raised her eyebrows. ‘So, you think you know me, do you? Hmm. We’ll see.’
He gently took her hand. ‘I’d like to get to know you’.
She knew she should pull it away and make it clear they were just friends, but it felt so nice. Natural. Besides, why was this wrong? And why was it okay for boys in her community to date before marriage? The double standards weren’t fair.
He led her into the cinema, taking two seats right up the back. The chairs were worn and uncomfortable, and the place smelled like popcorn, but she hardly noticed any of it. All she was aware of was Chris’s leg brushing hers. She peeked across at him, their eyes met. He smiled. Her heart raced in her chest. Katelyn said that the cinema was a perfect place for pashing. Would he try to kiss her again? God forgive her, but she hoped he would. So much for her plans to show him she only wanted to be friends.
The lights dimmed. They watched the advertisements and trailers. At least, she tried to, but she could barely concentrate. She was far too aware of his every move. His proximity to her and how his shoulder kept touching hers.
‘You okay? You seem tense,’ Chris whispered in her ear, his warm breath brushing the side of her neck.
His closeness was unbearable. She turned her face until her mouth was inches from his. Before she could respond, he leaned in and kissed her, lightly at first, teasing her lips with the tip of his tongue, and then his kiss hardened, his tongue exploring her mouth, his fingers threading her hair. Everything around her melted. She clutched the back of his neck, pulling him closer. She dipped her hand under his t-shirt and revelled in the smoothness of his skin. He was just so perfect.
He lifted the armrest between them and pulled her closer. Where were her inhibitions? She was in a cinema, pashing a boy, yet, she realised with surprise, she didn’t care. She was too gone in the moment, too overpowered by the emotions swirling inside her, completely oblivious to the passing time, to the people around them.
When the lights suddenly brightened, she was startled.
Chris pulled away. ‘Is the movie over already?’ he mumbled.
Noticing everyone staring at them, she straightened her hair. ‘Yep. And we didn’t even get to eat any of this.’ She held up the bucket of popcorn.
They followed the other cinemagoers out. Chris grabbed her hand and held it tightly. ‘Do you need a lift home?’
‘No. My sister’s picking me up.’
‘You have a sister?’
‘Yes, but she’s the evil step kind.’ Lame jokes just spewed out of her mouth now. She had come to accept that.
He turned to her, his face serious. ‘You never talk about your family.’
‘Don’t I?’ She knew she didn’t. She deliberately didn’t. Talking about her family meant she had to tell him more than she wanted him to know. Besides, how would he take it all? Would he understand about her culture? She didn’t think so.
He let go of her hand and crossed his arms over his chest, tapping his fingers against his upper arms.
‘I have a mother, a father and an older sister,’ she volunteered.
His jaw tightened. ‘Is that all?’
‘We had a pet goldfish, but he jumped out of the fishbowl. I’m pretty sure it was suicide.’
Chris didn’t even crack a smile.
‘I don’t get why you’re so cagey.’ His eyes blazed. ‘Can’t you see that I just want to get to know you?’
‘There’s nothing much to tell.’
He pulled out his phone and checked the time. ‘Okay. Anyway … better go. I’ll see you at school.’
Hands balled into fists, he walked away.
Her heart leapt to her throat. Perhaps she could tell him a little bit. She ran after him and grabbed his arm.
‘Okay. Fine. My father is a tailor and runs a small business making custom suits for men. My mother is a stay-at-home mum. She’s an awesome cook, and it’s a huge surprise I’m not grossly overweight. My sister is in admin for an insurance company in the city. She’s twenty-three years old and can’t wait to get married.’
Chris gave her a tight smile and nodded, indicating that he wanted her to continue.
‘Oh, and my father deals in arms for ISL. He’s also been involved in several bombings in Asia.’ She kept her face as straight as she could, but it was almost impossible when she saw the colour drain from Chris’s.
‘What?’
She laughed out loud, partly with relief. ‘I thought you could tell when I was bullshitting.’
‘Jesus. You gave me a heart attack.’
‘Sorry. I was just mucking around. My family are okay, I guess. Normal. My sister can be a drama queen and a massive pain in the arse.’
‘Sounds like my little sister. I used to complain about how loud and annoying she was, but now that I don’t get to see her much, I really miss her.’ He took her hand. ‘Hey, listen. I’ve been telling my dad about you. He wants to meet you.’
Natalie’s stomach tensed. In her culture, meeting the parents meant an intention to marry, but she knew that wasn’t how it worked with Australians. Even so, the thought of meeting Chris’s dad was daunting. ‘Oh.’
‘Dad has the day before Good Friday off. Can you come over then?’
Her breath caught. This was all moving so fast. How could she say no? What reason could she give? ‘Ah … okay.’
He leaned in and kissed her on the mouth. ‘You look grey. I promise you, he doesn’t bite.’
She smiled, hoping it would conceal her terror. ‘Ha, ha, ha. Very funny. I really should get going.’
‘I’ll walk you to the car.’
‘Nah, that’s okay. Thanks anyway.’ She said it a little too quickly, so she covered by reaching up and giving him a kiss on the cheek. ‘I’ll see you in English tomorrow.’
Later in the car, Misha was flushed and overly chatty, while Natalie battled with the nausea churning in her guts.
‘After we had coffee and cake, we went for a walk around the city and he made me hold his hand. He’s so annoying,’ Misha said.
‘Why didn’t you just pull your hand away?’ Natalie wanted her sister to admit she liked Azeem. Maybe then she’d give the guy a break.
‘I … I don’t know.’ Misha lapsed into silence. ‘I guess I didn’t mind it. He has soft hands.’
Natalie patted Misha’s shoulder. ‘It’s okay to like him, you know. Just cause he has a prosthetic leg doesn’t mean he’s not a good person.’
‘He showed me his leg,’ Misha said. ‘It was … it was full on. He told me about the accident, and how bad it was.’ Misha merged into the left lane. ‘All the doctors thought he was gonna die … but I’m glad he didn’t.’
Natalie knew her sister well enough to read between the lines. Misha liked him despite his ‘disability’, and despite her own hang-ups and unrealistic ideals about the perfect husband.
‘There’s something else.’ Misha lowered her voice.
‘What?’
‘Don’t you dare tell anyone. Especially Mama or Juliette or Katelyn and definitely not Baba.’
‘Okay, okay. I’m dying to know.’
‘He kissed me.’ She laid the back of her hand against her cheek. ‘Allah forgive me, but it felt really nice.’
Natalie wanted to say, ‘Yes, I know exactly how nice it feels. How it’s so right, even though you feel guilty as hell. How you want it to go on forever.’
Instead, she oohed and aahed and teased her sister, until Misha punched her in the arm.
Chapter 14
‘Heading to the oval?’ Maddie fell in step with her as she walked out of the locker room.
Natalie nodded.
After their movie date, Chris had invited her to sit with his group during breaks. That meant she was now also hanging out with Maddie, Steph, Gemma, Alex and Simon. It was a huge improvement to sulking in the library, but she was struggling to suss out the dynamics of the group. As far as she could tell, Simon was pretty much in love with all three girls, and none with him. Alex joked around with Maddie, but Natalie was almost certain he wasn’t into her. Steph tried to play it cool, particularly in front of her, but it was clear she had a thing for Chris. Gemma thought all high school boys were juvenile and hinted at being in a relationship with her older brother’s friend, but refused to come right out and admit it, saying that she wanted to keep her love life private. That was a laugh given how much she gossiped about everyone else’s. After three days, Natalie realised that ‘girls talking constantly about boys’ wasn’t specific to the girls in her community—it was universal.
‘Steph, Gem and I are going shopping this weekend. We’re getting in early to find dresses for the formal. Wanna come?’
‘Yeah. Sure. That would be great. I need a new pair of jeans actually.’
The details of the upcoming senior formal had just been announced, and although it wasn’t for another four months, every girl in Year Eleven and Twelve was already planning her outfit and grouping off for shared limos. She’d stifled any excitement about the formal. No point in getting her hopes up.
When they got to the oval, Gemma and Steph were already sprawled out, enjoying the last of the warm weather. Alex, Simon and Chris had joined a group of other guys in a game of Frisbee.
‘Oh, hey, Nat. How are you?’ Steph smiled up at her, shading her eyes with her hand.
‘Pretty good. You?’ She still couldn’t believe she was now sitting on the oval with the cool girls. She and Katelyn used to watch them and joke about the kinds of things they might be talking about. Sitting down, she turned her head towards their spot under the wattle tree and felt a pang.
‘I’m excellent.’ Steph leaned back on her hands and turned her face to the sun. ‘Mmm, can’t wait for summer to come back.’
